Hey!
This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!
Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!
 Initial hook: lucky middle aged ladies first spanking fantasy fulfilled
 Storyline: a writer's protagonist comes to life
 Characters: Hailey and Shawn
 Setting:present day
 Atmosphere/Tone:normal, day to day, caring, NICE!
 Dialogue: loved the banter between these two, Shawn's so patient and Hailey's a spitfire!
 What I liked:"He grabbed her arm in a painless grip and pulled her to the settee.", few recognize that such a motion doesn't necessarily have to be rough, it's usually the grabbed dramatic response that makes it look so, like an unwilling dog grabbed by the scruff of it's neck.;
"“Are you going to spank me?” she asked, her voice slurred.", classic!;
"Hailey was going to learn that he would only be pushed so far before he put his foot down." *squeee* he care about her so much, *swoon*;
"Damn it, she didn’t want to go to the darn store!", glad i'm not the only one who hates shopping...;
“Look, Shawn, turn off big brother for the night. ...she felt a hard hand connect with her bottom....“Did you just smack me?”, oooomygee, the fact that he keeps at her through her tantrum is that superb!  ;
Had he always been so tall?;
“You’re serious?” she whispered... “Very serious,” he said firmly... “I don’t like chicken. You know that.”; this moment of subdued awareness is amazing;
"He watched, transfixed as a red print appeared on the pale white flesh." love seeing the action from both sides!;
"Can we talk about this?" lmao, classic!;
"What in the world had possessed her to think she wanted a real spanking? This hurt!" it is a crazy dichotomy....*shrug*;
"He got to his feet and pulled her against his chest. ", yay for aftercare!
" I’m going to spank you again.", o wow, that sent a thrill threw me!;
“Well, I didn’t mean today. I meant most days,”, “I write when the muse strikes! I can’t promise that I won’t write long hours!”, ha! I'd say that...alllll of that.;
"I am the one that is going to be spanking your bottom each and every time I find out you’re not taking care of yourself properly,”, o dang, lucky...or unlucky....;
“Why do you want to hurt me?”, total manipulation technique;
"What you felt was some pain. Not true hurt.”, interesting...very interesting, I must think on this....;
"Don’t put your health at risk, and the only spankings you’ll get are ones that you’ll like!", oooo now we're talkin!;
"She didn’t really want to agree, or have to agree.", sigh, a woman after my own heart, as if that weren't obvious already....;
"she did appreciate him for that, even if she couldn’t admit it to him.";
“Are you mad at me still?” key question, and his reasoning right before that is spot on;
 A few comments/suggestions I had:
(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)
 she rushed to get the words out. Sometimes the stories went well, and she always had to put them on paper immediately when that happened.
i can totally relate, though sometimes I get the chance to write immediately i'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that it's ok to think on something a few times before journaling it
 She considered herself a very lucky woman, in that she could make a living with her writing. As she wasn’t a morning person, it was a damn good thing,
amen, my envy abounds...
 1850—England
can't tell if you're prone to period pieces, but would have been nice to have this set in modern times, I got it.
 “Really? Then tell me, what am I?” he queried. Her father had already accepted his suit, and the little chit damn well knew it!... “What do you think you are going to do?”
feel I missed something, his suit? as in his marriage proposal or role as her guardian...?
 Your pride is hurt more than your bottom
ugh, so true
she asked. ... Hailey was very
a written break between the story and Hailey's reality would do well
Men were often intimidated by her.
ugh, so true.
She didn’t want an abusive man...She wanted a man that was kind, compassionate, considerate, and …one that would turn her across his knee if she needed it.
amen!
suggested he’d go Alpha Male on her.
ha! it can be hard to admit it's a quality we strong women want/desire
she’d told him that he reminded him of a big brother.
she’d told him that he reminded her of a big brother.
minor corrections
by seeming to pushy with her.;
He decided that today was the day that she’d learn about her big brother once and for all.; awkward sentence ;
bottle back and took a longs swallow of the cold;
and again thought was a great specimen he was of the opposite sex.;
A few parting comments...
it's amazing how good Shawn is at contemplating this initial/first/starter spanking; they can and surely will work up to the harder stuff, but this was perfect as an introduction to spanking for both of them;
Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!
Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
 
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed"  . |
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