Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
An invocation of sadness and pity.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
6 quatrains of a-b-a-b. Structure and format package this poem. Each stanza opens with "Nine years" and all rhymes, except one (final stanza "miss/kiss"), are identical rhymes. An interesting structure. Primarily logaoedic trimeter

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Generally matter-of-fact, though I did like the "tadpole" metaphor.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS


SUGGESTIONS
Line 9 and Line 18 are too long and impair flow.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
A peaceful termination of a couple that grew apart in their daily lives.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse with rhyme.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
A sort of dialogue from the author to a previous mate. A constante theme of the relationship's worth is supported by a repeated tercet.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
Third stanza needs a vouple of periods.

SUGGESTIONS
No suggestions.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
This title caught my eye and I really enjoyed following you through this whimsical adventure. I had to audibly chuckle at the ending.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
The four Quatrains of iambic tetrameter with a-a-b-b rhyme really supported the playful nature of the content. It's actually one of my favorite formats.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
The vivid imagery really brings the reader into the poem. My favorite was "I soon recalled the old wives tale of fairy gold, bright in a pail."

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
Small punctuation error "wives" is possessive "wives'"

SUGGESTIONS
No suggestions needed. Don't change a word.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
A summary of a full spent life

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
4 rhyming couplets in logaoedic tetrameter

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Some nice metaphors used.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS


SUGGESTIONS
Line 3 is a hard read in tetrameter and is more easily read in pentameter this impacts the initial flow.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
I may be confused but as I read it my perception is that it is quite vain. This is really based on the opening a closing couplets that outlines that the remainder of the content is denied the potential value of me. I may be reading incorrectly and it may be intended as "denied to me" but that is not the sense I get as written.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
6 rhyming couplets of primarily iambic tetrameter with both masculin and feminine endings.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
I actually see strength in the repetitive "I see" as well as the repetition essentially of the first and last couplet.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
A period at the end of the fifth couplet.

SUGGESTIONS
The line "I see mysel rushing, unhesitating" is too long and interupts flow. Dropping "rushing" would correct this. The rhyme in the fifth couplet "I see what waits our love to conceive" appears a little forced.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
I really enjoyed this read. It suggests that to some extent we attempt to appears as we perceive others will find acceptable. If we do this effectively for long enough we are in danger of losing who we really are. Though apparently lost, from time to time, our real self emerges - perhaps to our dismay. But generally, this remains unperceived by others. Only we know the truth about ourself.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
2 quatrains and a closing line - all rhyming as promised.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Primarily allegory of the mask

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
Found no error

SUGGESTIONS
The flow was difficult, and at least for me, had to be an acquired taste after several reads. But I love the poem.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
This one struck a note of humor for me.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Some interesting metaphors, my favorite was "and let the honey drip from your mouth.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
No error noted.

SUGGESTIONS
Line 4 the redundancy of stop cease confused me maybe one or the other should be selected.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
I like this poem it read more smoothly.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
5 rhyming couplets in iambic tetrameter and a closing rhyming couplet in iambic trimeter.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Light and airy

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
No error found.

SUGGESTIONS
Line 2 of the second couplet has an extra sylable that impairs flow slightly, you could drop "my" and it would read more smoothly.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
This would be a nice valentine card.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
3 Quatrain of a-b-c-b. The meter is ver loose ranging from trimeter to pentameter.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Light and airy

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
No error noted

SUGGESTIONS
The repitition of know in the first two lines is unnecessay i would suggest something similar to "Unaware that you complete me, more than you will ever know"

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
This is an interesting read that bemourns the man who is not succesful as an individual and becomes a by product of civilization.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Very good imagery

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
Line 9 "is is" probably "he is"

SUGGESTIONS
No other suggestion

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
These are grievous words on patriotism spoken to one who has made an ultimate sacrifice, and bemourns that the view is not worth the climb.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
A powerful voice of regretful recognition.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
I see no error or transposition.

SUGGESTIONS
No suggestions

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
This is a beautiful poem that sings of harmony's needs.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
This poem contains some great mataphors.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
Some issues here. Line 2 "holding" is better as "holds" Line 14 "Become" should be "Becomes" Line 20 "talk" is better "talks at" Line 21 "Is" should be "It's" and Line 24 "hole" should be "whole"

SUGGESTIONS
Aside from grammar or spelling no need for change. I love it.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
The sad hazards of playing while driving.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Very matter-of-fact

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
line 4 "desperation" Line13 "swerving" Line 14 "sees"

SUGGESTIONS
Just correct the spelling.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
This portrays that ignorance is bliss and if you are unaware of something then you won't miss it.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
3 trimeter quatrains of a-b-c-b rhyme

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Generally on the surface.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
No errors noted.

SUGGESTIONS
No suggestions.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
a range of emotional possibilities within dreams, in a very short space.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
a blend of potential tenses with interesting poetic device.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
generally incomplete sentence structure.

SUGGESTIONS
No suggestions.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
Deeply emotional, and I am truly sorry for your loss. Positive thoughts sent to you.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
A sestet of Haiku. While this is a bit unusual, the inate beauty associated with haiku reinforces the emotion contained here.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Excellent metaphors that lay the poet's heart open on the page, delivering more thatn any audience can rightfully expect.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
No errors noted.

SUGGESTIONS
Please don't change a word - I am humbled.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
This piece emotes both the sadness of leaving home and the hope of new adventure.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Eight rhyming couplets formatted as one stanza, with a somewhat free meter.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Some very nice imagery is used to reinforce the message.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
This could use sdome punctuation.

SUGGESTIONS
No further suggestions.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
An interesting piece and an enjoyable read.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse, in rhyming couplets - very unique.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Very good imagery

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
I think some commas within some of the lines can improve the flow.

SUGGESTIONS
No other suggestions.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
The repitition is very interesting and I really like the leading repition in the last line of each stanza, but I am not sure what the meassage is.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
3 quatrains of a-b-c-c Strict meter - the first two lines iambic dimeter, and the second two line iambic pentameter.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Very symbolic.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
I think you need a comma at the end of each stanza's third line.

SUGGESTIONS
The message need to be clearer.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
For me this is very touching. I'm not Canadian, but the poppy was used during WWII by members of a fraternal organization to which I belong as a form of identification, an hold very much the same values.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Simple ye powerful.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
No errors found.

SUGGESTIONS
None needed.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam
Image #1772253 over display limit. -?-

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
A beautiful blend of Nature's spring with a couples autumn.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
The 3rd person presentation allow the reader to look in and observe the similarities of both the spring and autumn coexisting. Nice imagery.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
No errors noted.

SUGGESTIONS
No suggestion.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
The highly animated beginning that settles into calmness reinforces the intent of the piece. I really liked that affect demonstrated.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse, although I don't know if it was intended to be "Concrete Poetry" because the form visually looks very much to me like a dragon's head.

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Encellent use of poetic devices.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
Line 8 typo "clam" to "calm" also same line "pricing" to "piercing"

SUGGESTIONS
A great read, no other suggestions.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

OVERALL IMPRESSION and EMOTIONAL IMPACT
This piece shares a view that peers the function of the water cooler in the office, to the town square within the town. It's a place where various groups gather for social interaction.

FORM, FORMAT, RHYME and METER
Free verse

ARTISTIC VOICE and IMAGERY
Very wordy and, at least for me, a difficult read (60 words in a sentence is alot to absorb). Conceptually diverse. Very descriptive but lacked imagery.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING and MECHANICS
I did not see any errors.

SUGGESTIONS
I would have liked to see the people or heard their voices.

Thank you for sharing your poem. WRITE ON!!
Liam