*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://p15.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sgcardin/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
Review Requests: ON
3,942 Public Reviews Given
4,155 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 6 7 8 9 -10- 11 12 13 14 15 ... Next
226
226
Review of Epistle to Cupid  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2022. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

*PointRight* Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
*PointRight* Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
*PointRight* Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
*PointRight*This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2022! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
*PointRight* Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

*PointRight* A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

*Reading* THE POEM

The author really wants Cupid to cease and desist.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: BAD. Cupid missed and it the narrator's gut. It did him no favors.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no rhythm scheme.
.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

An intentionally bad slam. Cupid needs to lay off the belches and farts.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2022 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.
227
227
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A husband says the wrong thing which motivates his wife to the extreme.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

We've all been there. Our spouse says something and we just are motived to do the oppose. In that regard the story is very relatable.

*Star* POV NARRATION

This is told in the first person by the wife.

*Star*DIALOGUE

There's only one line, but it sets the tone for the tone.

*Star*1ST 3 PARAGRAPHS

The author uses a conversational style of writing which hooks the reader immediately.


*Star*CHARACTERS

The wife and husband
When a women gets motivated, watch out. Nothing can stop her.

*Star*SETTING

A home, just like yours and mine.


*Star*MECHANICS & SOUND

There were no uneven or choppy sentences. I did not notice and spelling/puncutation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

A great flash fiction which taps into emotion well.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Contest, JAN 2022.
228
228
Review of The Full House  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem about a Full House of stuff that needs to go.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

This poem really connected with me because I have a house full stuff of like that, too. It's hard to throw out most of it due to sentimental reasons.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with the 2nd and 4th line of the stanza rythming.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions for improvement. Good expression! The poem flows very smoothly and speaks to the reader in a very conversational tone. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB in the Sandbox

Glowing Steph }
229
229
Review of Red Nuts Roasting  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE PARODY

*Reading* A couple has a bad Christmas due to working out at the gym. A parody sung to "The Christmas song."

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

The title lured me in!

*Star* ENGAGING

The parody is very engaging, though I felt bad for the couple.

*Star*VARIETY

Definitely a different take on the song!

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

A good take on the prompt! I thought it did a decent job holding the musical tune of the song. Well Done!

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall DEC 2021 Contest.
Glowing Steph }
230
230
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE PARODY

*Reading* A family tries to move on, sung to the tune of "Baby, it's Cold outside."

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the back-and-forth between the dad and child.

*Star* ENGAGING

The parody is very engaging. I wanted to keep singing to find out what happens.

*Star*VARIETY

Good variety in song topic.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good job with WDC ML.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

A good take on the prompt! I thought it did a decent job holding the musical tune of the song. Well Done!

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall DEC 2021 Contest.
Glowing Steph }
231
231
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE PARODY

*Reading* A Baseball team has to manage it's money during a winter break, sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland."

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Very creative! Appealing to any baseball fan.

*Star* ENGAGING

The parody is very engaging. I wanted to keep singing to find out what happens. Will they keep the overpaid pitcher.

*Star*VARIETY

Good variety in song topic.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

A good take on the prompt! I thought it did a decent job holding the musical tune of the song. Well Done!

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall DEC 2021 Contest.
Glowing Steph }
232
232
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE PARODY

*Reading* Shopping is a Christmas must, sung to the tune of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas."

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I definitely connected. When's January getting here. Gotta return the junk to the store!

*Star* ENGAGING

The parody is very engaging. I wanted to keep singing to find out what happens.

*Star*VARIETY

I enjoyed how it tackled Christmas shopping and spending.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

A good take on the prompt! I thought it did a decent job holding the musical tune of the song. Well Done!

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall DEC 2021 Contest.
Glowing Steph }
233
233
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE PARODY

*Reading* Who doesn't get a headache at one point during the Christmas season? A parody sung to the tune of "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the originally and creativity of the parody!

*Star* ENGAGING

The parody is very engaging. I wanted to keep singing to find out what happens. Aspirin anyone? None to be found.

*Star*VARIETY

I loved the variety in the topic tackled.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

A good take on the prompt! I thought it did a decent job holding the musical tune of the song.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall DEC 2021 Contest.
Glowing Steph }
234
234
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE PARODY

*Reading* Driving isn't easy when it's winter, sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland."

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I could see it unfolding as I sung it.

*Star* ENGAGING

The parody is very engaging. I wanted to keep singing to find out what happens. Thank goodness for Tow trucks!

*Star*VARIETY

I loved how it took a look at the challenges of winter.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

A good take on the prompt! I thought it did a good job holding the musical tune of the song. Well Done!

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall DEC 2021 Contest.

Glowing Steph }
235
235
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Mr. Varma wants to build an apartment building on haunted land.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. Mr. Varma grew a lot from the start to the end.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

Good use of dialogue to drive the story.



*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

The descriptions were enough to set the scenes in my mind. I might suggest a few stragetic sentences that tap into smell and taste to heighten the fright.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting near a rural setting?

This is something that is clarified for the story.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Mr. Varna
There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's the character most affected by the ghosts and he's the one who goes through the most change. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a period after the first sentence: "When the wind wailed."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Great ending! The story built the mystery well. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
236
236
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Ben is at a cabin retreat to catch up on his writing, but a blizzard strikes.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the opening. Good, solid descriptions really put me in the moment.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Ben. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There is some dialogue which accents the narration.

MY SUGGESTION: I pointed casually toward the living room. "It's over there, you know."

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

Nice use of the five scenes to heighten Ben's fright. I especially liked: "The blizzard raged to a screaming wail that made me gasp in surprise."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Ben
There's enough here to understand his motivations. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Great ending! The story built the suspense and mystery well. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
237
237
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Sheriff O'Leary buckles down and goes on the hunt to find the Bardstown Bus.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Great ending! Founder's Day is still going on strong.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscent. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

Good descriptions considering the 21 sentence limitation!

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Sheriff O'Leary

O'Leary is a hero as he hunts down the bus. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws the reader into the story. I counted 23 sentences and saw the story was edited on 1 OCT which did not meet the rules for the Cop Shop Contest.

Glowing Steph
238
238
Review of Cop Shop Mystery  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Ralph got lost driving the Bardstown Bus.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Great ending! The Band got to where they were going.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscent. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

Good descriptions considering the 21 sentence limitation!

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Ralph

Ralph gets distracted and causes a fuss. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws the reader into the story. Sentence count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Cop Shop contest.

Glowing Steph
239
239
Review of Left in the Dust  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Sheriff O'Leary is on the hunt to find the missing Bardstown Bus.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Great visuals! I could see Smith doing the NASCAR driver thing.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscent. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

Good descriptions considering the 21 sentence limitation!

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Sheriff O'Leary

You can't keep a good, determined man down! *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws the reader into the story. Sentence count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Cop Shop contest.

Glowing Steph
240
240
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Mr. Brewers is determined to prove Dr. Whoa-ha's a fraud.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. Nice turn of the tables.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Mr. Brewers. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags were used appropriately. The dialogue drives the narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the 5 senses. I would really love to know what the train smelled like.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: industrial age
PLACE: Train

This is something that is clarified enough for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Mr. Brewers

His motivation becomes apparent toward the end. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The story captured the essence of a steampunk story. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph

241
241
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CNOTES

*Reading* I visited Puppet Master's C-Note Emporium.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the nature theme. My favorite notes where the Dolphins and the Lighthouse.

*Star* ENGAGING

All the Notes were heartwarming. I liked the focus on nature.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a nice variety of cnotes. They were uplifting, inspirational, and positive.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might expand the introduction a bit more.
Overall, nice presentation. I like that notes were affordable.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall July 2021 Cnote Contest.
Glowing Steph
242
242
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CNOTES

*Reading* I visited Lilli's All Occasion C-Notes.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the whismical feel to the notes. My favorites were the flowers and the fingers.

*Star* ENGAGING

All the Notes were heartwarming.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a nice variety of cnotes. They were uplifting, inspirational, and positive.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

Good introduction.
Overall, nice presentation. I like that notes were affordable.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall July 2021 Cnote Contest.
Glowing Steph
243
243
Review of Dragon Daughter  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Dragon Daughter engages the reader using poetry and topical conversations.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the poems. They were succicent and engaging. I especially liked the line in Golden Sin: "Sour wine fills that chalice."

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts. I liked the post about recycling. Very comprehensive.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. There was a nice conversational tone to the posts.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

Nice graphic in the intro to set the mood/tone of the blog. I enjoyed visiting your blog for the Bard's Hall 2021 Blogging Contest. *Smile*

Glowing Steph
244
244
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Connecting with Jeannie engages the reader discussing life, family and topical political conversations.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author was candid and heartfelt with every post.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts. Some were about life, family and others discussed the "hot topics" of today.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. There was a nice, conversational style.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more graphics, (I did like the one with the bird) and links for a visual appeal. I enjoyed visiting your blog for the Bard's Hall 2021 Blogging Contest. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB
245
245
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Day to Day Happenings in my Life engages the reader by touching on life as it's passing by and topical conversations.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the length of the entries. They were just the right size. Not too long, not short, and always left me with nugget.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts. They discussed life, family, and topics of the day.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. I liked the conversational tone.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more graphics, and links for a visual appeal. I enjoyed visiting your blog for the 2021 Bard's Hall Blogging Contest. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB
246
246
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Spiral Bound Jounal is a blog that features fictional writing.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the creativity in the entries.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to dive and discover the characters.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts, including topical themes and how today's world looks at them.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal. I especially liked how each entry was uniquely presented using WDC ML.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB for the 2021 Bard's Hall Blogging Contest.
247
247
Review of Matters of Heart  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Lady Elizabeth hires a physical therapist to help her with her spinal problem.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I thought the story offered a nice twist with the heroine being a physical therapist. It's not something I usually see with the genre. I thought the hero was spot on!

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Ann. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I might suggest a minor edit for dialogue tags. Only use "he said or she said" to identify the speaker. Use an "action" tag when speaking. For example, as written: "Thank you with the arrangements," he said warmly, taking her hand. A wave of joy washed over her.

My suggestion: "Thank you with the arrangements." Clayton wrapped his warm hand around Ann's. Her heart raced.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the 5 senses, smell and touch to put the reader into the scene. The use of flowers and meaning would do well here.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: the past
PLACE: England

This is something that could be a tad more clarified for the reader. Is it the Regency period or perhaps the Victorican era?

*Star* CHARACTERS

Ann

There's enough here to understand her motivations. She's very warmhearted and giving, perfect traits for her line of work. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. My other suggestion concerns voice. "Liz" is a much more modern way to say "Elizabeth," and it was slightly jaring for me as a reader, as it would take me out of the time period. I might suggest using "Elizabeth," or "Beth," but after Lady Elizabeth gave permission. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph

248
248
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*PaintBrush* THE PHOTO

The photo displays a sunset over water.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem is a nice compliment to the picture, tapping into hidden stories/people and inspiring the reader to remember them.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the picture evokes memories of the past.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a haiku which does not follow a 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I would suggest tightening up the poem to reflect a 5-7-5 traditional syllable pattern of a haiku. I love how the picture and poem compliment each other and inspire the reader to go deeper into the meaning. The poem/picture evoke a sense of peace. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest!

Reviewed by StephB
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

249
249
Review of Antheraea  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*PaintBrush* THE PHOTO

The photo is a moth against a ruler.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem is a nice compliment to the disturbing picture, as it explains how the moth got there and evokes the immediate feelings of the viewer.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

This picture invoked an instant reaction from me. "eewww." It's a very powerful picture that says "look at me."

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a haiku which follows the 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The picture grabs your attention and the poem adds depth. Well done. The poem/picture evokes emotional disgust and well, I think we'd all be freaked out seeing that moth. I also like how the title, which is strange, (it's the name of the moth) plays right into the dynamic of the picture and poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest!

Reviewed by StephB
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

250
250
Review of Fyn Wave  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*PaintBrush* THE PHOTO

The photo shows a whole showing off it's flipper.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem is a nice compliment to the playful picture, evoking a sense of reverence and respect as the whale says "hello."

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The concept and the lighthearted word play. I enjoyed the sense of awe the author invoked with the words.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a haiku which follows the 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. I love how the picture and poem compliment each other. The poem/picture evoke good vibes with a lighthearted beat. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest!

Reviewed by StephB
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

1,318 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 53 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://p15.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sgcardin/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10