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Just a Fun Story for the Week of Valentines Day an Improvise Story let's see where it goes |
| [Introduction]
Not much to say other then the story must feature Valentines Day in someway, most anything goes, we can be a bit raunchy due to the Holiday we're celebrating
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| In the Holiday Land of Halloween Town Jack Skellington was rereading some of his Favorite English Literature when he heard something loudly SMACK against his bedroom window. "What could THAT have been?" The Pumpkin King asked himself as he opened the window. He looked down and saw Cupid had flown into his window like a Bird again. "Cupid." Jack said "How many times have I warned you about doing that?" |
| "It's not my fault!" Cupid yelled, in a tone that sounded more like a grumpy 50-year old man, and less like a 3-year old toddler. He then pulled out a cigar, lit it, and started smoking it. Jack wrinkled his nostril cavity at the smell. "Mind putting that thing out? I don't like tobacco smoke." "You like everything else on fire," said Cupid. "I think you're confusing me with someone else," said Jack. "What are you doing here?" "I need a little bit of help," said Cupid. "Some jerk is messing up my gig. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind those gag gifts like those penis things to try to encourage things, or sending dog crap to ex-lovers, but what this guy is doing is just sick." "What's this guy up to?" Jack asked. "You know your attempt to take over Christmas?" Cupid asked. Jack chuckled nervously. "I remember." "Easily ten times worse," said Cupid. "At least your intentions were good, if misunderstood, due to your lack of knowledge over that holiday." "It's a good thing we've all started sharing information about each other's holidays, just in case we need to fill in for one another," said Jack. "Yeah, well, this guy is just going to ruin Valentine's Day," said Cupid. "This guy is chopping up peoples' lovers and mailing the pieces to them. Granted, they were cheating on their husbands and wives, but the last thing anyone wants to find is a body part in the mail. I mean, suppose some kid opened them? They'd be scarred for life! They'd never accept a Valentine's Day gift in the future, which cuts down on my business." "Real body parts?" Jack asked. "I can get behind sending disgustingly flavored cakes and whatnot that have messages like 'Your Cheating Heart' or 'For Your Limp Penis', which are shaped like said body parts, but I believe the actual mailing of the real thing is against more than a few laws," said Cupid, as he puffed on the cigar. "So, you going to help me or not?" "I'll think about it if you put that thing out," said Jack. Cupid put the cigar out. "Good. Got to ask the turkey and the fat guy. I already talked to the furry sex maniac and the green fairy, and the other guys before you." "You know, you're not very nice," said Jack. "Hey, you try having the love lust of a fifty-year old, with the body of a three-year old," said Cupid. "I'm supposed to be the sender of love, and I can't get any action myself!" "There's bound to be someone for you," said Jack. "I would know." "Does your wife have a sister?" Cupid asked. "I'd date a freaking corpse if it meant that I wasn't alone on Valentine's Day, like I have been the last few centuries." |
| Jack looked around, and saw representatives from every holiday, large and small. There was even a figure in a black robe carrying a scythe, riding a white horse. "So, what holiday do you represent?" he asked. "The Autumn Harvest?" I AM NOT A HOLIDAY, the figure intoned into the skeleton's skull. I AM DEATH. "You mean you embody the end of a mortal's life?" Jack asked. HOLIDAY LIVES AS WELL, the figure intoned. "I thought that you'd be scarier," said Jack. THIS FORM IS MUCH EASIER TO MAINTAIN, the figure intoned. "You talk kind of funny," said Jack. "It's like everything is in capital letters." BECAUSE I PUT THE WORDS IN YOUR SKULL, the figure intoned. ALL OF MY WORDS ARE FINAL. "Nice horse," said Jack. "What's his name?" CUDDLES. Jack blinked. "I thought he'd be called Destruction, or Devastation, or some such thing." MY DAUGHTER NAMED HIM. "Daughter?" Jack asked. SHE'S ADOPTED, the figure intoned. SHE WAS IN A SHIPWRECK, SOUL SURVIVOR. TRAGIC. ONE DEGREE TO ONE SIDE OR THE OTHER, AND ALL ABOARD WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE, SAVE FOR THE FELLA WITH THE HEART ISSUE. "So, why are you here?" Jack asked. SOME OF THE VICTIMS WERE DUE TO LIVE A WHILE LONGER STILL, the figure intoned. ONE WAS DUE TO LIVE ANOTHER FIFTY YEARS. THERE'S A SLIGHT IMBALANCE, AND I MUST SEE TO IT THAT IT IS CORRECTED. "So, what are you going to do?" Jack asked. SOME PEOPLE WILL GET AN EXTRA DAY OR TWO TO LIVE, the figure intoned. BUT, IF THIS PERSON REALIZES WHAT'S GOING ON, AND KILLS PEOPLE BEFORE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO DIE, THEY COULD PROLONG THEIR OWN LIFE. "And that's bad, right?" Jack asked. VERY. AVERAGE LIFE EXPECTANCY IS ABOUT SEVENTY YEARS. KILL ENOUGH PEOPLE, AND IT WOULD ADD UP. "Couldn't you do something about it?" Jack asked. I WISH. BUT, RULES FORBID ME TO END A LIFE BEFORE ITS TIME. RUINS THINGS IF I DO THAT, EVEN IF MY INTENTIONS WERE GOOD. THUS, YOU HAVE TYRANTS AND MURDERS LIVING A LONG TIME, UNTIL THEIR TIME IS UP. The figure pulled out an hourglass, tapped on hit. AND THIS ONE STILL HAS AT LEAST FIFTY YEARS BEFORE I CAN CLAIM HIM. "Is that the person responsible for this?" Jack asked. NO. THIS ONE IS SOMEONE ELSE. RULES FORBID ME FROM GIVING YOU THEIR NAME, WHICH IS ANNOYING, I'LL ADMIT. "So, you're here mainly for moral support," said Jack. YES. AND TO CLAIM A SOUL, IF THE OPPORTUNITY OCCURS. |
| As everyone began to settle down to listen to Cupid's Speech suddenly a new figure no one seemed to know appeared in the Wood a figure covered head to toe in a white robe. "Who are you?" Asked Cupid "I..." Came a soft feminine voice "...Am The Lady of Love." "You mean...Venus?" Asked Cupid "No." The Lady pulled down her hood revealing the face of a white vixen with sky blue eyes "I am the leader of the Holiday the Festival of Love." "What are you talking about?" Asked Cupid "I'm the Holiday of Love!" "For Humans." The Lady said mildly "But for the Creatures called Humanimals the Celebration of Love takes place in May not February and it is celebrated for an entire week." Other Holiday Leaders felt a bit envious "It is only these days after Humans started participating in this Humanimal Holiday did we get enough Belief Strength to Form a Land for ourselves everyone looked at the circle of trees and they saw a new tree with a door shaped like a cloven hoof. |
| "That's interesting," said Jack. "Never seen that before." I HAVE, intoned Death. SEEN IT ALL BEFORE. IT'S BELIEF IN ACTION. OF COURSE, WHEN BELIEF DIES, SO DOES THE HOLIDAY. "You can't be serious," said Jack. "You can't kill a holiday." Death looked at him. WHEN NO ONE BELIEVES IN IT, OR PRACTICES IT, THE HOLIDAY DIES. SEEN IT BEFORE. CIVILIZATIONS THAT ONCE EXISTED HAD THEIR HOLIDAYS. WHEN THE CIVILIZATION DIED, SO DID THE HOLIDAY. THE ONLY WAY TO AVOID IT WAS TO BE ADOPTED BY ANOTHER CIVILIZATION, IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER. MAYANS HAD HOLIDAYS, SAME WITH INCAS. THEY DIED, AND SO DID THEIR HOLIDAYS. AT THE VERY LEAST, THEY DIDN'T PRACTICE THE HOLIDAYS, WHICH LEAD TO THE DEATH OF THE HOLIDAYS. |
| Cupid wasn't paying attention to the conversation between Jack and Death and he looked at the Vixen "Are you the one who's been chopping cheaters and mailing the pats to the Cheaters' families?" The Vixen's lips curled back in disgust "Oh surely not!" She said "I am not in competition with you Cupid I merely am content with my own Kingdom which isn't exactly the same as your Holiday. But I am genuinely concerned about this trouble which I why I came to this meeting." |
| SHE HAS GOOD REASON TO BE WORRIED, intoned Death. SHE IS NEW. NOT MANY FOLLOWERS. TOO MANY DIE, SO DOES SHE. "What?" Cupid asked. DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I JUST TOLD JACK? intoned Death. "Okay, what's with the freaking mind talking thing?" Cupid asked. Death looked at Jack. HE NEEDS A COMPANION, OR SOMETHING. "Listen ugly, I don't need to put up with your shtick," said Cupid. "I just want the guy messing with my day stopped!" YOU NEED A FRIEND, intoned Death. IT WILL HELP YOU TO LIGHTEN UP. MY DAUGHTER ALWAYS WANTS TO GO FISHING, SO I TAKE HER. MY SERVANT TELLS ME I NEED A SENSE OF HUMOR, STILL WORKING ON THAT ONE, BIT IT IS THE EFFORT THAT COUNTS. "You have a servant?" Jack asked. THERE IS A SPELL MAGIC USERS USE TO SUMMON ME TO ASK QUESTIONS OF ME FOR WHEN THEY SEEK GREAT KNOWLEDGE. HE THOUGHT BY DOING AND SAYING THE SPELL BACKWARDS, HE COULD KEEP ME AWAY FROM HIM, AND THUS ALLOW HIM TO LIVE FOREVER, FOR HE WAS DUE TO DIE SOON, AND FEARED WHAT WOULD HAPPEN AFTERWARDS TO HIS SOUL, intoned Death. HOWEVER, INSTEAD OF REPEALING ME FROM HIM, IT BROUGHT HIM TO ME, AND MY REALM. OF COURSE, SINCE TIME DOESN'T PASS IN MY REALM, AS SUCH AS ONE CALLS TIME, HE CAN LIVE FOREVER, SO LONG AS HE DOESN'T LEAVE MY REALM. IT HAS ITS USES, AS I CAN NOW UNDERSTAND HUMANS BETTER AS A RESULT OF KNOWING HIM FOR SO LONG, AND BECAUSE HE UNDERSTANDS HUMAN NATURE. "How does that benefit you?" Cupid asked. I HAVE SYMPATHY AND EMPATHY FOR THESE SHORT-LIVED MORTALS, intoned Death. THUS, I SEE TO IT THAT THEIR PASSING IS QUICK, AND PAINLESS. THAT, AND THEY THROW SOME FANTASTIC PARTIES. I WISH I COULD EXPRESS EMOTIONS, SUCH AS JOY, BUT I HAVE FUN. |
| The Easter Bunny though initially alarmed to see an Anthropomorphic Vixen stood and said "Why don't we focus here? Someone is messing with Cupid's Holiday and we don't know who...If this person is truly Mad he or she could start messing with all our Holidays too!" Meanwhile somewhere in Detroit Michigan of Third Earth (The Earth the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live upon) A Mutant Black Cat with a strange curly twist in his tail due to a cartilage birth defect and napping in his bed when his Human 'Mom' came in "Jake Dear." She said "Have you thought about what you want for supper?" Jake Claw yawned and stretched as only a Cat can and said "I've really been craving Italian today." His Mom, Mrs. Savicky sighed "I've been craving Thai." She said |
| (Hey Twiga - I'm trying to base Death off of the Discworld series' Death, as shown here - http://discworld.wikia.com/wiki/Death) "There is that new mixed ethnic place we could try," said Jake. "The paper says they have a little bit of everything - Asian, African, Creole, different European dishes, different South American dishes, and so on. It would be worth a try." |
| Meanwhile in the sewers, the Turtles are busy training but Raphiel came in looking angry, "Mikey, I know you like to play jokes but this one makes me sick to my stomach!" Mikey says "What are you talking about Raph?" Raphiel holds up a decapitated head. Mikey looked at it shocked "That's not mine, where did you find that?" |
| (BBWolf Oh I know about Discord I believe I was a fan before you were) The Head was not a Human Head Raph was holding, it was the Head of a Mutant Labrador Retriever...One of those rare Chocolate Brown Ones. "Holy Shell!" Don and Leo took a look at the severed head "This guy is...Or should I say was...I Mutant!" Don exclaimed "But...Where did he come from?" Leo asked Jake and his Mom went to the mixed Ethnic Restaurant, as a Mutant Jake had privileges as he was a Veteran in a Manner of Speaking he had been created during the Gulf War and was a 'Test' for other kinds of Mutant Animal Soldiers, he had saved many a Human Soldier and thus he was granted citizenship. As they were eating they were approached by another Mutant Citizen. Jesse a Mongrel Dog Mutant was looking nervous "Jake," She said "Have you seen my boyfriend James? He disappeared yesterday after we had an argument, I've been looking all over town for him but..." |
| (DiscWorld, not Discord - flat world on the back of 4 giant elephants that stand on the back of a giant turtle, with 41 novels, plus companion books, plus a few made for TV movies, written by one Terry Pratchett. Pokes fun at typical Fantasy stories, along with everything else related to whatever the topic of the book satires. Complete with a sense of humor that can't be mapped.) "I haven't seen him within the last day or so," said Jake. He took out his phone. "Maybe he left a text, or a post, or an email." |
| Meanwhile Master Splinter concentrating on the severed head of the dog mutant which is now mounted on a pole, when Leo came in "Master, what are you doing?" Splinter says "Concentrating how this poor soul met his end. I analyzed that this one fell to a figure trying to ruin a Holiday. I say Valentine's day." Leo says "A cupid of hate? But why send it to us?" |
| "I have the feeling we weren't the ones this head was supposed to be sent to but someone was running interference...Perhaps because we are Mutants as this Dog was." "But who could be running interference?" Asked Leo Meanwhile in Detroit the one who had run interference was a Mysterious She-Wolf Anthro with Blue Fur. "I've sent the Head to the Turtles." She said to herself "It will be a matter of time before they investigate I said Discord instead of Discworld?! Talk about getting your wires crossed But I meant I believe I was a fan of Discworld before you were |
| (Found my first Discworld book - Men at Arms - at a second-hand place a couple of years ago. It was about the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, and how they expanded to include minorities, which included Angua, who fell for the big and strong Carrot, who believed that she'd been hired because she was a woman, not knowing that she was actually a w- *BOOM!* (Great! The Alchemist Guild blew up again.) - awerewolf! Then, after the bed starts creaking, he finds out, she runs out, they look for each other, make up, and, well, I'm sure you know the rest - too bad they never got married. Shortly after that, I borrowed the books related to the City Watch through the library, got curious about the rest of the world, and then started borrowing the rest! I'm on my second run. The series actually inspired me to make my "Big Fat Pig City Guard" interactive, which pays homage to the series. Well, best get to writing.) Death looked around. IF YOU DON'T MIND ME, I HAVE WORK TO DO. SOULS TO COLLECT, AND ALL THAT. ANNOYINGLY, ONE WAS A VICTIM OF THE ONE YOU SEEK, AND WASN'T DUE TO DIE FOR A WHILE YET. LOOK AROUND IN NEW YORK CITY. Jack and the others looked at him. "The Big Apple?" Death nodded. YES. THEY MIGHT BE THERE, OR NEAR THERE. BUT, AS I'VE SAID, I CANNOT REVEAL THEIR IDENTITY, AS MUCH AS I WISH I COULD. OF COURSE, THERE IS ALWAYS DETROIT. |
| The Lady of Love quickly readjusted her hood and began to head to her own Kingdom when she bumped into one of her subjects a Blue Furred She-Wolf "Bluey!" The White Vixen exclaimed "What are you doing here?" "My Lady!" Said The Blue Wolf excitedly "I found some creatures who can help us!" "What are you babbling about?" Asked The Lady of Love "Four Turtles who live in New York City." Said the Blue Wolf "I intercepted one of the Killer's Victims..." "Did you see the Killer?!" Asked The Vixen "What did the Killer look like?" "I didn't get a good look." Sighed Bluey "The Killer Moved so fast seemed like a shadowy blur..." |
| "Interesting," said Jack. "Hey Santa! Got anyone on the Naughty List that matches that description?" "Depends on how old they are," said Santa. "Some people age out, you should know." |
| Jack says “Naughty enough to kill and send out body parts as presents. The kind that fits the description of Cupid’s unknown substitute.” |
| "Jack." Santa said "If this creature isn't even Human it doesn't qualify! I don't give presents to Animals...No offense." He said quickly to the Easter Bunny and the Vixen Lady. Meanwhile back in Detroit Jake called the same Man who created both him and James "Are you sure no one has seen James?" The Black Cat Mutant asked "Positive." Said Mr. Savicky "It seems like James has vanished." "Do you know what Jesse and James were arguing about before he left?" Jake asked "Jesse said she wanted to start a family and James said he wasn't ready yet." |
| "Do you know what happened to him?" Jake asked. "A thousand and one things could have happened," said Dr. Savicky. "Trick's figuring out the most likely one." |
| Bluey came in “I know what happened to James, but I’m afraid it’s bad.” Jake asked “How bad?” “He was killed. I don’t know who it was, but he was fast, too fast for a description I’m afraid. I managed to get James’ head.” |
| "Wait a minute who are you?" Jake asked "I know the Lab was developing Mutant Dogs and Cats but I don't recall anything about Wolves!" Bluey gulped she then realized as she was a Creature derived from the Dreams of the Humanimals of First Earth that didn't mean she would be recognized by the Mutant Animals of Third Earth many of whom were still hidden from Humanity. |
| "Let's just say it's complicated," said Bluey. "There's a lot of things you don't know, or don't need to know. There's lots of Labs making mutants, and not everyone talks to everyone else, okay?" |
| "All right." Said Jake folding his long furry arms "After you retrieved the Retriever's head what did you do with it?" "I mailed it to New York." Said Bluey "WHAT THE ^*T%" Yowled Jake "Why?!" "I know some other Mutants..." Bluey said (Bluey didn't actually 'know' the Turtles but she had spied them through her Crystal Ball) "...Some Turtles." Jake who had no knowledge the TMNT rubbed his temples "Turtles...You sent them to slow moving reptiles." |
| Bluey thought about what her crystal ball had shown her. "They're not as slow as you think they are. In fact, they move somewhat quicker than the average person." |
| Jessie says "Let me guess, these mutant turtles have the same names as famous Renaissance artists." Bluey says "You know them?" Jessie nodded the one called Donnatello saved me from the evil agent Bishop." |
| Since the Gulf War was from 1990 to 1991 and according to 2003 Cartoon Timeline the 4kids Turtles were Mutated in 1987 this will be something done by child Donatello but that's OK we can make this something he doesn't remember wouldn't be the first time "What?!!!" Yowled Jake "When did this happen?! How come you never informed any of us?!" "I wasn't created to be a Soldier..." Jesse said mildly "I was created to be a Companion to a Soldier...When you and James were fighting during the Gulf War I mostly just...Was...Hanging around doing nothing...One day despite the Scientists' warnings against it...I snuck outside the Lab to run around tin the Forest...I was captured by Bishop and taken to New York City! Fortunately the truck that was holding me popped two tires on some broken glass caused by a crime happening that very minute! I bounced out of the truck landing roughly on the sidewalk! But then I felt two cold and tiny hands grab my feet and pull me towards the dark ally...My savior was a Tiny Mutant Turtle wearing a Purple Mask calling himself Donatello." |
| "Okay, I'll go with that," said Jake. "Some other group of mutants that got created somehow, and one of them helped you." "That Bishop always was a nutjob," said Dr. Savicky. "Always on about how aliens were trying to take the place over. There's nothing for them here; we're too primitive to be of much interest. Maybe a stupid shirt stating that they were someplace, and a burger and a soda, maybe a toy and a tank of gas, and then they'd leave. Nothing of interest, really." |
| (Hertz...Do you want out of this campfire? You seem to be Skipping a Whole Lot) "So..." Jake needed to return to the original Subject "...You sent James' head to these...Turtles...Did you also give some explanation of why you were sending a severed Dog's head?" "No." Said The Blue Wolf "I'm confident they will begin the detective work and come to Detroit shortly." Jake frowned "Why are you so sure they will do exactly that?" He asked |
| "You'd be surprised at what they can do," said Bluey. "You'd say that I was a liar if I even told you about half the things they've done." |
| The Turtles examined the head, Donny noticed a collar around it's neck. "It says his name is James, and according to the address on the collar, he's from Detroit, wait a minute, I recall saving a dog mutant named Jessie from Agent Bishop, this got to be her boyfriend and I recall a scientist named Dr. Savicky that took care of them, we should go there and give him back what's left of James for burial." Raph says "James visits New York and gets himself decapitated and ends up in our lair and now you want to return him to Detroit? Do you know how far it is to drive there?" |
| Don then clutched his head "Holy Shell!" Exclaimed amazed "How...How did I remember that? That I met another Mutant and saw Bishop years before he captured us?!" "Donatello." Splinter said quietly "That time I had to hypnotize you to briefly suppress that memory...That time you were five years old...Sneaked out of the lair and to the surface...The Knowledge you had put us all at Great Risk so I had to temporarily suppress those memories until it was time...When she returned to Detroit Jesse said that if we ever needed to come to Detroit she would arrange a ride for us." Meanwhile Jack returned home, Sally kissed him and said to him. "Jack...I had a vision that may help us!" "Oh!" Jack exclaimed "Don't keep us in suspense then." "At first I merely assumed it was a scary dream..." Sally said "...But then after the meeting I realized it was no mere dream...I saw a Woman...She was dead...Her flesh was melting off her leaving only a skeleton...The melted flesh was turning black as pitch then the pitch black substance reformed around the Skeleton and she rose...She took a scythe in her hands and flew into the night..." "So..." Jack stroked his chin "...The killer is a She not a He." |
| "It's possible," said Sally. "Then again, the sushi I had last night seemed to be a little fresh to be eaten." |
| In a Detroit building a man in African-American color dressed Motown-style carrying a bouquet of roses and s heart-shaped box of chocolates comes out of a building to his 1975 Lincoln Continental, "Judy Ann my love, wait until you see me, You maybe my valentine right now but if I play my cards right, you and me may end up going all the way." A female voice says "Love, what a joke. It is a painful emotion." The man says "Who are you to judge the desires of the heart?" The unknown woman says "Let me demonstrate" As the camera cuts away all we hear is a sound of a blade slicing through flesh and the man's death scream the flowers and the box of chocolates fall to the ground covered in blood. |
| Death listened. THAT WOULD BE THE CASE. He turned his head. HOW ANNOYING. I HAVE WORK TO DO. THAT PERSON WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DIE FOR AT LEAST FIFTEEN YEARS. |
| The Turtles then overheard a news story about a Detroit man who's heart was latterly cut out. |
| Master Splinter sighed "I suppose it is time to call Jesse." He said "You have her number?" Leo asked "I have kept it stored in a safe place in case we should ever need it." Splinter said as he went in his room. Meanwhile, Jake and Jesse also saw the news, Because where the Man was murdered had security cameras all around it...Some footage of the killer was caught! It was a tall slender figure with a feminine build, and seemed to be covered head to toe by some black costume! No flesh could be seen! Jake was tossing and turning in bed something about the way that figure moved, seemed unnatural too fast to be human...But didn't seem like any kind of Animal either |
| "What kind of person would do this?" was the question everyone asked themselves. |
| Death says "WAIT A MINUTE! I KNOW HER! SHE WAS EXECUTED SEVERAL YEARS AGO! IN LIFE SHE WAS CALLED THE LOVE KILLER NOW SHE'S SOME KIND OF WRAITH!" |
| The Love Killer was a Lady who killed her boyfriend and his mistress after discovering he had been cheating |
| "I thought that you said that you couldn't reveal who the killer was?" Jack asked. I COULDN'T, intoned Death. THE RULES FORBID ME, UNLESS ANOTHER LIVING PERSON SEES THEM. FOOL GOT CAUGHT ON CAMERA. "So, what happened?" Jack asked. LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY, intoned Death. SHE WAS EXECUTED ON VALENTINE'S DAY, EXACTLY TWO YEARS AFTER THE MURDER OF HER BOYFRIEND AND HIS MISTRESS. IRONIC, DON'T YOU THINK? |
| Meanwhile Jake was studying the footage over and over again in an attempt to figure out what the killer was. "That black covering.." Said Jake "...It doesn't seem to be any kind of cloth...It looks like some sticky tar like substance." |
| Jack looked at Death. "How do we stop her?" Death shrugged his shoulders. BY RIGHTS, SHE SHOULDN'T EXIST. MOST WRAITHS PERISH WHEN THEY'VE GOTTEN THEIR VENGEANCE. THEY HAVE NO REASON THE EXIST, THUS, THEIR ENERGY FADES AWAY. |
| Jack says "Yeah, you're right but why is she so persistent in killing every known Romeo or Juliet in sight?" |
| "I suppose that might anger people," said Jack. "I guess we best find a way to put a stop to her." GOOD LUCK. "Going to need it," said Jack. |
| With the help of Jessie, The Turtles made it to Detroit, Donny gave James' head "Sorry for your loss." Jessie says "I believe I know who is his killer." She shows the security camera footage of the last kill, Mikey says "Oh man, she looks like one of those Cenobite monsters." Raph says "Do you really watch that horror junk?" Authors note: For those who don't know what a Cenobite is, it's those undead goons from the mind of Clive Barker from the Hellraiser series. |
| "What the shell is that?!" Don squinted at the footage "A Wraith." Came a New Voice It was Jack but since he couldn't appear in his normal form outside of Halloween Night, he came disguised and Tall and Thin Black Haired Man. "Who are you?" Asked Raph "My name is Jake Skelly." Jack gave his alias "Paranormal expert." |
| "I'm surprised this guy isn't freaking out around us," said Ralph. "I've seen stranger things than you," said Jack. "You'd be surprised." |
| Leo says "Hello Jake, my name's Leonardo, and these are my brothers Donnatello, Michaelangelo and Raphel." Donny asks "Here's the question, why is this wraith killing people." Jack says, "It is because she's killing them because they cheated." Mikey says "Cheated? As in seeing some other girl kind of cheated?" |
| "Exactly." Said Jack/Jake "Wait!" Jesse exclaimed "My Jake never cheated, sure we had an argument over starting a family but..." "Actually he did." Said Jack/Jake "You see...Several Months ago...James met another Mutant a Mutant Stray Dog who had been born from wandering in a puddle of Green Ooze The Turtles began sweating bullets hearing this. "I know you were created specifically to be James' Mate...But while he did care for you he never loved you the same way you loved him...When he met this Stray Girl he liked her Wild and Crazy Personality you were always too demure and genteel for him." Jesse started weeping "So anything else?" Leo asked "Soon after mating with him, the Stray Girl became pregnant...That is way James freaked out when to spoke about starting a family." |
| (Wasn't James the name of the dead dog? Jake was the cat, and Jack was the skeleton. Names here are worse than my father and uncles were concerned - and they have 4 J's. ) "How do you know this?" Leo asked. "Oh, I know of a skeleton in black robes, who likes to carry a scythe," said Jack. "Nice guy, when he isn't busy, and he's been extra busy, and it seems to bother him." "Wait, are you talking about the Grimm Reaper?" Michelangelo asked. "The usherer of souls from this life to the next?" "The very one," said Jack. "He's a little peeved, because it seems that a number of people who have been murdered weren't due to die for some years yet, and there's some life energy buildup." "So, what's going to happen?" Leo asked. "Some grandparent gets an extra day to spend with their grandchild, as do a number of others," said Jack. "Seems he has to spread it around, so that the life energy isn't focused on any one person." |
| Raph hold up his sais "I'd say let's deal with this wraith." Leo says "Raph, think about it. We are dealing with something supernatural. Far as we know this Wraith could be worse then Shredder." |
| Holy Shell you're right, sorry about that I changed all the Jakes to James "Don't worry." Said Jack "I've called in a specialist." Into the room stepped a most unusual creature. She was rather like a Small Anthropomorphic Cat only she had green fur and yellow eyes with no pupils. "This is Chanchalla." Said Jack "She is a Demon Hunter from another Dimension." What Chanchalla really was was a Fairy Beast from the Fairy Dimension, Fairies and Wraiths are mortal Enemies |
| "How do you know these guys?" Leo asked. Jack chuckled. "I have my ways, which I don't plan on telling, just as you have yours." |
| Chanchalla says "I have analyzed the pattern of this Wraith and I determined who is her next victim is going to be. Now if you excuse me, I'm om my way there and try and stop her from killing him." With that she's out the door. |
| SHE Hertz I described Chanchalla as FEMALE Raph looked at his brothers, "So uh...We just sit here and that Green Kitten will do all the fun stuff?" |
| "She does that all the time," said Jack. "Leaves without telling anyone where she's going. Luckily, I know someone who might be able to help us out." He got out a cell phone. "How do these things work again. Swipe to open. Contacts. Ah, got him. Hey! Where are you at? I meant specifically! Okay. We'll be there." He closed the phone. "The guy's at the Home Garden Store on Seventh and Main." He opened the phone. "Okay, how do Maps work on this thing? Ah. There's the App." He looked at it. "Got it." He closed the phone and muttered, "Where's a paper map when you need one?" A while later, the group stood outside the store, well, the turtles were hiding near it. Tied to a post, was a big white horse. "I'm pretty sure it's illegal to tie a horse to a post around here," said Donatello. "This guy doesn't care about that sort of thing," said Jack. "Here's here, and gone." "This looks like the stupidest looking horse I've every seen," Raphael said as he walked up behind it. The horse snorted, raised a hoof, and kicked the turtle in the groin, sending him flying into a dumpster. Raphael growled as he crawled out. "That's it! You're glue!" He charged the horse. The horse kicked him again, sending him flying, again. "Let's try this again!" Once again, he went flying. "Third time's the charm!" Michelangelo laughed as his brother went flying yet again. "This is too funny. Anyone got popcorn?" A bag appeared in front of the turtle. HERE. "Thanks." Michelangelo took the bag. He took a handful, and tossed it into his mouth, and chewed on it. Then he paused, and looked at who, or more precisely, what, had passed the popcorn. It was a skeleton in a black robe, carrying a scythe. He screamed. "AHHHHH! Don't kill me! I'm too young to die!" The other turtles turned, and Raphael stopped horsing around. The four got into formation, ready to fight. RELAX, the figure intoned. IT IS NOT YOUR TIMES, YET. "That doesn't help much," said Michelangelo. YOU HAVE AT LEAST ANOTHER FORTY YEARS OF LIFE YET, the figure intoned. "And the rest of us?" Raphael asked. AT LEAST AS LONG, SO LONG AS YOU QUIT FOOLING AROUND WITH MY HORSE. The figure stepped forward. NICE DISGUISE, JACK. COULD BE BETTER. A moment later, the figure was wearing a business suit. PEOPLE SEE THE SUIT, BUT NEVER THE FACE. "So, what are you doing here?" Leonardo asked. PURCHASING SOME SEEDS FOR MY GARDEN, the figure intoned. THEN, I HAVE A SOUL TO CLAIM. "Some old dude's going to croak?" Michelangelo asked, with a shudder. YOUNG. HEART ATTACK, BROUGHT ON BY FRIGHT, intoned the figure. The figure shrugged. KARMA REALLY. PERSON'S GOING TO TRY TO ROB THIS PLACE. HE'LL SHOOT SOMEONE. THEN, HE'LL TAKE A HOSTAGE. THEN, HE SEES THE ONE HE SHOT GET UP, HE'LL FREAK OUT, AND HIS HEART WILL GIVE OUT AS A RESULT. "The person he shoots is a cop wearing a vest, right?" Donatello asked. NO. The figure looked at Jack. I SEE YOU HAVEN'T TOLD THEM WHAT YOU ARE. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GETS SHOT. OF COURSE, TO EXPLAIN YOUR SURVIVAL, WE'RE GOING TO STOP BY THE SEED SECTION, AND WE'RE GOING TO PICK UP SOME PUMPKIN SEEDS, AND PLACE THEM IN YOUR SHIRT POCKET, RIGHT WHERE YOUR HEART AND ONE LUNG SHOULD BE. PEOPLE WILL THINK THAT THE SEEDS STOPPED THE BULLET. "Are you telling me that I'm going to frighten someone to death?" Jack asked. DIDN'T SAY THAT, intoned Death. HE SCARE HIS OWN SELF. YOU PROTECT THE CHILD HE TRIED TO TAKE HOSTAGE. THAT REMINDS ME, CHILDREN SEE YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE, FOR THEY HAVEN"T CLOSED THEIR MIND TO THE IMPOSSIBLE, YET. THE SAME IS TRUE FOR ME. "What are you talking about?" Leonardo asked. "We see you just fine, and we're not children." I LET YOU SEE ME, the figure intoned. "So tell me," said Leonardo. "How long is Master-" LONG ENOUGH TO SEE HIS FIRST TWO GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, the figure intoned. AT THE VERY LEAST, HE'LL SEE THE FIRST TWO, POSSIBLY MORE. LIKEWISE, YOU COULD LIVE LONGER THAN ANOTHER FORTY YEARS, MAYBE YOU'LL LIVE TO BE OVER A HUNDRED. I CANNOT REVEAL THE WHENS OF PEOPLE'S ENDS, ONLY THAT THEY WILL END, AND I'LL BE THERE TO LEAD THEM INTO THE NEXT WORLD. NOW, I HAVE SOME SEEDS TO BUY. THERE'S THIS WHITE CUCUMBER I WANT TO TRY, ALONG WITH SOME YELLOW ZUCCHINI, NOT TO MENTION THIS ORANGE-FLESHED WATERMELON. |
| The Wraith Appeared ready to strike her victim but then Chanchalla appeared, like a furious green tornado she swiped with her clews tearing a hole in the Wraith's side! |
| Death turned his head. THAT'S INTERESTING. "What?" Jack asked. YOUR FRIEND HAS LOCATED THE WRAITH, intoned Death. SHE'LL NEED HELP THOUGH. "Well, what are we waiting for?" Michelangelo asked. "Let's get going." NOT YET, intoned Death. THERE IS STILL THE MATTER OF THE SOUL I HAVE TO COLLECT HERE. "Can't it wait?" Leonardo asked. IT CANNOT, intoned Death. IF I FAIL TO HARVEST THIS SOUL, THE EXCESS LIFE ENERGY THAT'S FLOATING AROUND WILL ENTER THEM, AND THAT WILL LEAD TO MORE PROBLEMS. POLICE OFFICERS AND SWAT WILL TRY TO SHOOT HIM, ONLY TO FIND HIM PROOF AGAINST THEIR BULLETS. HE'LL ALSO KILL A LOT OF PEOPLE, BEFORE THEIR TIME, GIVING HIM MORE LIFE ENERGY. THAT IS WHY PEOPLE DIE WHEN THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO DIE. IF THE BALANCE GETS DISTURBED, IT TRIES TO EQUALIZE THINGS. SOMETIMES THINGS GO WRONG, HORRIBLY WRONG. "So, this guy has to die, or else it will lead to the end of life as we know it?" Raphael asked. IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING, intoned Death. THINK OF IT AS PICKING FRUIT; UNDER-RIPE, YOU CANNOT EAT IT. JUST RIPE, DELICIOUS. OVERRIPE, AND YOU GOT PROBLEMS. "So, I'm just a catalyst, I don't actually do the deed?" Jack asked. NO POWERS ARE NEEDED, intoned Death. JUST THE SIGHT OF YOU GETTING UP, JUST AFTER BEING SHOT, AND GETTING THE HOSTAGE AWAY FROM HIM WILL BE ENOUGH TO TRIGGER THE HEART ATTACK. BAD GENES REALLY, HE WAS GOING TO GO OUT VIA SUICIDE BY COP. HEART ATTACK WILL BE EASIER ON HIS FAMILY. HE'LL STILL DIE A CRIMINAL, BUT AT LEAST A DEATH VIA NATURAL CAUSES WILL PREVENT A GREATER TRAGEDY FROM OCCURRING. "What about the Wraith?" Donatello asked. I AM ALREADY THERE, intoned Death. THERE WILL BE A SOUL TO COLLECT. "How can you be both here, and there?" Leonardo asked. I AM EVERYWHERE, AND EVERYWHEN, intoned Death. I AM AT YOUR MASTER'S DEATHBED. I AM AT YOUR DEATHBED. I AM AT SHREDDER'S DEATH. I AM AT APRIL O'NEIL'S DEATHBED. I AM AT EVERYONE'S DEATH. "How?" Michelangelo asked. THROUGH A MEANS BEYOND ANY MORTAL'S UNDERSTANDING, intoned Death. He took out what looked to be an hourglass. COME. TIME IS COMING. YOU STILL NEED YOUR SEEDS. "Does it have to be pumpkin seeds?" Jack asked. "I like pumpkins. Can't we use squash instead?" IT IS THEIR TIME TOO, intoned Death. GOOD NEWS IS, YOU'LL GET SOME FOR FREE, SINCE THE ONES YOU'D BEEN PLANNING TO BUY GET DESTROYED WHILE SAVING YOUR LIFE, OR SO THEY'LL THINK. SHAME FOR THE ONE SEED THOUGH, IT COULD HAVE BEEN A CONTENDER FOR THE LARGEST PUMPKIN IN THE WORLD. |
| Fortunately, the Chanchalla got to the Wraith before she could make the kill. The victim is one of those Love Doctors who gives dating tips on a pay per minute phone service. |
| Jack and Death were in the store. Death had a basket, and was placing seeds in it. PURPLE BEANS. HOW INTERESTING. He picked up another packet. RAINBOW MIXED CARROTS; BEEN LOOKING FOR THESE. "So, just what's so important about this guy?" Jack asked. He looked at the pumpkin seeds. "This thing can get over a thousand pounds? That's a big Jack-O'Lantern." NOT TO MENTION A LOT OF PUMPKIN PIE. Death took the packet, and stuffed it into Jack's breast pocket. Death did the same with several other packets. SOMETIMES THE SEEMINGLY BIG DEATHS SEEM TO BE IMPORTANT, BUT ARE ACTUALLY NOTHING COMPARED TO THE IMPORTANT DEATHS, WHICH SEEM TO BE UNIMPORTANT. SAVE THE HOSTAGE, FOR THEY WILL BE IMPORTANT. "Why is that?" Jack asked. FOR THEY WILL BRING ABOUT A CURE TO A DEADLY DISEASE, intoned Death. EITHER THEY MAKE THE CURE THEMSELVES, INSPIRE SOMEONE WHO MAKES THE CURE, OR THEY ARE A SUCCESSFUL TEST RUN FOR THE CURE, OR THEY ARE JUST A JANITOR THAT BRINGS THE SCIENTIST THE CUP OF COFFEE THEY NEED TO COMPLETE THE CURE. THEY ARE IMPORTANT NONETHELESS. "So, this is less about taking one soul, and more about saving hundreds, if not more," said Jack. Death nodded. THAT IS CORRECT. Jack looked at the seed packets. He looked at Death. "Alright. I'll do my part." GOOD, intoned Death. GET IN LINE. REGISTER 6. HE IS JUST ABOUT TO SHOW UP. HE'LL SHOOT YOU, AND TAKE THE LITTLE GIRL HOSTAGE. SHE'LL CALL YOU THE 'FUNNY LOOKING SKELETON MAN.' SAVE HER, ONCE YOU GET UP. NATURE WILL TAKE CARE OF THE REST. THEN, I'LL BE THERE TO CLAIM THE SOUL I'M AFTER. |
| Author's note: to those who own either a PlayStation 4 or Xbox One, The game Injustice 2 now has The Turtles as DLC.(The plot is self explanatory.) The Turtles watch as the Chanchalla and the Wraith battle each other, Mikey says "Whoa, look how quick they are." Raph pulls out his sais "Can't let that cat have all the fun." Leo says "Raph, don't." With a break in the action, the Wraith sees Raph approaching, with one swipe of her scyth, she cuts through a nearby metal fence and it flies towards Raph. Don yells "Raph! Look out!" Raph sees what is happening and flips back as the fence lands on the ground. Raph says "That was close." |
| Jake finally arrived in his car and was amazed to see what looked like a Green Kitten tearing a hole in the side of the Wraith |
| "What in the world?" he asked. "Might want to be careful," said Leo. At the same time, Jack was in line at the register. He was nervous. It was his first time in a line like this. Then, there was the little girl; she was in front of him, looking back at him. "Mommy; there's a skeleton man behind you." The mother groaned, turned, and apologized. "I'm sorry if she's bothering you." "It's alright," said Jack. "I don't get out much. I just stopped by to get some pumpkin seeds." He tapped his breast pocket. "I uh, forgot to get a basket." The woman chuckled. "Make sure you empty them. They don't like shoplifters here." "Who'd blame them," said Jack. That was when several things occurred at about the same time; something hit Jack in the chest, causing him to crash into the cart behind him, a masked figure ran up, and grabbed the child. "Anyone moves, and the little girl gets it!" Jack placed a hand on his chest, and saw the hole in his shirt pocket, and a few pieces of pumpkin seeds fell out. He'd had worse, but was annoyed at seeing the ruined seeds. That was when he sensed fear. He looked up, and saw that the little girl was scared. He growled; the only one who had any right to do any scaring was him, and only for Halloween! He lunged forward, snatching the girl away from the masked figure. He glared at the figure. That was when he sensed the fear coming from the man. Then, the man started to hyperventilate, and the skin that Jack could see, became very pale. Then, the man dropped, and was still. Jack kicked the gun away from the man's hand. "Medical emergency!" the cashier announced into the PA system. "Looks like a heart attack. Call 911 if they aren't already on the way!" "Is he dead?" the girl asked. "I don't know," said Jack. HE'S DEAD, intoned Death. THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO GET HERE IN TIME. "Are you alright?" the girl asked. Jack checked his pocket, and pulled out the packets of ruined pumpkin seeds, as well as the bullet. He chuckled nervously. "I like pumpkins." He then saw Death look at the hour glass in his hand, place it inside his suit, take out his scythe, and swing it. That was when he saw a shadowy figure. "What happened?" the figure asked. "I wasn't supposed to die like that! I was supposed to go out in a blaze of glory!" HEART ATTACKS CAN BE VERY SUDDEN, intoned Death. "He's not human," the figure said. YOU ARE CORRECT, intoned Death. NEVERTHELESS, IT IS TIME FOR US TO GO. "Um, where am I going to go?" the figure asked. THAT IS UP TO YOU, intoned Death. |
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