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Rated: E · In & Out · Other · #819237
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*Penbl* Author: Chthonic_Piper          [Aug 15, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Other :: None :: None
*Penr* Details: Looking for feedback on this poem in rhymed couplets.

 A Lament  (E)
A poem in rhymed iambic pentameter.
#2131168 by Chthonic_Piper

*Penbl* Author: KatVon          [Aug 13, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Other :: Fantasy :: Nature
*Penr* Details: Please review!!!

 Constellations  (E)
You'll know no matter where you are..
#2131049 by KatVon

*Penbl* Author: cobudo          [Aug 13, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Horror/Scary :: Emotional
*Penr* Details: Recently returned to writing. Would appreciate any input.
  [Short Story]

 An Evil Act Of Love  (13+)
"A roar echoes from a distant room. I go cold. Is it dawn already?"
#2131044 by cobudo

*Penbl* Author: Jamie          [Aug 13, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: I'd like review on my "style" mostly.
  [Short Story]

 Soap in My Eyes.   (E)
The weirdest bath an accountant took.
#2130948 by Jamie

*Penbl* Author: PureSciFi - And the Oscar goes          [Aug 13, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Sci-fi :: Mystery :: Drama
*Penr* Details: I know that my ending could be a lot better. It's more telling than showing. But what about the rest of this story. Does the ending hurt me enough not to win this contest? Only you can answer that question. Each qualifying review will get GPs.

 An Unknown Past  (18+)
A SpaceStorm uncovered the ruins. But it hasn't explained why it did it, yet.
#2130986 by PureSciFi - And the Oscar goes

*Penbl* Author: DeNine          [Aug 12, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Young Adult :: Supernatural :: Mystery
*Penr* Details: Hello. I know you're probably really busy, but I was wondering you would could possibly help me and review my first chapter of my novel? I would really really appreciate it. I am looking for advice on my plot and characters sand anything I could improve.

WHAT AM I?- Kyle Chapters 1-10  (18+)
A young man unknowingly makes a deal with the devil... he changes and now what is he?
#2130449 by DeNine

*Penbl* Author: willy          [Aug 12, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Comedy :: Experience :: Psychology
*Penr* Details: Any suggestions for improvements especially the weak title would be most welcomed.

 Growing Pains  (E)
Be very careful what you wish for
#2130045 by willy

*Penbl* Author: Poeros          [Aug 11, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Supernatural :: Occult :: Paranormal
*Penr* Details: Taking a break from my novel this month to work on some short stories. This is the first one (draft) and would be happy with any feedback I got on it. Thank you!
  [Short Story]

 Salem Times  (13+)
When a village lives in fear of its bishop, it is the hidden witches that seek help.
#2130875 by Poeros

*Penbl* Author: DeNine          [Aug 10, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Sci-fi :: Supernatural :: Mystery
*Penr* Details: This is the first chapter of my 23 chapter novel that I am working on. I'm trying to see what I'm doing right, wrong, and how you feel about my character and plot.

WHAT AM I?- Kyle Chapter One  (18+)
A young man unknowingly makes a deal with a man in black... he changes. What is he now?
#2130755 by DeNine

*Penbl* Author: Xander Scott          [Aug 10, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: Fantasy :: Thriller/Suspense
*Penr* Details: Looking for detailed content reviews.

 The Arena - Complex Fantasy/Fiction  (13+)
My attempt to write in GRRM's complex sentence structure. Seeking in-depth content review.
#2130690 by Xander Scott

*Penbl* Author: Zynab          [Aug 10, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Women's :: Family :: None
*Penr* Details: Looking to polish this piece before submitting for a contest.
Thank you
  [Short Story]

 Late Awakening  (18+)
Two women in an abusive marriage finds it hard to leave their partners
#2130740 by Zynab

*Penbl* Author: willy          [Aug 10, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Comedy :: Experience :: Philosophy
*Penr* Details: How to win foes and influence people. What do you think, I think maybe I've focused too much of message and forgot about the beauty of words

 Right Or....  (E)
How to win foes and influence people.
#2130524 by willy

*Penbl* Author: Leslie Loo          [Aug 9, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Contest Entry :: Comedy :: Romance/Love
*Penr* Details: Hi! This item is for the Dialogue 500 and I would like some input on it. It's not finished yet, but feedback is still greatly appreciated. Just a warning, it contains a lot of slang, so don't be too concerned about the grammar.

 Do I Look Fat?  (13+)
Contest entry for The Dialogue 500
#2130111 by Leslie Loo

*Penbl* Author: John Yossarian          [Aug 8, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Family :: Other
*Penr* Details: Looking to polish before submission. Any critiques or comments welcome.
  [Short Story]

The Story Box  (E)
An Alzheimer's patient receives a visit from his daughter.
#2130104 by John Yossarian

*Penbl* Author: wonderfulwriting3          [Aug 7, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: Comedy :: Drama
*Penr* Details: This is a fun play about 2 lost pets. I would love someone that understands the art of plays and drama to review this piece. Thank you.

 The Lost Pets  (E)
A play about two pets that ran away from their owners.
#2129532 by wonderfulwriting3

*Penbl* Author: sdv413          [Aug 7, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Romance/Love :: Drama :: Relationship
*Penr* Details: Reba Found This on Her Finger is a short story entry in last month's site sponsored contest, Rhythms and Writing. Would love some feedback from WdC members.
  [Short Story]

 Reba Found This on Her Finger  (18+)
Short story entry in July's Rhythms and Writing contest
#2129796 by sdv413

*Penbl* Author: Perhaps          [Aug 7, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Mythology :: Inspirational :: Community
*Penr* Details: Free your mind.

 Insert title here  (E)
Free your mind
#2105379 by Perhaps

*Penbl* Author: Leatis Brooks          [Aug 7, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Horror/Scary :: Gothic :: Fantasy
*Penr* Details: Looking for some feedback on this story, I've never written about vampires before... ever. Let alone in a fantasy setting.

 Breathless (Book of Y'on #1) - Chapter 1  (13+)
A constable seeks to end a looming vampire threat in his town.
#2130398 by Leatis Brooks

*Penbl* Author: Theora Thanatos          [Aug 6, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: Paranormal :: Drama
*Penr* Details: I know this is a bit on the longer side compared to the usual but it's to give a more complete picture of where the story is headed. I could really use some feedback from someone who isn't my friend. Will award Gift Points, absolutely.

Martian Demonology  (13+)
Carthreed is a town on the verge of a supernatural crisis. ...
#2130275 by Theora Thanatos

*Penbl* Author: kzn          [Aug 5, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: Western :: Thriller/Suspense
*Penr* Details: 3000 GPs per section.

 When A Buffalo Falls  (E)
#2120628 by kzn

*Penbl* Author: RettaLynn          [Aug 5, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Animal :: Dark :: Drama
*Penr* Details: I need help in all areas, but I mostly would like to know how it makes you feel, and if it arises questions about the story itself.

 The Beginning  (13+)
Some are half human, and some half demon, and others can be half the beast himself.
#2127029 by RettaLynn

*Penbl* Author: Samberine Everose-lownet sgnal          [Aug 4, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Dark :: Adult
*Penr* Details: Please review any poem here in my book, constructive and honest review will be much appreciated.
Gps will be given after. Thank you.

PoeticalsketchVenture--  (18+)
My attempt in creating some emotionalyvented-matured poems
#2122529 by Samberine Everose-lownet sgnal

*Penbl* Author: Dea          [Aug 1, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Romance/Love :: Action/Adventure :: Other
*Penr* Details: This is the opening scene of my novel. Any feedback is much appreciated!

 Desert Courage, ch.1 scene 2  (18+)
The second scene for Ch. 1 of my WIP. It is the heroine's intro to the story.
#2129893 by Dea

*Penbl* Author: WriterAtHeart          [Aug 1, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Philosophy :: None
*Penr* Details: Please read and review. Any feedback/opinion/comment is appreciated.

 Cry of a broken heart  (E)
Broken people are still people...
#2129903 by WriterAtHeart

*Penbl* Author: K.V. Foster          [Aug 1, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Supernatural :: Thriller/Suspense :: Other
*Penr* Details: All welcome! Just need general feedback on a Short Story. Thank in advance!
  [Short Story]

 Shadows in the Dark  (13+)
Real Experience from My Past
#2129880 by K.V. Foster

*Penbl* Author: Robert E. Baker - White Walker          [Jul 30, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: Crime/Gangster :: Inspirational
*Penr* Details: I've just written this story, but I'm super late! Any advice welcomed. It's really short, so ideas on adding meaningful & significant stuff would be appreciated. In particular, I'd love to add more emotion and more inspirational feelings. Cheers! Bob
  [Short Story]

Miguel's Duty  (18+)
Special Agent Miguel Garcia does what he must in the line of duty - for Rhythms & Writing.
#2129649 by Robert E. Baker - White Walker

*Penbl* Author: dizzydreamer          [Jul 27, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Relationship :: Comedy :: None
*Penr* Details: I've just finished writing this poem a few days ago while at work. I'd love to hear what you guys think of it, or if there is a way for me to improve the rhythm and flow of it.

 Monday  (E)
A girl awaits for her crush to finally notice her
#2129376 by dizzydreamer

*Penbl* Author: Eogin          [Jul 26, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Young Adult :: Fantasy :: Mystery
*Penr* Details: Added new scenes. Thanks for reading.

Barnaby, son of the traitor (01)  (13+)
The son of the "Traitor King" is trying to rebuild his family's former glory.
#2124998 by Eogin

*Penbl* Author: Johnny O          [Jul 26, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Experience :: Music :: Entertainment
*Penr* Details: This is a new entry. I am looking for honest reviews and will reward with GP's. Thanks in advance!

 Beat of my heart  (E)
personal experience waiting for true love.
#2129159 by Johnny O

*Penbl* Author: TheSwayer          [Jul 18, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Nature :: Activity :: Environment
*Penr* Details: I want to know if you get what I'm trying to get at, what you understand and what you do not. Thanks

 Child's Spring  (E)
Inspired by watching small children out in the country. Enjoy
#2128482 by TheSwayer

*Penbl* Author: TheSwayer          [Jul 18, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Relationship :: Emotional :: Tragedy
*Penr* Details: Any kind of feedback would be greatly appreciated
  [Short Story]

 Alone  (E)
Breakups hurt. Especially those that we think are never going to end.
#2128478 by TheSwayer

*Penbl* Author: Jon Kotchinsky          [Jul 17, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Sci-fi :: Scientific :: Other
*Penr* Details: Reviews and critiques please!
  [Short Story]

The Plan! (Full Short Story)  (13+)
A short-story about the future of Civilization. Fiction that could very soon be fact!
#2128351 by Jon Kotchinsky

*Penbl* Author: Enbah Nilah          [Jul 17, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Personal :: Emotional :: Family
*Penr* Details: I wrote this poem a year back when my sister got married and moved out of our shared bedroom. I don't know why I never shared it here. But yeah, would love your thoughts, thank you. :)

The Room Knows Farewell  (E)
The room seems to be picking up after us. Your rebellion, my petty revenge.
#2128391 by Enbah Nilah

*Penbl* Author: Angus          [Jul 17, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Horror/Scary :: Dark :: Dark
*Penr* Details: My Muse finally came out of hibernation and told me to write this. First thing I've written for a while, and all comments and criticisms are welcome!
  [Short Story]

 Totality  (E)
Something strange happens one morning in the town of Leland, Wyoming
#2128289 by Angus

*Penbl* Author: John Yossarian          [Jul 16, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: Looking to polish this emotional fiction piece in order to send it out. All help appreciated.

Short read :)
  [Short Story]

Pinned Butterflies  (E)
Flash fiction. A bittersweet story about life's precious moments.
#2128339 by John Yossarian

*Penbl* Author: Epic Fail          [Jul 14, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Death :: Dark :: Emotional
*Penr* Details: I appreciate any feedback given. I know my grammar is horrible. If you notice grammar issues please do make a note of it. I am mainly interested in content stuff. Thanks
  [Short Story]

Where The Dead Go  (13+)
A transient dream-like story from the other side.
#2126650 by Epic Fail

*Penbl* Author: Medjay          [Jul 14, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: War :: Contest
*Penr* Details: Is the story engaging? What are the structural problems with it? What needs help and working?
  [Short Story]

 The Empire of Egypt, Part 1  (E)
It is the year 1450 BC
#2128120 by Medjay

*Penbl* Author: Naturerose          [Jul 13, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Paranormal :: Folklore :: Fantasy
*Penr* Details: Hello, this tale is related but independent of The Man Who Waits by Old Mother Forest. I would like an honest review of it and may expand upon it eventually

Tales of Wicked Wood  (E)
Northmen traders attempt to steal magikal timber only to be thwarted by Tembryth Trolls
#2126543 by Naturerose

*Penbl* Author: Naturerose          [Jul 13, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Folklore :: Fantasy :: Paranormal
*Penr* Details: Hello, I wrote this as a short story and expanded it with the intent to publish it as an eBook. I would like honest opinions and positive feedback to help me improve as a writer

The Man Who Waits by Old Mother Forest  (E)
A fantasy tale about a faerie forest and a walker who watches from the wood
#2126540 by Naturerose

*Penbl* Author: dizzydreamer          [Jul 13, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: None :: None
*Penr* Details: I've just finished this poem, as somewhat of an inner message to myself. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

 Careful, careful, my tender heart  (E)
A brief letter to oneself
#2127984 by dizzydreamer

*Penbl* Author: Enbah Nilah          [Jul 12, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Health :: Personal
*Penr* Details: I haven't been able to write anything for more than half a year. I'm trying to find my words again. Please share with me your thoughts so I can try and work on getting back to writing. Thank you.

The Spirit of Half-Truths  (18+)
I looked through the eyes of the lucid and the sane, and saw myself reflected a stranger.
#2127876 by Enbah Nilah

*Penbl* Author: Daniel Curry          [Jul 11, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Children's :: Action/Adventure :: Family
*Penr* Details: Hello,

Please review this short story I wrote for my son. It is the first in a collection I am writing for him, all about his adventures with his dog, Ollie.

  [Short Story]

 Jacob and Ollie Go to the Park  (E)
A short story I wrote for my son, the first in collection about him and his dog Ollie.
#2127792 by Daniel Curry

*Penbl* Author: elizjohn          [Jul 10, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Nature :: Tragedy :: None
*Penr* Details: Free form poem that I wrote based on some observations I've remarked upon while driving. Feedback is appreciated, and I'll happily return the favor with a review of something of comparable length and type in your port. Thank you!

 Accident  (13+)
A poem based on something that I have been struck by twice now in the past six months.
#2127633 by elizjohn

*Penbl* Author: Naru          [Jul 8, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Writing :: Other :: Death
*Penr* Details: Don't mind that it's so short. It's really just a small story/prose thing I wrote after reading something. Maybe I'll make an actual story about it? Anyways, tell me what you think.

 Betrayal like a fine rose  (E)
A really short story about a girl's death + her ghost watching this from above.
#2127483 by Naru

*Penbl* Author: Cleopadera          [Jul 7, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Biographical :: Spiritual :: Psychology
*Penr* Details: If you've read chapter two, and are so inclined, feedback on Chapter Three would be greatly appreciated.

 The Illusion of Changing Tides, Chap. 3   (13+)
MLTL - Lisa escapes to college and, surprisingly, gets married after graduation.
#2127398 by Cleopadera

*Penbl* Author: Cleopadera          [Jul 7, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Psychology :: Biographical :: Spiritual
*Penr* Details: Seeking honest reviews of Chapter Two, Sliding Glass Doors, of memoir. First Chapter - Black Magic. Ratings are good too. Thanks!

 Sliding Glass Doors, Chap. 2  (13+)
A memoir tentatively entitled My Left Temporal Lobe.
#2127389 by Cleopadera

*Penbl* Author: Tam - White Walker          [Jul 6, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Friendship :: Music :: Young Adult
*Penr* Details: This is an older short story I originally wrote because of a challenge, then redid on a whim. I'm curious if I can get any overall thoughts on it.

 See You Tomorrow  (18+)
A difficult decision made harder.
#2127169 by Tam - White Walker

*Penbl* Author: Joto-Kai          [Jul 5, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Romance/Love :: Emotional :: Other
*Penr* Details: This great old piece, a free-verse poem about love, deserves some attention. It is old-no capitals, etc.-but I think it has a great deal of potential. I'd welcome some thoughts.

 The Plunge  (E)
A cold night in the city with a beautiful stranger. {poetry}
#1026815 by Joto-Kai

*Penbl* Author: Lecters Protege          [Jul 5, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Writing :: Thriller/Suspense :: Dark
*Penr* Details: Hi! All. Please review my poem. Thank you!

 What’s For Dinner?  (13+)
Dinner with an interesting host.
#2040467 by Lecters Protege

*Penbl* Author: C. Foley          [Jul 4, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: Action/Adventure :: Gay/Lesbian
*Penr* Details: Hello, looking for feedback on my latest short story - an LGBT fantasy tale with a different take on the 'dragons kidnapping princes' tale.
  [Short Story]

Mirstone  (18+)
Yahaira wants to marry for love, not duty. It's time she took charge of her own destiny.
#2127110 by C. Foley

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