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Review Requests: ON
3,514 Public Reviews Given
4,091 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look at the title, premise, overall structure first. Then I see how it makes me feel. After that, I might comment on little errors which are easily fixed.
I'm good at...
Hmm. Well you'd have to ask the one being reviewed what that be.
Favorite Genres
Paranormal, spy/detective, sci-fi, romantic suspense (hey I'm female and entitled). documentary, psychological and more.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything too gorey depending on how it's done. I don't need every little detail.
Favorite Item Types
First tell me what an item type is. haha
Least Favorite Item Types
An item has to make sense even if it uses fantasy ideas.
I will not review...
I don't like where some writer crammed six long chapters into one item area. I also don't like it if the paragraphs are so long you lose your place reading it. If you don't want me to lose interest and give up, break it up into sections and link it to the next exciting chapters. Nobody wants to sit through a detailed story for hours without a break.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Shaman's Trance  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again, maximus,

Here is yet another piece if your work of maybre it's your final edited version.

O see what you were trying to accomplish plush, but to be honest I almost gave up because I had no idea anything was below the huge white space.

I did find it.

*Idea* My suggestion would be to shorten the length of the spacing, otherwise many readers might visit your portfolio, and think it was an error with a blank page.

I can see you're a very deep thinker.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Insert title here  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Maximus,

I happened upon your portfolio and found this item and I'm here to read and review it.

This had no title and I read your piece a few tines to find which words fit this piece as far as a title.

I sense that this piece is deeper in thought that many might not ully understand, yet it's not because of anything you've done.
It's okay though, because at some point others will totally get your message when they are ready.

* Here's my suggestions for the title name:

Awaken

Or even:
Awaken with your Eyes Wide Open.

Thought provoking writing. Th as nk you fir sharing.

OTHER COMMENTS:The last portion of your piece says it all.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Humble Poet,

I was looking in your portfolio and found this piece.

Title: It is appropriate for the content of this story and poem.

Premise: An unexpected thoughful gift, however seemingly small,
means so much, and is delightfully accepted and appreciated.

These kinds of things is what makes being human a better place to live.

And it doesn't end there.

* What I Liked: I like that you included the poem you created inspired by her thoughtfulness.

* It's expressed well and in simple well-thought-out words.

* I saw no errors in this item. It's perfect the way it is.

Thanks for sharing. Write On.

Comments: I totally understand how this could happen. I, too, on occasion, get inspired when I least expect it. I can't rest until it's done. And only with a few tweaks it's ready to be seen.














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of My Life  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello strlcuckoo,

You requested a review on this item. I had reviewed it beforee, but maybe you added to it ir edited it.

TITLE: My Life seems appropriate for this piece.

Premise: My life shows how changes in life helps us understand and form new and posibly better ideas ir recognise which are correct.

Often we feel we know how things will go, but find out too late that it isn't so.

*Idea* I would put a line space between each stanza to make it easier to red.

It might have also been nice to see examples of and when these changes happened.

Other than that I saw no problem.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello. I just read your item [item:2314439]. I'm hear now to review it.

TITLE: it seems appropriate.

PREMISE: Young neighborhood boys become friends, although they are of different race. There is no issue. Yet the parents is yet another story. The boys don't really consider it a problem.

At some point, things change in the other boys home. The household has a new man in it and hes not as nice as those kid's father was, which causes problems between the boys.

Andre seems uoset about something Don did. The boys end up disagreeing about something. When Don finds out he not only reprimands the nieghbor kid, but hits him hard enough to cause his nose to bleed.


As young as the boy is, when asked by officers if he'd like to press charges, he decides not to.

Later on, he became aware that there's a definite line as to race issues. It could be the other party also has that idea, but kids are resilient.

It's sad that an adult hits a child like that. The disagreement doesn't say the kids beat each other up.

* Since this is part of a longer story I may have to read more to see how things work out later.

* I like that it's subtle, yet effectively brings up this story question.

I was interested from the beginning and to the end.

*Idea* I would suggest a little dialogue.it could be the officer asking the parents and child about the event. It could reveal a few things about the parents. Plus we might see the child's thoughts.

Thank you for sharing.

Write on.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of For Her  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello HersForever,

I've read your item and here to review it.

There's several errors in this as far as punctuation. Periods and questions marks were missing at ends of sentences. Also sentence beginnings need capitalization.

* Reviewer's Comment:

The sentiment here is obvious, yet this could be so much more. I'd love to see what makes her special, and maybe a few instances that were memorial moments. It could be her smile, the way she looks at you, or her quiet ways. Maybe it's just how she makes you feel. Only you know this.

My favorite part:

If it is not meant to be in this universe, my soul will find yours in another.

* This is a nice try, but it could have more potential.

* This is only my suggestion and you can consider it or reject the idea. I'm just here to help, if possible.

You might read a story that you like and see how others have done it. Everyone has to start somewhere. Congrats that you've gotten this far so soon.

Keep on with it. You'll get there.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello IE,

This is a cute little story.

The premise: you are able to breathe underwater.

I like that we see that fish 🐠 are going by and they're each unique, but soon you are diving down to where the starfish is.



Here I wondered if you were a mermaid, yet you could be anything really. Curled tail could be a shrimp or lobster too.

*rest nearby
Shimmering tail curled neatly
A breath
Then another

You told a little story here and it's fun to read. Sea Life enjoying their existence.

Thanks for sharing.





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of I Wish  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello MJones,

I just read your item titled I Wish.

The rhyme is this is on the spot. It's easy to read and understand because it's concise and almost anyone can relate to this sentiment.

I first thought this might have been about how short their lives are compared to humans.

Nicely don't in eight.

Write On.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of The Naughty Gift  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello W.D. Wilcox,

I found this on the public news feed.

Wow, you had me worried for a bit.

* It certainly made me want to read more. I had to know who, what and why.

* I felt my heart beating faster, wondered what horrible person would confine someone like that. I hadn't figured it out until a bit before the box was popped open.

* And, oh what a surprise. Not at all what I thought at first. Whew!

* Nice sequence of events and growing tension in this piece.

* You answered all the story questions that was initially brought up.

* I saw no errors in this.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Kathleen Cochran,

I just noticed this in your portfolio and had to tAke a closer and review.

Wow this is so true. I often think that cellphones have taken over our lives, but also opened up opportunities for people with bad motives to take advantage of, not just inmocent children, but also trusting adults. So much scamming going on.

* This piece gives plenty of examples to help the reader understand why the writer believes that cellphone I nescare not your best friend.

Often it's how people use a tool, rather than the tool itself causing problems.

As for any good thing, I would say use in an emergency, like if you're broke down in the road, but also if you were being held hostage a ND had the phone with you. If it was turned on there's ways to locate vwhere it is. Wh I ch means you could get reacued.

*PENCIL* The only thing I saw that could use some editing is where there's a pause, (usually where there's an introductory clause) and it would need a comma. Often these omissions might be throughout someone's writing.

Thanks for sharing this interesting topic.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again, foxtale,

What an interesting true experience. That dog, Buster, somehow knew that cake was waiting for him.

The title fits the content if the story.

The item format and spacing, plus the paragraphs and dialogue is working well.

Comment: Thank God at least you all were able to save it and even were creative about it. The good news is that the boys didn't know what happened.

Either of my sons wouldn't have eaten it if they knew, thinking Buster breathed on it. And they might die. Lol

I thought I saw that one of the words needed a hyphen, yet now I can't find it.

Thhanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of SMOKEY'S LESSON  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Boy scout troop and scout masters experiencing training and an unexpected visitor.


I liked:
The imagery of the campsite. This made ne feel like I was there. Well done.

>We would sign up for the campsite that had an old rock chimney and grill, dry goods storage locker and several heavy-duty cedar picnic tables near the fire-ring.

* This was fun to visualize too. I got a giggle out of it. :

Like a dog waiting for its master, the bear rested its muzzle on the tabletop where the lantern light glinted off its black nose and reflected from its dark eyes as it curiously watched us at our task.

*Pencil* For the most part, the piece was well read, except for where there were areas with extra spacing. This can be fixed easily.

*Also some sentences needed commas.

* I would break up some of the larger paragraphs.

Thanks for sharing this with me. I'm sorry I didn't give it a higher rating. If you were to edit it, and let me know and provide a working link, I could take another look and possibly raise it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello sindbad,

I just read your little story.

Your first sebtencecirvtwi made me read more about this unusual request, or what do I know? Maybe it happens often. Anyway, the fact that the husband shows up, and so you had to not only ckean windows, toilets, the kitchen, and the floor. Just so to make it look legit.

Unfortunately, she ruined any hopes if at least getting paid. LOL

Maybe both if them were rubbing their hands together and high fiving afterward.

Ah that's the way things go I suppose. I have to say I've never tried that. Scammers are getting pretty clever.

Anyway, this was fun to read.

*Pencil* The bad thing is the spacing is messed up in the 5th paragraph.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello W.D. Wilcox,

I'm not sure where I saw a link to this story, but I'm glad I did.

I've read some of your stories before and I'm never dissatisfied.

This one especially appealed to me as it reminded me of a nightmare I had just the other night. I'll explain a bit later.

You write this so well, and with the right words. The descriptions of the lighting and imagery created a mood, where the child made a decision to escape from this horrible place and person.

While I was glad she escaped I worried when the snakes but her, while the other girl enticed her to follow.

Yet, this little girl decided to trust her. Unfortunately, the other had bad intentions and then seemed to constantly sheer at the child.
I wondered at why the adult acted like she was sorry, and pretty much think she's not change like that and actually would be like an angry alcoholic beating thier child, pushing them past unbearable limits. It's truly horrifying. but these things have happened to someone, or more than likely, several children.

Regardless, your story feels real, and I wasn't sure how to take the ended. I could see a possibility of a following story, but what turn if events might happen between the other girl who "forgave" her mother, I wasn't sure.
Maybe the entity, being a bit evil might create chaos. I doubt she truly would end up a victim. It was as if she planned it.

* I did not see anything like punctuation or spelling errors in this item.

Good writing. Thank you for sharing.

Now as for what said earlier, what I dreamt was like nothing else I have.

In mine, I was watching things unfold, ir ut was me at the mirror and then basically outside myself watching it happen.

It seemed as if it was a grown girl or young woman looking in the mirror doing the usual things people do after waking up.

Along came this older woman, her mother?, and she's screaming like a banshee at her. "What are doing? Hurry up! You have work to do, girl! Quit laying around!" She's chasing the girl, swinging something in her hand at her.

The girl isn't even dressed yet. She's thin, gaunt, tired looking, a haunted look on her face. Only fear causes her to jerk forward, running from the mad woman on a rampage. There's no escape.

This feeling is that this happened daily and that it never ends.

And so getting back to your story, it's weirdly similar. Yet, I hadn't read this until now. I was relieved to wake up and realize it wasn't real life, and in case you wondered, my mother never treated me like that.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of The Dream Giver  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello brom21

I was looking in your portfolio and saw this item and decided to review it.

This was an interesting story about the unknown. It was fun to read.

I liked that you had dialogue in this.

One thing that was a bit distracting was the use of too many dialogue tags. Often you can use it at first, then just let the dialogue flow back and forth until there's another speaker.

I noticed you used action on itvto indicate who us talking. This too can be overdone.

*Pencil*
Here are a few places where a word was transposed.

Dr. John Walker stood at his kitchen counter in the morning making eggs and bacon for his wife Ruth and son Luke.
Christmas was three days away. Luke was six years old and John left felt it was time to tell him Santa Clause did not exist.

* John cleared his throat and liked licked his lips.

Clever idea with two scientists interacting with other worldly beings.

The being's voice seems appropriate.

It all ends when it's decided this wasn't a good idea according to the celestial being.

This item can be much better with just a few changes. Let me know if you edit it and I can take a second look.

Thanks for sharing.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Intuey.

I just read this piece. I'm having issues with my device so if anything looks weird, it might not be user malfunction at this time.

I too have pondered such things. I often try to understand people because sometimes what they present might be caused by an inner feeling about themselves rather than what is.

As a child I've seen events unfold before mybetes and although quite young I did get a feeling about it, although rather helpless, as it seemed. Somehow I managed to cope and it somehow instilled empathy in me. My mothers inner strength. although she may have felt like she was surviving. She was, yet I watched day after day givingbifvher tine and loving care, while she silently suffered. And so I decided to try to be her strength. Nobody else was there to see. She was our sole support, while dealing with someone elses own demons.

Okay, one brother but his attitude wasn't kindly at all, so there's that difference.

I have to say th a t deep down I feel and know these things (such as the idea of a pure soul) yet sometimes it feels impossible to deal with kind with certain people. Humans are complex people, yet alike. It's not always easy to be human. We can't always see clearly another person's perspective as to why the react different to things than we do.

And now I laugh at what I just wrote.

Thanks for giving me something interesting to review.





Anyway, your piece was food for thought.

Well written.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of No Love Lost  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello my friend, Intuey,

I decided to drop by and take a look at this piece of work of yours. I'm not sorry I did.

* The rhythm and rhyme in this is spot on.

The format is perfect.

* The message is clear. It's over. I'm done.

It's rather sad when things don't work out, yet to see with clear-eyes is important.

Nice job on this. I like this poem pattern.

I saw nothing that needs changing. It's perfect as is.

Thank you for sharing.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of The Road Ahead  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello again Anthony,

At last I saw your name, and now I see another piece if your creativity.

Here's yet another well thought out work.

I liked the format and spacing of this. It's organized well on the page.

>This was a line that stood out for me.

* A stranger who's heart his love will melt

It caused me to pause at its deeper meaning. Well done.

I saw nothing that needed fixing.

Thank you for sharing this.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello. Forgive me. Im not sure what to call you here.

I just read this poem.

This was a nice one. The words used creates comfort for those feeling lost and lonely, yet they aren't as alone as they think.

This is much more than just a vacation, as it gently takes the ones feeling lost and lonely to a kind of soothing oasis.

Thank you for sharing this message.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Spirit Dawning,

I'm her in your port and noticed this item.

I like the format if this but also how the words tumble down in each stanza.
There is a peacefulness in the sights and sounds in the imagery here. The wind blowing and even the movement tickles our ears.

And so it's a respite from daily life, simply enjoying the forest and nature.

Have a joyful wdc anniversary.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of You are You  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello son of drogos,

I just noticed this item in your port and also that it's a special time for you.

I've not read anything like this in a long time. It certainly has a rhythm and consistency to it.

I'm not sure I could carry it in as you did, but you did a good job and you told a story with it.

I saw no issues with it but senses the tension and so some words are more bold than others.

Thanks for sharing and happy WDC Anniversary. Have a blessed one.

Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Legendar Mask,

I just read your item here and about to review it

The first thing I noticed was how well it's formatted. It is visually appealing.


It has lots of white space with evenly spaced areas between each set of stanzas.

It's written with such beautiful words and sweet sentiment. Memories of a love one not lost, but existing in someone's heart.

I saw nothing in this piece needing changing. It's perfect the way it is.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Winchester,

Saw this in your port and couldn't stop myself from reading it.

Here's another fun read. I liked the interaction between the husband and wife as they decide whether these new neighbors are friendly or suspicious.

It creates a moment for craziness as they ponder what the new neighbors are like.

Liked things like this:
I doubt very much they’ll attack. At least, not until it gets dark. Did you check the windows?

They could come in through the windows you know.”

It sounds like something I might say in jest, to soothe my own suspicions. Why not got for the way out there ideas. It relieves the tension, unless, of course, it doesn't.

These two are fun.

Then there's the part about greeting them with a loaded shotgun. Hah!

I'm loving it.

Even if the neighbors smile, they're still wondering what that means.

Loved reading this one. Keep doing what you're doing. We need more of this kind of funny absurdity.

No errors in this piece.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Winchester Jones,

I just read your story: "Last of the Jurgensens. I decided to go ahead and review it.

From the start we are right there as the action starts.

You have some nice imagery in this. We are basically strolling along the shore line with you and your family. It's a pleasant memory, even though they tease the main character.

Being afraid of sharks can be a good thing since they have big sharp teeth and aren't overly picky about what they eat, even a tasty human. Lol
Umm, somehow I kept trying to find the man's voice in this. When suddenly it came to me. I came up with Tom Selleck. He happens to be one of my favorite actors, as well as Sam Elliot.

I enjoyed his easy interaction and conversation, and how he didn't get upset about them teasing him.

Your dialogue in this is spot on.

I liked the exposition. There was enough to get a view of the area and what else happened there.

Great job on this. Keep up the good work.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of Community Service  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello again Amethyst Snow Angel,

This is the second story I've read of yours. Or is it the third? Lol

Anyway, wow. You had me interested from the start. And kept me reading all the way to the end.

I liked everything so it's hard for me to suggest anything.

This has a beginning, middle, and end. It showed tension and relief too. It showed a positive change for the main character.

Great job on this one.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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