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Printed from https://p15.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4313044
Review #4313044
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by The Dark Faery
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello Steev the Friction Wizurd


Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

I found you featured in the Horror/Scary Newsletter. Congrats


What I like:

I like the title. It is what drew me into reading your story. I also like the ending. You left me wondering what happens. Does Hank kill his wife? If he does how?


Overall Impression:

A well written story. It has a good story line and the plot moves along at a great pace keeping the reader turning the page and wanting more. Great job.
I kept wondering if the tea had been poisoned.


Suggestions:

Some type of physical description of the characters and maybe a flaw would make them more believable. And add in a little description of the setting.
I noticed you used several passive verbs. If some could be changed to active verbs it would make the story stronger.


Final Thoughts/Conclusion:

I enjoyed reading your story.
Thank you for sharing your story. Keep on writing!


Gypsy Ann *ButterflyV*

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