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Review Requests: ON
3,530 Public Reviews Given
4,107 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look at the title, premise, overall structure first. Then I see how it makes me feel. After that, I might comment on little errors which are easily fixed.
I'm good at...
Hmm. Well you'd have to ask the one being reviewed what that be.
Favorite Genres
Paranormal, spy/detective, sci-fi, romantic suspense (hey I'm female and entitled). documentary, psychological and more.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything too gorey depending on how it's done. I don't need every little detail.
Favorite Item Types
First tell me what an item type is. haha
Least Favorite Item Types
An item has to make sense even if it uses fantasy ideas.
I will not review...
I don't like where some writer crammed six long chapters into one item area. I also don't like it if the paragraphs are so long you lose your place reading it. If you don't want me to lose interest and give up, break it up into sections and link it to the next exciting chapters. Nobody wants to sit through a detailed story for hours without a break.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 8 9 10 11 -12- 13 14 15 16 17 ... Next
276
276
Review of Losing you  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi write on,

This poem is truly a sad storeum of a lost love, yet there still is a yearning remaining for at least one.
Of all the things I have miss(ed) in life, not(h)ing can compare then (with) the thought of just losing you.


* There were parts that was a bit obscure.
Here:
know praying for hope can accomplish great worth(,) but the cruelty of sins only guarantees a living death.

* the above sounds like regret. Praying definitely helps, but without action things can grow stagnant.

*Bulletp* A voice of dreadful history can serve
no purpose to an ear that does not want to hear anymore.

* Are you sure she doesn't want to hear?

I feel the frustration. It's as if the person feels stuck and can't see to move through this one way or another. It sounds like change needs to happen so neither has to live in misery.

What I liked most about this is the expression of hurt, sadness, but the unrequited love. Yet this one loves regardless. Many people can relate to that for one reason or another.

Most people eventually change either by breaking it off and returning to whatever brought them happiness they had before, but some hold on for many years. Life is meant to be shared with a mutual long lasting love.

I'm giving this 4 stars mainly because of the expression. It has errors but those can be easily fixed. If you revise it, lete know.

Thanks for the read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
277
277
Review of Losing you  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi write on,

This poem is truly a sad storeum of a lost love, yet there still is a yearning remaining for at least one.

* There were parts that was a bit obscure.
Here:
know praying for hope can accomplish great worth(,) but the cruelty of sins only guarantees a living death.

* the above sounds like regret. Praying definitely helps, but without action things can grow stagnant.

*Bulletp* A voice of dreadful history can serve
no purpose to an ear that does not want to hear anymore.

* Are you sure she doesn't want to hear?

I feel the frustration. It's as if the person feels stuck and can't see to move through this one way or another. It sounds like change needs to happen so neither has to live in misery.

What I liked most about this is the expression of hurt, sadness, but the unrequited love. Many people can relate to that for one reason or another.

Most people eventually change either by breaking it off and returning to whatever brought them happiness they had before, but some hold on for many years. Life is meant to be shared with a mutual long lasting love.

Thanks for the read.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
278
278
Review of Cooper  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello write on,

I noticed this in your port and I'm here to read and review. Please use what you wish of what I shared and ignore the rest. It is your story to tell.

*Pencil*

roam thrashing in too (into the) remaining (maybe--rapidly instead of remaining) declining daylight.

*Bulletp* clearly such a eventful evening when Cooper(,) the old blood hound(,) decided without thought

*Bulletp* Do you hear old Cooper(?) Look(!)
Can't you see his flashing nose light out there?"

(I'm not sure what a nose light is. Maybe Cooper had on one of those flashing dig collars on.)

*Bulletp* There were several places that needed commas.

But also I felt there were many areas using two descriptive words for one thing. It's okay unless you do this too often. Try using one word part of the time to describe whatever it is.

For example--into the rapidly declining daylight could be (into the twilight). as it says more with one word.

*Bulletp* also you spelled (folklore) as fork lore a few times.

As we saw Cooper explore the area then return to a familiar place. We also saw a beginning, middle, and end to your stoy.

*Idea* With just a few touches this will be a even better story.

Thank you for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
279
279
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Queen Owl,

I thought I might drop by your portfolio to see if I might find something to read and review. This one caught my eye.

First, I'd like to say the formatting looks good with appropriate line spacing between paragraphs.

The sentence length and rythm makes it easy for anyone to read and understand

The premise is a real one and one that anybody can relate to.

*Pencil* There were a few errors or areas I thought might need revision.

Here:
At this point, I refused to give them my SS# and I was arguing with the (M)anager in my refusal. I have heard enough about (I)dentity (T)hief (I think you meant identity theft. Uncapped)

There's a lot of places where words were capitalsed but used the way it is should be uncapped.

I just wanted to say that Dean Winchester is a character in the tv series Supernatural.

I get scams often usually it's somebody sounding like they're native language is of India. Somehow they'd gotten my phone number when I had a computer (more than likely through Google).

At first I thought it was a joke but they kept calling a out it having 32 viruses.

When I wouldn't let them have access they started threatening me saying I would be arrested. And somebody was coming to my home right now.

I tried shaming them, I tried telling them I have no computer.

Finally, I told them I'd report them to the authorities. I even thought about buying a whistle for when they call to blow into the phone. I didn't though. No way we're they going to scam me out of money.

I heard these people are not even in the usa so it's harder to prosecute them. They work as a group.

To this day I still get people sending me text messages trying to give me money or send a package and even their spelling sucks. So you can tell they are t legit. I delete and ignore them. They use another number and I block it. It never stops. The best we can do is be aware of these information thieves. And not give them anything they can use against us.

That being said your shared experience reveals these tricksters.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
280
280
Review of Seven things  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Sinbad

I just read your item.
This is excellent and can apply to just about anyone.

It's not always easy to stay strong but we can also accept that we are imperfectly perfect.

I wish I could print this out but have no way to do that.

Just today someone was talking about a relative that had said b why me?

And blamed others for thier dilemma.

As for your item there are no errors and it's perfect the way it is.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
281
281
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Norman

I just found this item in your portfolio.

The title fits.
The premise works well and is inspiring, and
your rhyming is just right.
Format looks good also.
This has a beginning, middle. and end.

*Pencil* There is nothing to change in this. It's perfect as is.

Other comments: I really loved this little story within a poem. I like how unexpected things occur yet might be a miracle.

Thank you for sharing.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
282
282
Review of Don't Trust Cupid  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Forever Dreamer This looks good on the page and I didn't see any errors. You have some good rhyming going on

This is something most people can relate to as at one time or a other we get burned.
I hate it when that happens.

Thanks for the read.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
283
283
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Dragonfly

I'm glad you put this up on your port. Sometimes our impromptu efforts are really nice lyrics written.

I really like this
little story.

I did find an area that might need editing.

Thoughts of the Moon became all consuming for the Sun to a point it (could) hold (its this love) inside any longer......

I have found two.


I think you meant--to a point it could not hold its love inside any longer

It's something which is easily fixed.

It was fun to read.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
284
284
Review of Frogs and toads.  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Rich,

This was very cleverly done in telling this tale.
I didn't see any problems in it.

Good read. Thank you.

Just how big is the ?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
285
285
Review of First Date  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello again,


Just noticed this little item in your portfolio.

I got a giggle out of this. I'm sure it's a thought that passes through many dad's minds, yet fleeting.


There is nothing I would change about this.
Done well. Thanks for sharing.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
286
286
for entry "Summertime cooler
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Soldier Mike,

This item is unique. I like how cleverly you created it.
You even have the straw.

It tells us all we need to know.

Nicely done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
287
287
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello marvelous Friend,

I found this item in your portfolio.

This certainly shows the pleight many if us have of trying to lose weight and all those tempting things are don't at the store. Whatever you do--do not go to the store when you're hungry. I've done that before but my basket was full of tasty things. But not always healthy ones.

The item has good rhyme, as we progresss along.

*Pencil*. This needs to be broken up into stanzas then sperated each one with a linespace. It will be more readable.

Thanks for sharing.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
288
288
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello River, I just noticed this little story in your port.

What a cute story it is. We see Sir Trevor on patrol, ever watchful for intruders and those creatures outside.

We got some nice imagery in this.
*Pencil* A few things caught my eye- black and white creature that smelled. Without naming it we knew what that was. Good job

The deer with big hooves made sense too but I never knew they ate seeds.

Here I noticed what I think you meant to write-

*Pencil* Although I aband(on)ed my post,


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
289
289
Review of THE PET  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Rich,

I happened by your port and found this item.
Wow, this is quite the tale. Ana was well taken care of. LOL and a variety of meals.or shoukd I say males?

Nice format and paragraphing.

No errors that I can see. Perfect just as is.

Well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
290
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Review of Gunter  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beholden,

Okay, I'm still looking around in your port. I hope you don't mind.

I like this one as we see the pup on your doorstep. A defenceless little puppy. That would be hard to resist, yet you know you must do something for the poor little thing.

Good thinking. Although your dad got tricked sort of, he ended up with a sweet little dog. They do have the same coloring, markings, and body types, yet not the size and weight.

I like that it had a happy ending.

Thanks for the read. I will probably stop by now and then in car you have new items or some I've not read.

I hope you don't mind.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
291
291
Review of Jimmy's Last Job  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello again,

Here's another one. Wow these characters seem to have an interesting day of it. Certainly not tea time but they've chosen their own unique adventure (for lack of better terms).

And got a surprise of their own.

Interesting read with a twist at the end.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
292
292
Review of Fairy Nuff  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Beholden,

I saw you respond to something on the newsfeed and decided to take a look at your portfolio. I'm not sorry I did. So far I found this little gem.

I like the premise as we take this journey through the fair quite.unusual names but I see it's part of the world building.

Although I didn't find this too scary I did pay more attention after Fairy Nuff mentioned his future, yet was obscure about it. It sets in motion that something is going to happen and might not be such fun.

I kind of thought maybe somehow the fortune teller might offer him something to drink and that might cause a change. Where he sprouts wings but that's just my thought.

Only you know how you'd like it to read.

{E;pencil} The dialogue in this was done well. I love dialogue and this was just enough The imagery used enhances the setting and mood.
And the Formattingg looks good.

I don't see anything that needs editing.

Other Comments:
Although not quite the same thing, it kind of reminds me of the way the Alfred Hitchcock hour use to have some scenarios where you're not quite sure what's going to happen.

I could imagine a series of these in a book or even on the tv screen.

We wonder how this man is fairing (pardon the pun. Haha). I wonder how he might pass that favorvon to another unsuspecting fair foer.

Please realise anything to offer here is merely my thoughts and ultimately it's up to you what you like.

The story is fine the way it is.
Thank you for sharing.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
293
293
Review of Nocturnal  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello katwoman45,

This poem tells a story of shared togetherness, yet at some point the one person is missing and missed. There is sweet memories but also a longing.

*Pencil* Good format in this item. There were no errors that I could see.
Expressive with well chosen words.

I especially liked this part

The cat would curl in between us,
purring passionately and
stretching his grey-striped limbs,
making sure that all four paws
touched us both, connecting us,
like a timid child does
with angry, bitter parents.

Other comments: my little dog tunnels under my covers to sleep and she's usually itching some part of me too.its comforting for her , yet if I'm sleeping I'm not noticing it but surely my body senses it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
294
294
Review of LAW OF THE GUN  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Monty,.

I saw you comment on news feed and decided to look at your portfolio and found "LAW OF THE GUN [13+].

As I read this story in a poem it made me think of a certain song. I think the time The Devil went Down to Georgia. I kept hearing the guys voice in my head using your words.

This could be a movie theme song. All that's missing is the refrain.

Anyway this was perfect. I didn't see anything needing editing. It has a nice rythym and is concise.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
295
295
Review of Whither Faith  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello I just read your item in your portfolio.

I can say Hurrah. I totally get this. Thank you for articulating what I also feel is true.

I like how you made you point in words that anyone can understand.

It allows the reader his or her own choice to decide whatever "is". Regardless of whatever each of us thinks, we don't know for sure or maybe we've just not remembering all there is.

Either way we will find out someday. This believing, we are content as well as we van possibly be, yet still aware of the possibilities.

*Pencil* There is nothing that needs fixing. It's perfect as is

Good read!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
296
296
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh Mike,

This was funny. I got a good laugh out of it.

I didn't see any errors or other problems.
Thanjs for sharing this.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Backlash  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Loren

I just saw this item in your portfolio and took a closer look.

There's several things going in here as we see these young people interacting.


I did see a sense of humor in it.
This was a part that added some humor..
My teacher has big red lips, big red heels, a short red dress, and auburn hair. Her name is Mrs. Barner. Figures, she’s as red as one.

This isn't bad since you had written it in 5th grade. You could always print the original then have an edited copy if you wanted to.
Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
298
298
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again Z. Shams,

Once again I found an item in your port.

This was fun to read and soon I realised it had rhyming words. I could not tell at first though as it's all one paragraph.

My favorite part was:

I've been extra-large, plus. I'm known as a very large fellow. I would easily pass as a school district bus
If somebody painted me yellow."

I would break this up into either stanzas or paragraphs with a line space between each section.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
299
299
Review of Questions  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Z Shams

I found this item in your portfolio and thought I'd take a closer look.
I see some places where words are capitalized and shouldn't be.
The item asks questions about things many people might not think about, yet some do.

I see the word Footnote and numbers at the bottom, but there's nothing there. I do t know if your forgot it Im missing something.

You might want to edit this. Thanks for sharing


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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300
Review of Close Enough  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi,. Just noticed this is in your port.

It looks like a good start to your story. Formatting and paragraphs looks good.

That time of having to say goodbye can be stressful for sure.
I saw nothing needing editing.
Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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