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Review Requests: ON
360 Public Reviews Given
373 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to emphasize the positive attributes of your work, but I will offer suggestions for improvement if I'm able.
I'm good at...
Recognizing poetic devices and fiuguratve expression.
Favorite Genres
I'm open to all genres but am particulary fond of social or cultural complaints.
Favorite Item Types
I prefer structured forms of poetry to free verse but review either.
I will not review...
I only review single poetic works - not collections.
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of Bog Spring  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Turtle ~ KanyáthƐko:wa:h ,

I just finished reading your poem,"Bog Spring"  as part of the Poetry Package that you won in the auction.

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This is a wonderful poem, a portrait of Nature’s transition during that time when winter has not quite left and spring has not fully arrived. The imagery is masterful and includes excellent examples of visual, auditory, tactile and even a suggestion of olfactory. It is vivid and realistic, and held my observation tightly in its grasp – a quite enjoyable experience.

The title and description are appropriate and start the reader’s expectations correctly for the setting they are about to observe.

*Pencil* SUGGESTIONS:
This poem really doesn’t require any suggestions to be improved as it is already a very effective and enjoyable read. So comments here are not intended as suggested changes – only as examples of alternative style and as such don’t really impact the rating as written.

Stanza one: “The stiff corn-gold stalks of last years cat tails” could also be written as “Deep gold, the stiff stalks of last years cat tails”. This accents the visual imagery and strengthens the alliterative sounds of line one.

Stanza two line three “as his left leg bends up” may be a little more sonorous as “As his left leg lifts up”

*CoffeeB* POETIC DEVICES:
In addition to the tremendous use of imagery, this poem uses alliteration and consonance extremely well. And includes some nice samples of assonance, metaphor and onomatopoeia.

*Heart* WHAT I LIKED BEST:
My favorite line by far is “The snow upon the bog is rotting” What a unique selection of word usage that presents such a vivid image.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Thank you for sharing this poem,
Liam
27
27
Review of Uncle's Scar  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jali~mostly on hiatus ,

I just finished reading your poem,"Uncle's Scar"  for "Gang's Monthly Review Board" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This is a cute, entertaining little poem. It tell the story abou how the poet's great great uncle (apparently a dairy farmer) came by a very noticeable scar on his cheek. It is a quite humerous story.

The poem is written in predominately in dimeter with an (a-b-c-b) rhyme scheme, and the prevalence of three syllable feet (generally anapestic) couple with a good mix of masculine and feminine lines makes the flow very bouncy and upbeat. This supports the theme and content in an excellent manner.

It's relly a most enjoyable read.

*Pencil* SUGGESTIONS:
The most obvious reccomendation that needs to be suggested relates to format. This poem should definitely be formatted in quatrains, As opposed to one long verse, ten stanzas - will make the divisions of content more manageable and obvious to the reader.

In a couple of lines, the rhyme seemed a little forced. "That line to trace?" and "Of getting this done"

*CoffeeB* POETIC DEVICES:
The greatest focus on device centers on meter and rhyme, though there is some good imagery as well as occasional use of alliteration.

*Heart* WHAT I LIKED BEST:
My favorite stanza is the fith stanza (lines seventeen thru twenty) "He led her to town To look for a buyer But none could be found Which raised Uncle's ire."

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star*

Thank you for sharing, keep on writing,
Liam

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28
Review of Knock Knock  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Angus ,

After reading "Knock Knock"  I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
This is a unique story. For some reason, it reminds me of the times my mother would tell me, "Don't play with your food!" I also enjoyed how the dialogue is all one sided, except for conversation with Seumas. It establishes Angus firmly as a character very similar to "Gollum" in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. This supported his role very well.

*Heart* What I Like:
The other thing that I liked was how you verbalized the "hypnotic trance" imposed on the victim, which was quite a surprise - when I realized it was ME - the reader. Very nice job on this story plot!

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*


Thank you for sharing, and Keep on Writing!
Liam

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29
29
Review of Green Eyes  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi London Rush ,

I just finished reading your poem,"Green Eyes"  for "Gang's Monthly Review Board" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
The Sonnet is one of my favorite forms of structured poetry - and of the varieties available - I love the Shakespearean most of all. This one is a poem about infatuation and it fills the reader with a youthful exuberance and a hopeful promise of romance.

The meter, iambic pentameter, and rhyme (abab-cdcd-efef-gg)are flawlessly executed and all rhymes are exact. This provides for a flow is both predictable and very smooth. Structurally - very strong. Great Work!

The content is very unassuming, almost to yhe point a being whimsical, making it a genuine pleasure to read. This poem maded me smile from the beinning through the end.

*Pencil* SUGGESTIONS:
The only suggestion for change is the punctuation "..." at the close of the poem. It implies a continuing improbable continuance and detracts from the conclusion of the poem.

*CoffeeB* POETIC DEVICES:
This poem overflow with powerfull visual imagery that is written in lines tha contain very good examples of consonance and assonance. My favorite example of consonace occurs in the phrase "green-eyed girl" which appears in the opening, line - and then again in the closing line. I also really enjoyed the alliteration "We whispered not a word of darker themes,".

*Heart* WHAT I LIKED BEST:
My favorite lines occur as the closing rhyming couplet, "She disappeared as swiftly as she came, A green-eyed girl for whom I have noname...".

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Thank you for sharing,
Liam

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30
Review of Dormancy  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Maya ,

I just finished reading your poem,"Dormancy"  for "Gang's Monthly Review Board" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This is a very interesting perspective - it makes me feel like you really don't like getting up in the morning. I hope you feel better after a shower or a cup of coffee.

Written in six tercets of free verse, this poem emotes the dawn of a new day as an experience of displeasure - bordering on disgust. While personally, I think any day is generally a good day, I think this poet did an excellent job of painting the portrait of a difficult morning.

Word selection and cohesive thoughts are superb and support the poem well.

*Pencil* SUGGESTIONS:
This poem is solid and needs no suggestions

*CoffeeB* POETIC DEVICES:
Though the lines are short, they do contain some very good consonance, assonace, several alliterations and even an end-rhyme treat. Nicely done!

*Heart* WHAT I LIKED BEST:
The opening tercet is very powerful and sets the stage well for all that follows. The picture of the "day descending" as opposed to rising is a brilliant play on words that encourages al subsequent content.


*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Well written,thank you for sharing,
Liam

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31
Review of Unexpected  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi whisperingwind5 .

After visiting "Unexpected"  I have the following comments to offer:

This poem really touched me. I liked the title, "Unexpected" is an interesting bit of irony to reference someone who is "expecting". This is furthered by the mention of the half empty versus half full glass.

I would encourage you to consider, at those times, that the glass is neither half full nor half empty. Oftentimes, it is simply that the glass is "too darn big" and if it were a little small - it would be full.

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading your poetry.

Have a great day,
Liam

WdC Power Reviewer's Group
32
32
Review by Liam
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Cath the Purple Unicorn

I am pleased to offer you this review on your "Cath's Quotation Place"  as a judge for the "Invalid Item" . Please know these are just my thoughts and observations on your piece, and you may take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

*Pencil* Followed the contests rules and/or prompts given:
Your entry followed all of the contest rules.

*Pencil* What I liked:
This was a very interesting application of the In & Out module. Basically a "tell me what this qoutation means to you". The thing that I liked the most was the little surprise contained in the submission process that allowed each participant to incude an item of work in their submittal. This added a very unique twist that made reading the content extra sprecial.

*Pencil* Punctuation/Spelling:
Just one observance "This is a In & Out." should be "This is an In & Out."

*Pencil* Favorite Lines:
I liked the quotation that you selected "The World has Lost Its Collective Mind", but my favorite part - as stated above - was the ability for the participants to add a little more personality to the In & Out. Great Job!

*Pencil* Comments/Suggestions:

While I thought you did very well incorporating Writing ML into the structure, it seem to have an abundance of negative space that was a little distracting. I would remove some of the space between lines to condense the appearance a little.

Thank you for sharing your writing with me, and good luck in the contest ~ *Bigsmile*


I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again. ~William Penn

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33
33
Review of The Lighthouse  
Review by Liam
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Escape Theory ,

I just finished reading your poem,"The Lighthouse" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
This is an interesting concept for a poem. Written in a single stanza of free verse, it uses human qualities to describe the solitary nature of an abandoned lighthouse. It is a little difficult, for me to relate to the abandonment in these terms.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
There is an inconsistency with the pronouns used to refer to the lighthouse in lines two through five (it versus he/his). You should choose one or the other and maintain consistency. My preference would be it/its because it adds strength to the personification that you've used as poetic devices.

This type of content begs for some visual and perhaps auditory imagery that would draw the reader more into the content.

*CoffeeB* Poetic Devices:
Mainly personification.

*Heart* What I Like:
There is a genuine expression of the potentil loneliness of eternity in the absence of useful interaction. This is why I found the content very interesting.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star*

Thank you for sharing,
Liam

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34
34
Review of Love's Touch  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*I am a Rockin' Review Student*

Hi 🌷 Carol St.Ann 🌷 ,

I just finished reading your poem,"Love's Touch" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
I have loved this poem ever since I read it in the Hearthstone Manor. I envy your strength at writing such wonderful and meaningful monorhyme - that is no easy task. But the real beauty of this poem, at least for me, is how eloquently you pluck at the heartstrings of the reader.

This is a poem of genuine passion that will open the nostrils of even the most ardent disenchanted individual.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
It is beyond me to constructively improve on this piece.

*CoffeeB* Poetic Devices:
The hero here is the powerful imagery - visual, tactile, as well as that nameless sixth sense that we share but can't define.

*Heart* What I Like:
I really could just rewrite each stanza in this section

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*
Only on rare occasions do I presume to alter the rating ceiling to 5 1/2 stars. This is one of those moments.

Beautiflly written, thank you for sharing,
Liam

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35
Review of The Bubble  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*I am a Rockin' Review Student*

Hi Jimbo ,

I just finished reading your poem,"The Bubble" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
The poet paints an very interestic charicature of an reclusive individual (possibly wounded in life by a a relationship) that makes emotions dance somewhere between pity and humor. It's really quite a tease. Written in five rhyming couplets, the flow was a little difficult for me to read aloud, but is none-the-less enjoyable because of the strengthy of the content.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
I think having a little more consistency in the meter between the couplets would help the flow.

*CoffeeB* Poetic Devices:
Some real good consonance and assonace as well as an interesting visual comaparison throughout between sitting idley and hiding from life.

*Heart* What I Like:
I think my favorite line is the comic relief provided by "But loving turns into bickering and it's just not worth the pain." as well as, "pay me a visit for a spat."

A nice job with a difficult topic.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star*

Thank you for sharing,
Liam

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36
Review of Toes  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*I am a Rockin' Review Student*

Hi G.A. Blythe ,

I just finished reading your poem,"Toes" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
This is a very playful poem written in five quatrains of free verse. For me, it brings fond rememberance of childlike interactions in a secluded mountain stream.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
Stanza two and three cause me a little confusion created by the diversity of the imagery. While all of these are potentially viable, to have them all present at a single spot forces a bit of plot manipulation. It's a happy poem that makes me smile.

*CoffeeB* Poetic Devices:
Tremendously powerful imagery that includes visual, tactile and perhaps auditory (with the splashing droplets). Some alliteration, consonace and assonance, as well as refrain and personification.

*Heart* What I Like:
I like the playful visual imagery throughout the poem, ceaseless from beginning to end.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Thank you for sharing,
Liam

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37
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*I am a Rockin' Review Student*

Hi Magoo ,

I just finished reading your poem,"She Loved the Birds" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
This is a beautiful poem. It is flawlessly executed and the flow is perfected. I have always loved this meter, whether formated as here - or a strict iambic heptameter. The content contains tinges of both joy and sadness in a well balanced story of a full life that causes me to reminsce of the mother figurehead.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
No suggesteions for improvement.

*CoffeeB* Poetic Devices:
Powerful visual imagery, good alliteration and consonance, with some pleasing metaphors.

*Heart* What I Like:
I really have two favorite lines. "Her feeble hands were wrinkle wrought yet gripped the needles well." and "The love she shared is still close by and found in every nest."

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Beautifully written, thank you for sharing,
Liam

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Review of BLANK  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*I am a Rockin' Review Student*

Hi Itchy Water~fictionandverse ,

I just finished reading your poem,"BLANK" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
This is one of those mixed emotions kind of poems. I know that I should be sad or frustrated - but at the same time - I realize it is both comical and even potentially hopeful. I think overall the content speaks well to the confusion of the empty page.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
I have faith in you... to fill the page.

*CoffeeB* Poetic Devices:
Extremely good use of personification.

*Heart* What I Like:
I like the powerful way this confusion is stated - my favorite, I think, is "Mocking me through a solid air."

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Thank you for sharing,
Liam

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Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*I am a Rockin' Review Student*

Hi Jeff ,

I just finished reading your poem,"Baking Aspirations" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
The content of this poem is both whimsical and comical, and as such is a prime candidate for a limerick (the stated format). I love the content.

For me though, this poem falls short with respect to the whimsical flow of a limerick. I does follow the rhyme scheme perfectly and the number of syllables per line is accurate, but the combined selection of metrical feet does not support a whimsical flow. And if you impose the whimsical flow, the content and rhyme appear forced.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
This flow issue is evidence in line one, "There once was a baker from Vermont," If I read it as anapestic trimeter it forces mispronunciation of the word "baker". If I read it with a leading iamb it forces mispronuciation of "Vermont"

*CoffeeB* Poetic Devices:
Meter is a poetic device that needs to be observed, particularly with defined poetic forms. Sometimes it is not enough to "just count syllables"

This poem does use good visual imagery. I can picture a baker, complete with high hat, struggling to sculpt his cakes so high, only to find he can't fit the in his vehicle for delivery. Quite humorous.

*Heart* What I Like:
My favorite part of this poem is the funny imagery.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star*

Thank you for sharing,
Liam

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Review of FRED AND COCO  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*I am a Rockin' Review Student*

Hi ~WhoMe???~ ,

I just finished reading your poem,"FRED AND COCO" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
I am not generally a big fan of acrostic poetry because more often than not it appears to be forced for the sake of accomplishing the acrostic. I was delightfully surprised, and fortunate, that I decided to read this offering.

The content flows immaculately and provides a revealing portrait of the relationship between Fred and Coco, as well as the poet's feelings for both.

I found myself drawn into this piece by its excellent use of imagery, as I stood there chuckling at their comedic antics.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
This poem is flawlessly executed and requires no suggestions.

*CoffeeB* Poetic Devices:
This poem is full to the brim with imagery. My favorite is "Coco, the frantic overlord of toys."

*Heart* What I Like:
The thing that I liked best about this work is the simplistic presentation of content in a form of such required complexity. Truly a masterpiece.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Thank you for sharing,
Liam

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41
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*I am a Rockin' Review Student*

Hi ~WhoMe???~ ,

I just finished reading your poem,"Is There A Balance" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
As a tetractys, this poem is mechanically flawless. It successfully poses a very profound circumstance that I find both interesting and relevant.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
One of the most challenging aspects of such a poetic form as the Tetractys is to be able to incorporate some extraordinary poetic devices in a poem of a mere twenty syllables. The place that offers the best opportunity to accomplish this is Line Five which affords ten syllables. Perhaps, in this case, something like a personification may fit the bill, "Rest cannot outrun this puzzling quest."

*CoffeeB* Poetic Devices:
While the structure is sound, the content is stated in a rather matter-of-fact manner.

*Heart* What I Like:
This poem is a great and profound truth that we all face. I really enjoyed the comparison of daily rest to that inevitable great sleep.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Thank you for sharing,
Liam

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Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi 🌷 Carol St.Ann 🌷 ,

I just finished reading your poem,"Dalinda Pink, Angel Fae" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
Well, you won my heart right away when I saw you were writing a tribute to the wee ones. Being Irish, I know they still visit, I've met them meself don't ya know! I always enjoy poetry about fairies and the such, and this was no exception.

The meter that you selected was very whimsical and supported well your content. And your rhyme scheme and end line rhymes were very consistently on the mark.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
This poem really needs no suggestions, but I will comment that a few lines (Stanza 2/line 3, Stanza 3/line 3, and Stanza 3/line 6) are an acquired taste to read effectively. It's not just the additional syllable (I don't count syllables) but the changes in stress that are noticieble. That being said, once you've read the poem a couple times the flow continues well - uninterrupted.

*CoffeeB* Poetic Devices:
In addition to the rhyme and meter, there is some great visual imagery, alliterations and metaphors in use here.

*Heart* What I Like:
My favorite part of the poem is the comedic input of stanza 2. I thought that this added a great perspective to the poem and really helped advance the content. What a great touch

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
Though this poem required no rating, since I include it in the format of my review I'll share my opinion with you.

A very enjoble poem, thank you for sharing it,
Liam

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Review of Questions!  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi ,

I just finished reading your poem,"Questions!" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
I really enjoyed reading this poem because by its nature it forces the reader to ask these questions of himself, so this is a great exercise in introspection.

It's easily read in the format of rhyming couplets and the flow that relates to rhythm is very good.

I struggle a little with the content flow because some of the couplets appear contradictary, sometimes internally and sometimes with other couplets. This inevitably interrupts the flow of the read and promotes additional contemplation to occur.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
From a personal perspective, I thought so may "Why" questions interfere with the poetry, and that it would be more effective to restate many of the questions in another for. One example of what I mean could be like Line four "Why do I seek my escape?" This could be restated as "What must I do to escape?" The rhyme and meter are consistent, but the flow is dramatically enhanced.

*CoffeeB* Poetic Devices:
The greatest presence of poetic device is the use of rhyme and meter. Beyond that, most of the questions as stated in a "matter of fact" many and there's not a noticeable metaphorical posture.

*Heart* What I Like:
I think the strength of this poem lies is a very effective use of meter and rhyme, and the choice of couplets for the form.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star*

Thank you for sharing,
Liam

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Review of Our Fatal Flaw  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Able .

After reading "Our Fatal Flaw"  I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
This is an intriguing sonnet. The meter and rhyme scheme are consistent of a Shakespearean Sonnet. The flow is very good.

The content projects the decline, if not the elimination of the human species.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
I would prefer to see the sonnet formatted in three quatrains and a closing couplet. Also six lines begin with "the" suggesting its use is primarily a filler to maintain the iambic pentameter.

I had some confusion about the fate of humans. The first two lines imply extinction, but lines nine and ten would suggest that is not the case - else from where does the science spawn and who is redeemed. And of course line fourteen repoints to extinction.

*CoffeeB* Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
The tense spans across past, present and future and the voice is both 1st person and 3rd person.

*Heart* What I Like:
What I liked the best was the structure of the content of the third stanza (lines nine through twelve). The focus of redeem, re-mend (not certain of this word) and repaid is a perfect lead into the penance of line twelve.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star*

I enjoyed reading and contemplating this poem. Write on,
Liam

** Image ID #1798477 Unavailable **
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Review of The Lake  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Lindsey .

After reading "The Lake"  I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
I love this poem. It speaks to a zest for life above the mere reality of existence. The poet gives us the rare treat of baring her soul in a composition of finely crafted metaphors and vivid imagery, that speaks to both the celebration as well as desparation, both with equal pleasure.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
There is no suggestions needed here.

*CoffeeB* Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
No errors noted - excellent work.

*Heart* What I Like:
My favorite line by far "and I peer with delight upon it." The word selection of "peer" is ecstatic - suggesting not only that the poet looks intently upon the lake - but also exists on a level of equality with the lake. A beautifully inspirational line of poetry.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Thank you for such an enjoyable read, write on,
Liam

** Image ID #1798477 Unavailable **
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Review of Who Could I Be?  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sara M. Motawi .

After reading "Who Could I Be?"  I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
This is a beautiful poem that let's the reader see into the desires of the poet and how she struggles with her daily existence and grows to become who she is.

The flow is good and easy to read almost immediately. And there are some very good metaphors contained in the poem, as well as some good imagery.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
The task of the poet is to say something that is very ordinary - but say it in a way that is extra ordinary. This is done well in places - but I would like to see more of it.

*CoffeeB* Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
Usually, numbers should be spelled out "3" should be "three" with some exceptions like dates.

*Heart* What I Like:
Like I said, there are some very strong metaphors. My favorite line is "All my dreams walked away from me". This is a powerful use of personification. I also really like the line "Sometimes I feel like I have no back to hold me when I fall"

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Write on,
Liam

WdC Power Reviewer's Group
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Review of Stake Deal  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Newbie to Newbie review.*

Hi Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ ,

I just finished reading your poem,"Stake Deal" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
I had never been aware of this poetic form before reading this example. So I was really happy to have the experience.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
No suggestion needed - execution is flawless.

*CoffeeB* Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
No errors here.

*Heart* What I Like:
I like that you extended your poetic prowess by seeking to understand and produce this petic form.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Thank you for sharing,
Liam

For my Review Template
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Review of This is My Cry  
Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Newbie to Newbie review.*

Hi F. Garcia ,

I just finished reading your poem,"This is My Cry" 
I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.


*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
I enjoyed reading this poem and I commend the poet for tackling such a controversial yet necessary issue. The format is 5 quatrains of nonrhyming verse.

The opening metaphor is very powerful both as a literal read as well as a deeper connotative statement. It efficiently introduces the reader to the poem's focus by planting their feet firmly on the issue. This is an excellent opening line.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
I would suggest changing the "Medical" genre to "Cultural" to properly reflect the poem's content and focus.

Most of my suggestions fall into the area of grammar and punctuation, so you will find those listed in the next section.

*CoffeeB* Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
Line 2 of stanza 1 is grammatically incorrect. As written, it implies the thought that there is no tomorrow. If the intent is a disregard to what tomorrow may bring, it should be rewritten as "Carelessy no thought of tomorrow"

There is a second grammatical concern in line 3 of stanza 5, "Let not an angel walk in its hell-like road". The problem is the possevie pronoun "its". The way this is written suggests that the hell-like road belongs to the angel. I suspect that the intention is the hell-like road belongs to the world. In order to correct this, you must bring the "world" closer to "its hell-like road" than the relative position of "angel" to "its hell-like world". This can be accomplished easily by combining it with either line 2 or line 4 and reorganizing the content.

It appears that punctuation is intentionally ommitted from this poem. I would suggest that with the complexity of the content, it should be included to help separate ideas, as well as to enhance the fluidity of the read.

*Heart* What I Like:
Please do not be discouraged by the suggestions that I've offered. In truth, I absolutely love the poem. This poem needed to be written and it was written very well by you. That's why I focused a little more time to try and suggest some areas that you may revisit to add potential strength to your thoughts.

By the way, I really admired how you reinforced the value of family resposibility with the lines " 'cause making a family is not a game of numbers or sizes or fame". This is by far, my favorite part of the poem.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Thank you for sharing this poem,
Liam

For my Review Template
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Review by Liam
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Newbie to Newbie Review*

Hi breshke ,

After reading "Gnodab--not badong"  I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit.

*Yinyang* Overall Impression:
This is an interesting story about adolescent rivalry and peer ranking embodied in the theme of "king of the pogo stick". It was fun to read, written in the first person, and is full of child-like narrative. The title is a real hook, though ultimately it is incorrect, and I will comment further on this in the suggestions portion of this review.

*Paragraph* Opening Paragraph:
The thing I like about the opening paragraph is that the action of the story starts immediately. On it's own, counting aloud wouldn't normally spur my interest, but since I was hooked by the title to continue, this worked okay.

*Pool* Conflict:
The conflict is somewhat multifaceted. On the surface, there is a clear battle between Jack and Sally for the pogo stick championship. Just below the surface, and justified by the first person write, Jack strives to balance his position with his peers. The title suggests that conflict of note is Jack's internal confrontation with seeking revenge.

*Quill* Character Development:
There is very little development of the physical attributes of the characters and though there is some suggested age relationship it is not very specific.

In my opinion, this is an area of missed opportunity. There is an undeveloped relationship between Jack and Beth which could be a valued part of the story. But more importantly, there is a relationship between Sally and Jack that should be defined more clearly because her influence over Jack's ultimate behavior choices is very great.

*Hourglass* Exposition/Complication/Transition:
The use of the miniture Beth and Sally on Jack's shoulders worked very well to increase the tension and move the plot forward to a climax. The use of sibling rivalry to embody the good/bad, desireable/undesireable, Beth/Sally relationship was very effective.

*Radioactive* Climax:
Mini-Sally's taunts against Jack's self esteem ultimately seduce him to plot and carry out his revenge by bombarding her with mudpies.

*ThumbsUp* Resolution:
Jack appears to be satisfied with his decision and commits to punish Sally further by establishing a new pogo stick record.

*Pencil* Suggestions:
I thought that the title was inconsitent with the outcome of the story. Jack's father had already pointed out his guidance to good and bad - so it is pre defined. I think a ore consistent title would be "Badong--not gnobad"

I believe this story needs a little bit more descriptive text. The setting where all of this takes place is entirely nonexistent. Whether this event is happening in the city or in a neighborhood type of an environment, or similar scene revealment will add to the reader involvement. Knowing if it is in the middle of a long hot summer and this is the hottest day of the year, would add to the excitement of Jack's thirsty search for revenge against his nemesis Sally, and provide ample opportunities for the reader to gain further insight to the actions of both characters.

*CoffeeB* Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
The only comment I have here is relative to the overuse of exclamation points. Nearly every narrative of Sally contains them.

*Heart* What I Like:
I think my favorite part was the desciptive text where Jack contemplates how to meter justice - gum in the hair, bugs in her dress, etc... I can actually visualize those thoughts going through this young boy's head.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star*


I enjoyed reading this thank you for sharing it,
Liam

For my Review Template
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Review by Liam
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Itchy Water~fictionandverse .

After visiting "A Poem A Day Contest "  I have the following comments to offer:

Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion.

*Yinyang* Overall Presentation:
This has an excellent layout with great use of graphics, color, and emoticons. Also very good use of the entire page, that is left aligned versis center copu.

*Pencil* Rules/Expectation Defined:
Rules, Ranking and Rewards are clearly defined and easily understood.

*CoffeeB* Mechanics:
This contest follows typically used input method for items and works well.

*Heart* Personal taste/opinion:
Just a personal preference, if a contest is "prompt" driven, I like to see that in the body of the page, not in the submission area. This avoids the need to search for it.

*NoteG* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

One of my favorite contests,
Liam

WdC Power Reviewer's Group
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