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126
126
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Barney Fife goes to investigate the noises coming from the old Price mansion.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the ending. Just when Barney thought he had it figured out...

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Present tense is used mostly, but it is not consistent. I would suggest an edit for tense.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The opening begins with dialogue. Tags are appropriate, but I might suggest an edit for punctuation within the dialogue. Spell out okay in creative writing. "OK" is okay for journalistic writing.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "Broken windows gaped like hollow eye sockets." There's a good economy of words which paint a very succinct picture.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: haunted house.

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Barney

There's enough to understand his motivations. He goes to check out a complaint he has about the house. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. I would also suggest spacing between paragraphs, at least on Writing.com to make it easier on the eyes for the reader.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening piques the reader's interest. Sentence count was listed in accordance with the rules for the Cop Shop Mystery. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature
127
127
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

*Reading* A word search that highlights items you'll find on Writing.com.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

You'll learn a lot about what Writing.com has to offer.

*Star* ENGAGING

The word search kept me engaged. I wanted to solve the puzzle.

*Star*VARIETY

There were enough choices to make the puzzle engaging.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

Other than spicing up the introduction to draw puzzle solvers in, I have no other suggestions. A challenging search!

Reviewed by StephBee for the Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive SEP 2023.
Bee Hive Graphic
128
128
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

*Reading* A nice little word search that celebrated WDC's birthday.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

This was a lot of fun.

*Star* ENGAGING

The word search kept me engaged. I wanted to solve the puzzle.

*Star*VARIETY

There were enough choices to make the puzzle engaging.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

Other than spicing up the introduction to draw puzzle solvers in, I have no other suggestions. I really enjoyed this word search because it was simple and yet challenging, too.

Reviewed by StephBee for the Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive SEP 2023.
Bee Hive Graphic
129
129
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

*Reading* A word search based on words that tell a type of story.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

This is a great word search to learn different type of storytelling.

*Star* ENGAGING

The word search kept me engaged. I wanted to solve the puzzle.

*Star*VARIETY

The word search offered a lot of choices.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

A simple introduction. The title set the tone for the puzzle. I thought the search was a lot of fun.

Reviewed by StephBee for the Best of the Rest @ the Bee Hive, SEP 2023.
Bee Hive Graphic
130
130
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

*Reading* A grammer based word search.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

This is a great way to learn grammar terms.

*Star* ENGAGING

The word search kept me engaged. I wanted to solve the puzzle.

*Star*VARIETY

The word search offered a lot of choices.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The introduction set the tone & expectations for the word search. The word search was challenging.

Reviewed by StephBee for the Best of the Rest @ the Bee Hive, SEP 2023.
Bee Hive Graphic
131
131
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Becca is determined to beat a virtual game.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending and the message the story had to share. There is more to gaming, and even virtual gaming. Life is the ultimate game and there is a world out there to explore beyond a screen.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Becca. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There is no dialogue.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. My constructive suggestion would be make me feel like I'm in the game with Becca. Tap into the five senses. Does the game smell? What is the forest like? Do the birds chirp in the forest? By using a good economy of words, you can write a sentence that taps into one of the senses and put the reader in the game with Becca.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: urban setting?

This is something that is not defined but could be clarified for the reader. By setting the virtual reality game in the near future, this will allow the reader's imagination to take off.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Becca

Becca lives for the game, but soon discovers there's something more. The ending allowing for character growth. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. My constructive suggestion in this area would be to use WDC ML to make the story easier to read for the reader. I would space between each paragraph and maybe consider increasing the font to 3.5 or even changing the font to another type.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening draws the reader in. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.


Glowing Steph
132
132
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE ARTICLE

The article gives a write up/narration of a virtual reality game.
*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I thought the narration touched on several qualities the game would develop such as determination, resilience, and adaptability, which are all admirable qualities to take into real life.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There is no dialogue.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to describe what you should expect from the game as a player.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: futuristic setting


This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

There is no main character, just narration giving an overview of what to expect from the game.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

My constructive parting thought/suggestion would be to slow down and read the rules of a contest and if I had any questions, ask. While the article's (Bard's Hall Contest Entry) narration reads well to entice me to play the game it describes, it's more "telling" than "showing," in that I expected to read a story actually involving a virtual player in a game per the rules of the contest, than a description of a virtual game that a player would play.

Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
133
133
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem about what a person goes through when dealing with negative emotions.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The poem was very succinct and to the point, striking an emotional chord in the reader.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot and spelling mistakes. I have some suggestions for punctuation that might augment the pace and flow of the poem as spoken. For example, as written:

Yet as my stomach became an ocean,
it was cold
chills.

I might suggest:

Yet, as my stomach became an ocean,
it was cold -- chills.

Again, the punctuation speaks to the diction and rythme of the poem spoken out loud and only a suggestion.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mention above. A poignant poem that captures the physicality of emotion.

Reviewed by StephBee in the Sandbox.

A little girl in the sandbox of life. }
134
134
Review of Jack and Claire  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

After a disagreement over their wedding Jack and Claire come to a resolution.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Run, Jack, Run!!

*Star* DIALOGUE

This is a dialogue only prompt and the author did a good job with the prompt.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Jack and Claire

The couple tackled issues that happen every day when it comes to weddings, such as the guest list. It's easy to have a 'row' over the small stuff, which then in turn, becomes big stuff and brings out the true nature of oneself.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The ending was realistic to the story. While the title is appropriate to the story, I might suggest a more engaging one to suck in the reader. Maybe, "Chick is Crazy." Lol! I Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph

135
135
Review of Winning the Vows  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Rick and Chrissy's disagreement leads to a comical role reversal on their wedding day.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the banter between Rick and Chrissy. It felt very natural. The role reversal made me chuckle.

*Star* DIALOGUE

This is a dialogue only contest and the author did a great job with the prompt.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Rick and Chrissy

When Chrissy insists on wearing her own wedding gown and not one passed down from Rick's side of family, Rick feels like he's in a hot spot with only one thing left to do. What I appreciated, is that while there is still a disagreement between them, their love shines through.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling or punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The ending was spot on for the story. The title is reflective of the story. The word count is listed in the post. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Dialogue Contest.

Glowing Steph


136
136
Review of Emilia and Sepet  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Emilia and Sepet discuss their apprehensions about their upcoming wedding.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I thought this was a realistic conversation for a couple to have.

*Star* DIALOGUE

This is a dialogue only contest, and the contest entry blends narration and dialogue. Some of the dialogue sounds a bit stilted when repeating it so I might suggest using contractions to make it more conversational.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Emilia and Sepet

Emilia expresses concern about being a prisoner but Sepet assures her she can visit her family after the wedding. There's a lot of uncertainty expressed by Emilia and Sepet seems to exude confidence.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The premise of the story had a far away fantasy style feel to it. I definitely think it could be expanded into a full story.

Glowing Steph


137
137
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

"Bard's Hall Contest Blog" discusses everyday life with the author.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the posts were concise and to the point. I also liked the conversational style of the posts.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts. I like how the author used with videos and graphics.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was to easy. Good use of WDC ML.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest spicing up the opening a bit more with an introductory paragraph or a graphic to set the tone and mood. I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Glowing Steph
138
138
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

"The Bard's Hall Blog Entries June 2023," shares the author's reflections on life and life's little things.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked how observant the author was. Lots of good description.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a nice variety of posts. I liked the posts about the Butter Tarts and what it's like to learn a foreign language.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

If anything, I might suggest spacing between paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes to read.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The introduction was very succinct. I might also suggest posting a graphic, using WDC ML, or posting a video to set the tone or mood or the Blog. I enjoyed visiting your blog for the Bard's Hall contest. *Smile*

Glowing Steph
139
139
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

"The Bard's Hall Blog Entries for June 2023" shares the author's reflections faith, health challenges and everyday issues.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked heartfelt honesty of the blog.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a nice variety of posts.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. Good use of WDC ML to make it easy on the eyes.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The introduction is short, yet concise. If anything, I might suggest using a graphic to catch attention and set a theme or mood for the blog. I enjoyed visiting your blog for the Bard's Hall contest. *Smile*

Glowing Steph
140
140
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Bibimbap takes inspiration from the Thai -- a bowl of rice and leftovers on the top. Sprinkled in with the rice (author's daily reflections) are responses to comments and heartfelt reflections of the day's issues.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked creativity taken with the blog.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a nice variety of posts. Some discussed the "hot topics" of today, others were personal reflections.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read, and many of the posts had a heartfelt honesty that resonated with this reader.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal. Good use of WDC ML to make reflections, comments, and mussings distinctive and set apart.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The introduction caught my attention with it's short, yet concise approach. I enjoyed visiting your blog for the Bard's Hall contest. *Smile*

Glowing Steph
141
141
for entry "~Daddy's Tree~" 
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A heartfelt poem about Daddy's Tree.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the aged and weathered feel of the picture. It implied growth and maturity

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is haiku with a 5/7/5 syllable structure.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

A wistful, heartfelt poem. The picture & poem match up well.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
142
142
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A fantasy conversation with a bulldog clip trying to talk to an egg cup.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I thought this was very imaginative.

*Star* STRUCTURE

There are 4 rhymed couplets.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* PHOTOGRAPH

The photo uses bulldog clips and a child's egg cup to stir the imagination.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

It's not easy being an egg cup with a spoon inside it's head. The picture is cute, but I felt sad for the egg cup. And maybe that's the takeaway - something that looks ok or cute, or normal, may not be under the surface, but the only way you'll know is if you ask.

Note: This was entered in the Bard's Hall Forum for May, but is not eligible for the official contest.

Reviewed by StephB

Glowing Steph

143
143
Review of Life  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem about circular cycles of nature.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem captured the nature of life that the photograph depicts.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is haiku. A traditional haiku is a poem with 3 lines, and a 5/7/5 syllable scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* PHOTOGRAPH

The photo is one of geese or ducks walking across a path.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The accompanying haiku drew inspiration from the photograph. The circle of life always endures despite the changing seasons of nature. Very poignant and honest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Contest

Glowing Steph

144
144
Review of May Flowers  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Flowers are beautiful way to say "Thank you."

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The photo captures a somber appreciation for those who have served in the military.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is haiku. A traditional haiku is a poem with 3 lines, and a 5/7/5 syllable scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* PHOTOGRAPH

The photo was taken at the Korean War Veterans memorial with several flowered wreaths paying quiet homage to those that have served.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The accompanying haiku drew inspiration from the photograph. I liked how the photo and poem evoked quiet emotion.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Contest

Glowing Steph

145
145
Review of Haiku [180.49]  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem about the distracting power of nature.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I can see where the photo would inspire one to get lost daydreaming.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is haiku. A traditional haiku is a poem with 3 lines, and a 5/7/5 syllable scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* PHOTOGRAPH

The photo is one of flowers against a blue sky.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The accompanying haiku captures the "losing track of time" inspiration of the photograph well. My only suggestion would be to be mindful of the syllable count. The first line has 3 syllables instead of 5.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Contest

Glowing Steph

146
146
Review of Cat  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem about a cat, while undeterred, is thinking of other things.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play; it captured the essence of the cat.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is haiku. A traditional haiku is a poem with 3 lines, and a 5/75 syllable scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* PHOTOGRAPH

The photo is one of a cat in a box looking at something across the room.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The accompanying haiku drew inspiration well from the photograph. The cat seems happy too have conquered the box but is ready to move on. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Contest

Glowing Steph

147
147
Review of Memorial Day  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A hanging flower photograph provides inspiration for lingering melancholy.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play; it deepened the emotional pull of the poem.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is haiku. A traditional haiku is a poem with 3 lines, and a 5/75 syllable scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* PHOTOGRAPH

The photo is one of a hanging flower against a green leaf background that hints at recent rain.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The accompanying haiku drew inspiration well from the photograph. I liked how the haiku tapped into the sadness one can feel losing a loved one. The title, poem, and photograph made a perfect circle of expression. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Contest

Glowing Steph

148
148
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Charlie the Bunny wants to explore but rain is on the way.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved how curious Charlie was. I think kids can definitely connect with Charlie's curiosity.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's no dialogue.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. What did the tulips smell like? You don't need much, just tap into the five senses, smell especially and put me in the moment with Charlie.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern da
PLACE: a meadow

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Charlie

I love how Charlie was willing to explore and thought of Henry. That's the heart of friendship. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I might suggest spacing between paragraphs to make it easier to read on WDC.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word prompts were listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
Glowing Steph

149
149
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

The rain threatens to derail the Easter Bunny's egg hunt.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the message of friendship that the story offers. It's one that young kids can connect with.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. If anything, maybe share the scents of the magical forest.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: forest

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Bunny and Penny Piglet

I love how motivated Bunny and Piglet are to save Easter for the kids. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. A nice story for kids with a heartwarming theme of friendship. Word prompts were listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph

150
150
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

The rain makes Sammy a mopey piglet.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I know what it's like to have a mope on like Sammy. What I find heartwarming, is that when Sammy gets some hope, he gets off the mope. It's a good message for little ones.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I could definitely picture Sammy staring out the window and moping.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: a house and a yard

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Sammy

There's enough here to understand to how Sammy goes from mopey to excited. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. Good character voice. Word prompts were listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph

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