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101
101
Review of Lost In The Flood  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

This review is #2 of a 4 poem port raid from Package 3 from the Bee Hive Honey Pit Raffle.
 
FORUM
Steph Bee's Honey Pit   (E)
APR 2024 - hang out with fellow Bees and enjoy the Honey.
#1474097 by StephBee - House Targaryen


*Reading* THE POEM

The poem speaks to the flood of life and what's like to make it through the waters.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I love the expression and word choices that evoke emotion.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a 16 line poem with every stanza having 4 lines and an ABAB rythme scheme. The rythme scheme allowed for a nice, rhythmic flow.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "I'm sucked back under from a lifetime's strife..." I think we've all been there, when we've had to battle something hard life has thrown at us.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I love how visual the poem is. The reader can easily picture a riptide pulling someone under. The author does a great connecting the emotion to the tide, and then recovering. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephBee for the Bee Hive

Bee Hive Graphic
102
102
Review of Turn From Here  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

This review is #1 of a 4 poem port raid from Package 3 from the Bee Hive Honey Pit Raffle.
 
FORUM
Steph Bee's Honey Pit   (E)
APR 2024 - hang out with fellow Bees and enjoy the Honey.
#1474097 by StephBee - House Targaryen


*Reading* THE POEM

The poem tells a story of a lighthouse keeper and a traumatic night.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the story. I felt like I was there watching everything unfold.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a 20 line poem with every stanza having 4 lines and an AABB rythme scheme. The rythme scheme allowed for a nice, rhythmic flow.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "The bow came crashing hard on the rocks." It's very visual and easy to picture.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Written for a contest, the poem keeps on point with the prompt. Good storytelling. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephBee for the Bee Hive

Bee Hive Graphic
103
103
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CNOTES

*Reading* A collection with Christmas wishes and WDC welcome notes.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the the added Trinket to the notes.

*Star* ENGAGING

I loved the graphics. They were very engaging.

*Star*VARIETY

If anything, I would have loved to have seen a couple more CNotes in the collection.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

A nice introduction. Good use of WDC ML.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.
Bee Hive Graphic
104
104
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE ENTRY

This was a poem about the winter solstice.

*Star* FOLLOWED PROMPT?

Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you. *XO*

Non-fiction story up to 1200 words. *XO*

Place word count with the item. *XO*

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Nice descriptions place me at the feast.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This a free form poem with no rythme scheme.

*Star* THEME

This is a seasonal time where time changes.

*Star* EMOTIONAL BEATS
How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? *Checkr* *Checkr* *Checkr* Great; *CheckR* *CheckR* Good; *Checkr* Okay.

*CheckR* The author taps into hope when talking about looking forward to the light.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem is pretty solid, but this entry doesn't follow the prompt for this month's Bard's Hall Prompt, which is memoir writing about a cherished gift.

Glowing Steph
105
105
Review of A Cherished Gift  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE MEMOIR

A Puppet holds cherished memories.

*Star* FOLLOWED PROMPT?

Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you. *CheckR*

Non-fiction story up to 1200 words. *CheckR*

Place word count with the item. *CheckR*

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Tone of voice was full of reverence.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* THEME

What resonated with me was dealing with loss and how a puppet can draw on happy memories even though Enid had passed away.

*Star* EMOTIONAL BEATS
How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? *Checkr* *Checkr* *Checkr* Great; *CheckR* *CheckR* Good; *Checkr* Okay.

*CheckR* *Checkr* The author's respect and reverence shines through, but I might suggest a tad more introspection regarding Enid.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader. The writing is honest and sincere. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
106
106
for entry "A caring gift" 
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. My review is on "A caring gift."

*Reading* THE MEMOIR

Santosh reached out to his mom, and the promise of family proved a balm to her long suffering.

*Star* FOLLOWED PROMPT?

Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you. *CheckR*

Non-fiction story up to 1200 words. *CheckR*

Place word count with the item. *CheckR*

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Nice character voice. I think the story is one that the reader can emphasize with.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* THEME

What resonates with me is making tough choices and the power of love of family.

*Star* EMOTIONAL BEATS
How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? *Checkr* *Checkr* *Checkr* Great; *CheckR* *CheckR* Good; *Checkr* Okay.

*CheckR* *Checkr* The author shares struggles and challenges and what she did to overcome them.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader. The writing is heartfelt and sincere. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
107
107
Review of A Cherished Gift  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE MEMOIR

A young man turns around his life with a unexpected gift at Christmas.

*Star* FOLLOWED PROMPT?

Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you. *CheckR*

Non-fiction story up to 1200 words. *CheckR*

Place word count with the item. *CheckR*

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

The used a very engaging character voice.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* THEME

As a reader, I resonated with overcoming adversity. It's never easy when you're in your early 20's and sometimes it's easy to make the wrong choice.

*Star* EMOTIONAL BEATS
How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? *Checkr* *Checkr* *Checkr* Great; *CheckR* *CheckR* Good; *Checkr* Okay.

*CheckR* *Checkr* The author's heartfelt memories speak to choices we all have to make.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws the reader in. The writing is honest and sincere. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
108
108
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE MEMOIR

Seaman Frances has been demoted, but he's the only one who can solve the problem. What will it cost him?

*Star* FOLLOWED PROMPT?

Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you. *CheckR*

Non-fiction story up to 1200 words. *CheckR*

Place word count with the item.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. It was uplifting.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Seaman Frances. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* THEME

There's a lot of themes here - hard work, leadership, determination. All of it can lead to something positive in life.


*Star* EMOTIONAL BEATS
How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? *Checkr* *Checkr* *Checkr* Great; *CheckR* *CheckR* Good; *Checkr* Okay.

*CheckR* *Checkr* It's an emotionally inspiring story.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation and capitalization. I would also suggest that the author increase the font on the story, as it's hard to read. Also, I would space between the paragraphs.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening catches the reader's attention. The writing is forthright and honest. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
109
109
Review of What's In A Gift?  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE MEMOIR

Mum died and didn't leave much behind except an old, used pie dish.

*Star* FOLLOWED PROMPT?

Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you. *CheckR*

Non-fiction story up to 1200 words. *CheckR*

Place word count with the item. *CheckR*

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Nice character voice. It drew me right into the story.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* THEME

I think there's a double message here, dealing with loss and poverty - and sometimes the everyday, ordinary things are the things that resonate with us. For me, I'll always fondly remember the pot that Aunt Mary and I used to make pierogis in during Christmas.

*Star* EMOTIONAL BEATS
How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? *Checkr* *Checkr* *Checkr* Great; *CheckR* *CheckR* Good; *Checkr* Okay.

*CheckR* *Checkr* *Checkr* The author's emotional memories around an aluminum pie dish resonate with readers.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader. The writing is wistful and sincere. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
110
110
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE MEMOIR

A young girl learns a life lesson at Christmas time.

*Star* FOLLOWED PROMPT?

Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you. *CheckR*

Non-fiction story up to 1200 words. *CheckR*

Place word count with the item. *CheckR*

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Great character voice. It drew me right into the story.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* THEME

For me, I picked out the theme of life lesson. A young 9 year old receives the gift she asked for, but it wasn't what she expected. Her reaction and the consequences teach her a lesson that will resonate throughout her life.

*Star* EMOTIONAL BEATS
How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? *Checkr* *Checkr* *Checkr* Great; *CheckR* *CheckR* Good; *Checkr* Okay.

*CheckR* *Checkr* *Checkr* The author drew a picture of a how a child learned the lesson of humility.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader. The reaction to her gift is one we all can relate to. The writing is candid, honest, and sincere. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
111
111
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE VINYETTE

Inspired by a quote from Henry Rollins, the author goes a quest during November to fill in the hours with meaning.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the author's voice. It was very honest and candid.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.
*Star* TENSE

Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

A endearing vinyette about finding yourself during NaNoWriMo. The title fits the vinyette well. Nice expression.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph


112
112
Review of Rescue  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Inspired by a quote from Emily Dickinson, the reader finds Amelia wrapped up in her writing, when Spunky interrupts the mood.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The character of Amelia took on an Emily Dickinson-like quality, as inspired by the quote.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a nice blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

*Star* TENSE

Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "I welcome any distraction from my heart's chilly gloom."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

A heartwarming vinyette where a dog draws Amelia out of her world to help another. The title fits the story. Good use of the quote.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph


113
113
Review of November...  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Inspired by a quote from Emily Dickinson, Amelia takes November and finds that nature, the mood, and the lights inspire her writing.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The character of Amelia took on an Emily Dickinson-like quality.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "one chilly evening, as the sun dipped before the horizon, casting the sky in shades of crimson and gold."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I like the idea of using November as a muse. It's a dark, long, chilly month.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph


114
114
Review of I am Thankful  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry David Thoreau, the poem addresses the harvest of thoughts that can be found on the WDC community.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the creativity of the poem.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "where half baked words are overly spiced..."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The quote discusses a harvest of thought and the author draws on all the options you can find on WDC to harvest thoughts while painting a thanksgiving meal which is perfect for November.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph


115
115
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Alphonse Karr, the author explores a thorn with a rose.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the inspiration message of the poem.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Roses have thorns, a warning given;"

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem uses a good economy of words to stir the reader's thought as they flip the illusion on it's end - why does a thorn have a rose? The use of alliteration with "One doesn't have one without the other," is in the perfect place to give the reader pause before the ending's message.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph


116
116
Review of Bus Stop  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Alphonse Karr, Winter's thorn will bring sweet heat at the Bus Stop.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem progressed from cold to heat and ended on a warm note, much like the quote from Karr.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There are 3 lines in each stanza. There is no rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "fingers of frothy wetness crawl along my body."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem uses a good economy of words. I enjoyed how the poem told a simple story, yet it was layered with cold thorns which melt away at the end. Nice visuals.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph


117
117
Review of Thorns  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Alphonse Karr, Rose laughs and gloats, but there is a thorn on that flower. What could it be?

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the easy flow of the poem.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. The 2nd and 4th lines of the stanza rythmes.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "laughing, gloating, cackling Rose,"

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The flow is light and easy; the thorn is stated with the last line. The poem resonates due to the catchy flow and begs the reader to consider if there's more than just bad prose to consider.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph


118
118
Review of When In Rome  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CROSSWORD

*Reading* This crossword tests your knowledge on Rome and Italy.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I thought the crossword was very interesting.

*Star* ENGAGING

The crossword offers a lot of choices. Some questions were easy, some were harder, but nothing a search engine couldn't help you out with.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of variety in the questions.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the crossword, if doable. A good first attempt!


Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive .
Bee Hive Graphic
119
119
Review of UK Universities  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CROSSWORD

*Reading* This crossword challenges the taker's knowledge on universities in the UK.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I thought the crossword was challenging, but nothing you couldn't complete with a little help from a search engine.

*Star* ENGAGING

There are a lot of clues to sift through.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the crossword, if doable. I thought the crossword was a lot of challenging.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.
Bee Hive Graphic
120
120
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

At the dawn of time, Zub, the Caveman, learns how to make clothes. One day he gets a big order - make something for the new king, Mog. Yikes! He's got nothing that fits! What's a caveman to do?

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. Zub solves his problem using what he has and starts a tradition that has lastest centuries.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscent. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a small blend of dialogue and narration. My only suggestion here is to indent the dialogue and make it it's own paragraph.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: dawn of time
PLACE: caveman world

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Zub

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's gotta hustle to come up with something special for the new king. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. An enjoyable read that flows well with interesting characters.

This review is submitted to Steph's Bee Hive Group
Bee Hive Graphic
121
121
Review of Halloween C-Notes  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. Thanks for your patience with me, as I'm just recovering from vacation!

THE CNOTE

*Reading* Halloween CNotes offer a unique set of Halloween theme notes.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I thought both notes offered a nice appeal to different viewers.

*Star* ENGAGING

The CNotes are appropriate to the season. The introduction sets the mood with a nice quote that sums up the season.

*Star*VARIETY

There were only 2 choices. I'd love to see the collection expanded.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I thought the cNotes were spot on for the Halloween season. 1 was whimsical and one was spooky. The notes were affordability priced for the community.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.
Bee Hive Graphic }
122
122
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CNOTE

*Reading* Sharmelle's Halloween Expressions are a fun set of CNotes to pass around during the fall season.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the whismical cNotes. They made me smile.

*Star* ENGAGING

CNotes entices the viewer to pass out a few with their whimsical, "feel good" vibes. The introduction is simple and straightforward.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of choices.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I thought the cNotes were a lot of fun. Most cNotes are priced at 787 GP's which I thought were affordable for the community.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.
Bee Hive Graphic }
123
123
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Blackwood Manor lingers on the outskirts of a rural town, harboring secrets to explore.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. It was nice closure on the haunting of the mansion.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's no dialogue.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set mood and tone of the story. I especially liked: "they were met with a clammy, musty oder that filled their nostrils."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: Part 1 is 50 years before part 2
PLACE: rural setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Henry and James

The characters are likable. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I would check the paragraph that starts with "Their Flashlights spread sinister..." there is miscoded WDC ML at the end of the paragraph -- ./linespace}.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

#1 - I wasn't sure how part 1 worked into part 2, unless Henry was one of the group of the youthful friends that were curious and explored the house. If that was the case, I would make that a bit more "clearer" in part 2. #2 - The prompt items were used, but I felt they were a bit forced into the story. I might have Henry linger on them and evoke memories? to make it feel more natural. (suggestion only) Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was not listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph

124
124
Review of Grandpa  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Grandpa comes to visit his grandkids on Halloween while their parents step out for the night.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author weaved in the prompt items. I thought it was a v natural fit.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. I might suggest an edit for past tense. Past tense is mixed with present tense on occasion. I would suggest being consistent and using past tense throughout.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set mood and tone of the story.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Grandpa and the grandkids.

The boys are bit apprehensive being left alone but Grandpa comes along and eases their nervousness. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph

125
125
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

What is causing the flickering lights at the old Price mansion?

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

There's plenty of suspects, and each has a motive.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscent. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's no dialogue.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: haunted house.

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

There's an ensemble cast, each with their own intentions. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening piques the reader's interest. I thought the ending brought all the clues together well. Sentence count was listed in accordance with the rules with the Cop Shop Mystery. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

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