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 |   You never know what you'll find - humor, ramblings, rants, randomness- it's all me! |
This description part is challenging. I never know what I will blog about until I start typing. I do know there will be typos. I don't reread or correct my blog. Otherwise it turns technical instead of my feelings and thoughts. Trust me, on stories and poems I'm a grammaraholic, but this is freedom. Sometimes to keep it from getting too personal, I even turn my head away while I type. Weird, right?. I hope you find this somewhat entertaining, thought-provoking, and humorous.   A little about me. The most important things in my life are family, especially my son, Reese, and my husband, Bruce, my walk with God, and making a positive impact in some way. I am a teacher, currently teaching 6th grade Language Arts. While at times my job can be trying, overall, it is one of the most rewarding passions in my life.   This is my wonderful son, Reese. He is now 20 and and a junior at Oklahoma State University. I may be partial, but he is an exceptional kid with the best heart I've ever known. He makes me laugh, think, and want to be a better person. We are both huge Oklahoma State Cowboy fans - Gooooooo Pokes!  This is Reese's dog, Betty. She shares a name with my mother. Reese named her that because she was beautiful and kind just like his Nanny (my mom). I'm not sure my mom is quite convinced it is a compliment though. Betty is a huge part of our family. She even had her own blog for awhile. Poke around at your leisure and shake your head at some of things that go through mine. I always return reviews/comments, though admittedly, sometimes it does take me awhile depending on what life is serving me at that point. Keeping the faith, Audra  |
| "You have been named as a suspect in a crime that you didn't commit (and had no knowledge that it even occurred). *Shock* It was a burglary and now you're being questioned by the police. Write the interrogation, from a handful of questions you are asked, to the answers you provide. Feel free to implicate other members as possible suspects to clear your name. "Ma'am, this will go a lot easier on you if you just fess up now." "Sir, this will go a lot easier on you if you quit talking Law and Order code and spit out what you mean. Fess up? This isn't Mayberry RFD." "Your continual sarcasm isn't doing you any favors. You know what you did. We've shown you the tape several times. There is no denying it's you." Chuckling, "You're delusional. You think I'm the only overweight, pasty white, circle under her eyes, hair in a ratty ponytail in this county? Do you have any idea how many single mothers there are that don't have time to go to the gym, find their makeup - much less put it on and have foregone a decent haircut to pay for school supplies? Besides, where the hell would I find time to mastermind what you are acting like is the crime of the century?" "Your son doesn't remember you being home last Tuesday night. How do you explain that?" "My son is a sweetheart, but he's 14. He doesn't remember where his shoes are when they are on his feet." "So where were you?" "Let's see . . . and this is just a guess mind you. Dropping my son off at school, going to my school to teach, followed by a curriculum meeting, then a PTA meetting, taking my son to tutoring. His memory isn't so good." Clears throat. "Cooking supper while grading papers, trying to remember if I showered that morning, making cupcakes for the bake sale the next day. Helping son with English homework. Calling cable company. They shut it off if you don't pay the bill . . ." "So you admit you needed the money. Ah- ha!" "Hell yes, I need money. I need energy and sleep too, but I don't see you questioning me about stealing from an electrical plant or a life supply of Ambien." "Maybe you've "selective" forgotten your plan of robbing the bank at the mall." Laughing, "The mall!? You are crazy. I haven't been to the mall since well the internet was invented. The mall? Why would I rob a bank at the freakin' mall? There is your proof. Trust me, if I'd been at the mall at least 40 kids I've taught would remember seeing me there. And it almost hurts me to say this, but I'm lookin' at your pics again here, and I know my ass is wider than that. Why don't you kiss it and get a good look?" "You are about to be arrested for . . . . police . . . um . . . disrespect." "You know what I just noticed? "The word 'rest' is in arrested. Sign me up, Barny Fife." Peace, love, and stay out of the pokey, audra |
| "What is your biggest pet peeve/gripe/grievance/whatever you want to call it? Why does it bother you so much? Here is your chance to use your writing talent to vent about what ails you. Use it wisely We just had this discussion at school. I got a lot of answers like: chomping ice, smacking food, sneezing in the morning (strangely 2 people said this - oh well, it is allergy season), interrupting, etc. All of which I completely agree with - even the sneezing - that's got to be bad to be woken up to. My list would be much longer, because apparently I'm easily irratated at small things. But if i have to choice one . . . . . . (that's the writer's signal for drumroll, please). . . . .it would be: Incompetence! Not to be confused with impotence or incontinence which I'm sure would both annoy me too. What I mean by incompetence is having the ability to do something and not doing it. I express this best with actual examples from life: 1. Walmart worker sleeping on the lawn furniture. Okay, even if perhaps it is your break, I'm not gonna want that lounge chair anymore and you sleeping on it just makes me want to shake you awake and ask which aisle has mechanical pencils. 2. Here is a conversation: me: where would the chalkboard paint be worker (term used loosely): I don't know me: I'm sorry - I thought that blue vest meant you worked here. worker (looking at attire): i do. We don't carry it. me: I saw it in the Sunday ad. worker: we don't carry it. me: where is the normal paint worker: few aisles down me: I didn't see it. worker: it's there She was right, the freaking CHALKBOARD PAINT was a few aisles down. These examples aren't the best because it makes me sound like some primadonna that expects to be waited on hand and foot, and that's not the case at all. I blame my dad. He instilled a strong work ethic in me. I work hard at my job, and if i don't know something I try to find the answer. Ooops which reminds me I need to look up the origin and actual reference of minding y our p's and q's. I think I know but I'd hate to be incompetent. Peace love and something else, audra |
| "If you had to decide between the two, would you rather forget all of your memories or never be able to make new ones?" Well, let's see . . . what a sucky choice to have to make. Either I lose all the memories that make up who I am or I quit experiencing life basically. Though I've had no caffiene yet, so my decision may be skewed, I would go with losing all my memories. Experiencing the first snow, my son's first words to me, the taste of homemade dumplings for the first time might be kinda coool. I mean I know the joy I get now from seeing my son experience something for the first time; almost like reliving that experience through him. Then again, I guess he would have to explain to me that he was my son. For some reason right now I find that hilarious. Ughh. . . I'm perplexed again. One of the things I like about myself is i have a good memory, and I'd have to throw that away and start again. But then again, I'd be throwing the bad memories out too. I'd have to relearn how to deal with pain and loss, though I don't think there is really a "way" to deal with it. I wouldn't remember my grandfather, but I know my grandmother would sure endless hours giving me the memories of him. Oh oh oh this is almost like THE GIVER. If you've not read the book, you need to. Thought provoking, various issues, well-written. It's by lois lowery. Okay, i've rambled enough. Well, not quite I have one more thing to say. Reason 26043 of why to proofread your writing (except of course in blogs) My students are writing to Marines overseas. As I read through their letters I came across this one: Dear Marine, I am from a small town named Jones. I do very well in school. In fact, I'm a straight student. I pulled the boy aside yesterday and asked him to look at it and see what might be wrong. He says, "Ohhhhhh man. I spelled straight wrong." "Ummmm no. Read it aloud." He did, as he turned a nice crimson red. "you weren't really sharing your sexual preferences with our service men were you?" I asked praying for the answer to be no. As all color drained from his face at my bluntness, while never meeting my gaze, he quietly pleaded to be able to rewrite it. One more for the books. Audra |
| Yep. . . it happened - a blonde karma moment. definitely karma because of yesterday's blog where I carried on about people being stupid, apparently forgetting I was one. And blonde - because I'm blonde and proved it once again. Okay, so I'm one of those people whose sight is so bad that if I take my contacts out before I have my glasses in hand I won't be able to find them. I came home very late the other night (no drinking involved despite what you'll choose to believe after reading this) and fell asleep in my contacts. If you have never done this let me tell you it is like waking up with a saltine cracker of fog etched in your eyes. All I wanted to do was get them out. I mummy-walked half blind to the kitchen to splash water in them to try to loosen them from my retina --- well, for some reason this brought on a burning sensation to the point i was sure the water company had replaced my H2O with acid. I grabbed a cup (from feel of course) and yanked my contacts out and dropped them in the cup. Realize I can't see now, but at least the burning sensation is no longer doing the disco inferno in my eyes. I stumble to my bedroom where thankfully i find my glasses without injurying myself further. Exhausted from the previous night and my contact excursion i laid down and fell asleep. I woke up hungry . . . about the only normal thing about me. Singing along with Prince on my Zune I heated up some oatmeal. Yum. . . It really was good; that wasn't sarcasm. I ate every bite just like Goldilocks - hey she was blonde too. When I went to go rinse my oatmeal cup i realized that it was the cup I had put my contacts in. So yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I ate my contacts. Lovely, huh? My son is sure it will give me superpowr of super eyesight inside and out. (Like I want to look at my intestines?) Moral: I was right - people are stupid lol Peace. love, and these things always happen to me, Audra |
| Yeah, seriously . . . no offense, because I'm assuming (ha - if I add -ing it doens't make an "ass" out of "u" and "me" -- nevermind) it is people that are reading this. But seriously, people are stupid. I ebay - sell, buy etc. So I put my son's $25.00 gift card to Academy on up for bidding. I didn't steal it technically. It's been in my purse for a year; I'm pretty sure he's not going to miss it. Now a gift card to gamestop would be a diffferent story. Anyway, the bidding is up to $27.00. Come on, peeps! The thing is valued at $25.00 and you still have to pay shipping. Is our desire to win greater than our own intelligence? I feel like just giving it to the guy that stopped bidding at $23.00 just for showing some good ole American common sense. Maybe I'm just a hater. I should be happy; I'm making a few bucks on moronic activity. I am happy, I'm just shaking my head. I'm not the most logical person; trust me. but I don't through my blondeness around for strangers to laugh at. Well, that's really all I had to say. I guess we all have our stupid moments. Peace, love,and profiting, Audra |
| If you have nothing else to do, look at yourself and see if there isn't something close at hand that you can improve. It may make you wealthy, although it is more likely it will make you happy. - George M. Adams - Who wants to look in the mirror? I spend my day trying to duck and dodge them. UHHHHHHHH self-reflection UUUUUGGGGHHHH. You know I'm kidding, right? Well, kinda.  It's just really that at this age, I've come to terms with my so-callled imperfections. Sure, I work on them, but I'm not expecting miracles. I know my limitations. . . and laziness. I prefer to live in my fantasy world where I'm a size let's just say 6, stubborn isn't a word people use to describe me, and every word that comes out of my mouth sounds somewhat intelligent. Okay, this has nothing t do with the prompt but I have to share. Because it's one of those things you HAVE to tell but if you tell 'real' (no offense) people in your life that might think you were a little off your rocker. Let's have a drum roll. . . . (I know some of you actually did it lol) I gave myself a black eye today. NOOOOOO not intentionally, I'm not stupid. . .just accident prone. How? you might ask. I'm going to try to be delicate here and maintain a hint of ladylikeness. I was relieving myself (you know we ladies tend to sit while we pee pee lol that sounds so funny - well, to me and my black eye - I've named him George - too ugly to be a girl). And I reached down because I noticed my son had left a wash cloth (washrag - depending on your region) on the floor. and somehow when I leaned up I hit myself in the eye with the doorknob that apparently wasn't there 2 seconds ago. So now I have a goose egg on my eye and George is blackening, PLUS i have to make up insane stories to tell people, because they wouldn't believe the truth AND I have no intention of admitting to it. Needless to say, my son ins doing the laundry for the rest of his life. Not really, he's not even home - at his dad's. If it hadn't hurt so bad, I would have laughed. Okay, okay, I did laugh, but not until that "oh my gosh, i'm going to puke from the pain" feeling went away. Catch you later peeps crazy enough to read my ramblings, Audra & George! ** Image ID #1529452 Unavailable ** |
"Difficulty is the excuse history never accepts." ~Edward R. Murrow Excuses are like buttholes, we all have them and they all stink. But is that true? Are there "good" excuses? Some may respond it's not an excuse it's a reason. Sematics. Maybe the definition of an excuse should be an obstacle we are either unable to overcome at the time or so choose to not conquer. I don't know. . . I'm just typing . . . wishing I had a glass of wine. Lol that's my excuse for not embracing this prompt the way it deserves. . . I have no wine. Wine = Muse. Not really. . . Actually, I can't remember the last time I had wine. Sigh, but it does sound good. So history never accepts an excuse, Mr. Morrow? This is one of those quotes that makes me want to find an exception. You know, like "i" before "e" except after "c" and in wEIrd cases. But honestly, history isn't my strong suit. Scary since I'm certifified to teach it. don't freak out, I don't teach it. Really, I'm pretty upfront. . . not a big excuse person. Maybe too brutally honest. I didn't come to your party . . .well, because I didn't want to. ouch - no, I'm a little nicer than that. "I didn't work out", because I'm lazy. "I don't have money, because I'm not a good manager of it." Excuses, or truths? Is it the same thing. I'm going to sign off before my head explodes and I die without any zinfadel wine in my system. Peace, love, and be kind to your parents no matter what age you are, audra When you don't know the answer, just keep talking until they stop caring. |
Write about the good times (without bringing up the bad) of a past relationship that went wrong. I have thought about this prompt off and on all day. It has really made me realize how we focus on the negative. I mean, I knew that we did; in fact, I'm always telling my students things like, "Your parents aren't that bad it's just more interesting to retell the 'bad' things they do than the good ones" and the same thing with bf/gf. I tell them it is sad when your friends give you a bigger reaction when you say "You are not going to believe what he did!" with a scowl on your face than with an excited inflection. However . . . apparently, I'm just as guilty. I honestly don't want to do this prompt, because I obviously hold on to the negativity when relationships have gone south (why is south bad and not west?). And really, I'm told i'm a postive person. The thinkg is, and yes, I know it's stupid, I feel like they don't deserve the good memories - as if i'm punishing them by thinking about the bad things when they don't even know i'm thinking about them. Sorry about all the typos but I got new nails and they have a mind of their own. I commend, not CONDEMN, kristen (i think that's who gave this prompt) for pushing me. I'm going to do it even though I don't want to. My former boss - the good times She gave me a reason and an opportunity to move back to Oklahoma after college graduation. I was so perplexed as to my next life step and she opened the door - for me, not for herself. She trusted me to make decisions that went beyond my job description. lol - getting lost in dallas, texas - time and time and time and time again, somehow always laughing about it pushing my creativity sharing a bottle of wine watching old videos, laughing at ourselves Sharing parts of our lives for 18 years. (Please be an easy prompt tomorrow - this was great but now i'm melancholy) Audra |
here is the prompt for day 19. In all or any of it's forms or uses- What does the sea mean to you? I've only seen the ocean, beach, etc. once. So I"m going to resort to a poem I wrote about what I think the sea is like and about. "A Lifetime In my Mind" Once I grasped your beauty, for all my life and beyond. In an instant, I understood your timelessness. Gentle waves lapped at thirsty legs, as sandy grains tickled gripping toes. Washing off my earthly virginity, giving freely your cleansing touch. Like a new lover, uncharted, I fell for you - body and mind. Longing for more, fearing the unknown, unable to escape from your gifts. Sun on my skin, reminder of coolness you provide hungry souls. Eyes seeing beyond reality, vastness encompassing a fearful earth. Your salty taste caressed my lips. Resolve surrendered; senses alive. Peace overtaking, stress unknown, gathering me in your embrace. Consuming, erasing worries, giving me your protection. As I allowed myself to sink into your depths, you lifted me up. In all masses of time, this brevity I cherish, but must relinquish. Standing, as drops of your passion fell from my skin like unshed tears. Each step, I heard a soft calling, whispering words only I knew. This time was but a moment in life, yet a lifetime in my mind. |
Here is your prompt for Day #18: The title of my blog is "Life is random...and so am I". Write about how you've experienced the randomness of life. It could be any (or all) of the following: A random act or experience A random encounter/meeting with a friend of a friend of a friend (like the Six Degrees of Separation theory) Synchronicity that you've witnessed Maybe the whole world is just random, because I know I feel that i'm a random person with random occurences to the point that they have lost their shock factor. Let's look at number 1. A random act or experience -- I'm going to go with a random act of kindness. Ahhhh crap maybe not - it's going to make me cry -- niceness is crazy like that. One morning at school, I found an envelope in my purse with $100.00. Now mind you I'm not "poor", but as a single mother on a teacher's salary, I do make sacrifices, but they are sacrificies I don't mind because I love my son and my job. I didn't set out on my career path to be a millionaire. I wondered why or who would have put money in my purse. Though my students are wonderful they are still at the "all about themselves" stage, and very very very few of them have access to $100.00. Finally, a fellow teacher (who I know doesn't have an abundant about of money) pulled me aside after she could tell it was bothering me. (Great here come the dang tears --- now). She explained that she saw herself in my son, and her mother in me - that growing up their situations had been very similar and her mom had always put her own needs last. It was her way of now being able to give back. She then requested that I not pay bills with the money, but do something for myself. I agreed reluctantly. . . I know she could see it in my eyes. Thinking the moment was over and I could go cry in the bathroom stall, she then pulled out 2 tickets to a hockey game with another $25 for parking and snacks. This was more than I could handle, tears slid down my cheeks. It was a mixture of pride, shame, thankfullness, and utter confusion of all the emotions. Jenny, (the teacher), and I had only known each other a couple of months. She was new to the school and I'd been helping her get adjusted and learning the ropes so to speak. I was honest with my son who was 13 at the time about where the tickets and money had come from. He has a really good heart himself, so I think he understood even better than I did. At the hockey game we had $20 to spend on "junk" after $5.00 for parking. Heading toward the nachos, one of his favorites, I was prepared to pay the overpriced fee for nachos and Dr. Pepper. Reese stopped at a kiosk on the way that was selling Christmas ornaments disabled kids had made as a fund raiser. He asked for the money. Handing the man the $20.00, he told him to keep the change. I think the ornmaments were like $2.00 a piece. He took one that resembled an apple. The next day he became James Bond and sneaked into Jenny's room and put the ornament and a picture he had taken of us at the game on his phone in her purse. Okay, that's all I'm saying because I'm crying dadgumit. It could be PMS because I refuse to admit I have any real feeling beyond humor. Audra |
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