Twiga's Stories

"I can bring you to the Man in the Cape and Cowl..." Matoaka said "...But first you must explain why you need his assistance to me...No Beast or Bird or Fish sees the Man in the Cape and Cowl without going through me first." Boom Boom was quite shocked to (Twiga )

To see the same Unicorn from before. But being a Cosmic Dragon, she had to respect the tradition and protocall of this land so she said "I will explain to you Mortal Unicorn only if there is no one else who hears!" "That can be done." Said the Captain.... (Twiga )

She got a soundproof room for herself and Boom Boom to talk.Boom Boom explained that she had been both cast out of Heaven and transformed into a Humanimal by her Master for being reckless and endangering her teammates. Matoaka listened to this story and.. (Twiga )

Quietly nodded her head taking it all in. "Well." Said Matoaka quietly "I will tell your story to the Ma with the Cape and Cowl, he'll certainly be interested in your story." Meanwhile as the rest of the Fellowship Herd was headed for Gotham they were.... (Twiga )

Stopped! By two Large Mutant Bulls! One of the Herd Members Bill who was a Bull himself, stepped out of the Car "Okey Dokey Guys." Bill said calmly "What exactly is the deal?" The Two Bulls looked at each other and winked and then both charged at Bill the (Twiga )

Runty Bull Humanimal was caught off guard but fortunately the rest of the Herd came to his aide and quickly subdued the Two Mutant Bulls. Edward Green, the former Wrangler Prince placed his sword against one of the Bull's throats. "Talk," Said Edward.. (Twiga )

The Mutant Bull gulped "It...It was Milo's idea!" "Milo?" Edward asked "Who is Milo?" "Milo...Is a Scientist." Said the Mutant Bull "We were just his Henchman...His Goons...He tested the Mutagen on us...We became strong and powerful and freaks of nature." (Twiga )

"Well I can see you don't think much of Humanimals." Bill said irritated, swishing his Bovine Tail "I'm sure the two of you will have loads of fun in the brig." Meanwhile Matoaka was telling Boom Boom to stay in the Police Station while she went to the... (Twiga )

Man with the Cape and Cowl. "Fine." Said Boom Boom irritably "But be quick about it! I hate sitting for long periods of time doing nothing." Meanwhile Batman was already seeking clues about the source of this mysterious Mutagen he donned the cape and cowl (Twiga )

In broad daylight, and started his search near Poison Ivy's old haunt near the toxic waste dump. arming himself with protection against the various toxins Batman saw the usual stuff but no glowing pink ooze. That was when he heard some rustling foliage... (Twiga )

Once upon a time First Boy woke up for the first time. When First Boy woke up for the first time it was night. First Boy was laying in the midst of a grassy meadow. First Boy was a Healthy Boy of seemingly 12 Years of age. First Boy sat up and he looked.. (Twiga )

At his own arms, they were skinny and pale as the Moon that was shining down on him. First Boy just sat with his legs in front of him and examined his body that was when he heard a tiny 'HEY!' He looked down and saw at his side a Tiny Black Ant. First Boy (Twiga )

Looked down at the Insect in amazement. The Black Ant kicked him with her tiny foot "You're blocking traffic!" The Ant yelled "Who are you?" Asked First Boy "I am Ant." Said the Ant "And I'm late for work!" "What is work?" Asked First Boy Ant then began.. (Twiga )

To crawl up First Boy's body as First Boy would not move for her. "Work is doing important things." She said as she crawled up his side "For example I have to gather food for my Fellow Ants." "What is food?" Asked First Boy Ant sighed irritably and said.. (Twiga )

"Food is something you put in your mouth to live." Said Ant "You go too long without putting Food in your mouth you will die." "Die?" First Boy didn't know what die meant but he already didn't like the sound of it "Yes." Said Ant "When you die you stop.." (Twiga )

"You stop breathing, you stop moving and then you start to turn into dirt." First Boy gasped "I don't want to turn into dirt!" He exclaimed "Where do I find food?" Ant was already crawling down First Boy's other side "There are many kinds of food..." Ant, (Twiga )

Said "Way out to the West is a Wheat Field that we Ants like to gather Wheat from." "Wheat?" Asked First Boy "Uh huh." Said Ant "Think of grass but much taller with tiny seeds at the end of their stalks. The part we eat are the tiny seeds." First Boy then (Twiga )

Decided he would go find the Wheat, he then decided to stand for the first time, as he began to stand Ant quickly jumped off him and quickly scurried back to her nest, as First Boy stood for the first time on his wobbly skinny legs he heard a distant howl (Twiga )

First Boy was approached by a Wolf "Who are you?" Asked Wolf "I've never seen a creature like you before." "I could say the exact same about you." Said First Boy "My name is Wolf." Said Wolf "I am First Boy." Said First Boy and then he fell over the Wolf. (Twiga )

Back at her nest, an excited ant told of her adventures. No one believed her. "Aw, sit down Aunt Molly! You're drunk!" (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Meanwhile in the Grassy Meadow. Wolf was helping First Boy get untangled from her. "Are you some kind of Bird?" Asked Wolf "I've never seen any creature walk on their hind legs but a Bird." "What is a Bird?" Asked First Boy "That answers that question." (Twiga )

Wolf said First Boy rolled away from Wolf "I am trying to find food." First Boy said "An Ant told me I could find food in a Wheat Field far to the west and if I don't have food I will die." "That is true." Wolf nodded "We Wolves don't eat wheat though..." (Twiga )

"What do you eat?" First Boy asked "We eat meat." Said Wolf "What is meat?" Asked First Boy "You really are innocent aren't you?" Wolf said soothingly "Tell you what...I'll take you to my den where I can give you food. Sit down on my back I'll take you.." (Twiga )

So First Boy sat on Wolf's back and Wolf took First Boy to her den. After they left the grassy meadow and went into the Forest. Two Shadowy Figures emerged and looked at each other "She has taken First Boy? Shall we go after them?" Asked the First of them (Twiga )

"No." Said the other Shadowy Figure"We shall wait and see." Wolf took First Boy to her Den in the forest, First Boy saw her Cubs playing with the bones. Wolf say down and First Boy slid off her back. Wolf handed him a piece of raw meat "Here is meat." (Twiga )

Said Wolf it was a Kidney. First Boy took a bite...It was sweet and warm and delicious beyond all imagining! He eagerly devoured the entire Kidney (Twiga )

"Please, sir. May I have another?" said First Boy. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

And there are many more stories I could tell you about First Boy but I shall save those for another time. In the meantime let us move on to another story (Twiga )

The Spaceship Vitamix was a very Spaceship,it was a Spaceship specifically created to travel to the very edge of the universe. It only went to the edge of the Universe once an Earth-Year. On one of these trips the Pilot I.M. Delicious was feeling a bit.. (Twiga )

Stuffed up, but he wasn't about to let a stuffy nose prevent him from doing his job! "All right Passengers of all Shapes Sizes and Species." He said "We are are almost at our destination so it is time to activate the Black Shield." As he spoke the Black.. (Twiga )

Shield made of super dense Titanium Lead covered the entire Spaceship, even the Pilot's windows, this was when I.M. stepped aside and let his faithful Android Otto Pilot take the controls "The reason we have this Shield." Said I.M. Delicious Is because.. (Twiga )

At the this edge of cosmos there are several new stars being born, the Black Shield is to protect everyone from the ultra-powerful cosmic rays. This is also way our spaceship has no television or radio, such things would be scrambled by the Cosmic Rays.. (Twiga )

"We will be in the new star zone for some time, there may be some slight...Shaking of the spaceship, this is perfectly normal, so I advise all of you to lay back, relax and listen to our beautiful Attendant Miss. Focus tell you some stories..." I.M. said (Twiga )

Miss Focus left to tell the passengers stories in the pitch blackness. While I.M. told the passengers they were passing by new stars and the Black Shield was to protect them from the radiation the truth was much worse. In actuality the ship was... (Twiga )

About to be eaten by a horrific 'Space Dragon' which aren't actually Dragons but the Human Mind can't comprehend them as anything else a horrific being from the blackness of space would eat the Vitamix Ship and the Black Shield served two purposes.... (Twiga )

First and foremost the Titanium Lead Shield would get the ship and its contents through the Space Dragon's digestive system unharmed. And more importantly the Black Shield keeping everyone literally in the dark about what was actually happening to them (Twiga )

Prevented everyone from going mad! To gaze upon the Space Dragon was to go mad, which is why the Human Crew who knew about it, still didn't know what it looked like and so when the Black Shield covered all the spaceship only an Android built with... (Twiga )

...CPS (Cosmic Positioning System) Could navigate the ship safely through the Cosmic Dragon's digestive system. "You feeling up to this Otto?" Asked I.M."Affirmative." Said Otto "I have navigated this digestive tract many time before." "Okey dokey." Said (Twiga )

I.M. "You do your thing...While I lie down for a bit." Meanwhile Miss Focus was in the with the Passengers about to tell them the first of a few stories while the Passengers lay back never suspecting what was actually happening outside. Miss Focus began.. (Twiga )

"Once upon a time...On a Faraway Planet, there was a Beautiful Princess with Long Golden Hair and Delicate Blue Eyes...While this Princess was beautiful she was also spoiled rotten...She had an Ugly Servant who while ugly was also kind and sweet one day.. (Twiga )

The Princess found a golden hair among her food pills! It couldn't have been hers as the Princess did not have golden hair but her ugly servant did. The Princess ordered that the Ugly Servant be banished from the Kingdom! (Twiga )

"What?!" said the servant. "Banish me just because one of me hairs fell among your precious food pills? What about my years of good service? A hair is such a tiny thing." (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

The Servant Protested but to no avail, she was banished from the Kingdom, the Servant whose name was Alice, wandered into the barren land outside the Kingdom and sat on a rock and cried her eyes out. Just then! Something popped out the ground! It was a... (Twiga )

Naked Mole Rat Humanimal! Alice had never seen such a thing in her life and she screamed! "Don't be afraid!" Said the Naked Mole Rat Man "I won't hurt you!" Who are you?" Asked Alice "Call me 47." Said the Naked Mole Rat "Everyone else does." Alice looked (Twiga )

At the Strange Creature "What are you?" She asked "I'm a Naked Mole Rat Humanimal." Said 47 "What is a Naked Mole Rat Humanimal?" Asked Alice for in the Kingdom she came from there were no Animals not even Humanimals. "Well..." Said 47 "You see..." (Twiga )

"We Humanimals and all other Animals were banished from the Kingdom long,long ago." Alice sighed "I have been banished from the Kingdom as well." 47 smiled "Well why don't you come live with us Humanimals? We got lots of food and fun stuff!" Alice thought (Twiga )

Alice thought that was a good plan. It was better than starving to death. 47 took her to the Humanimal Village. Alice was flabbergasted to see such a variety of talking animals. There was a little cottage that was empty and they offered it to her. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

47 asked Alice if she would join the Humanimals for 'The Feast of Frith' Alice said she would. At the Feast the Lioness named Leona came and sniffed Alice "I know you..." She said "You were my Cub! Stolen from me and turned into a human!" Everyone gasped! (Twiga )

Alice exclaimed "I'm your cub? How can that be?" "You really don't remember me do you?" Leona sighed "I would know that golden hair of yours anywhere." The Tortoise Wizard examined Alice "She has had a spell placed on her." Said the Tortoise "But I think, (Twiga )

New Story! There once was a Dragon named Gorbash who was the protector of a Kingdom of Freedona a Kingdom comprised of Humans and the Gorbash was from long line of Green Dragons who protected the kingdom from danger. (Twiga )

Unlike the other dragons, Gorbash had no fire in his belly and no flame in his mouth. "What good is a dragon who can't breathe fire?" everybody said. Gorbash felt very self-conscious about it, like he wasn't really a true dragon. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Gorbash would sometimes hang out with the 'Emerald Knights' of Freedonia who didn't do too much Knightly Stuff anymore, most of the time they played Poker and Backgammon with each other and Gorbash would watch them. One Knight a Knight named Sir Dorkilson (Twiga )

Game in with a bag of...Something "Hey! Hey!" Said Sir Dorkilson in his nebbish voice "You'll never believe what I've found!" "What did you find?" Asked Sir Galavad "A brand new game!" Said the Nerdy Knight "This game you won't believe!" The Other Knights (Twiga )

Looked at each other, the Nerdy Sir Dorkilson was always getting himself wrapped up in the latest fads...Last month it was Pogs, the month before that it was...Pet Rocks. "I found this book." Said Sir Dorkilson "A book of adventures! Perfect for Knights " (Twiga )

"It's called...Dungeons & Dragons!" The place was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. "Isn't...anyone interested?" Asked Sir Dorkilson "I'm interested." Said Gorbash "Anything with Draon in the title has got to be interesting!" The Knights looked around.. (Twiga )

"That's right," Gorbash said. "I'm a dragon, but don't worry. I don't breathe fire and I like knights." Sir Dorkilson frowned. "Sooo, you are some kind of weird dragon?" Gorbash shrugged. "I don't like the word weird. I prefer special or different." (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

"Are you a lawyer?" Steve asked. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

"I don't know why. I just don't feel hungry. I feel tired and sleepy. Can I go to bed now?" Her Mom watched Truffles trudge off to bed and a look of worry clouded her face. Truffles was usually so alert and energetic. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

"Was that a gunshot?" murmured the Queen. The king climbed out of bed and doffed his royal robe. "I am afraid so, my love. I must go and investigate." (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

the ground and lay there looking pitiful. The young son of one of the hunters knelt down beside him. "Oh, father. This poor little bird is hurt. We must help him." (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

named Oz, was one of the most talented dragons in existence. Not only could he sing and dance, but he could play five different musical instruments, do acrobatics, and was a good juggler as well. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

They even had cupcakes and chocolate ice cream. "I feel like it's my birthday!" Locksley said. Truffles laughed. "We eat like this all the time. Have another marshmallow." (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

smelled the puke, she found it and cleaned it up and got very mad at Locksley for being so messy. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

in walked the robot. It was even more terrifying than Mason Dixon had imagined! It had red lights for eyes and a horrible buzzing voice: Are youzz the human who wantzz a bikini wax? (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Damian was an arrogant bird. He knew everyone was afraid of him because of his petrifying stare. He liked to suddenly glare at someone and make them think they were going to be petrified. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Damian began to sway his head back and forth in time with Pati's moves. Then he stepped from side to side with his big feet. Pati continued to dance and prance. She smiled to see the big bird's moves. Would he take a chance? (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Would finally take flight? Pati watched him dance faster and faster until he was a blur. Suddenly, he stretched out his wings, reduced his size by half and flew out the window. (dragonwoman )

into a room full of... (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

The fugitive stood up, dusted off his knees, and said, "What is this? A war party?" The scouts started whooping loudly and doing a war dance. A sniper said, "You just had to say party, didn't you? We're preparing to invade. Are you with us or not?" (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

"I don't know if I'm with you or not," said the Fugitive. "Who are you planning to invade and why?" (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

"I think you're all drunk and don't know what team you are," said the Fugitive. The scout whooped and hollered and laughed insanely. "You got that right! You got that right!" (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

The Fugitive's niece was a big fan of "The Greenest Martian", a long-running comic book about the greenest Martian of them all. He was so green he made the rest of the Martians look like dull olives. He was almost fluorescent in his greenness. However... (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

The Fugitive's niece did not write fan fiction about the Greenest Martian's greenness. Instead, she focused on his compassion for other species and how he fought against the Martian Supremacists. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

"Now you will be drunk like us," said the Demonman. "You will experience the happiness of irresponsibility and the joy of tripping over your own feet and sending yourself into fits of laughter." (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" Said the Young Author His friend was unperturbed by the insult "This is Monster Mash-Up." Said his Friend "My favorite game ever." A Young Woman player described her PC for the Table "I'm an 8th Level Martian Valkyrie." (Twiga )

"And what might that be?" asked the Young Author. "Some kind of green lady thing with horns?" (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Once upon a time in the Enchanted Land of New York City lived four special Turtles named after Renaissance artists. These Four Turtles were the protectors of New York City which had gone through some serious changes as of late (Twiga )

You see a month ago a whole bunch of other Mutant Animals had come out of the woodwork and stormed New York City with the intent of taking it over, lots of Humans and Mutants died but in the end Peace was restored (Twiga )

by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Not long after that they were offered the chance to star in their own TV show and possibly a movies. Greedily, they accepted and became a franchise. Now they could sue anyone who tried to use the TMNT logo. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

You are a Human who a Human who is interested in Mutant Studies, late at night you receive your package. You open to find a bunch of VHS Tapes, they are all Amateur Porn Featuring Mutants Sometimes it's Mutant/Human sometimes it's Mutant/Mutant you take, (Twiga )

your time examining them. You know you should report them to the authorities, but your curiosity compels you to watch them first. Of course, you knew mutants had sex, but you didn't know how. It seems there is more than one way to do it. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

You look at the titles 'Mongrel gets gang banged by Humans' Not yet you decide with the classic porn story 'Pizza Delivery Guy has sex with Customer' the Pizza Guy is a Normal Human his Customer is is Female King Cobra Mutant, she quickly coils around the (Twiga )

Pizza Delivery Guy, however she had no intention to eat the human, instead she intends to mate with him six ways till Tuesday! This is where you learn Snakes have no separation between the lion and the anus Reptiles have a cloaca maybe you should have.. (Twiga )

Watched the mongrel gang bang instead the Snake/Human sex seems really unsanitary, especially considering they seem to be having sex in an actual swamp. You begin looking at a picture book while listening to the movie to avoid triggering your gag reflex (Twiga )

Of course at a certain points even the sounds are beginning to trigger your gag reflex, you quickly stop the movie and eject the cassette. You take a quick break, gargle some water, then return to the package, maybe something with two males instead (Twiga )

Then you see a VHS with the title 'Mutant with Captive Human' You can't resist the idea of captive human so choose this one, the Human is Male and the Mutant is Female...And a Dairy Cow of all things. She appears to be taking the man into a Barn to mate.. (Twiga )

But no, she attaches him to a milking machine. A look of horror comes on his face. The cow laughs. "Now you will know what it's like to feel udder desperation." (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

You die instantly from the sheer horror of it. (Twiga )

Time for a new story! Once upon a time a Guy named Steve lived in a Swamp. He loved the Swamp and the Swamp and the Swamp loved him. He loved eating beans out of a can. One day he was having breakfast when he heard a strange sound coming from the Swamp.. (Twiga )

It sounded like some strange laughter! Steve looked out his window and he saw something coming from the Swamp! It looked like a Skeleton wearing a Space Suit! The Skeleton was laughing the strange laugh! Steve gasped and shut his window! The Skeleton..... (Twiga )

The Skeleton shambled to the Shack of another man who claimed to be French saying his name was Bleupear...The Skeleton spied the Man sitting by himself (Twiga )

eating a blue pear. "Hello!" said the space-suited skeleton. "I'm from Alabama but I don't have a banjo on my knee. What do you think of that?" Bleupear said, "I think you are crazy, but I have a job for you to do." (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

"I need you to travel to a faraway place." Said the Skeleton "What kind of place?" Asked Bleupear "Another dimension," Said the Skeleton "I need you to get something that was stolen from me long long ago..." (Twiga )

"What was this 'Thing' stolen from you?" Asked Bleupear "I'll give you these special goggles." Said the Skeleton "When you wear them if you see the thing that was stolen from you it will have an iridescent glow." The Skeleton then formed a Space Portal.. (Twiga )

And shoved Bleupear through the portal. Bleupear found himself in a land of sunshine and rainbows,brightly colored flowers grew in great profusion a furry and feathered critter romped through the green meadows. Bleupear was unsure what to think about this (Twiga )

Meanwhile somewhere in Toon Town a sinister plot was beginning to unfold. Some Young People wearing concealing black cloaks gathered around a circle of standing stones the Youths shed the cloaks revealing they were naked underneath and then they began to (Twiga )

sing a song about the circle of stones and how it had stood there for a million years and was enchanted with a powerful magick. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Time for a different story! Once upon a time, lived a Writer who struggled to decide what she wanted to write. It seemed every time she started to write a story. She got distracted by something else and never finished her first story (Twiga )

This is called Banana Syndrome, first observed in monkeys who would start eating one banana from a bunch only to see a banana that they thought looked even better. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

The Writer was weary from her own indecisiveness she finally managed to fall asleep and 3 AM. And she began to dream a marvelous dream! She dreamed she was in a lush forest with many different kinds Animals Australian Marsupials were grazing alongside .. (Twiga )

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