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 |   Theses are my thoughts and ramblings as I forge my way through this thing they call life. |
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These are my thoughts and ramblings as I forge my way through this thing they call Life. I blog with these groups:     "Blogging Circle of Friends "  [E] 
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WDC Birthday Bash Blog Day Five: MUCH ADO ABOUT CAKE Created confession Always appreciated Kindly enjoyed Even if it looks like an elephant. Lines = 4. Note: this poem is in response to my teammate Choconut ~ House Targaryen   |
WDC Birthday Bash Blog Day Four: SCARIEST BIRTHDAY EVER Josh, my boyfriend of two years, said he had a wonderful birthday surprise for me. I was excited, but also apprehensive. Josh's surprises were not always my cup of tea. I was hoping for a hike along the escapement, a picnic lunch under a canopy of lush vegetation and maybe even a marriage proposal. Saturday morning we headed in the direction of my dreams, but then pulled up in front of a plane hanger. My heart sunk. "We're going skydiving!" My horror matched his enthusiasm. This was not the first time he had planned something for us that was more his thing. If I showed any dissention, he would pout the whole day and my birthday would be ruined. The thought of jumping out of a plane was just this side of suicide as far as I was concerned. Josh was dancing in delight. As usual, he was completely oblivious to my fears and concerns. "We get a training session and then its up, up and away!" He bounded from the car. I felt the nausea roll through me as the chills gripped my gut, leaving me light headed with terror as I struggled to make my way out of the car. My limbs felt like lead. "Happy Birthday, Meg! This is going to be awesome." he called as he made his way into the hanger not even waiting for me. I dragged in breaths of air hoping to find some equilibrium. When I did manage to move forward, it was on legs of rubber. As I entered the hanger one of the training crew caught my eye. He gave me a reassured smile as he listened to Josh yammer on about this being the best birthday ever. "Is this your birthday?" the young man asked him. "Hell, no. It's her's. The big 30." His booming voice made me cringe as he shared those details. I was already on tenterhooks about the idea of being 30 and not yet married. "Oh, so you're both going up?" the young man asked looking over at the ashen look on my face. "Damn straight." Josh said as he walked over to inspect the equipment. "Are you sure?" the man asked me. I bit my lip. To say no would result in a tantrum. I did not want these people to see how vile Josh could be when he didn't get this way. I pulled in a deep breath and nodded curtly. "We could offer you a tandem jump?" the man offered. "No way. Full on. Grab the bull by the horns, Meggie and do this right." Josh called over not looking at me. I hated when he called me Meggie. It made my skin crawl. I blew out another shaky breath and said around a dry mouth, "Would that be a safer option?" The man raised a brow and gave a half shrug and a lopsided smile as he said, "Only marginally." I had to appreciate his honesty and the fact that he seemed more concerned about me than my boyfriend. "Well, if I have to do this..." "You don't have to," he began. "Yes, she does. This is my present to her. Don't be a chicken s***, Meggie." I flinched as if hit. Straightening up to my full height - a mere 5 feet, I nodded determined to suffer through this. "I'll do tandem... with you?" I asked the young man who gave me a reassuring smile. "Oh, Meggie," I heard Josh mutter disapprovingly. I suffered through the training and the safety measures. Each bit of knowledge made me sick with fright, but glancing over at my tandem partner as he lead the group, I did not feel quite as awful as I expected. Tension built as we loaded ourselves into the plane and headed up into the perfectly blue sky. I could do this, I told myself. And if I lived through it things were going to change. I was done balking and backing down to Josh's thoughtlessness. Josh was the first out. I watched him sail through the air. Malicious thoughts scraped at me as he descended. When his shoot opened, it was my turn. Gabe shifted up behind me and asked if I was ready. I nodded and he connected us. We moved carefully to the open doorway of the plane. My life held, then catapulted as we jumped. I screamed, not caring what Gabe would think. My life flashed before me and I realized - This had to end. Either in my death or this relationship. Either way, I was done. When we were safely on the ground. I could hear Josh whooping and hollering like it was the best thing he had ever experienced. I could feel Gabe's strength behind me. Even as he untangled our gear he kept a hold of me. I still shook from the exhilaration and terror of the experience. "You okay?" he asked. "I will be," I said smiling back at him. My first real smile and he smiled back. As Josh rushed towards me. I held up my hand to stop him. "NO." I bellowed as loud as I could. He stopped in his tracks. "We're done." "But," he sputtered, "you loved it." "That's just it Josh. I didn't and you don't even realize that... I am done. No more. Good bye, Josh." I headed off towards the truck that would take us back to the hanger. I could hear Josh laughing behind me. He didn't believe I was serious. When he climbed back into the truck, I turned to Gabe and asked, "Do you think someone could drive me back into the City?" "My pleasure," he said. "I know this great burger place on the way, if your interested?' I smiled my acceptance as I avoided looking at Josh. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his jaw had dropped as the dawning of my seriousness began to weigh on him. Words = 992    |
WDC Birthday Bash Blog Day Three: A FORGOTTEN BIRTHDAY I don't like being the center of attention, but I also don't want to be forgotten either. I don't want a big party, but I don't want to be ignored either. I feel for those people living alone without access to technology. I'm sure many of them had their birthday's forgotten or they did not get any fanfare. I also feel for those people stuck in a hospital. Word Count = 68 |
WDC Birthday Bash Blog Day Two: Worst Present Ever Who gives a pink bedspread to a daughter who's husband clearly would not like it What thought goes into that gift? Think fuzzy Pepto Bismal in King size splendor.... I don't even like pink It's far too girly even for me You gotta wonder how much thought goes into my mother's gifts Or was she thinking it funny? My husband, at the time stayed quiet But he was not impressed He told me exactly what he thought after our guests left. His dislike of my mother grew How could mom figure I would put it on our bed I didn't even put the wedding ring quilt on our marriage bed And it only had a bit of pink mixed in with lovely greens It was relegated to the spare room Now it has a place of honour On my bed.... but that husband... He's long gone And so is that ugly pink bedspread. Gone Sally's way. Lines = 20 |
WDC Birthday Bash Blog Day One: A PANDEMIC- AL BIRTHDAY No cards sent No presents wrapped in fancy paper No candle lit dinners at fancy restaurants Or birthday cakes made with a delicate pastry chef's skill No parties as life milestones are crossed But there is always love and good wishes. Songs sung across Zoom screens are laughable as we try to get ourselves in sync - without anyone cutting -- -- out or being dropped --- - with a bad connection, Some even see family from far away countries that would never have been able to make it. Drive byes have a whole new connotation - As people sit outside in lawn chairs, Numbered balloons tied to the back, bobbing in the breeze as horns blast and people call out Birthday wishes and wave Complete strangers get caught in the convoy And instead of stewing and snarling at their plight, They join in and ring out greetings with smiles Of pleasure at being part of something... anything. Anything is better than sitting home alone. Others, who do venture close, send smiles set back at a safe distance Hidden under wraps and masks Some birthday celebrations even make the news - a glimmer of goodness within the onslaught of Covid stats. We have all learned to find the good within this darkness. The sliver lining through the densely packed clouds The smile behind the mask Humanity will always find a way to connect. Happy 21st Birthday WDC! Being a free verse poem the word count = 237. Lines = 27. |
Blogging Circle of Friends - Day 9120: June 2, 2021 Prompt: What do you think about writing prompts? What type of prompts do you like? What type of prompts do you dislike? I like writing prompts. I find I often need a jumping off point. A place to get me going when I first sit down to write. Sometimes I stay on topic and post the blog, other times I get off topic or find my way back into a short story or other piece of writing I have been doing. Either way I find I am able to get back into my writing. I like prompts that make me think. Make me consider my view of things. I also like prompts that give me a selection of words and have me make up a story or poem that incorporates them. I am pretty open to anything. If it intrigues me, I write. I don't like prompts that are too political or ones that are geared to American holidays. Being Canadian, I pass on those. Holidays in general, I'm up for those. Blog City - Day 2193 June 2, 2021 Prompt: Is there a difference between joy and happiness? I would make a distinction between contentment and happiness and joy... Happiness is fleeting. According to James Clear, from his book Atomic Habits, "Happiness is not about the achievement of pleasure (which is joy or satisfaction) but about the lack of desire." Caed Budris says "Happiness is the space between one desire being fulfilled and a new desire forming." We are always chasing our desires whether they are physical or whether they are more abstract (like fame or financial freedom). We always want something. Contentment is being okay with where you are and what you have. No desire to chase after more. Just an appreciation for what you have in that moment. It is more like a sense of peace. |
Blog City - Day 3115 May 28, 2021 What's your learning style? Do you prefer learning in a group and in an interactive setting? Or one-on-one? Do you retain information best through lectures, or visuals, or simply by reading books? This is an interesting topic. As a child, I preferred to learn on my own by simply reading books. I hated group work. I was shy and did not think my opinion mattered. I was not a fan of my peers in school and they were not into me. I was a wall flower. As I got older and began to work with interesting people - in university - I expanded my learning style to include others. I found working with another person, one I respected, was far more interesting. We got to bounce ideas off each other and challenge each other to be our best selves. When I got to teachers college, this expanded further to morph into small groups. I tend to choose people that inspire me and challenge me to do my very best. I think the older I got the more focused I was on the area of interest. In university, I studied Sociology and Psychology and in Teacher's College I was learning to take a curriculum topic and make it interesting for kids to learn. Collaboration became important and sharing ideas opened up my thinking and my learning. I love to read and sharing my ideas with others helps to reinforce the learning. With teaching, I find I learn so much from my students and am amazed at the learning that can happen when everyone is engaged in a topic. The trick is to get them engaged. Get them excited about the experience and watch it bloom. I know that when it comes to tech stuff, I prefer to learn hands on. I need to see and experience how to do the new technology and applications. If I need to do something on the computer that I have not done before, I will often ask for one-on-one help to get that hands-on, visual experience. I need to walk through the process to see what to do, so that I can do the rest on my own. Covid has made that kind of learning a challenge, but luckily I work in a school with two other special education teachers who are willing to help me out when I run into a new venture. I am a lifelong learner. I like to change things up. I read a lot. Usually one fiction and one non-fiction selection at a time - Most of these non-fiction choices are writing reference books, but I also enjoy books like Atomic Habits by James Clear to help me learn how to live my best life. |
Blog City - DAY 2168 May 8, 2021 There's dialogue and there's monologues. Dialogue is conversation between people whereas monologues tend to be one person speaking similar to a speech or a rant. Let's take this opportunity to discuss your name. What makes it unique? Is it a family name? Is there a story behind? Have fun, be engaging. A name, you say. Talk about your name. Why it's unique. Unique. Not so much. It's a name I had to grow into, though not as much as someone growing into Gertrude or Griselda. Gertrude was my grandmother's name. I escaped that... thank God. Griselda.... well, that was a name I got called by teens with self esteem that needed a boost and a target to pin there ambitions on. Being an only child, I was an easy target. Carolyn. I liked the -lyn part of my name. The Carol part, I am not so crazy about, but I can live with it when it is said as a whole. When anyone calls me Carol, it's like nails on a chalkboard. I was supposed to be born closer to Christmas. If I was a girl - I would be Carolyn. If I was a boy - I'd be Noel. Noelle is pretty, but probably sounded too French and my mother was not a fan of French Canadians and their attitude - it was the late sixties and Quebec Separatism was in full swing. Funny, how later, one of her best friends was French Canadian - and a really cool lady - she had hot pink leather pants! But that is so off topic... we are talking about how I got my name. My middle name is Bobbi. I love it, but tend not to use it because the name has connotations of a blond bimbo - or at least the outer surface of blond bimbo - with a smart, badass under that surface that guys have no clue about or want to know. The name is after my Dad. He was Robert, but he was called Bobby. His dad was Robert. A namesake... a family honour and since he has died - when I was 12 - I feel the name connects me to him in a way that transcends boundaries. I was a Daddy's girl. I never got to meet my Grandfather. He died before I was born and I was the first grandchild. My last name is the one that confounds me.... When I got married, my ex would not ask me to marry him unless I changed my last name. I took comfort in my middle name as that connection to my family when I finally decided to take his name. We were married for 16 years after being together for almost 8 years before that.... now I feel caught between the past and my future. As a teacher I use my married name - it is who I was when I got my teaching certificate. Not having a contract teaching position holds me to that name as people who know me, know me by that name. If I ever get into my own teaching position, I will change my name back. But in my writing, I hold to my name of origin. It is the one that holds my beginnings and I refused to give it away. That is who I am. Who I will always be. The name of Carly is my own choice. When I was a teen, a cool girl I worked with, called me that instead of Carolyn and I liked the sound of it. I also liked the creative nature of the name and the sense of freedom that came with it. I adopted it as a way of pursing my dreams.... a kind of fearless personae.... or something like that. So that's my name story. I look forward to reading yours. |
Blogging Circle of Friends - Day 2061: April 5, 2021 Prompt theme: Renewal - “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.” —Joseph Campbell How does this quote relate to renewal. This is an interesting quote. It resonates with me. I find many of the stories that I write tend to follow this pattern of renewal as the women I write about are rising up above situations they thought were good for them. Leaving abusive relationships, unfaithful men and dead-end jobs to find their true authentic self and their happiness. An old skin restricts movement and growth. Shedding it allows for growth to happen and freedom to move and change. Old skin cuts into the body and the soul, it can ultimately kill if it not shed. Nobody wants to be restricted and held back from new growth. Change is inevitable. Inevitable but not always negative. Even in a good situation, new growth and change are important. Who wants to live stagnantly?! Have you ever smelt a stagnant pool of water? Yeash! Spring is the perfect time to shed off the old, clingy winter that has keep up buried under coats, hats and mitts The freedom to go outside without all that extra to keep us warm is revitalizing. Yesterday I sat outside on the front stoop and read and wrote and just enjoyed being outside where I could watch the neighbours and say "Hello, Happy Easter" from a safe distance. It brought a lot of smiles to many faces, including mine. I am getting tired of writing downstairs in the basement. After a busy autumn, it was nice to get cozy by the fireplace, but that was months ago and I am ready for a change. I think the one thing about this Pandemic is not being able to get out and about. A change of scenery helps me blast through writing blocks. I miss watching people and the atmosphere's of various places. I missing popping over to another smaller village or small town to breath a bit of change... a bit of difference. It breaks up the mundane. I have plans to take a thermos of coffee and my laptop to the park downtown when the weather gets a little warmer. The park is able to pick up free WiFi from the City Hall making the perfect outdoor spot... it just hope the bathrooms open and then I will have it made in the shade! Being creative and finding ways to fulfill that need to get out, but still stay safe, is what has been keeping me sane when things get heavy. |
Blog City - DAY 2332 December 21, 2020 Prompt What was your biggest learning experience in 2020? 2020 has been a challenging year. There have been many learning opportunities. The one that runs through all of them is being grateful for what I have - family, friends, my health, my work - teaching and my writing. Staying close to home has not bothered me overly much. I have probably saved a ton of money not galivanting out and about. I miss exploring various places and people watching. In the spring, I was able to see our neighbourhood antics as I spent a good amount of time on the front stoop watching the neighbour families interact. Across the street, there are two little boys under 6 years. I called them the kindie show! Their antics were priceless! Being outside, I was also able to greet many people out walking their dogs. Our area is really quite vibrant. I appreciated that. Writing outside was just lovely. Now as the weather is colder, I have moved indoors. My writing has moved back into the basement... close to the fireplace. With Christmas coming at the end of the week... a mere three plus days away, I have begun to close in. I did go out today to spend a few hours wandering around in Indigo. I bought a few gifts, but was not able to find everything I wanted. I have also bought a few things online... including a bee necklace and a bee adoption through ProjectHoneyBees. This is perfect for my aunt as she is studying to be a master Gardener and bees are very important to our survival. I refuse to go to the mall. So I managed to buy the calendar my mother wanted online. Not sure when it will arrive, but I can always put a wee note in her stocking. Tomorrow I will pick another store to venture out to... Rexall... to get a few last minute gifts. Then it will be wrapping. I may also pickup some baking items and make a few cookies I really enjoy. Like whipped shortbread. Christmas will be a quiet affair. I'll miss the traditions and seeing my extended family, but I will be with my mother and we will make things lovely. I think it is important to stay positive and look for ways to make anything possible. Patience is also important to develop. Nothing is done in a hurry. Shopping could take two or three times as long, if there are long lines and excessive wait tines. Then there is the health aspects - handwashing and sanitizing. Wearing a mask. Keeping physical distance, but still interact with others with a smile, a wave or a cheery 'hello'. We still need others. I look forward to the day I can hug my friends again! |
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