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Review #4299750
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Review by T.S. Garp
Rated: | (4.0)
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This story was a qualified entry into the "Five For Fighting" contest. The below review is based on the guidelines set for that contest.

Title: While the title is not particularly catchy, it is appropriate based on the context of the story.

Opening: The first time I read the opening section, it did not necessarily pull me into the story, and I was confused by both the subsequent tense shift in the story and the apparent point of view change. In the opening, the narrator seems to address the reader directly about Mrs. Goewell's current condition. As the story continues the reader is no longer involved with the narrator, and the story changes to the more traditional third person point of view. I asked myself if the first section was even necessary. I liked the opening of story if you began with "The day had started normally enough..." That opening pulled me in and helped move the story along.

Characterization: Each of the characters were unique, and your use of both dialogue and descriptions helped me identify with all of the characters you included in your story. The characterizations augmented the theme of the story.

Dialogue: As previously mentioned, your use of dialogue helped both create individual characters and identify the theme of the story. Freddy's speech patterns were especially creative, adding to the descriptions of the young man.

Theme: While the overall theme seems to be apparent from the start, the downfall of the high and mighty, how you "get there" is done extremely well, and I found myself wondering how would the family fall and who would fall the farthest/hardest. Throw in the sub-theme of betrayal, and you have an engaging story with multiple layers of meaning.

Plot/Conflict Resolution: Outside of the opening paragraph, the story moved in a logical manner, and the plot was clear. <<SPOILER>> The conflict resolution; however, left me wondering why the wife would shoulder all of the burden. I could understand why the husband would worry about what happened, he had no previous knowledge of the events unfolding, but Freddy, who agreed with his mother that going to meet the mysterious letter writer was a waste of time, should carry some of the blame. Even if Freddy could ignore the fact that he should feel as though he were a part of this debacle, and one could image just that, Mrs. Goewell's character would seem to have the wherewithal to challenge her son's accusations.

Setting: The setting was appropriate, and you clearly showed the reader the physical aspects of a wealthy, English family and all of the associated trappings of their "station in life" (e.g., the lack of a seal on the letter and quality of paper to show the superiority of the Goewells).

"Fictional Reality": For the majority of the story I was immersed into the world you created. This was especially true once I ignored the opening section. Again, the ending left me wondering why Mrs. Goewell would be the only one to feel shame, but other than that, you created a believable world and a well thought out story.

Grammar: I did not find any glaring or consistent grammar errors.

Thank you for the pleasurable read. I hope you find the above comments helpful!

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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