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An anthropomorphic team of monster hunters has adventures throughout time and space |
| [Introduction]
. The Monster Mashers Mango Team consists of Jerry the Gecko George the Wolf Petunia the Pig Butch the Lion Monster Mashers adventures last for approximately 50 additions and can be anywhere in time and space. Clickable Links Chapter One: Invasion of the Hitler Nanobots Chapter Two: The Succubus (Part 1) Chapter Three: Wrath of the Leprechaun Chapter Four: The Succubus (Part 2) Chapter Five: The Straw Baby Chapter Six: Dragon Fire Chapter Seven: The Giant Anteater Chapter Eight: Storm in Jamaica Chapter Nine: Smiley Burnett Chapter Ten: Klapton's Revenge Chapter Eleven: The Last Monster |
| George took a look. The wolf's fur might have gotten grayer, but he still knew a thing or two. "It isn't Tourist Season yet; still got another three days until it starts." "Very funny," said Jerry. "By the way, how's Tabitha going with her pregnancy?" "Her doctor says she's fine," said George. "That husband of hers is very nervous." "Yes, Alex the multi-billionaire avocado farmer," Jerry muttered. "I'm surprised she never married Sammy." "That would complicate things between them too much," said George. "To say nothing about that arranged marriage to that woman from one of the other Royal Families. Still, he sends his love, and says there's a space in his stomach for her, which she says is nice to know." "I'm surprised they still do that," said Jerry. "Same here," said George. "A good friendship lasts a long time, doesn't it?" |
| Kira left after nearly dying of pneumonia,she moved to Samoa where she spends most of the day sun soaking. In her place an Exchange Student from Dardunah! (I'm assuming this chronologically takes place after Out of the Nine Hells and Dardunah has established contact with the rest multiverse) Name: 'Petunia; (Real name Vavi'il but most non-Zoics can't pronounce it, so rather then hear her name constantly butchered she accepts the substitute Petunia) Species: Pig Zoic, Specific Breed Chester White Age: 18 Specialty: As born a member of the Holy Caste on her Home Planet, Petunia's specialty is exorcisms of Demon and Ghost variety monsters Backstory: Not only born of the Holy Caste in the Dardunah Kingdom of Bakári for most of her Childhood from 5 until she hit puberty Petunia was her Kingdom's Sar’Ambhánu (Link to the Page describing this cult http://www.dardunah.com/forum4/index.php/Thread/343-Cults-Organisations-Gatherin...) So Petunia has had an intense upbringing and knows plenty about the supernatural realm...However Petunia was always resentful of her strict upbringing and joined Team Mango partly as a means to stick it to the Priests who raised her (Even after establishing trade most of Dardunah doesn't like the outside multiverse) Petunia was dozing on the sofa where the Television was on, while Petunia was the master of Holy Spells she still had trouble with modern technology, like figuring out how a remote control worked, so the 'Idiot Box' as she called it was stuck on some Reality Show while she lounged lazily |
| "Petunia! Change the channel!" yelled Jerry. "Yeah," said George. "Real Housewives of the Ninth Dimension is not my favorite show." "Aw, come on, guys," Petunia said. "You know that remote is a complete mystery to me." "It's just buttons!" Jerry said. "Just push the buttons!" At that moment the channel changed itself as a newsman came on: Breaking News! ... Something big is going down at the Waycross Nexus! No details yet. We'll interrupt regular programming whenever new information comes in." |
| "Figures," said George, as he worked on some online medical courses. "Some politician's offspring gets photographed while skinny-dipping, and everyone, and their mother, starts commenting." "What are you talking about?" Jerry asked. "It's what's going on in this one Chat Room," said George. "Here I am trying to dissect a human heart, and all my classmates are talking about some Guligan's genitals, and comparing them to the genitals of their own races!" "Still talking those medical classes?" Jerry asked. "Suppose a pregnant Flugean showed up, do you how to deliver a Flugean baby, or what they and their mother need to eat after the birth?" George asked. "But, doesn't the station's Medical Doctor know how to do that?" Jerry asked. "There's also the Medical Device as well." "That doesn't mean they know everything," said George. "Suppose the regular doctor was sick, and that the Device was off-line for an update, or some such thing? Besides, I recall patching you up a few times." |
| A modified dive-bomber landed on the tarmac at MonCon HQ Memorial. General Jutjaw and Butch came out of it, one of the officers meeting it gave a salute, "Welcome back, General, how did the training program go?" "Interesting," the General said. "The 5 new teams show a lot of progress, especially that last one, Team Aussie. They show a lot of potential." Butch said, "Although, Team Kahuna did show a lot of interesting technique in their work." The officer said, "Butch, while you were gone, Kira left the Mango Team and now there's a replacement. Her name is Petunia." Butch yawned. "Perhaps I'll meet her later. That trip gave me quite a jetlag." The officer said, "I'll arrange for you to be dropped off." |
| Jerry put away his cell phone. "That was Butch. He's back from his training mission with General Jutjaw. He wants to catch up on some sleep first, then he'll be here." "I don't get it," George said. "Why does he keep hanging around the military? We're not attached to them anymore. We've got our own business here." "I think it's just because of his friendship with General Jutjaw. He practically worshiped the man during the Farley Crow years." "That old warthog!" George said. While they were talking, Jerry had been fiddling with the many monitor screens that lined the walls of their office and constantly streamed in information about everything. "Look at this," he said, pointing to one of the screens. "They believe the increase in interdimensional traffic might come from millions of small objects making the transition." "Small objects?" Petunia said. "What's that supposed to mean? Like birds or something?" "We'll know soon. They're looking for samples now." |
| "There's always something crazy going on," said George. "Different issue every week, and most of the time, we don't need to do a thing." |
| Petunia was feeling a bit isolated in this universe, she missed the foods she ate during her time of Dardunah. She missed the Amber Skies. But this place was less strict then Dardunah so she was staying in this universe |
| After about a 3 hour nap, Butch woke up. The officer met him at the garage "So," Butch says "Where is George's new office?" The officer says "In a Nexus, should be easy to get to and it's conveniently close to the portal. I'll drive you to the portal there." |
| Jerry and Petunia were studying the monitor screens when Butch walked in. "So how is the old warthog doing?" Jerry asked. "He sends his love," Butch said. "What's up?" "Nanobots. Full scale invasion. Take a look at this." He pointed at a different monitor. "Hmmm. Looks like a LEGO Minifig of Hitler." "Close," Jerry said, but imagine that it's so much smaller then a LEGO. In fact, it's microscopic." "Amazing," Butch said. "Tell me the who, why, what, when, where on it." "All we know is the what and the where and the when - Hitler Nanobots being transmitted from Dimension 17 to Dimension 33 as we speak. We don't know the who or the why." George strolled in, wiping his chin with a napkin. "But we'd like to find out." |
| "Any ideas?" Butch asked. "Here's one, find someone who knows what this stuff is," said George. |
| Then General Jetjaw came up on one of the screens, "MonCon scientists analyzed these Nanobots, something we thought we saw the last of years ago. These are called Hitler Nanobots. A byproduct of a Neo-Nazi group called National Socialist Movement or NSM for short, the purpose of these nanobots is create propaganda against Non-Americans such as African-Americans, Mexicans, Jews and that's just the beginning." George asks "How do we stop them?" |
| "They stopped them the hard way years ago," said General Jutjaw, "one nanobot at a time. It took years to do it. But I don't want Mango Team to concentrate on the destruction of these bots at their destination, I want you to go to the source." "General," Jerry said. "Team Mango was decommissioned years ago. We're a private business now." "I know that!" said the warthog. "Take a look at the government contract I'm offering you." Jerry whistled. "That's a lot of money!" "It's a big government and a big problem. Are you with me?" Jerry saluted. "Lead on, General." "Good. All of you get your best gear together and head for Dimension 17, the source of the Hitler Nanobots. You have seven days to discover the factory and put it out of business permanently. Either capture or kill those responsible, preferably capture to avoid any legal problems." "Why seven days, General?" "Because if you haven't stopped them by then I'm going to blow Dimension 17 into a billion tiny pieces." "You can do that?!" "Son, progress in weapons development never stops. You'd be surprised at what we can do these days." |
| Has anyone ever played Wolfenstein: The New Order on PS4 or at least watched The Man in the High Castle on Amazon Video? Dimension 17 is like an alternate Earth, except this one looked like the Germans won World War II. We see a glimpse of it at a alternate Washington D.C.'s Pentagon with the Nazi flag flew on the pole instead of the American flag. Inside a Nazi Soldier(A Heer Oberst accoding to the insignia on his shoulder), he then walked into the office where a General is waiting and he gave him the Nazi Salute "Heil Hitler!" The general then salutes back "Ahh, Oberts Grubber. how's Projekt Reichweite(Project Outreach) coming along?" "Our Chief scientist Doktor Humberg says the nanobots are other dimensions, soon they will be calling us masters General." "Ahh, Good good, the Furher will be pleased." |
| Petunia meanwhile was suffering from headaches "Guys..." She said "I think I'm starting to feel a vision of the future coming..." |
| I read some of the Phillip K Dick story. "Write it down this time, Petunia," said Jerry. "Remember how you forgot it so quickly before?" Mango Team used their usual dimension hopping trip of popping into view at an airport so they could blend with the more normal type of travelers. The airport at dim17 Washington, DC, had a huge concrete swastika in the parking area. "Heil Hitler!" said the taxi driver. "Verr do you vant to go?" "A hotel near the Pentagon," Jerry said. They all had adjoining rooms. A large woman walked in as George and Butch were discussing what to have for dinner. "You vant a back rub?" said the woman. She cracked her knuckles. "I am Hilda. I give good back rub." |
| "That vould be good," said George. "Later on, of course. Me and my friends have important business to discuss." "Oh, vot kind of business?" Hilda asked. "Business that's for the Fatherland, and very top secret," said George. "Allow no one to disturb us." Hilda gulped. "I understand. For da Furher." "For da Furher," said George. "How did you do that?" Jerry asked. "Spent some time in Germany, and picked up on how to do German-accented English fairly well," said George, quietly. "I also learned the language. Funny thing really." "What do you mean?" Butch asked. "According to my German friends, most people over there don't like talking about him, not that I blame them really, but in this world, his picture is everywhere, as if he's watching you." He glanced over at a nearby picture. "That microphone for instance, nice place to plant a bug." Then, he mouthed. "Laugh like it's the stupidest thing ever." He then pointed at Butch, and then again at the picture. Jerry nodded, and said loudly, "George, you come up with the craziest things ever!" While Jerry berated George for his crazy theory, Butch walked up to the picture, and lifted it off the wall, looking at both the back of the picture. "Nothing," he mouthed. "Keep looking," George mouthed back. "Seriously George, you have some crazy ideas about how folks could be listening to things," said Jerry, as George got up, and walked over to the curtains, and looked at them. "I guess I do," George said, as he lifted up the cords, and showed the microphone hidden in one of them. "After all, da Fatherland vouldn't vaste their time listening to those who are loyal." He then covered the microphone, and spoke quietly. "These idiots should watch Hogan's Heroes, they might learn a thing or two. Keep looking; there will be at least a few more." "What about video cameras?" Butch asked, quietly. "Try the door. It has a good view of the whole room." |
| In the Pentagon's Surveillance room, Oberst Grubber along with a officer is watching team Mango's actions, "What do you think? Do you think they're from the Fatherland?" The officer just shrugged "Hard to say, of course the fatherland has many scientists so it is possible that one of them made a breakthrough with human/animal hybrids lets watch them a little bit longer." |
| Jerry looked at his watch. "Almost midnight. The first of our little fireworks shows should start up in a moment." The sky lit up with letters traced across it in red and yellow and white lights, as sharp and intense as laser beams, which they probably were. ATTENTION, DIMENSION 17! You must immediately cease all shipments of nanobots. Failure to do so will have severe consequences. Repeat: ALL NANOBOT SHIPMENTS MUST STOP IMMEDIATELY! "Wow! Petunia said. "What a light show. How did we do that?" "That's a special forces team that is supporting us." "Do you think that message will make them stop? "Probably not," Jerry said, "but it's just step 1 in the process. We are going to apply more and more pressure until they crack." |
| "So, what if the local branch of the Gestapo decides to arrest us for whatever reason?" Butch asked, once they had found the rest of the bugs, and covered them with towels and such. "Stall as long as you can, but if they come out with torture implements, wait until they touch you with them, before blurting out that we're members of a Nazi movement from a parallel dimension that didn't succeed," said George. Jerry blinked. "Seriously? Us, a bunch of Nazis on the run?" "Top-Secret Weapons program for Super-Soldiers that didn't produce the numbers that would have turned the tide of the war," said George. "It's not too far from the truth when you think about it; our ancestors were created to go into those situations that the military didn't want to risk humans in, but then we proved to be too valuable to be just expendable, and then, well, I know that some of my ancestors had sexual relations with their handlers, and, well, I know that my grandmother, a human, ended up giving birth in a regular hospital to my father - a wolf-hybrid, and it was about that time the military went public with the whole program, and that's why the military paid for my veterinary collage education, because we are all sons and daughters of soldiers and the like." Jerry and Butch glanced at each other, before lowering their eyes. "You have a point there," said Jerry. "The military created us to be assassins, bodyguards, explosive detectors, and all of that other stuff. Funny how the program never really continued after the first batch started to think for themselves, and started acting like humans." "Actually, it's still going," said Butch. "Just not the way the General Staff envisioned it, same with the scientists themselves," said George. "We still serve, but it's of our own free will. We still protect humans, because we want to. We've gone beyond our original purpose of protecting servicemen from harm." Jerry nodded at this. "You have that right." "Just remember," said George, with a grin. "Failed weapons program." |
| The Pentagon is in an uproar from the message about the Nanobot shipments, the General is on the phone "Yes, I saw the message too Herr Doktor, whoever is responsible for that will be dealt with seriously." As he hung up Oberst Grubber is standing in front of the desk "Herr General, we have possible intruders from an alternate dimension." The General says "Same as the animals?" He puts down a PDA, "Perhaps, except they are part dinosaur." The video shows human sized dinosaur hybrids, in the following order. Tyrannosaurus, Stegosaurus, Triceratops, Pterodactyl and Velociraptor. The General says "More experiments?" Grubber says "No, I think these are from a dimension in which dinosaurs evolved into these." General says "Capture them, and have them interrogated. They could be responsible for the message." Grubber saluted "Heil Hitler!" before walking off. |
| General von Fritz walked back and forth before the five dinosaur hybrids, idly snapping his riding crop against his trouser leg which was tucked neatly into knee-high black leather boots. "Soooo, ve haf here the dino men, the big bad lizard soldiers, eh?" The tyrannosaurus said, "Yo, General, we ain't soldiers, man. We're just on a little vacation." The general made a loud snap with his crop. "Vat do I look like? Some kind of fool? Who goes to Dimension 17 on vacation? Nobody! Dat's who. " The stegosaurus put his hand on the tyrannosaurus's shoulder. "Easy, Tyrone, better let me handle this." Tyrone said, "Yo, Stiggy, who's the leader of this gang? You or me?" Stiggy said, "I just think it might be better if I explain to the general why we are here." "OK, wise guy. You talk to him." |
| Meanwhile, George looked out a window. "Well, we've got a group of people sitting in a car below us. Probably the local Gestapo. Just remember what I said, if they come up." |
| George watched as a gestapo officer got out of the car and stated ordering men to cover the various exits. He was shocked to see that some of them were soldiers in the German Heer, some sailors in the Hitler kreigsmarine, and still others airmen from the Hitler Luftwaffe. At first this surprised George but then he realized they were Hitler youth, each dedicated to a particular branch of the German military. Part of the reason for the downfall and eventual defeat of Hitler in Earth's own history had been that the Oberkommando der Wermacht had been marked with rivalries. Apparently those rivalries had been eliminated in this dimension. "Everybody remember, allow them to extract the information from you one piece at a time. Don't cave in just because they are torturing you. It could go on for hours or even days but it's important that they extract the info rather than having it handed to them." "Yes sir," came the choru of replies just as the German SS barged in. |
| George and the others put up their hands as the Gestapo burst in. "Don't shoot," George said. My friends and I do not resist." An hour later General von Fritz was once again confronting a group of men from a different dimension. "More visitors, eh?" he said. "Suddenly Dimension 17 is der popular travel destination. Vhy is dat? Our moonlit beaches? Our fragrant flowers? The promise of romance in the air?" He took a moment to look each one of them over from head to foot. "Vell? Vhat is your story? Vhat is der little lie you vant to tell me? Let's get it done with now and then I will squeeze the truth out of you. |
| "Squeeze the truth from us?" George said. "Obviously, you're not too subtle, and, unfortunately, you are too stupid to live." "You will speak to the General with respect," a guard said, as he struck the wolf with a baton. "Oh, please, not a wooden stick!" George moved with a surprising quickness, even for someone of his age, grabbed the guard's arm, and twisted it behind his back, causing a sickening snap to fill the room, causing the other guards to gasp in horror. George let go, and let the limb drop to the guard's side. The guard looked at his arm in horror. "Oh, please, I only broke the humerus, and the ulna and radius, and popped it out of the shoulder joint," said George. "I didn't tear it off, like you deserve for touching a superior officer." General von Fritz raised an eyebrow. "You, an officer?" "Oberst Jonah Schmidt, Zoologieabteilung," said George. "Colonel John Smith? Zoology Department?" the General asked. "You expect me to believe that is who you are?" "It's who we all are," said George. "We are forbidden by the Fuhrer, himself, where it comes to revealing our real names and ranks, just in case we ever got captured by the enemy. In fact, you are forbidden to mention us in any reports, and are ordered to destroy any recordings of us, and the guard's broken arm is because he slipped and fell down some icy stairs." "In the middle of Summer?" the General asked. "It makes for a better story than the one where you cut your throat after falling down the stairs, and the base was set on fire after someone accidentally tossed a lit cigarette onto a curtain, which had been soaked in petrol," said George. General von Fritz looked at George's eyes, and blinked. "So, you don't officially exist?" "Yes, and, unless you wish for your records to say that you were killed in an accident, a horrible and tragic one, where your body was damaged beyond recognition, you will do as we tell you," said George. "Of course, if you tried to report us, who would believe you, and who would be willing to back you?" |
| Imagine The A-Team as dinosaurs, wild, isn't it? As the dinosaurs are being tossed into a holding cell, Tyrone couldn't help but overheard the conversation George and the General "Hmm, Colonel John Smith, where did I heard that name before." The triceratops spoke up, "I believe I have an answer. Try adding Hannibal to that." The Velociraptor says "He and his team are undercover." Tyrone says "I suppose we're not the only ones stopping the Nanobots." The Pterodactyl, "We should help them." |
| "You can prove this is who you are," the general asked George. ""Yes I can prove it but when I do you'll be eating cyanide for lunch. The Fuhrer will not tolerate any possibility if our existence being discovered." "I am a general," Von Fritz said.. "Vhy vould the Fuhrer not allow me to have access on a need to know basis?" "That's just it. You don't need to know. If you do not believe that Colonel John Schmidt is my name you are welcome to call the Fuhrer for verification. Then you can enjoy your cyanide cocktail vhen you are through." "Put these ones in the cell vith the others vhile ve sort this whole thing out." "Go ahead," George said, "but the Fuhrer vill not be pleased." He knew the general's only option under the circumstances while it was determined what to do with them. George wanted put in the cell so he could talk to Team Dino. He just couldn't be obvious about it. |
| General von Fritz stood in his now enemy office with Oberst Grubber. "Vat do think? Does any of dis make sense to you?" "Strangely enough, Herr General," it only makes sense if they are telling the truth." "Dat is vhat I vas afraid of. We need someone from Intelligence to sort this out for us. Who do we know we can trust at the Sicherheitsdienst ▼ ?" "How about Otto Feuerstein?" After a couple of phone calls and a little traveling time, Otto Feuerstein was in the office with them. "There has to be a connection between these two groups of men," Otto said. "Don't put them in the same cell together." General von Fritz's face blanched. "Errr... I already did." |
| George looked at the members of his group. "Everyone alright?" Butch, Jerry, and Petunia looked at themselves. "Aside from being stuck here, I'm good," said Butch. "Same here?" said Jerry. "Any ideas?" Petunia asked. "Thinking," said George. He looked over at the other five people, a Tyrannosaurus, a Stegosaurus, a Triceratops, a Pterodactyl and a Velociraptor. "Any of you hurt? I do have medical experience where healing injuries are concerned." "We're good," the Tyrannosaurus said. "Who are you? I doubt your name is really John Smith." George grinned, and then pointed over at a microphone. "Don't want the guard listening to have to take a cyanide cocktail, for hearing information they should not hear." The T. Rex chuckled. "Yes, that would be real tragic, for the young guard." "Then again, for all me and my men know, you work for the enemy," said George. "Reasonable to assume, until we are sure otherwise," the T. Rex said. |
| Soon Otto was in the General's office, "General von Fritz, I don't zee any files on Oberst Jonah Schmidt in Zoologieabteilung or any of the military records so whoever to talked to must be a spy for a resistance movement that supposed to be long dead. I would like to have a word with this John Smith, Colonel or otherwise." |
| Otto Feuerstein paced the floor as the equipment was made ready yo torture George. Since there was no record of George Otto knew he was a disloyal spy. The Third Reich and especially the gestapo had ways of dealing with such people. They would inflict severe pain on George until he gave them the information he wanted. Once they got the information George and all his comrades would be taken outside, lined up against a brick wall or old building and summarily executed. "That's exactly what they deserve for being spies," Otto knew it was going to be a long night. He didn't want to break George or any of the prisoners too fast. He wanted to make their pain as exquisite as possible and make it last for hours, possibly days. He enjoyed the screams of the prisoners as arc welders were attached to very tender places and the circuit completed with a touch from the business end of the welder. They would initially give them one strong shock to let them know what to expect if they don't cooperate and then administer weaker shocks for hours.. The only thing Otto couldn't stand was the smell of burning flesh. At first it had its appeal to him but after 24 hours of shocking the suspect the smell became overwhelming. |
| OK here is where I introduce a character that I hope can be an antagonist for when this story is over That very moment, as Otto was thinking about Fire, suddenly the opposite happened, Otto felt very cold, freezing actually! He looked around on saw ice and blue everywhere! That was when SHE appeared. From frosty mist appeared, the strangest creature Otto had ever seen! (Not George though) What the Mist Formed into was a strange Dragon-Like Creature, icy blue seeming to be wearing nothing but bands of pure ice around her breasts and lower...Parts. The Ice Dragoness Kissed Otto and instantly froze him solid. "That was too easy..." Said the Ice Dragoness George instantly knew what she was "You are a succubus." He said "You're so smart." Giggled the Dragoness "What do you want?" Asked George "Just you is what I want." Said the Dragoness |
| Then the dragoness dissolved into frosty mist. George looked around. Otto and his two assistants lay on the floor, looking very frozen. George managed to get the key ring off of one of the assistants and hurried back to the cell with it. Fortunately, there was no guard there at the moment so he got everyone out. "How the hell did you pull that off?" Butch asked.' "You wouldn't believe it. Come on, we need to get moving. The guard will be back in a moment." "Yo, let him come back," Tyrone said. "I'll kick his Nazi guard butt." |
| "I'd advise against it," said George. "There's a lot more of them than there is us." "What happened?" Jerry asked. "Let's put it this way, I'm not a God-fearing person, but I believe that the Devil's ex-wife showed up, and she isn't happy with some of the people around here." "The Devil never took a wife," said Butch. "Say that to the person who froze the three holding me," said George. "Turned them into Human-Popsicles." "That's how you got out?" Jerry asked. "Yeah, and I don't want to make her angry by staying around here." |
| Stiggy said to Tyrone, "Listen to the wolf, remember, we're here to stop the Nanobots not fighting Nazis. Use that head of yours to think not as a wrecking ball." Tyrone sighs and says "You're right, General Snagtooth said the Nanobots are important." Tyrone then turned to George "So, any ideas on what to do next?" |
| "One idea comes to mind immediately and that is to run like hell. We want to put as much distance between us and these Nazi clowns as we possibly can. In Earth history Switzerland remained a neutral country throughout World War Two. Perhaps in this dimension the same holds true. Everything else seems to be an exact copy with the exception of the Nazi's winning. I suggest we high tail it to Switzerland until we can formulate a plan," Jerry suggested. "Jerry that would be a wonderful idea if we had that kind of time. However we don't. We have to be back to our own dimension in six dayss because this dimension won't be here in seven days." |
| Jerry raised his hands. "Gentlemen, we are making this seem much harder than it is. All we need to do is blow up the nanobot factories to show these Germans we mean business." "Right," Stiggy said. "And that is supposed to be easy? We don't even know where they are." Jerry waved his hand. "But we do. You forget that between our two teams we have explosive experts, map experts, economy experts, fighting experts... We did not come unprepared to complete this mission. And I will restate it. We are to make sure the Dimension 17 Germans stop exporting Hitler Nanobots to Dimension 33. So let's send another message. Either stop or your industries will be destroyed. Filbert, do you have the maps?" Filbert, the Pterodactyl, said, "I've got everything in Berlin mapped and updated. I flew over the city all night... and boy are my wings tired. Hahaha!" "Filbert!" "Sorry, I am a little slap happy from lack of sleep. Anyway, all the Hitler nanobot production is in Berlin and most of it in just one industrial section. Should be a piece of cake for you bomb boys who like to blow things up." |
| "Best be careful though," said George. "On the bright side, I did send Sammy a message about what we are doing in this dimension, and if he doesn't hear from us within the next two days, he'll show up with some of his special operatives." Jerry looked at the wolf. "How big can he get these days?" "See that building out the window," said George. "He towers over it." "So, he can grow to over five hundred feet," said Jerry. "You wish it was just over five hundred feet," said George. "Try a thousand feet, and growing, still." "Jeesh, makes you glad he stays tiger-sized around us," said Butch. "I wonder how much he eats." "More than just a cow a week," said George. "It's at least two cows worth a day." "Makes you glad he's a friend," said Jerry. "Who is this Sammy?" Stiggy asked. "Someone you don't want as an enemy," said George. "Ever hear the expression about 'Mugging the Monster'?" "Is that the phrase where someone tries to rob you, only to find out it was a bad idea for them to try it?" Tyrone asked. "Yes, only in this case, folks who mess with Sammy, or those he cares about, end up inside of his stomach," said George. "Not really a big issue for his people, or those he likes, but it is for fools dumb enough to try hurting his friends." |
| Butch says "What about Tabatha?" George says "I don't think Dimension 17 is no place for children, especially Tabatha." Butch says "I agree but whenever Sammy involved, Tabatha is along for the ride. Remember that mission in Atlanta involving clowns, one of them broke Tabatha's arm." George says "Yes, I remember. I had to make a sling for her. if she does come, we need to keep her safe from the Nazis." Butch says "How?" |
| "That's easy," George answered. "If Tabatha comes along, which she will if Sammy does, we'll have Sammy swallow her. "Wait a minute," Filbert said, "you want this Sammy monster to swallow a girl for her own protection? That doesn't even make sense!" "Sammy can do one of three things when he swallows you," George said. "He can digest you, which is merciful if your monster. He can keep you prisoner indefinitely in the interior of his intestines. Or he can protect you in his stomach and you won't even know you're in there. You may think you're at an amusement park or something. Why one time he swallowed our whole gang and turned himself into what we thought was a rocket. he transported us to California while we had cocktails!" So a thousand foot monster can either eat you and punish you,eat you and kill you. or eat you and protect you? Remind me to never get this guy mad at me! |
| "That's the good thing about Sammy," George said. "He rarely gets angry to satisfy his own needs. It's almost always because someone else needs his help." "I notice you say rarely and almost always," Butch said. "Nothing is 100% sure in this life, right?" |
| (Remember, it has been some years since the First story - Tabitha is no longer a child, as it is, she's married, and pregnant, as I indicated in my first paragraph in this story, with Sammy having a mate of his own, and it's not Tabitha.) "I thought that Tabitha was married, and expecting?" Petunia asked. "And doesn't this Sammy have a mate of his own?" George, Butch, and Jerry looked at each other. "Well, that's embarrassing," said George. "Forgetting that sort of stuff." "We're getting old for these things," said Butch. "Going to need to start looking for a place in Florida," said Jerry. "Florida, no, try Guam," said Butch. "I'll take any place where I can grow my plants," said George. He looked at the dinosaurs. "Getting old sucks." "But, is the rest of the stuff you said about this Sammy true?" Tyrone asked. "Yeah, and he's always learning a new trick," said George. "Also, he's very hard to kill." |
| Meanwhile in Sammy's Dimension, Tabatha and her husband Thomas was visiting Sammy and his mate Kerra. Tabatha," Sammy says "You've certainly grown sense I last saw you, now look at you? You seem to be having a kit of your own soon." Tabatha rubbed her belly, "Yep, it's hard to hide a belly like this. Sorry." Sammy just chuckled "Don't be, I'm happy for you. Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" Thomas says "That depends, if it's a boy, I call it..." before Thomas finishes what he said, Sasha came in "Sorry to interrupt your guest my prince, but George contacted me. He needs help in Dimension 17." |
| Sammy looked at Tabitha. She could still do his talking for him. Together they were in almost complete telepathic contact. "I don't see how that's possible," Tabitha said. "They would need me with him to do his talking and I'm in no shape to travel." "What about Kerra?" Thomas said. Sammy's wife also had full telepathic contact with Sammy. Kerra wrung her hands. "I don't know. Sammy wants to do it, but I've never been off this planet. I've never been in the kind of situations Tabitha was in. I find the idea of going to another dimension pretty frightening." "I'll tell George what the problem is," Thomas said. "Are you going to tell him that I am the problem?" asked Kerra. "I won't put it that way. I'll just tell him what you told me about your concerns and fear." |
| "Of course, worse comes to worse, I can just use basic sign language, and the like," said Sammy. He then looked at Sasha. "Do you and your sister still have those translating devices you used when you were searching for me?" "Yes, my Prince," said Sasha. "Also, the Royal Inventor has made some improvements with his more recent models; instead of having to hide them in some jewelry, such as a necklace, they can be inserted just under the skin, preferably in the neck, near your voice box." Sammy nodded. "Good. That will help out." |
| "Sammy is coming alone," George told the others. "They have inserted some sort of transllating device in his neck so that when he tries to communicate we'll be able to do so." "Wait a minute," said Tyrone. "I thought you said this Sammy was a member of your team. How can that be if you can't communicate with him?" ""Simple," said George. "When we first found Sammy he took an almost instant attraction to Tabitha. It seems Tabitha is a very powerful telepath and was able to communicate with Sammy telepathically. All we had to do was tell her what we wanted and she conveyed it to him instantly. Now we can simply communicate with him. Hey I understand your concerns. Having a shape shifter on board was very unnerving for us in the beginning as well. Trust me though, Sammy is as reliable as the seven suns of Seuss. (In honor of Dr. Seuss who's birthday is today). |
| The explosives were set, the sky messages were ready to be displayed, the loudspeaking trucks were idling and ready. George held the remote trigger in his hand George looked around at the rest of them. "Are we ready? Anybody know any reason I shouldn't press this button?" "Yo," said Tyrone. "When do I get to kick some Nazi butt? This mission hasn't delivered the excitement I was promised." "Don't mind him," Stiggy said. "He likes to complain." The Pterodactyl was fast asleep and snoring loudly. The Triceratops and the Velociraptor were playing checkers. Sammy yawned. Butch drummed his fingers on the table. Jerry said, "Do it. The sooner we get back home the better." George pushed the button. |
| However, nothing happened. "Butch, you did set the stuff up right?" George asked. "Of course I did," the lion said. "Do you think I'd mess something like this up?" "Geesh," said Jerry. "You'd think that some-" Ka-BOOM! The explosion knocked everyone flat on their feet. "Told you I didn't mess it up!" Butch shouted. "Good," said George. "Let's get out of here." |
| The message said the following... ATTENTION DIMENSION 17! We old you to cease production of the Nanobots. Now we are forced to make a move. We will destroy the Nanobots ourselves, do not bother to guard them because you'll never see it coming! This is the consequences you'll face. Back on Earth, General Jetjaw saw the message and he faced an Allosaurus on the other screen, "Looks like George delivered the message General Snagtooth." Snagtooth says "What are you planning to do? Jetjaw?" Jetjaw says "Send in Team Delta." At Team Delta base, Sandy was on the comm and the General came on "Your on Team Delta." Sandy grinned toothly and turned to his teammates "Ready to go Nazi hunting?" |
| George and the others ran for the truck but didn't make it. They were quickly surrounded by SS officers and Heeres troops. Some of the troops had the insignia of the Nazi Death Squad on their hats and George was sickened at the thought. "Who are they exterminating in this dimension," he thought. The German forces were well trained and well disciplined. However George looked at Sammy and nodded his head. Sammy grew and grew and soon was over 500 feet tall. He was dropping bombs on Nazi buildings and wreaking havoc. Even the well trained troops started to bolt. It was during this short intermission, in which the German officers would get their men back on the line, that George and the others made their move. |
| "Team Delta is here," Jerry said, holding his comm unit. "Alright!" George said. "Then why stop with the nanobot factories? Let's take out the entire industrial district." "That goes beyond our Terms of Engagement orders," Jerry said. "So maybe marriage is off the table now. Tyrone? Go kick some Nazi butt!" Tyrone roared with delight. More explosions lit up the night and shook the ground. |
| Blades sees Tyrone in action "Great hornytoads, we got dinosaurs on our side." Sandy says "That T-Rex certainly hates Nazis." Bright eyes "I don't like them myself, anything to keep them occupied so Team Mango can get their mission done." |
| George led the team to a building and entered it. What he found there surprised him. He had hit the mother lode. There were Nazi's sitting a computers. A table was spread out before them with maps of the dimensions and the portals to the various dimensions. Obviously George and his team had stumbled onto the Third Reich's war room and headquarters for the nanobot campaign. George saw with disdain tat it was much worse than they originally thought. Not only were the Nazis sending nanobots into dimension 33 but they were sending them to every dimension! It appeared the Germans were planning a full scale invasion and the nanobots were some sort of first move. George knew he could not allow any of the Germans to leave the room alive. He needed to neutralize them and replace them with Dimension 33 counterintelligence operatives who could pose as Nazis. "Guten Morgen," George said to the Nazis. They turned only to find that they were covered. "Kill them," George told the team. "Take them to a quiet spot and kill them. The rules of engagement just took a sabbatical and we don't want any leaks about this material. Better yet have Sammy swallow them and let them believe they are still here. I'll contact General Jutjaw and have German speaking, German reading counterintelligence people sent. We need to analyze this intelligence and see what the nanobots are even programmed to do." |
| A shadow darted across one of the screens, and once the shadow had passed by a Human Man who had been standing on the curb before hand was laying down dead it seemed he had been sucked dry. "What the heck is happening here?" Asked Petunia "I think I know." Said George "This is the work of a succubus." |
| "What's that?" Petunia asked. "A succubus is a female demon who consumes a man's soul by having sex with him while he is sleeping." "Ew. Weird." "That's right," Jerry said. "Weird and completely illegal. Anybody get an ID on that sucker?" "I never saw her before," said Petunia. |
| "I have," said George. "Saw her in that Nazi world. Commands the power of ice. She froze the goons that were trying to get information out of me." "The Devil's ex-wife you were talking about?" Jerry asked. "I doubt she rescued me to be nice," said George. "That being said, I don't know if she is the Devil's ex-wife, but she's scary enough to be one." |
| "Maybe because a Nazi has no soul," George replied. "Remember all those Nazi death squads? Do you think anybody with a soul would have anything to do with them either directly or indirectly?" "I guess you have a valid point," Petunia answered. |
| "Good question," Jerry said. "I don't have an answer, but I have some ideas. We rig somebody up to explode if anyone tries to steal their soul." "Jerry! That's ridiculous!" "It would be if we tried to use a real human but what about some kind of puppet or android? We could sit it on a park bench and make it look lifelike." George blew some air out of his nose. "Like you said, it's not an answer, it's an idea." "So, George, do you have an answer?" |
| "Not at all," said George. "Unless you want to stick a gun in her belly and pull the trigger. But, that's all I have." |
| Butch "That may prove risky. For all we know, this kind of succubus maybe hard to kill with a simple gunshot. Well, unless the bullets are blessed." |
| "A succubus is a demon right? Well what do you do when you want to get rid of a demon? You rebuke and exorcise it, petunia said. "So why don't we kick some demon butt and exorcise this one from the world?" "Great idea Petunia and I guess it falls to us to do so since we are the Monster Mashers but exactly what did you have in mind for exorcising this succubus." "The first thing I'd suggest," Petunia answered,"is to contact General Jutjaw and find out if we have an expert on succubus demons around. We just fought a long, drawn out war with with monsters of every type. Surely there were some demons in the crowd that requirerd special handling. So who did the handling?" |
| General Jutjaw rubbed his chin. "An expert on the succubus demon type, eh? Let me think." Jerry and Petunia waited for the old general's brain gears to complete their turning. He typed something on his keyboard. "Ah! Here we go. Amos Fitchet, retired now, but once a first class demon hunter. I suggest you talk to him. He almost married a succubus." Jerry and Petunia exchanged a raised eyebrow glance with each other. Amos Fitchet wasn't hard to find. He had a little cottage in the woods and a sign in the yard: This is the home of Amos Fitchet. Please don't pick the flowers. The yard was filled with flowering plants of every hue and fragrance. "Whew!" Petunia said. "Almost too much. I have a sensitive nose." No comment from Jerry whose nose was not sensitive at all. Amos was an old porcupine. His quills were grey, what was left of them, since it looked like many of them had fallen out. He gazed down his nose through tiny spectacles. "Yes?" he said. "We're from Monster Mashers, sir," said Jerry. "General Jutjaw recommended you to as an expert on the succubus." Amos Fitchet stood a little taller when he heard that. "I guess I am all right. The succubus! One of the most immoral creatures in this world. Come in and I'll tell you all about them." He put on a pot of tea and they all sat down at a sturdy table while he fetched his cookie jar and dumped some cookies onto a plate for them. |
| At the same time, George was at his home, busy getting his garden ready for Spring. Some plants needed to be carefully taken out from being buried under the mulch he'd used to protect them during the Winter. Others needed trimming, so that they'd grow better over the year. Some even needed dividing, especially the bulbs. At the moment, he was busy trimming a black raspberry bush, and had taken a step back from it, as he looked at the plant. "Lateral branches, eighteen inches to two feet long, cane is three feet tall. Three canes per clump. Looks good." He then looked at the rest of his plants. "Looks good for the moment. Time for a break, and perhaps test out that wine I made last year." |
| Butch sat at the monitor at Monster Mashers headquarters, watching the happenings around the universe. While doing so he made a discovery that sent chills down his spine. He watched a monitor displaying several dimensions at once. The succubus appeared on a camera in Burbank California, where it touched and killed a young man barely out of college. Moments later the succubus appeared again, this time in Sammy's dimension where it touched and killed a vampire. Butch knew he needed to call the team together immediately and brief them. He also put in a call to his old friend and now commander General Jutjaw. "General. Butch here. Sir I'm afraid I have some disturbing news. Will you be available at 1400 hours for a briefing? I'll bring the surveillance tapes and you can see for yourself. I believe we either have two succubus going around killing people or we have a succubus that can travel between dimensions at will without use of the portals and do so almost spontaneously." Get your team together and report to my office," Jutjaw answered. "And Lieutenant make that 1330 hours!" "Yes sir!" |
| As Petunia heard what was happening to several Men across the Multiverse she was horrified "Oh Geez..." She said "...This is a Demon you can't trifle with! This is the kind of Demon legends are based around!" |
| "Calm down," Jerry said. "We are the Monster Mashers. We can handle a legend. We still have time before that meeting to hear Amos Fitchet's story." "Eh?" Amos said. "What's that?" "I said go ahead and tell us what you know about the succubus demon type." Amos put his hands together like he was praying and began, "Lilith was Adam's first wife, who later became a succubus. She left Adam and refused to return to the Garden of Eden after she mated with an archangel. There were four succubi who mated with the archangels and they were the four original queens of the demons: Lilith, Mahalath, Agrat Bat Mahlat, and Naamah." Jerry interrupted him. "Okay, all that history is fascinating but we need to know how to find a succubus and stop her." "Here is one way to spot them, assuming you don't see them in the act. Although a succubus often takes the form of a beautiful young girl, closer inspection may reveal deformities of her body, perhaps obvious things such as bird-like claws or serpentine tails or perhaps things more subtle, like skin moles that make an artistic design or ears that seem different from normal." Jerry nodded. "So look for a beautiful girl with something strange about her body?" "Jerry!" Petunia said. "We better leave now or we'll be late for that meeting with General Jutjaw." |
| George was in his wine cellar when he heard the call. "So, where is the ice demon at?" he asked, as he poured a sample of his new wine, and tasted it. "Hmm, not bad; got a touch of the red currant in there, but not bad." "Doctor, are you listening?" Jutjaw asked. "You said there might be more than one demon," said George. "Nice to know." |
| Butch is in the monitor room looking for any signs of the ice demon but soon founded something odd in front of a Las Vegas pawn shop, "Hmm, sense when did Vegas erected statues on the sidewalks?" |
| General Jutjaw shuffled his papers and slapped them down on the table. "Gentlemen! As you know we have a problem, a succubus problem. No giggling! Who was the person who giggled? ... Don't want to admit to it? Let's not act like children. This is a serious problem. Butch, make your report." Butch pointed at one of the monitors arranged around the table. "That's security cam footage of our succubus. As you can see, either she can travel at the speed of light, or there are at least two of them." Jerry said, "I think the most likely answer would be that there are more than one." "I agree," said General Jutjaw. "We've named them Alpha and Beta. This team will deal with Alpha and I'll assign another team to Beta. Consider it a competition, gentlemen. Which team can get her first." George said, "I brought samples of my latest wine for everybody." "George, can you try to concentrate on the succubus and stop thinking about your berry bushes for a few moments?" |
| George looked at Jutjaw. "You'll need a drink after you see the images of the victims." He handed the warthog a disk. "I hope none of you have eaten yet." "Are the images that bad?" Butch asked. "I'd prefer to deal with an elephant that is trying to give birth while it's suffering from diarrhea," said George. "That shit's easier to get a grip on." The general inserted the disk, and the images made everyone feel sick. "Are you serious?" Jerry asked. "The organs? Where are the organs?" "Looks like they've been dehydrated," said Butch. "The moister's been sucked out," said Petunia. "You got any of that wine on you?" Jutjaw asked. "Told you," George said, as he got out a bottle. "Tell me what you think of it after you've had a sip." |
| "Not bad Doctor," said Jutjaw as he drank his wine. "It's got a touch of the red currant in there but it isn't bad." "I thought I screwed that up but bottoms up. There are more pictures." George continued the slide show and the scenes were grotesque. "Why would anybody want to do that to a human being," Jutjaw asked. "I don't know," George replied, "but when we track her down we'll ask her." "What do you mean by "ask her"? I'd be surprised if you survive the encounter of talking to the cold-blooded murderer." "Oh we'll survive. If she wanted to kill us she'd have done so when she killed the Nazis in Dimension 17. She wants us alive. In fact, before she disappeared that day she specifically said "I want you." Whether that meant she wanted the Monster Mashers or me specifically is unclear. However I feel that my chances of survival are greatedly enhanced if I'm useful to her. Petunia, what did you all find out from Amos Fitchet? "We found out that this succubus is one wicked mother that's what. Legend has it that along with Eve she was originally a wife of Adam. Something went wrong, which is unclear, and she was not only cast out of the Garden of Eden but she was condemned to roam the earth. Along with her three sisters, she is going to be one of the hardest things we've ever dealt with." "You don't really believe those legends about Adam having a wife before Eve do you," Jutjaw asked. "Personally I find it to be a flagrant disregard for God's word. If you believe in this succubus demon and you believe that she was the wife of Adam then you must believe that the creation account is accurate. If it is then Adam's wife was Eve and not some demon." "I don't know what I believe in all honesty General. I'm a scientist so religion is not my field. I attend services occasionally but I leave theology up to the experts." "Speaking of theologians and experts why don't we contact Colonel Paddock, the rhino chaplain here. He's suppose to be one of the world's foremost experts in theology. Perhaps he can shed some light on what this succubus wants and why she's interested in the Monster Mashers." |
| PAUSE Chapter 2 is going on hold and will return as Chapter 4. Meanwhile, Chapter 3... |
| "We have another problem," said Jutjaw's assistant. "What is it?" the warthog asked. "You have to take a look." The image changed from the dead bodies, to two statues, frozen in horror. "How is this important?" Jutjaw asked. The assistant pressed the rewind button, and the reason became clear. "I thought that leprechauns were supposed to be friendly types, who liked the occasional prank," said Jutjaw. "Looks like he likes pulling them," said George. "And, if me Irish grandmother is anything to go by, when she wasn't drinking some of the good stuff, this leprechaun must have been wronged, and someone has stolen his pot of gold. I worry about whomever has his gold at the moment." |
| The foursome arrived at the scene of the crime and found that most of the LVPD is there investigating the scene, and what appears to be a police chief "Hold it, this is a crime scene and if your here for a Furry Convention at the Golden Nugget, it's not for another 2 months yet." George shows his MonCon ID, "Where from Monster Control and we believe those two statues are victims of a Rogue Leprechaun." One of the officers came up to the Chief "Chief, we identified one of the statues. Athough we don't know the stone one but the wooden one is Charles Moores, the proprietor of the Pawn shop." The chief says "Any signs of Evan and Miles?" The officer says "No sir, but according to the footage from the traffic cam, they've stolen a pot of gold from the pawn shop and drove away before Mr. Moores' wooden fate." George says "Do you know what the two look like? It's important that we get to them first before the leprechaun does." |
| "Yes, we can give you photographs and just about anything else on them. They're a couple of small time thugs who are trying to land themselves a nice long stay in a Nevada prison. Up until the pawn shop robbery this morning they either committed misdemeanor offenses, which landed them in the county jail or simply got them fined. Any felonies they may have committed were either not discovered or thrown out on a technicality." "This leprechaun isn't going to let them off so easy. Do you have any idea where we can find them?" "My guess would be the Golden Nugget. There's no way the two of them would have anything as valuable as gold with converting it and gambling the profits." "Okay. Well we're going to need jackets on these clowns. I'm sorry but this just became a MM2 case. The LVPD is more than welcome to assist. In fact we invite the cooperation as always, but since there is a magical creature involved it fall under our jurisdiction." "Yeah there you go pulling rank again. Why is it that you federal guys always come in and try to push the locals around?" "Nobody's pushing anybody around Chief. How many magical creatures have your guys handled in the last two years? How much time in the academy is dedicated to investigating and capturing renegade monsters? The Monster Mashers specialize in doing so. We are more than willing to have the locals tag along." The chief seemed appeased with this and the MM2 team set up a command center in the headquarters of the Las Vegas office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. |
| Tuesday morning the four Monster Mashers assembled early. "Today we hit the Golden Nugget," Jerry said. "If we're lucky he will be there. If we're not lucky, then we've got a lot of questions to ask and a lot of security cam footage to view." "We know this guy has the power to petrify someone into wood or stone," said George. "Any evidence of other powers?" "I can think of some he doesn't have," said Butch, "like invisibility." Jerry raised an eyebrow. "How do you know he doesn't have it?" "Because he would have used it, but he's clearly visible on the security cam tapes." |
| "Or, maybe he didn't see the camera, or didn't care about it," said George. "Or maybe the camera was the type that can catch his image, as silver-backed cameras can't catch a vampire's image, but a digital one can, or maybe I'm just over-complicating things a bit." "Let's go with that," said Jerry. "Or, he maybe he didn't see any reason to, as he wasn't being chased by anyone." "Right, he's doing the chasing," George said, as they got to the casino. "Anyone up for Blackjack?" "We're on assignment," said Butch. "We don't have time for fun." "True, but it would be a good place to start our search at," said Jerry. "If these guys brought in the gold, they would have made sure to swap it for spendable money." "And I'd wager they'd be at the High-Roller tables," said George. "You need money to walk into the room, or a good boot." |
| Evan and Miles are in one of the Hotel rooms but without their stolen pot of gold, "I can't believe hotel security took our gold," Even says, "We have big plans for the gold coins in the High Rollers area." Miles says "Don't worry, I'll come up with a plan to distract the security guards and cameras to break into the hotel vault to retrieve our prize." Even says "I'm listening." Meanwhile the Leprechaun entered the casino through the Freemont Street entrance, "Oh, what a display. Why do they let such a bright and noisy racket play?" Then he sniffs the air "Ahh my gold is near, that means the ones who stole it is here." Then the pit boss came up to the Leprechaun, "It's about time you came, the tournament is in 5 minutes." The Leprechaun looked at the man in confusion "Tournament?" "The Lucky Leprechaun Slot Tournament, don't you remember Neal? We hold it every year." Butch was nearby and he takes out his radio "George, the Leprechaun has arrived." |
| "Got it," George said. "Looks like he might be entering the Lucky Leprechaun Tournament," Butch said. "Huh? Are you sure you have the right leprechaun?" |
| "Well, he's ugly enough to be the guy," said Butch. "Sounds like a good enough reason to me," said George. |
| Soon George, Jerry and Petunia joins Butch by the Tournament area, Butch says "That him at Slot machine number 7." |
| "What if he tries to petrify us?" Jerry asked. "Oh!" said Petunia. "Did I forget to mention they sent us pills to protect against that?" Jerry did a face palm. "Pop my cork, Petunia! When were you going to tell us? Do you have the pills?" She gave each of them a pill and they washed them down with water. Jerry hitched up his pants. "Alright! I feel more confident now. Let's go question this ludicrous leprechaun." |
| George looked over at Petunia. "Sugar pills?" he mouthed. Petunia pointed her finger at Jerry. "He's confident now," she mouthed. George rolled his eyes. "Let me know next time, for I have some good stuff," he muttered. |
| As they approached the leprechaun slowly, Butch saw both Evan and Miles in the hotel lobby sneaking towards the security desk. Butch whispered to George "The two thieves by the pawn shop are over there." As he gestured towards the lobby. |
| The leprechaun spotted the thieves at the same time the MM2 team spotted them. "We better hurry," Jerry said. "He's heading after the thieves." "Yes and they're headed for the vault," Petunia said. "And they say pigs are sloppy!" "I sees me thieves," said the leprechaun. "I'll teach them to steal me gold." George was first to approach the leprechaun. "Leprechaun, we need to have a word with you." "Unless ye have me gold ye can do me no good," the leprechaun said. "We might be able to arrange getting your gold back," George said, "but turning people into statues isn't going to do anything more than get you into trouble." |
| "I can get me gold back me self, sir! Now if ye will kindly get out of me way..." Later, even after viewing the security cam footage, George was unable to see how the Leprechaun could move so fast, but he did. He faked left, then right, and George found himself looking at the Leprechaun's back as he ran into the Casino's vault. |
| "I'm getting too old for this," said George. "No, he's just too fast," said Jerry. "Slippery little devil," said Butch. That was when a sound rang out, right next to George. Well, not exactly rang out, but it sounded like a wine bottle hitting the carpet. "You still have that stuff on you?" Petunia asked. "Yeah," George said, as he picked up the bottle, and opened it. "Too good to waste." He was about to have some when a flash of green appeared in front of him. "Is that red currant wine?" the leprechaun asked. "I haven't had red currant wine in a long time. You just can't find a good one these days." "Um, it's made with red currants, but it also has gooseberries, grapes, raspberries, blackberries, and a number of other types of fruits," said George. "May I have a glass?" the Leprechaun asked. George grabbed a glass, and poured some in. The Leprechaun took the glass, and took a sip. "It's not a pure red currant wine, but it's got a good flavor." "I do have 10 bottles of red currant wine, if you're interested," said George. "Of course I'm interested," said the Leprechaun. "I enjoy red currant wine." "In that case, let us get the gold, and let the local authorities take care of the thieves, and I'll let you have the wine," said George. "It better be good, with none of that artificial stuff," said the Leprechaun. "I'm no expert, but I do my research," said George. |
| Jerry, Petunia and Butch went ahead Jerry says "That a little unexpected, I never realized that Leprechaun was a wine consumer." Butch says "That gives us the big advantage to get to the two crooks." "I hope those two are this easy," Petunia says, "You know how dangerous criminals can be." |
| Jerry rolled his eyes. "Yes, Petunia, we know criminals can be dangerous." She punched his arm. "Don't mock me!" They had almost reached Evan and Miles when those two miscreants decided to break and run. The chase was on. Casino players screamed and yelled and fell out of the way as the two crooks came charging through the crowd with Jerry, Butch, George, and Petunia right behind them. Jerry was on his phone talking to Casino Security. "Seal the doors! Seal the doors!" |
| That was when the two crooks collided with a big, and rather heavy-set, woman, who was carrying a bucket of loose change. "What's the meaning of this?" she screamed out. The two crooks tried to run, but she managed to grab them. "That's fifty dollars worth of winnings!" she yelled out. "Pick it up!" "We have fifty dollars, in cash," said Evan, trying to struggle out of the woman's grip. "That we do," said Miles, who was also struggling. "I want the money I won, not something that's been in your pockets!" the woman yelled. "If I wanted the money in your pockets, I'd wait on a corner. Now, pick up my money!" "But, that's just a bunch of nickles and dimes!" "I still won it, and I want it, now!" The four MM members had to stop, and had to struggle, to keep from laughing. |
| Butch says "Now this is amusing." George says "They may be in trouble with her, but still they still have us to deal with once they get all that up." Petunia says "And I wager they'll be spending ten in the pen." |
| "Then again, it might not be related to the demon we're after," said George. "It could be related to drinking, or a woman." "Really?" Jerry asked. "I don't see him drinking, or with a woman, especially at his age." "Age has nothing to do with it," said George. "I've gotten plenty of dates, and I've had plenty of women in my bed, even now. After all, I make good money with my veterinary practice; doctors and lawyers make plenty of money, and are always a good catch." "That makes sense," said Butch. |
| New York City, a man just left the Times Square/42nd. St Subway Station and walked down 42nd. St. towards 8th. Ave. When he went halfway, he heard a voice says "Hey Mister, you look like your looking for a good time." The man says "Hello? Who's there?" The voice said in a female sultry voice saying "Just a lonely soul, looking for companionship." He followed the voice into an alley until he wasn't seen until only a scream in pain can be heard in which a patrolling beat cop heard "Sir? Are you alright?" No answer is heard, but when he saw the guy laying on the ground but when he turned him around, a frightened look is frozen in his face, and he is completely dead. |
| The Succubus had only gotten a quick look at George when she had almost been caught still on the scene by the Monster Mashers. Of course, they didn't know how close she was at that moment and in another instant she was gone. Meanwhile, George was loosening the collar on his shirt. He was getting hot flashes every now and then. Was he coming down with a cold or a fever? Maybe it was pollen allergy. "Say, Jerry," George said. "Did you ever dream about having sex with a monster?" Jerry laughed. "I don't think so, George. Been having some nightmares lately?" |
| "Yeah, ones involving my mother-in-law," said George. Jerry looked at him. "Um, you've never had a wife, let alone a mother-in-law." "That's the really scary aspect of the nightmare," said George. "Of course, said image of said woman is ugly enough to be someone's mother-in-law." |
| Butch says "Didn't the general said there's more then one demon George?" George says "Yes, as I recalled. Why?" Butch says "There's a news report about a death in Times Square. According to the description in the report, it matches the other succubus." |
| Petunia at this point had overworked herself so much studying Succubus Demons that she collapsed from sheer fatigue |
| Jerry knelt down and patted her hand. "Petunia? Are you okay? Somebody get a glass of water." "Times Square, eh?" said George. "You notice how these succubusses are always choosing a city location to strike? Seems like it would be easier to get some farmer out in the country." "Yeah," George said. "Maybe there is something about rural areas that repels them." |
| "Or, maybe they want to be found," George suggested. "They do it right where a camera can see them. It's as if they are saying 'Catch me if you can!', which might cause us to make a mistake." |
| Butch says "Now here's a question, is there a relation between the succubus that's after you George and the one in New York?" |
| "I don't know," George said. "East coast, West coast. It's a long way to maintain a connection." "Depends on how they connect," Jerry said. "Maybe they are telepaths." "Maybe they both are the same succubus," Petunia said, "but she can move really fast. Do we have anything that proves there are two of them and not just one really fast one?" |
| "Too bad we don't have a phoneline to the Devil," said George. "Be a little tricky to connect to Hell anyways." |
| "Maybe we should call that Superhero who runs around really fast..." Said Petunia "...What is he called, the Dash?" |
| "The Flash," Jerry said. "He's probably in Hollywood making movies. I still like my exploding bait idea. Meanwhile the succubus was sniffing the air. George was not far away. Ahhh, George. That would be a prize for her, especially since he was trying to take her down. Instead, she would take HIM down. Mwahahahahaha! |
| (Time for a bit of a Cross-Over) The phone range, and Jutjaw picked it up. "What is it? What? Another one? That's just great. Where? Okay." He hung up. "Call up the team, and tell them to head to Las Vegas." Roughly an hour later, the team was on the Strip. "I always like visiting this town," said George. "You can make money here." "So, we've been sent here to check out a murder caused by this demon," said Jerry. "Yeah," said George. "Some politico's relative." "I guess that would be big enough," said Butch. "Gets worse," said George. "Seems that the politico hired some freelancers to investigate the murder as well." "Who would they be?" Petunia asked. "A group of top-level bounty hunters that call themselves Felcanrod," said George. "They're good at what they do." "Can't say I've really heard of them," said Butch. "They mainly stick to murderers and dangerous criminals, and not monsters," said George. "That being said, they are good at what they do." "So, how do you know about them?" Jerry asked. "Let's just say that my second cousin, a wolf named Samuel Blacktail, who has a messed up face, is one of them," said George. "Second cousin?" Butch asked. "Not first?" "Let's just say that grandma had a sister, who also got saddled with a wolf partner," said George. "I guess that would make him your second cousin," said Jerry. "Yeah, and we haven't directly spoken to each other in twenty years," said George. |
| At the scene of the crime, a pedestrian bridge between MGM Grand and Tropicana, a grey wolf in a red suit with a scarred face studies the corpse, "Hmm, what kind of weapon did the killer use? It drained him of his soul. Can't believe that's the chief publisher's son. Don't worry Mr. MacDonald that we'll find Kevin's killer." |
| Dusty Claws, the grey wolf in the red suit, picked up a small metal object from the pavement. "Hello, what's this?" "It's a woman's ear ring," said a voice behind him. He turned around to see a cat, a rat, and a wolf. "You guys must be Felcanrod." "That's us," said the rat. "I'm Skeemo, this beautiful feline is Sapphire and the decidedly ugly canine is Samuel Blacktail." "Let me see that ear ring," Sapphire said. "Mmmm, looks expensive. Probably stolen unless we're dealing with a very classy murderer." Dusty turned to one of his assistants. "Get on that right away. Check the files for stolen ear rings." |
| Samuel frowned as he approached the body. "No obvious marks, like gunshots, knife wounds, or claw scratches," he said. "Some sort of demon did this?" "A succubus," said a technician. "Got footage of it, right here." The technician held up a device. "Tapped into the traffic camera across the street." "Can we take a look?" Samuel asked. "Mr. MacDonald hired you?" the technician asked. Samuel sighed. "Yeah. Seems he isn't a fan of Monster Mashers at the moment." "I can understand the why," said the technician, as he turned the device over. "They've been hiring the creatures to work for them." "Isn't that the way things are; best the enemy in this war, and then recruit them for the next?" Samuel asked. "History is full of that kind of stuff, especially the Romans." Felcanrod took a look at the footage. "Oh boy," said Skeemo. "I think we're a little out of our league on this one." "It's just horrible," said Sapphire. "He was sucked dry?" "I was wondering if my eye was going for a moment," said Samuel. "I guess not." "Let me guess, the victim has been killed with little to no marks." Felcanrod turned around, and found themselves looking at the Monster Mashers. Samuel crossed his arms. "Hello, George. What in hell are you doing here?" "Nice to see you're still as ugly as ever," said George. "Still selling your gun for anyone with money?" "I wouldn't put it quite that way," said Samuel. "I didn't sell my services to just anyone." "Heard you got remarried," said George. Samuel grinned, and held up his left hand, which was short the pinky finger. "See the ring?" "I see it," said George. "I also heard that you had a daughter." Samuel nodded. "My pride and joy. Annabel's ten years old now. Susan says she's as smart as she was at that age." George grinned. "Know the feeling." "Heard you had a pet tiger for a while," said Samuel. "And that you adopted a street orphan." "Something like that," said George. "By the way, your leg still bothering you?" "Have to use a cane these days to get around," said Samuel. "Stinks growing old." George nodded. "How's business?" "Doing good," said Samuel. "Always someone with a price on their head." "And your former father-in-law?" Samuel frowned. "Mr. Smitty died last year." "Sorry to hear about that," said George. "I know he helped you out a lot." "I was one of his heirs," said Samuel. "I don't need to worry about money." "I see," said George. "Now, what do we have here?" |
| "Our boss doesn't want the help of the Monster Mashers. However I know your team is on the level and the best in the country. I'll accept your help as long as you allow my team to take the lead on this one." "I sort of expected that from you. Here's an executive order directly from the president that puts the Monster Mashers in charge. It's also signed off on by the U.S. Supreme Court secretary, the director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and a number of congress members." The wolf looked at the document. ""Those guys are pretty serious about putting you guys in the lead. Seems like an awful lot of trouble to pull all those strings. We would have cooperated with you guys regardless. The people who hired us didn't want Monster Mashers involved. However they gave me full discretion on the matter and I want your help. So your document is pretty much a moot point. However you are in charge." "Thank you. We knew your organization was notorious for not cooperating with Monster Mashers and pardon me for saying so but dealing with a succubus is completely out of your league. We asked General Jutjaw to obtain documentation putting us in charge because we did not expect cooperation from you. I'm glad you're willingto work with us." "I might be a bit hardheaded and uncooperative at times but I'm not totally stupid.You're absolutely right. A succubus is way out of our league. I would have asked for your assistance anyway." "That's good to hear. Now let me take a look at that ear ring." The wolf handed the ear ring to George. George pulled out a magnifying glass and examined the ear ring. It had a logo stamped on the post and the name of the jewelry shop that sold it. "Petunia, take one of these men with you and locate Simon's Jewelry shop. Ask them who bought this ear ring." "How can you see that print on there," the wolf asked. "I was going to put it under a microscope because I couldn't make out what it said when I examined it." "Of course you couldn't," Jerry spoke up. "You didn't use a magnifying glass. You should know better than that. What is this amateur hour?" "Now we'll have no more of that," George said. "Our orders are to take the lead but to cooperate with these guys. Criticism like that only creates resentments and chaos." "You're right George and I apologize. They didn't have time to examine the ear ring closely. We arrived just as they picked it up. I apologize for my rudeness." "Apology accepted," the wolf replied. "Now how do we go about capturing this succubus?" |
| "My idea is exploding bait," Jerry said. "We rig up a dummy victim with explosives and when the succubus attacks him... Kablooie!" Sapphire rolled her eyes. "Why do men think women are so stupid? Couldn't you tell the difference between a real woman and a rubber woman?" "Of course," Jerry said. "Well, trust me, this succubus is not going to be fooled by some rubber dummy on a park bench. I see why they called in Felcanrod to assist with this." |
| "You'll have to forgive my friend," said George. "He just doesn't want to risk an innocent person's life." Samuel chuckled. "I don't blame him there. Maybe if they were drunk, it would work." "So, what do you have?" George asked. "We were just about to ask the officer here," Samuel said, as he looked at Dusty. "I hope I don't have to show you the paper," said George. "I'm not that foolish," the wolf officer said. "It's supposed to be my night off anyways, but Richard called in sick, along with Daniel, and Janelle." "Oh, how is my rabbit friend doing?" Samuel asked. "Let's just say that her husband, Nick, is in trouble, again," said Dusty. "What did that fox do this time?" Samuel asked. "He got caught sleeping with Padre Grande's daughter again, by her husband, again," said Dusty. "Now both Padre Grande and Mr. Stripes are sending people out after him, again, probably to break his legs, and, worse than that, he's being forced to sleep on the couch." "That is a steep punishment," said Samuel. "Getting your legs broke by two of the biggest crime bosses is nothing compared to being made to sleep on the couch." "Who is this Padre Grande and Mr. Stripes?" George asked. "Padre Grande is an Arctic/Short-tailed Shrew mix, who leads an Italian-Mafia styled mob, while Mr. Strips is a tiger, who is currently serving time in Prison, who is the boss of an equally powerful Mob," said Samuel. "Smart enough to pay their taxes, and leave the average person alone, and keep their paws clean. Thing is, Mr. Stripes had a daughter with a mistress, who became Padre Grande's wife, meaning Mr. Stripe's daughter is Padre Grande's step-daughter. Oh, and did I mention that while they hate each other's guts, they are very protective of her?" George chuckled. "Know the feeling." He then looked at Dusty. "Got any footage?" "Yeah, sure." The officer handed it over. The Monster Mashers looked at it. "Looks like the same one we're after, Then again, there might be two, or three. We're not quite sure, but it seems like they are either working together, or competing with each other." |
| "What makes you think we may be dealing with multiple perps here," Samuel asked. "We were working in a what you might call a tracking station or a monitoring station before all this happened.. Basically it monitors several different dimensions of the space-time continuum. After the succubus made herself known to us we were called back to active duty. We still have our jobs at the monitoring stations so we go back there from time to time. On one of those trips back we caught footage of the succubus killing a victim on Earth then appearing moments later in another dimension killing inhabitants there. Not even a succubus could travel through subspace with that kind of speed. It would be faster than the speed of light. If you know anything about the theory of relativity you know that the faster and object goes the heavier it becomes. Any object getting anywhere near the speed of light would become infinite mass. Infinite mass couldn't be moved no matter how much energy is behind it. So there's no way this succubus could kill in two dimensions moments apart." The succubus was listening.. "Correct George," she thought. "Even energy approaching the speed of light becomes infinite mass. I'm a spirit so I'm energy. I can't travel that fast. So I have a little help from my sisters..." |
| The "sisters" of the succubus were out-of-phase manifestations of herself. Kill one and you kill them all. So she didn't like to multiply herself out to more than 2 or 3 at a time. After all, if there are 17 versions of yourself running around, you increase the odds that one of them will get killed and take the rest of you with it. Jerry slammed his fist into his palm. "It doesn't matter how many there are. We'll get them all, but we have to start somewhere. Let's find it and kill it. You don't like my dummy bait idea, then fine, I'll be the bait, except I won't be rigged to explode of course." "But Jerry," Petunia said. "How are you going to attract her? You can say you want to be bait, but how will that make her pick you out of millions of men?" |
| "Also, are you dying of cancer or something?" George asked. "I might want to know that." "I was about to ask the same thing," said Butch. "Besides, you might not be her type." "Perhaps you should see what the victims have in common," said Samuel. "Most serial murderers have some sort of type that they go after." |
| "She wants something,"George said. "We just have to figure out what it is. Perhaps she simply wants to get our attention. If so she has it one hundred ten percent. What doesn't make sense is that she first showed up when she rescued me in Dimension Seventeen. I still for the life of me can't figure out why she spared me?" "When we find her we'll be sure to ask her. Hey I heard that very few people ever studied a succubus in detail. I did not hear that nobody has studied a succubus in detail. Perhaps we're overlooking somebody that knows what she wants or at least can guess what she wants. How about we start talking to theologians and spiritual experts." "Oh boy," George said. "Just what I need ...some preacher or priest meddling in my affairs! However I agree with you. They would be the world's foremost experts on the succubus. We'll start with the local universities. Perhaps one of the professors there can at least tell us who to talk to." |
| Professor Doppleganger listened patiently to Jerry, Butch and George's story. "Yah," he said. "This thing, der succubus, I am familiar with. I am an expert on those beings who can phase shift, produce replicas of themselves, and so forth. The succubus has that ability. Now what is your precise question again?" "What does she want? Is she looking for a certain type of man?" Profeesor Doppleganger put his hands together in front of his face. "Ah, yes, what does she want? Hmmm, a man, certainly. We all know that. Suck him dry, etc, etc. Almost always resulting in death of the man." Jerry's eyes widened. "You mean sometimes the man does not die?" "It has happened." "Do you know of a living survivor of a succubus attack? We'd really like to talk to him." |
| "You'd have to be a psychic," said Doppleganger. "One died of complications, and the other has been in a coma for a number of years." |
| "So even if they do survive they are in critical condition," Jerry said. "That's a dead end. So do you have any idea what this succubus wants? Better yet let me ask, do you know who she wants?" "Did you say she first appeared to you George, and killed the men holding you hostage?" "Yes," George answered. "She rescued me from a couple of Nazis." "A succubus never rescues anybody," Doppleganger said. "If she rescued you she had a vested in you. perhaps you are the target." "Why would she choose me. I'm just a veterinarian. I'm nobody special." "You don't have to be anybody special for a succubus to target you. There's no particular rhyme or reason they do so. I will tell you though that I believe you are in grave danger. I would suggest that you wear a hex. It may ward her off." "We don't want to ward her off Doctor. We want to stop her from attacking people. The only way to do that is by drawing her out. If she wants me what can I do to attract her even more?" "Do you realize how dangerous that would be? I can't take part in your suicide." Doctor if you don't more people will die needlessly. If you think I'm the target then I'll be the bait. Tell me how to attract her and how to stop her." |
| "Very well," said Doppleganger. "If you are so determined. Do you know of a herb called henbane?" "I'm not much of an herbalist," said George. "I know oregano and that's about it." "Vell, henbane is a dangerous herb, but it vill attract some beings such as a succubus. However, you must be careful that you don't let the henbane kill you before the succubus does." "I've heard of henbane," Petunia said, "and I think I know where to get some." Jerry was shocked. "Didn't you hear the professor say it was dangerous to use and could kill you?" "It's okay," George said. "I'm pretty sure I'm not going to die because of some garden weed." |
| "After all, it's not like I'm going to eat or smoke it, right?" George asked. |
| "You may end up inhaling some of it," Doppleganger said. "To attract a succubus with it you have to make a pentagram and place henane on each point of the pentagram. Then burn the henbane starting with the northern most point of the henbane and working all the way around it. You must stand inside the pentagram circle. Make sure your pentagram is inside a circle at least ten feet in diameter.The sucubbus cannot touch you inside the circle. Use this chant to attract her. You can't really kill her but you can banish her to hell. To do so you must set her on fire. S,"he lives on cold. Thus she kills with cold and has ice bands all around her. Fire is her worst nightmare because it sends her to hell where she is forever condemned." "You are saying that if I set her on fire she'll be condemned to eternal hell," George asked. "Yes" Doppleganger said. "Use fire from the henbane on the western most point of the pentagram. When the fire touches her say "Go to hell. She will then be banished to hell. However it will not be as easy as it sounds. If she touches you, you will die and go to hell. If you step out of the circle she will kill you. If you do not set her on fire before the henbane burns out she will enter the circle and kill you. In this situation you must kill the real succubus. She will multiply all the way around the circle.She will then move herself and her replicas at high speed so you can't tell which is which. You must use your mind. Let your intuition or psychic ability tell you which succubus is her." "I have no psychic ability,"George said. "We all have some. Have you not ever seemed\ to know something before it happened. You may have passed it off as a hunch or intuition. Those moments are psychic moments. Allow your mind to focus completely on her and you will see her silhouetted in blue while the rest disappear." |
| Major Grimley, the sloth who was General Jutjaw's assistant, was on the phone with Petunia. "I checked that list of possible succubus experts you sent me. Some of them are scam artists or quacks." "Oh my!" Petunia said. "I hope Professor Doppleganger is not one." "Doppleganger? Let me see... Hmmm, arrested twice for fraud. I don't think I would trust him too far." "I'll tell the boys right away." |
| George looked at Doppleganger. "You'd best not be selling me any Snake Oil on this." "Snake Oil?" Doppleganger asked. "Worthless medicine," said George. "Popular tactic of phony doctors. In your case, I happen to be be good friends with a Prince of Monster World." |
| "The advice I'm giving you is solid," Doppleganger said. "It's an old pagan ritual designed to destroy a succubus. I know what you're thinking. I was arrested twice on fraud charges because I deal with a shadowy world and a lot of what I try is pure guess work. There are no real experts on the succubus. Anybody who ever tried to seriously study them attracted their attention and became an ice cube. No thank you! So I went about it another way. I studied paganism and voo-doo.The procedure I told you about is my best guess on how to destroy her." "Thank you," George said. "We'll take it under advisement and talk to a few others." |
| A wizard named Muzzlebub had a completely different take on the succubus problem. They met him at the Magician's Lodge, really a Home For Old Mages. He had a white beard and twinkly blue eyes and if he wasn't so tall and skinny he might be mistaken for Santa Claus. He even liked to jolly laugh. "Ho ho ho! A succubus, you say? I thought they were all extinct. You actually saw one? And now you want to attract it back? Did she see you?" "I'm pretty sure she saw me," George said. Muzzlebub laughed. "Then your problem is solved. A succubus is compelled to approach every man she sees. Maybe not right away, but sooner or later. That's why they stick to darkness and hide all day. To minimize how many men they see. If she saw you, she'll be back." Petunia was already on the phone to Grimley. "Muzzlebub?" he said. "No, I don't see any arrest record or anything, but a wizard? Are you serious? Did Harry Potter recommend him?" "Don't mock me," Petunia said. "Wizards are for real. I know." |
| "Very well," said George. "I'll see about finding a nice, and empty, space, and simply wait for her there. I'll see about giving my employees the day off, and closing the clinic for the day." |
| "If you're serious about attracting her I'd give your employees the night off and wait for her in your office. If she's killed during the day it was unusual behavior. Only a brave succubus chances going out during the day. They risk seeing a man and having a fatal attraction. They can't resist going to visit him Your succubus likely had saw one of those Nazis. In visiting them she saw you. |
| "You're right," George said. "I'll pretend I'm working all night alone at the clinic." "But you won't be alone?" "No, Jerry and Butch will be hiding in the closet." "We will?" Jerry said. "Oh, right. We will." "Wait a minute," Butch said. "We better get further away than a closet. That succubus would know George wasn't alone if we were that close, I think." "I have an idea," George said. "We'll use the security cams in the clinic and feed them to the hotel down the street. You guys stay there and come if you see I'm in trouble." That night the experiment began. Jerry and Butch got a room at the Flatrock Hotel and set up monitor screens for the clinic's security cameras. George spread some paperwork on his desk which he needed to catch up on anyway, and waited. Butch looked at the monitor. "This is either going to be one boring long night or a whirlwind of excitement." |
| As George worked on his inventory sheets, he felt a presence. "You're there, aren't you?" Hands were placed on his shoulders. "That's right," said a seductive voice. "What do you want?" George asked, his eyes glanced at the camera in his office. "Thinking about asking your friends for help?" The succubus asked. "It won't work. The only thing they see on their end is you hard at work, figuring out numbers and such, and that's what the other one thinks you're thinking about." George glanced at a desk drawer, only for the succubus to open it, and pull out the Desert Eagle he had hidden in it. "Nice idea," she said. "But it wouldn't have worked." She tossed the gun into the trash can, and spun his chair around, letting George get a good look at her. "Do you like what you see?" The wolf gulped, as he looked her over. She was very attractive. "Um, nice haircut." The succubus chuckled. "Not quite what I wanted, but it is a start." "What do you want?" George asked. "That is the question," said the succubus. "What do I want? What I want, is you." She then brought her lips to his face, and kissed him, on the cheek. "What?" George asked. "You pose quite the dilemma," the succubus said. "You see, I only kill bad people." "Bad people?" George asked. "Those Nazis, they've done plenty of terrible things," said the succubus. "Same with the others I've killed - that young man the other day, raped a sixteen year old boy, but got off on technicalities, and the fact that his father bribed the judge. Plan to visit them soon enough." "Why were you on the cameras then?" George asked. "Bait for you," said the succubus. "Like I said, you pose a dilemma; you saw me, I saw you, and yet, I let you live. Thing is, I can't just let you live." She lifted up his hand. "No wedding ring; that's good to know. I'm going to make a deal with you." "What would that be?" George asked. "I can either kill you, or, I can marry you," the succubus said. "After all, it's not proper for a wife to kill her husband, at least until after they've had a child together." |
| Jerry and Butch look at the monitors and saw a different story, instead of the Succubus, they saw George hard at work. Jerry asks "What's he working on?" Butch says "I can't tell from this angle, something's wrong." |
| Jerry squinted at the monitor. "What do you mean something's wrong?" "Just keep watching for awhile," Butch said. After a few moments Jerry said, "It's repeating!" "Yeah, it just keeps showing the same 5 minutes or so over and over. What could be wrong?" "I'll tell you what's wrong," Jerry said. "That damn succubus is sneakier than we thought. Somehow she's jammed our system to send us bogus video. We better get over there before anything happens to George." |
| The succubus looked up at the camera. "Your friends are smart enough to figure out that something is wrong, and are on their way here." She then looked at George. "Well, we'll figure this out later." She kissed him. "Until then, no one can harm you." She then vanished, just as quickly as she appeared. George blinked. "Strange creature indeed." He then got his gun out of the trash. "On the bright side, she didn't kill me." |
| Jerry and Butch stormed in "Don't worry George," Butch said, "We're here." Jerry looked around, "Where did she go?" |
| "What did she say, Jerry asked. "She said she wants to marry me "Geirge answered. "Butch, check out our victims backgrounds again. If the succubus didn't lie we should discover they are all criminals." "So she's some kind of vigilante," Jerry said. "Interesting." |
| He had been with a lot of females, but none like her. When she looked into his eyes he felt like he was being offered paradise. George couldn't say why it was true, but he knew it felt true that she was the most beautiful and the most desirable woman he had ever been in the same room with. What would it be like to live with somebody like that? "George?" Jerry said and snapped his fingers. "Hey, you look like your mind is a thousand miles away." George focused on Jerry. "Something amazing has happened, Jerry." "Yeah, we just got hoodwinked by a succubus who jammed my video gear. I hope she didn't ruin it." "Don't say bad things about her, Jerry." "Whaaaat?" |
| "Did she put a spell on him?" Butch asked Petunia. "Yeah, an alarm spell," said Petunia. "Basically, someone harms him, she shows up." "Nothing else?" Butch asked. "I mean, did she bewitch him into falling in love with her?" "I don't think so," said Petunia. "But, that doesn't mean she used a different kind of trick to do so." "What kind of trick?" Butch asked. "Same kind of trick women use to get men to do what they want," said Petunia. "No! She did not do anything to me!" exclaimed George as he stood up. "Although, I'll admit that she is very, very, attractive. But, as for seducing me, well, maybe a little. Still, perhaps I should go for a walk, to help me clear my head." "That might be a good idea," said Jerry. "Do you want someone to follow you?" "No." A while later, George was walking along the sidewalk, talking to himself. "Seriously, they think that I was seduced by her. Well, I might be getting older, but that doesn't mean I'm dead. She might have been attractive, but that doesn't mean anything." Then he stopped, and looked around, especially right behind him. "Must be going deaf, or something." Standing within a few feet of him was a group of gangbangers. "Got any money, Gramps?" one asked. "What I have, is some advice," said George. "Go home." "Look at this old fool," said another. "Telling us to go home." "I say we take his money," the first one said, as he took out a knife, and flicked it open. George chuckled. "Are you sure you want to hold you knife like that?" The gangbanger looked at his knife, and that was all George needed, in order to turn around, and start running. "Coward!" the second shouted, as the group started running after George. "First rule of combat!" George shouted. "Fight only when you have to, and only when the situation favors you!" |
| A sultry voice says "Leave the wolf alone boys!" One of the gangbangers says "What was that?" The leader yelled "Who's there!?" Ahead, George heard screams of fear and then silence. |
| George didn't need to look to know the succubus had taken out the gang. He also knew his team would be notified to investigate and notify families. He stopped running and returned to the crime scene. The gangbangers were all frozen stiff. "Unlike them I don't kill painfully," the succubus ssid behind him. "I see to it that they feel nothing. By the way, we were never properly introduced. I'm Lilith, queen of the succubus. I could have the world trembling at my feet but choose only to destroy criminals." "That's the confusing part," George said. "Why target criminals when you are one yourself?" "Me, a criminal? I think not. I killed criminals who deserved it." "They deserve a fair trial. You cheated them out of that." "That's neither hete nor there. Come to Eden with me," she said as she morphed into a wolf. |
| If George thought she was attractive as a woman, seeing her as a wolf made him want to howl. "That's right," she said. "There are no limits. With me you'll have what you could have with no one else. If I wanted to I could make you love me, but that wouldn't satisfy me. It has to be your own free will from your own heart. All I can do is show you who I am..." She placed a hand on his chest. "... and hope. Think of it, George. Think of how wonderful our life together would be." Meanwhile, Butch and Jerry and Petunia were still talking about George. "What are we going to do?" Jerry said. "About what?" said Butch. "About George, of course! Him and the succubus? Come on, that can't be healthy." Petunia said, "I don't understand how this happened. Why would she want George?" "I don't know," Jerry said. "How would I know how a succubus thinks or why she does what she does? You're a woman. You would have a better chance of knowing than me or Butch. |
| An image of Tabitha came to George's mind. He saw her as a young girl. Saw her as she aged into a woman. Then, he saw her with a baby. He also saw Sammy, as he grew from a rambunctious cub, into an adult, with a cub of his own. He chuckled. "I'm sorry, but, I have responsibilities here." "What, this team you work for?" Lilith asked, as she placed her hand upon George's face, and carefully caressed it. "They're good friends," said George, as he grabbed Lilith's hand, and carefully pulled it away. "However, I have the responsibilities of a father, and soon, those of a grandfather. I won't abandon them." Lilith smiled. "They are not your blood, this Tabitha and Sammy, yet you care for them like they were. I can respect that." She then carefully drew him close to her, and kissed him, in a caring manner. "Until we meet again." "Better be in your real form then," said George. "Real form?" Lilith asked. "You're not human, and you're not a wolf, or anything else like that," said George. "Hard to even be friends, let alone anything else, if you deceive me with your looks." "Why do you say that?" Lilith asked. "A relationship has to be based on trust, not deception," said George. "Show me your real form, quit tempting me with offers of Paradise, and perhaps we'll go from there." Lilith grinned, her teeth being a whole lot of fangs that were more wicked-looking than those of the average wolf. "Perhaps, the next time we meet, I'll show you the real me. But, until then." She gave him another kiss, and vanished. "And, there she goes again," said George. He then looked at the bodies. "Well, now, going to need to deal with all of this, not to mention the paperwork." |
| "What are we going to do if George runs off with her?" Petunia said. Butch laughed. "George isn't going to be seduced by a succubus. Sure, he's a lusty old dog, but he also has more willpower than anyone I know." "I don't know how you can be so sure. After all, she's a demon, right? And she has demonic powers. " |
| "She isn't trying to do that sort of thing," George said, as he came upon them. "She wants me of my own free will." "Seriously?" Petunia asked. "She wants you of your own free will? You must have done something to impress her." "Yeah, told her I had some responsibilities right now," said George. "Like mentioning the fact that there's a group of five dead gangbangers a few blocks down that way." "How did that happen?" Jerry asked. "They wanted some money from me, so I gave them some advice, by telling them to go home," said George. "Instead, they pulled a knife, I gave them some more advice, and ran, still giving them advice." "You ran?" Butch asked. "Didn't feel like killing a bunch of idiots," said George. "That being said, they didn't listen too good." "What happened?" Petunia asked. "Seems she was watching me, and didn't like the thought of me being hurt," said George. "Can't say I saw how it was done, but it must have been scary for those watching, as I heard them scream." "Sounds like you should of dealt with them yourself," said Butch. "Probably," said George. "At least they'd still be breathing." "They probably would," said Jerry, with a sigh. "Let's take a look, and call it in." |
| "What's this new sport called belly surfing?" Butch asked. "Oh, that," Jerry said. "It's just fat guys in their underwear sliding down mud hills on their belly." "What will they think of next?" George was snug in his bed, just about to drift off to sleep, when he felt her presence in the room. "Not you again?" The succubus was standing there in a semitransparent white gown. "I can't resist you, George. You're like a candle and I'm the moth." "Don't get your wings burned." "How can you treat me so coldly, George? I know you're a passionate man. I've watched you." "What happened to showing me the real you?" "What makes you think this isn't the real me?" she said. |
| George got out of his bed, and walked up to her. "Maybe this is your real form, maybe it isn't, but that isn't necessarily what I'l talking about." "What do you mean?" Lilith asked. "Are you going to be there for me, when I get old and weak? Are you going to be there for me when I'm dying? Are you going to wear black afterwards?" "I could see to it that you lived for forever," said Lilith. "At what cost?" George asked. "I've got, maybe, thirty good years left, don't know about the rest, and that's if I'm not taken down by some nut with a gun, or if I don't get seriously ill. You've been around for thousands of years. To you, I'm as short-lived as a fly, and of no consequence, save as a means of momentary entertainment. What's going to happen when you get bored of me?" "You'd think that I'd just leave you?" Lilith asked. "You might want someone more physically fit, or someone who'll live as long as you will," said George. "There's no one else I want," said Lilith. "You're telling me that, in twenty years, when I'm forced to wear diapers because I can't control my bodily functions, you're not going to go after someone who happens to be twenty-five years old, and is physically fit?" George asked. Lilith chuckled, as she looked him over. "You might have a point there. However, I can promise you that I don't plan on lusting after another male for at least the next, um, let's say fifteen years." George smiled. "Well, that's not much, but it sounds like a start." "Yes," Lilith said, as she placed her hands on his shoulders. "It is a start." She then gave him a slow and careful kiss, as she lowered one of her hands, only for George to gently grab her wrist. "Wait until the third date," he said. "This is the forth," said Lilith. "No, it's just the first," said George. He then kissed her hand. "Of course, I do have some homemade wine, if you're interested." "It's been a while since I've had a good wine," said Lilith. "The stuff that's sold in stores is always missing something that small homebrewers always seem to put in, although I'm not sure just what it is." "It might be love," said George. Lilith laughed. "Maybe. But it's never quite the same." |
| George went to fetch a bottle of wine. He was always willing to drink wine, even with a succubus. "I may be alive for those fifteen years you were talking about but what happens after that? Do you just leave me for the first 225 year old that comes along?" "What do you take me for George?" "To be honest I take you for a demon, a liar, and a murderer. I can't say I find any of that attractive." "You're just playing hard to get. I can accept that. I fact I can even respect it, but know this. I will have you." "I doubt that. I find you physically attractive yes, but that's where it ends. I don't find you attractive in any other respect," |
| "Then I will have to work harder to make you like me, George. I'm a hard worker. Did you know that? Mmmm, this wine is delicious. You made it yourself, George? You have so many talents." "Thanks for all the flattery, but you are right. It's good wine and I made it myself. I even grew the berries to make the wine." She sipped the wine and her blue eyes twinkled at him. "Give me a task to do, George. Something that will increase your approval of me. It's like that Greek myth where he had to perform 12 quests. " "The Labors of Hercules?" "I think that's the one. What is my first labor, George?" |
| A familiar voice from behind says "How about the Fifth Labor, the Augean Stables I imagine?" George looked around "Butch? What are you doing here?" Butch says "Sorry to intrude, but your door was ajar so I came in to check. So, this is the succubus that's stalking you." |
| George turned back around, but Lilith had vanished. "Tell me that you saw her." "Saw her backside, and then she vanished, as if she teleported away," said Butch. "Talk about being shy," said George. |
| Petunia knocked on the open door. "Trouble in Disneyland, boys. General Jutjaw is on the phone and he is pissed. Wants us all at his office right away." Jerry clucked his tongue. "He acts like we're still military, but I guess we better go see what's got him so upset." The warthog general was furious. He pointed a finger at George. "I sent you to eliminate a demon, not start dating her!" "It's not exactly like that, sir." "Don't give me that. I've got a bug in your office." Now it was George's turn to get mad. "You spy on me! And listen in! That's not right, sir!" "No, it isn't and I'm only telling you so you will know that I know about you and the succubus and your hanky panky. Don't even think about lying to me about it." Petunia's mouth was hanging open. "George! What have you been doing?" "It's not like he says," George said. "The succubus is not exactly like we thought." "George!" Petunia said. "It kills people. It's a demon." General Jutjaw said, "George, you've been seduced. You aren't thinking clearly about her. Let me tell you a little story... "I was born in a swamp that was infested with demons. My daddy happened to be immune to them. That's why he wanted to live there, because we were dirt poor and it was very cheap to live in the swamp. But after having 12 children, his wife, my mother, died. We struggled along without her, but 11 of my siblings were killed by demons. That was all of them, George. My entire family killed by demons except for me and my dad because I was immune like him. "It was a tough childhood and I was as mean as they come. First thing I did when I got old enough to leave the swamp and go to the city was get in a fight and land in jail. Then a wonderful thing happened, George. There were some soldiers in jail for being drunk and disorderly and an army sergeant stopped by to pick them up. "They told him about me and he stopped by my cell and said, 'If you got so much fight in you, boy, you ought to join the army where you can do some good with it.' "I took that advice, George, and I've been grateful for it ever since. In the army you follow orders and you fight for something meaningful. You have a purpose. My orders are to eliminate the threat of that succubus. Understand?" "But she's a demon," Jerry said. "So what? You were all given silver bullets and wooden stakes. Use them!" |
| George laughed. "In that case, pull out your gun, and try to shoot me." "What?" Jutjaw asked. "Did you just tell me to kill you?" "I said 'Try'," said George. "Seems she likes me enough to protect me. A few hours ago, a group of gangbangers tried to rob and kill me - so, to avoid killing them myself, I decided to run. They tried to follow, only for her to show up. Next thing I know, she pops up, and kills them." Jutjaw scoffed at this. "She's probably saving you for later." "The thought crossed my mind," said George. "Still, you're supposed to be immune to her powers; let's put action where your mouth is - you kill her." Jutjaw looked at George. "You're crazy." "Not as crazy as you," said George. "You put a bug in my office; I deal with clients who would appreciate making sure that their Precious Diamond of Queen Elizabeth, or Precious Beth for short, isn't having word about contracting worms sent to the U.S. Military, especially since Precious Beth is the Pomeranian dog of our state senator, who might not like finding out about some communication analyst listening to his dog's issues." "So, you want me to remove the bug?" Jutjaw asked. "Sooner the better," said George. "Oh, and there hasn't been any hanky panky. Plenty of kissing on her part, but no hanky panky. Also, work on your sob story - your records say that you grew up in the inner city of Atlanta, which is a stink hole, but it isn't a swamp." "Maybe I had the record altered to hide the story of my childhood," said Jutjaw. "Ever consider that?" George grinned. "The thought crossed my mind. Still, I'm surprised at the fact that, if you're immune, why didn't you go after the demon yourself?" |
| The succubus was listening as George and Jutjaw talked. "So he's immune to demons huh? Well I guess I'll eventually find out just how immune he is. I guess George is right about one thing. The criminals I killed deserved a trial. However since I killed them I can also resuscitate them. Maybe I should ask George if he'd like me to do that? Of course I'll make sure they're in jail first. Now what do I do about this warthog?" She wanted to materialize and stand beside George but knew it wasn't the proper time. She wanted him to see her in her true form, which was actually very beautiful. It occurred to her just how misunderstood her kind really was. It often made her angry that she was considered evil. Yes she killed people but only criminals who were in the process of committing an even more heinous crime. She wanted to tell George that but knew he wouldn't believe her. At times she didn't believe herself. After all she was a demon and a liar by trade. It was often hard to remember what was true and what wasn't. One thing was true though. She wanted George. |
| "Me?" General Jutjaw said. "Go after the demon myself?" "That's right," George said. "You claim to be immune, so kill her." The warthog scratched his gnarly jaw. Unlike most civilized warthogs, he didn't trim his tusks, so they jutted out from his chin looking long and vicious. "Alright, George, maybe I will, seeing as how Mango Team doesn't seem up to the task." General Jutjaw had to bite his tongue to keep from telling George his plans, but if George knew then the demon would know and she might even be listening to them right now. "Where do you usually see her?" "In my home, in my office, could be anywhere." "Are you going home tonight?" "Yes," George said, "and you want me to stay there, right?" "Right." General Jutjaw hurried back to his office and had the lab boys send up the new drug they had been working on. It was designed for crowd control and would knock a person unconscious for exactly four hours. "You're sure it's safe?" "We've tested it," sir. "It works." Jutjaw looked at his watch and thought, "If go hide in George's house now and take the drug, that might work out well on the timing. Geez, why did I commit to killing her myself?" That night, when George was at home, the succubus came to visit him... |
| "You're there, aren't you?" George asked. "I'm here," said Lilith. "You are aware that the General is planning to kill you," said George. "Yes, and in fact, I sense that he has been here, if he hasn't left," said Lilith. "I thought I smelled pig," said George. "Tell me; can he kill you?" "Yes, but only if he's willing to pay the price," said Lilith. "What do you mean by that?" George asked. Lilith pulled out a steak knife. "You could kill me with this; stab me in the heart, and you could kill me, but only if you were also willing to die as well. If you're not willing to die, then, I would live." "What would happen if someone was willing to die?" George asked. "Usually, because they were already dying, they'd die," said Lilith. "But, if they weren't already dying, but were willing to die, then they'd be fine. They just have to be willing to die." "So, in order for you to die, your killer would also have to be willing to die," said George. "I can see why that would be difficult. Everyone likes living." "Seems to be like that," said Lilith, as she put the knife away. "I could bring them back." "What?" George asked. "The ones I killed," said Lilith. "I could bring them back to life." "Are you lying to me?" George asked. "I don't think I am," said Lilith. "I believe I can do it." "Might prove useful," said George. "Jutjaw is of the 'Attack, Attack' mentality. Me, I'll kill, if I have to. But, if there is another way, well, I'm sure you've heard about me taking care of the Prince of Monsters for several years." "I've heard," said Lilith. "And it turned out well for you." "Jutjaw wanted me to kill him," said George. "Thing was, Tabitha was with him, and cared for him, and he cared for her. Even if he wasn't damn near bulletproof, I would have had a hard time killing him." "Well, I'll be fine," said Lilith. "Like I said, I'm not that easy to kill." |
| Jutjaw woke up suddenly in his hiding place in George's house. "Must act quickly!" he thought, "Or she will know I am here." He crept through the house, guided by the sound of moaning. "That's disgusting," he thought. "How could George sink so low as to do it with a demon?" With his pistol held high, General Jutjaw burst through the bedroom door. Luckily the succubus was on top. Jutjaw fired six silver bullets into her body. |
| "First rule of shooting," said a familiar voice. "Look beyond your target." Jutjaw carefully turned his head, and saw George, sitting at a small table, which had a bottle of wine on it. The wolf was holding a half-filled wine glass. "Second rule of shooting," the veterinarian continued. "Keep your eye on the target." Jutjaw looked back, only to find the succubus gone, and the bed full of holes. "Where did she go?" George took a sip of his wine. "Home, probably. That being said, nice grouping. Would have killed me for sure." "But, I thought that, you and she were having sex," said Jutjaw. George poured another wine glass, relieved Jutjaw of his gun, and handed him a drink. "Maybe another time. Also, you snore." "I snore?" Jutjaw asked. "Started about ten minutes ago," said George. "That being said, she didn't feel like killing you, so she decided to put on a good show, for the both of us." Jutjaw looked at the gun in George's hand, and back at the bed. "I would have killed you." "Yeah, so you'd best buy me a new mattress, and fix the holes on the floor." "How did she leave?" Jutjaw asked. "I don't know," said George. "Also, you wouldn't have been able to kill her anyways - you didn't have the right mindset." "What?" Jutjaw asked. "I could have killed her with a steak knife, if I had the right mindset," said George. "How?" "She told me how to kill her," said George. "It's all in the mindset." The wolf grinned. "Funny how that goes." |
| The general stood with his hands on his hips, looking critically at George. "This is frustrating. How are we going to get rid of her? Or do you intend to keep her around forever? What's the deal, George? What if you get charged with being an accessory to murder the next time she kills someone?" [BBWOLF, this can't go on forever. How do we get rid of the succubus?] |
| George sighed. "If you want to kill her, go ahead. However, there is the price that you'll have to pay." Jutjaw looked at the wolf. "What is the price?" "To kill her, you have to be willing to give your life," said George, as he finished off his glass. "Are you willing to die in order to kill her?" Jutjaw blinked. "Are you saying that I wouldn't be willing to give my life in order to protect this country?" "I didn't say that," said George, as he refilled his glass halfway. "I said, are you willing to die, in order to kill her?" "So, in order to kill her, I'd have to be personally willing to die as well," said Jutjaw. George grinned. "That's the price. Are you willing to die, so that she'll also die?" |
| The General then thinks of what George said despite his personal beliefs, he then wondered if George was telling the truth and make a big sacrifice as a result, but then he thought, what about his family, what can they do if he's gone? Also MonCom, who would take over command of it? This is a lot to think about. |
| "Something else that you need to know General, is that she said she can bring back everyone she killed. What if we have her do that and make a truce with her? Even though she's a demon and known for lying, we may get the truth out of her. Besides I find her somewhat attractive. I've seen her in true form and she's beautiful. If we could prevent her vigilante murders and bring the people back, could we let her live?" |
| General Jutjaw shook his head from side to side. "I'm exasperated with this whole situation, George. If that's the best we can do, then let's try it. I'm always going to be in favor of killing every demon I can, but apparently this one is special. How long will it take you to work out a deal with her?" "I don't think it will take very long, General. If you don't hear from me within 48 hours then you can assume I have screwed it up somehow and am possibly dead." "Let's hope not. OK, 48 hours then." After General Jutjaw left, Jerry and Petunia and Butch confronted George. "What the hell are you doing?" Jerry said. George looked surprised. "What do you mean?" "You're playing Hotsy Totsy with a demon?! When we say we are Monster Mashers, the mash means stomp down and kill, not make out and moon." |
| "Just remember Sammy, and just how important he turned out to be," said George. "Everyone thought that he was a vicious creature that should of been put down, but he saved our lives, countless times. Lilith is dangerous, that I agree on, but, if it wasn't for her, we'd be dead. She may not be an angel, and is the exact opposite in fact, but she's not as evil as we thought she was. I'm not saying that we're going to be best friends, but we don't have to be enemies." "I still don't like it," said Jerry. "You're not the one she has a crush on," said George. "It's not like she's the one trying to kiss you and take your pants off." "It's not like you're resisting much," said Butch. "Given that she could kill me easily, I find it to be more survivable not to anger her too much," said George. |
| "The plan is that I talk to her and try to work out a deal. If she brings back the people she killed, with the exception of the Nazis, and if she agrees to either work with us or at least not work against us, then we won't try to kill her. If not then one of us, the one who is willing to die if need be, will kill her." "And who would that be," Jerry asked. "Moi," said George. "If all she is willing to be is evil then I am willing to die if that is what it takes to kill her. I don't care if she is listening." "Now George, why would you want to kill me," Lilith asked while materializing next to him. "All I want is the opportunity to love you and make you immortal like me." "What if I don't want to be immortal," George asked. "Immortality means I would have to watch all my friends here die off and then all the friends I make after that and after that forever. I don't want to do that." "Well then I will just become mortal myself and around the same age you are so we can die together," Lilith said. "Are you able to do that," George asked. "Are you able to give up your immortality?" "Of course," Lilith answered. "I'm not going to live forever any way. When I was created I was given immortality, not eternal life. Immortality means I can live for hundreds even thousands of years, but I too will eventually die." "And you are willing to give up those thousands of years to be with me for the forty or so years I have left?" "Yes," Lilith answered. "I'll bring back the criminals I killed, including the Nazis from Dimension 17, give you all the evidence you need to convict them and send them to prison, sign any treaty your General Jutjaw wants me to sign, and then give you the incantation that will make me mortal and the same age as you." "I don't know if I could perform such an incantation," George replied. "I don't have the heart to condemn anybody to the aches and pains of mortality and old age. I don't know if I could watch you suffer and die that way." "Why," Lilith asked. "You just said a few minutes ago that you were willing to die to kill me if necessary. Did you mean that or not?" "Yes," George replied, "but that was different. I would kill you quickly. Watching you suffer the aches and pains of old age would mmake me feel very guilty." "Come George," Lilith said. "What if I told you I could give your scientists information and technology that would eliminate suffering and pain? Death would still come but people would simply die in their sleep or have a massive coronary that they'd never feel. Death would not include suffering. Of course doctors would still have plenty to keep them busy. The technology would not prevent accidents or child birth pain or everyday illnesses. Just old age suffering." "Okay," George said. Let me speak to General Jutjaw. He may want you to make good on your promises but if anyone is willing to make you a mortal it would be that cold-heart of a warthog." "Not human though George," Lilith said. "I have to be a wolf like you." |
| "What?!| George said. "I didn't see that coming. How do you know I'll still find you attractive when you are a wolf?" "Let's find out," Lilith said. She transformed into an anthropomorphic wolf like George. George whistled and a grin came on his face. "Oh my, this is like the best of both worlds. You're super hot to me as both human and wolf." "I try," she said and winked. George tingled from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. General Jutjaw listened to the terms of the deal. "Does she have to bring back the fookin Nazis?" "Apparently she has to bring everybody back," Jerry said. "She can't pick and choose." [BBWolf, your add will be the last one about the succubus and then begin Chapter 5 which will be about a new monster, but you don't have to say exactly what it is yet. I created the Hitler Nanobots, Twiga created the Succubus, Hertzman created the Leprechaun, so it's your turn to create a monster now and then Chris's turn after that.  |
| A few hours later, George was at his place, trying another bottle of wine, which was made from gooseberries. With a sip, he knew right away that the next batch would need a bit more sugar, for it to be more to his liking. "A little tart?" Lilith asked, as she took the glass from him. She took a sip. "Yeah, just the right amount of tartness." "You like it?" George asked. "I like a tart wine," said Lilith. "So, how did things go with the General, after I left?" "I'd rather pull one of Sammy's teeth," said George. "That's easy by comparison." "He obviously doesn't like me," said Lilith. "He seemed to be very conflicted." "He's always like that," said George."So, what do you fancy to try next time we do this?" Lilith filled her glass. "That hard cider looks good." George looked at the bottle in question, and grinned. "Took me a while to grow those apple trees, and even longer to figure out how to make it just right." Lilith grinned. "One is never too old to learn. Next week?" "Next week would be a good time," George said, as he looked at the bottle of gooseberry wine. "If nothing else, this will be good for cooking." |
| Butch is watching the news and can't believe what's happening "Oh, you got to be kidding!" Jerry says "What's wrong Butch?" Butch says "You won't believe this but all of the Succubus' victims is suddenly coming alive." Jerry sat down and watched with Butch, "Well, it seems that George's Succubus kept her word." Butch asks "Question is, how would General Jetjaw react on this news?" |
| "Is someone hurt?" he asked. "My baby," the rabbit said. "Someone took her from me!" "Alright," said George. "Take a seat. Hey Freddy! You'd better call the police!" The proprietor picked up the phone, and placed the call. "Everything is going to be just fine," said George. "I don't even know how it happened," said the rabbit. "One moment, I'm pushing the stroller with her in it, and the next, instead of my baby, there was a bundle of straw, dressed up in my baby's clothes." "Anything else that you can recall?" George asked. "Did you blackout or anything like that?" "I don't know," the rabbit said, nervously. "My baby. Where is my baby?" "Jerry, Butch, mind checking outside?" The lion and gecko went outside, and Jerry came back in a moment later. "Well, there's a stroller with a bundle of straw wearing baby clothes," said Jerry. "Where is she?" the rabbit mumbled, before she lost consciousness. "She's fallen into a state of shock," said a paramedic, roughly ten minutes later, as the rabbit was placed into the back of an ambulance. "That was quick thinking with your jacket." "Not my first time," said George. "Are you a medical doctor?" the paramedic asked. "Veterinarian." "Right. Do you want the jacket back?" "That would be nice," said George. "Well, I'll see it gets to you," said the paramedic. The paramedic got inside the ambulance, and drove off. "Third time this week," said a police officer. "Perpetrator picks a female with a baby, snatches the baby, and leaves a bundle of straw in the baby's clothes, in its place. Too quick to be a person." "What are you saying?" Jerry asked. "Might be a case more for you than the likes of me," the police officer said. "Makes me glad I'm not the Primary on this." |
| Butch went out to the cradle but found no clues except the straw.He took it to be analyzed. "Perhaps the crime lab can tell us what field this straw came from." "What do you think you're going to find by analyzing that straw<" asked the rabbit. "It's just the typical alfalfa that grows around here and nearly everyplace else." "Ma'am," George replied, "if we tale the plants to the crime lab, they will find dirt on it. You're absolutely right that it grows everywhere. The soil however can be pretty much pinpointed to a specific location. Once we find that we may know where to begin looking for your baby. So calm down and let us work, okay? I know you're frustrated. I would be too. But calm down and let the experts handle this." With that the Mama rabbit calmed down. "You're right,"she said. |
| Jerry was at the forensic lab where the straw babies had been taken. "It's all the same straw," said the technician, a Koala with a goatee and black rim eyeglasses. "And by that I mean it seems to have all come from the same field. The dirt particles are the same for each bundle." "That's good," Jerry said. "Where's the field?" "Good question. We have an extensive collection of dirt samples, but I haven't been able to definitively match it to any of them. It does seem to be a red clay type of soil." Jerry nodded. "Do you have a map of soil types for the state?" "Soil types can vary a lot even over a small area." "Well, where would I be more likely to see red clay soils?" The technician pointed at the map and drew some circles with his finger. "Here, here, and here." |
| "I guess that means we'll be going some investigating," said George. "I always did like working with dirt and the like." |
| The team split into 3, George has site one, Butch has site two while Jerry and Petunia has site three. Butch made it to an abandoned farm, "Looks promising, I'll check the barn." As he enters the barn, he found the door sticking due to lack of use. He found the straw in a empty stable but it's dry, bleached out and coarse-stemmed. Otherwise a dead end. |
| Site 3 was a working farm and a big one at that. There was a long shed under which a dozen pieces of farm equipment were parked, two barns, the bunkhouse, and the main house. Jerry knocked on the door of the farmhouse. A woman in a denim smock answered. "Yes?" "Hello, Ma'am," Jerry said. "I'm looking to buy some straw." "Who sent you here?" the woman said. "This isn't a farm and garden shop. Maybe you should try JImmy's out on HiWay 78." Petunia was busy writing everything on her notepad. "Is this your wife?" asked the farm woman. "You don't often see a Gecko with a Pig, not that I have anything against mammal/reptile couples." "No, she's not my wife. We're co-workers. Thanks for your help. Would you mind if we walked along the edge of the fields before we leave? It's not often we get to see a big farm like this. Looks like you have quite an operation here." "My husband runs it, but go ahead. Take your walk." |
| At the second site, which was a field that looked untouched by people, George got out of his car, and started walking forward, when he stopped. He sniffed the air, and chuckled. "I thought that you gave up your powers." "Not all of them," Lilith said, as she came from behind a bush. "Of course, having a bus ticket out here helps." "What are you doing here?" George asked. "I still have contacts and connections with demons and the like," said Lilith. "I've also read the police reports. The one you're looking for, is a rather interesting creature." "Suppose you tell me," said George. "I don't know his real name, but everyone calls him Baby Straw," said Lilith. "He's the reason mothers shouldn't place their young children near an open window at night; he'll abduct the kid, and leave a bundle of straw in the child's clothes." "What does he do to them?" George asked. "He doesn't harm them, if that's what you want to know," said Lilith. "He takes them to his place, for a night, but, during that night, forty years pass to the rest of us. Being immortal, this doesn't bother him too much, but, for the families of those missing children, well, it isn't so nice. Then, he returns the baby, but, by then, someone else might be living there, who isn't even related to the kid." "So, someone wakes up, and finds a kid that went missing forty years prior, right on their doorstep, still at that age," said George. "That would be an annoyance, at the very least." "That it would," said Lilith. "Especially if you were not planning, or expecting, to become a parent right then and there." "So, where is his place?" George asked. "Not here, and not on this world," said Lilith. "You and your friends will have to trust me on that." "Let me guess, you still have all of your powers," said George. Lilith smiled. "They've just been reduced in power, but I know how to use them." |
| At site 3 Jerry and Petunia walked along the edge of the big field of alfalfa. "This is getting us nowhere," Jerry said. "Sure, they grow straw here and sure the soil is red clay, but so what? Nothing really connects, does it?" "No," Petunia said, "and maybe it doesn't matter where the straw comes from. Just because the straw babies that we know about all had the same straw doesn't mean that the next one will." "True, but I guess we can't let any lead go uninvestigated. Maybe the straw is important and maybe it's not. Anyway, write up your report and let's go see if George and Butch found anything." |
| George looked at Lilith. "So, this guy uses the straw from his place, correct?" Lilith nodded. "He just like young children. Doesn't mean any real harm, but he doesn't understand that humans get old during a forty year period." |
| Butch left the farm as Jerry and Petunia arrives, "This place is a dead end," Butch says, "Straw is very poor quality." Jerry says "That narrows is down to George's site. Let's get over there at once." |
| {Sorry for my absence folks. I just got home from the VAMC. I have a bad ticker and I also had a bad seizure due to a medication change.) "Can you give us the guy's address," George asked Lilith. "I thought you wanted to do things the mortal way," Lilith said. "But if you insist I can do one better for you. I'll arrange a meeting with him. As I said, he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. The concept of the passage of time is something he can't relate to." "Is he a demon," George asked. "Not exactly," Lilith explained. "He's what witches call a familiar, which is why he isn't very smart. Take that into consideration when you apprehend him." "You're breaking my heart," George said. "What about the people who lose their children?" "Look George, I'll make another deal with you. I will be your confidential informant to the demon realm but you're going to have to remember that demons don't always do things for evil reasons. Sometimes they do them out of ignorance." "Ignorance of the law is no excuse. Justice is blind." |
| Petunia was playing with her curly tail, twisting and untwisting it. "So this Baby Straw is a familiar? I don't understand what that is." "Don't look at me," Butch said. "I barely understand what a demon is." "We're a fine bunch, aren't we?" said Jerry. "We're hunting monsters and haven't even taken the trouble to study what the different types are." "I leave that to George. He's the vet. He understands these things." |
| "No, I'm just the one who doesn't always blast them into pieces," said George, as he typed away at a tablet. "That being said, looking up folklore and mythology does help on occasion. Funny thing is, you don't even have to grab a book anymore these days - it's all on the internet. Let's see what happens when one types in - 'babies replaced by straw bundle'." The four looked at the pages that came up. "Well, I didn't say that everything that gets posted was accurate," said George. "I mean, even books aren't always accurate." |
| Jerry looked up from his laptop. "It's a Lamia," he said. "A snake-bodied demon woman who flies by night, devours children, and leaves a bundle of straw in its place. They are a type of Strigoi, or Vampire." "How do you know that?" Petunia said. "Google. I put in witch that kills children" "Flies by night?" Butch said. "So where is it in the daytime?" "Google didn't say, but my guess would be it sleeps all day in some secure location, like maybe a cave or a tomb. Remember it's a type of vampire, so sunlight would damage it." Petunia looked concerned. "So how are we going to find it's daytime hiding place?" |
| "Funny," said George. "Lilith said that the creature we're looking for doesn't harm the children." Jerry looked at George. "Lilith? You spoke to her?" "I found her at the place I checked out," said George. "She knows who we are up against." "Every think she might be lying to you?" Jerry asked. "Why don't you ask me yourself?" Jerry looked right at George, as did the others. "She's right behind us, right?" George grinned. "Yep." Lilith picked up the laptop. "Yeah, I know these creatures. Always get into fights. Still, not the ones you are after." |
| Butch looks over the laptop, "We need to catch this Larnia before she claims her next infant victim." Jerry says "Better yet, we need to set a trap for it. Question is how?" |
| "If she was a vampire, which she isn't, I'd suggest setting up some type of bait for her," Lilith replied. "As I said though you aren't up against a vampire. You're up against a familiar. Trying googling "witch, familiars, straw" and see what you find. Maybe somebody in your mortal world actually knows what Baby Straw is. If not, you'll just have to take my word for it." George typed "witch, familiar, straw" into a search engine but found no results. "Dead end," he stated. "I guess we have to trust you." |
| "I know what a witch's familiar is," Jerry said. "It's an animal, usually a small one, that has a link with the witch. She can use it in various ways. For instance, her familiar might be a cat and so she sends it out into the night to spy on someone." "But what does that have to do with straw?" Petunia said. "I don't know," Jerry said. "Maybe the straw has nothing to do with anything. Maybe it's just something the familiar does. Or maybe the familiar can't take the baby unless it puts something in the baby's place and straw is an easy cheap way to do that." "OK, but who and where is the witch that controls the familiar?" |
| Lilith chuckled. "Straw Baby doesn't need a witch. He'd be useless to them. In fact, the last time some witch managed to summon him for her, shall we say, malevolent purposes, he caused her demise and took the baby she'd abducted with the purpose of sacrificing it to some demon. He can't stand the idea of child sacrifice. Every time he hears a baby crying, he thinks it's because some witch is going to sacrifice it, not understanding that maybe the child wants its mother, or something." "And, the straw bundle wrapped in the baby's clothes?" George asked. "To fool the witch into thinking that the straw bundle is the baby," said Lilith. "Witch uses a bundle of straw instead of a baby, the demon they try to summon with devour them instead. Demons might like tricking people, but they don't like being tricked themselves." "So, what does he look like?" Jerry asked. "Let's put it like this, you wouldn't look at him twice if you saw him on the street, unless you knew what you were looking for," said Lilith. "He's a shapeshifter, who can make himself look like anyone else, or anything. Stray dog, cat, mouse, bird, homeless bum; he could be any of them. That being said, when the witch discovered his treachery, she managed to rip his right ear off, with some magic that has persisted since - no mater what form he takes, or whom he looks like, he'll always be missing his right ear." |
| Butch heard this and says "Great, this familiar is like Pablo Picasso." Jerry says "What makes you think that?" Butch says "He too is missing an ear." |
| ""Well we aren't looking for Picasso oor Rembrandt, Michelangelo, Beethoven,, Mozart or even Thomas Flipping Edison," Petunia said. "We're looking for a somewhat naive but malevolent demon named Baby Straw. Lilith could you arrange a meeting for us with Baby Straw?" "I haven't actually talked to him in several centuries," Lilith said. "However since he's a cousin of mine I could summon him. Perhaps we'll have dinner together and I'll surround myself with babies to keep him comfortable. He won't go anywhere as long as they are there and i promise you they will be absolutely safe." "We'll see what we can do," George answered. "We'll have to set it up with the warthog because whether we like it or not, he runs the show. I just know that for me the show is getting tiresome. I'm ready to retire." "Me too," said Butch. "I'd love to go roam the safari in Africa." |
| General Jutjaw listened quietly, occasionally nodding his head. "...and so we need some babies. What do you think?" said Jerry as he finished. "Babies? You need some babies? Oh, that's easy, isn't it? I'll just requisition some babies from Supply." "I realize you are being sarcastic," Jerry said, "but perhaps some of your men have children and..." "...and they would like to let you borrow them so you can meet with a demon that steals children?"Jutjaw said. "Naturally we would make sure the children were safe." |
| "That pig needs to get her facts straight," said Lilith, after she showed up at George's home that night. "Straw Baby isn't malevolent, so much as misguided. After all, if he was truly malevolent, he would kill the children, at the very least." "He isn't exactly benevolent," said George. "Children vanish for forty years, and while that might seem like nothing to you, it is a long time for a mortal - time that the parents would have spent with the kid, taking care of them, teaching them, having fun with them, and watch as that time and effort brings fourth the future generations. Then, there's the psychological damage, and all of that stuff, as the parent worries for the child's safety - that sort of trauma can cause early deaths in people, as they just don't care if they live or die." Lilith nodded. "I've noticed this sort of thing." "Wait until you experience it," said George. "I remember when Tabitha got her arm broken by this clown monster; I did things to that creature that I still haven't told anyone about, and it haunts my nightmares." "Well, it's not like you killed it," said Lilith. "Can't kill monsters that easily." "Maybe not, but it wasn't like I poured him a glass of wine," said George. "I cut him open, you should know, like he was a dissection experiment, and I dissected everything I could find, every muscle, every organ, every bone, and anything else I found, before I let Sammy eat him." "It's not like that would have killed him," said Lilith. "Still, that sort of treatment would have been considered fairly harsh, as it's not easy to find someone willing to do that sort of thing to another being." "I was motivated enough to do it," said George. |
| "George you may not believe this but demons are just as capable of love as any other creature. After all, we were all created by the same loving God. Straw Baby doesn't realize that what he is doing is harmful to babies. It isn't like time is something that he can understand. However I could possibly arrange it so that he will understand if that is helpful." "How can you do that?" "I can turn him into a mortal and you can prosecute him if you wish. He'll be punished as a mortal in one of your prisons. Then when he dies he'll have a much better concept of what time is. Perhaps he'll think twice before stealing any more babies? Of course the fix is only temporary. Once he dies he'll go back to being immortal. However he'll have a better understanding of mortality and time if he lives that long. He isn't the brightest star in the sky so he might not survive prison." "Oh he'll survive. We'll see to that if it will teach him. By the way, how are you going to do that if you can't find him yourself?" "I didn't say I couldn't find him. I said it would be difficult. Difficult isn't impossible. However there is a condition? "There usually is. What?" ""I'll do it if you share another bottle of that fabulous homemade vino with me." |
| George grinned. "I can't help but like anybody who likes my wine." They continued to discuss their plans as they finished off the wine and when Lilith finally left it was agreed that Straw Baby would be turned into a mortal, arrested, and sent to prison for 40 years. Then he would understand, hopefully, that his actions were bad. Later, Jerry, Butch, and Petunia listened to George's account. "It sounds like a good plan to me," Jerry said, "although probably General Jutjaw will want us to find some way to kill Straw Baby instead." "I'll handle the old warthog," George said. "He and I understand each other." "But what if Lilith can't find Straw Baby?" Petunia said. |
| George looked at them. "Always have bait for the trap." Then, he grinned. "Tabitha's husband called me about an hour ago; it's a boy." Jerry grinned. "Congratulations." "I remember when she was a little girl," said Butch. "Wait, you're going to use your grandson as bait?" Petunia asked. "Isn't that risky?" "All plans carry risk," said George. "At least we'll be expecting him." |
| At the hospital, George and his team visits Tabatha, Butch says "Are you sure this is a good idea? There's got to be another way to catch the perp." |
| Tabitha agreed to the plan and when she and the infant werereleased they placed the baby in a strollerand staked out the area Lilith directed them to with the baby laying alone in the stroller. Lilith had already performed the magic that turned Straw Baby into a mortal. He would not know he was mortal until he was arrested. Now it was a matter of closely guarding the infant while remaining in hiding. George was closest. He wore a battle dress uniform complete with helmet and brush on his head. He looked like the weeds. |
| Jerry and Petunia were in a car not far away and in radio contact with George and Butch. No one knew exactly where Butch was hiding, ready to help when needed. "Come in, Weed Whacker," Jerry said on the radio. "This is Mobile One. Come in, Weed Whacker." Petunia punched his arm. "It's not a time for jokes, Jerry." "Mobile One, this is Weed Whacker," came George's whispered voice on the radio. "Weed Whacker, target has been sighted approaching your area." |
| "Nice to know," said George. He looked at his outfit. "I think I'm overdressed," he muttered. "I could have put on something more casual, and sat at a bench." That was when he noticed someone by the stroller. "Target spotted." He carefully stood up, and walked over to the stroller. "Excuse me." The person turned, revealing themselves to be a woman. "Oh. Are you a Park Ranger? It seems that someone just left this stroller, and it looks like there's a baby in it." George looked at the woman, and noticed that she was hiding her right ear with her hair. "Yeah, I'm a Park Ranger, and I came out here to check up on some reports about a missing baby and stroller." "Oh, thank goodness," the woman said. "I get worried about these sorts of things." "Miss, not to sound insensitive, or anything of the sort, but, mind moving your hair a bit," said George. "Been getting reports about a kidnapper who abducts children, and is known to have two earrings in her right ear, one seems to have a ruby, and the other seems to have an emerald." "I wish I could have earrings in my right ear," the woman said, as she moved her hair back, revealing little more than a stump. "I was brutally attacked when I was much younger, and I lost my right ear as a result." "Sorry to hear about that, miss," said George. "At least you're alright otherwise." "Yes, I am," the woman said, as she brought her hair forward. "It could have been much worse." She looked at the baby in the stroller. "I hope you find his mother." "I will," said George. The woman walked down the path, only for Lilith to step out in front of her. "Hello, cousin." The woman looked at her. "Been a while." "It has," said Lilith. "I tell you about my new boyfriend? Part of the Monster Mashers? Standing right behind you?" The woman looked back, and saw George looking at her, a gun in his hand. "What's this about?" "You've been snatching kids again," said Lilith. "I had to," the woman said, as she held aq hand to her ear. "She's back." "The witch that took your ear?" Lilith asked. "I thought that Richie took care of her." "Yeah, but she's back, and this time, she's trying to summon Jean." Lilith paled at this. "Not that bitch!" George walked up. "What's going on?" "Let's just say that some witch is trying to summon Jean," said Lilith. "Who's Jean?" George asked. "You know how there are relatives you hate, but invite to family functions because they are family? Jean's the relative that even they won't invite," said Lilith. "Last time she walked the planet, there was an extinction event that made the destruction of the dinosaurs seem like an outbreak of a flu by comparison." "The dinosaurs?" George asked. "Someone spiked the punch bowl, alright," said Lilith. George blinked. "Okay." |
| Butch was hiding behind the dumpster nearby and heard everything Straw Baby said to Lilith. "Interesting, I thought the Ice Age killed off the dinosaurs, could this Jean caused it?" |
| "It was Jean," said Lilith. "She enjoys creating murder and mayhem on a global scale. I have a feeling she's using the witch to come back from the underworld. When the witch accomplishes doing so she'll possess the witch and use the witch's powers as well as her own to destroy billions of people. If my guess is right with a month of her arrival it will rain nuclear warheads!" "Then we have to figure out a way to stop this Jean.. By the way, how do you know her Lilith?" "I wish I didn't know her but unfortunately I was forced to know her. She's my manipulative, evil sister. I can guarantee you she'll destroy every living thing on this planet and every other dimension if she can accomplish it." |
| The cell door clanged shut on Straw Baby. Petunia stood there for a moment looking at the incarcerated demon, now a mortal. Straw Baby lay on her bunk with a cloth over her face. "Too bad that's not the end of it," Petunia said.. "No," Jerry said. "Apparently this Jean demon is an even worse threat to humanity than Straw Baby was." Petunia sighed. "It's like we opened Pandora's Box." "Fortunately, we'll have help from the other demons since none of them like Jean very much. " "Is she really Lilith's sister?" Jerry shrugged. "I guess all the demons are sisters in a way, right?" "You know what I mean." |
| "Our relationships are very complicated." Jerry sighed. "You're behind us, again." "Would you prefer that I appeared right in front of you?" "That might help," said Petunia. "Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you." A cloud of black smoke appeared in front of the pair, and Jerry and Petunia were witness to something that looked to be pure evil, a vision of Hell, which shifted into the wolf form that Lilith had taken to using. Jerry turned his head, and looked at George, who was reading the paper. "Um, George, have you seen this?" "Scares the hell out of me whenever she does it," George said, turning a page. "I'd rather be startled than frightened." "I see," said Jerry. He looked at Lilith. "So, just how are you all connected?" "Let's put it this way, Heaven and Hell are each their own dimension, each with their own inhabitants, who have mirror images in the other dimension, such as Hate and Love, Generous and Greedy, Passion and Lust, just to name a few. Jean embodies the desire for Destruction, while her counterpart embodies the desire for Creation," said Lilith. "Hard to have one without the other." "And, just what do you represent?" Jerry asked. "Vengeance," said Lilith. "My counterpart represents Justice. That being said, neither of us is exactly Good or Evil, and let me tell you, Sally can be a real bitch when she's in a bad mood." "I take it that your names aren't really your names," said Jerry. "To know our true name is to control us," said Lilith. "Needless to say, we don't give that sort of thing out to anyone. Even Straw Baby here isn't foolish enough to reveal their true name. We might give out part of our name, which is enough to act as sort of a tether, but, said tether is like using a piece of string to chain an elephant to a tree - easy to break, but only if the person on the other end isn't worthy of our respect." Lilith glanced over at George. "Someone like George is one who is worthy of respect, and thus, I won't break my word to him." She looked back at Jerry. "That being said, if he wasn't someone worthy of respect, I'd kill him in a heartbeat, followed by the rest of you." "I'll keep that in mind," George said, as he turned the page in his paper. "Mind not scaring the others too much; we might need them to deal with the witch." |
| "Oh George you big softie. You'll notice that I said I'd do so if you weren't worthy of respect, which you are, you all are. In fact most humans are. Yes humans mess up but then we all do that.. It isn't about the number of mistakes one makes." "Then what is it about Lilith," Butch asked. "It's about making mistakes and correcting them. It's about not enjoying being the epitome of evil. Jean enjoys it. That's why she has to be stopped." |
| They stayed up late that night discussing the problem of Jean. No plan they could think of seemed perfect, but better an imperfect plan than no plan at all... Lilith would entice Jean into an ambush. They chose an abandoned warehouse as the site. There were plenty of places to hide. It was in a neighborhood that was deserted at night. Jerry couched in a packing crate with Petunia. "I'm surprised you came along. You don't usually want to participate in the battle missions." "I know," she said, "but I was feeling guilty about always letting you guys take all the risks." |
| "So, just what is the plan?" George asked, as he looked at Lilith. "It's simple; kill the witch trying to summon her," said the succubus. "I don't really like that idea," said George, as he looked back towards where the target would appear. "If it makes you feel better, this witch caused the deaths of thousands of innocent people via the plague, and got dozens of others burned for witchcraft," said Lilith. "Are we talking about the Black Plague and the Witch Hunts?" George asked. "Among other things," said Lilith. "She tried to gain control of Europe - don't ask me way, as I always thought that the place was boring - and she tried to summon Richie to help her, as Straw Baby wasn't really into conquering places. S.B. never really was into such things." "Who's Richie?" George asked. "Only the inspiration behind every God of War myth," said Lilith. "Destruction Troy, Sack of Rome, Siege of Stalingrad, Waco, and fistfights on the schoolyard." "Really?" George asked. "Well, maybe not Waco," said Lilith. "But certainly the fistfights on the schoolyard." George's eyes widened. "Schoolyard fights?" "Sin has to start somewhere," said Lilith. "That being said, to summon him, you must pay with a sacrifice of your enemy, in some form. The witch kidnapped the child of a king she wanted destroyed, and was going to sacrifice it to him, if not for Straw Baby's deception." "What happened?" George asked. "The witch presented what she thought was the baby to Richie, Richie asked if she had something against straw, the witch realized she'd been tricked, took Straw Baby's ear, and Richie devoured her - Straw Baby is Richie's younger sibling, just for you to know, so there was that familial bond thing - and you don't harm a demon in front of another demon, unless the other demon allows it." "And, why are you allowing us to go after your sister?" George asked. "She made out with my boyfriend in the locker room during school." George raised his eyebrow. "Really?" "A little more complicated, but it's enough of a reason for me to not interfere," said Lilith. "Besides, you're after a witch, not a demon." |
| "I don't know," Petunia replied. "Killing a witch is a bit much, even for us, no matter what her past is. Is there another way?" "No." |
| While the Monster Mashers remained hidden at various locations in the big building, Lilith stood in the center of an empty floor of the warehouse, raised her arms, and chanted... Sister, sister, blood of mine, I call thee hence while moon does shine; Let nothing sway you from your flight; Come talk with me this lonely night. There was the sound of cackling and then a woman sitting on a broom came speeding through one of the open windows, leaving a trail of smoke behind her. "Hello, Sister Lilith. What in the world motivates YOU to call ME. It's like an angel wanting to talk to a demon." "Don't put yourself down, Jean. We are sisters. How different can we really be?" |
| Butch is in the security room watching Lilith distracting Jane as long as she can and waits for the orders from George. |
| "So, sis, just why do you want to talk to me?" Jean asked. "Mainly to tell you to leave the place alone, and to stay in Hell," said Lilith. "Is this about your new boytoy?" Jean asked. "You'll be bored of him in a couple of decades." "Perhaps, but I plan to enjoy him during that time," said Lilith. "He any good in bed?" Jean asked. "Haven't gone that far yet," said Lilith. "But, he's good at making wine." Jean raised an eyebrow. "Takes patience to make a good one. You have to grow the plants, grow the fruit, figure out how to make the wine right, and then you have to wait for it to age." "A good wine outranks sex when you think about it," said Lilith. "Anyone can have sex, but not everyone can make wine." Jean nodded. "You have a point there." "So, you've heard about the witch that wishes to summon you to destroy the place," said Lilith. "She's been trying to kidnap a bunch of babies, but Straw Baby has been beating her to them," said Jean. "No Sacrifice, no Summon. Been planning on killing her myself; can't even kidnap a baby right. So, what have you got for me?" Lilith pulled out a bottle of wine. "From my, boytoy as you call him." Jean summoned a glass, pulled the cork, poured the wine, and took a sip. She smacked her lips in appreciation. "This is a good wine. It would be a shame to destroy the one who makes this stuff. It will do as payment, in exchange for services not rendered. Later." She then left. "It's safe to come out," said Lilith. George came out from behind a stack of boxes. "Will that keep her away?" "It's hard to find a good winemaker," said Lilith. "In fact, a good bottle of wine is worth a hundred million souls, even more if it's from someone who is really good at the craft." "That's a compliment, right?" George asked. "You'd be surprised at what we'd do for a good wine," said Lilith. "If nothing else, we'd keep the winemaker safe." |
| "Is that really all there is to it," Petunia asked. "Well if you want to make absolutely sure nothing happens to the world you could kill the witch," Lilith replied. "Kill her and she won't be able to summon my sister. That's not to say somebody else wouldn't summon her but the witch has been the only one crazy enough to do that in thousands of years. If you prevent the witch from summoning my sister, the world should be safe for a long time. Of course I won't say that you won't destroy yourselves but she won't play a part." |
| Jerry and Petunia and Butch were sitting in the office, killing time. "I can't believe we're all caught up on our workload," Petunia said. "Why not?" said Jerry. "We're efficient." "Where's George?" "He's off on one of his long weekends with Lilith." Petunia shook her head. "I'm worried about him. It's just not right to have an affair with a demon." Jerry shrugged. "It's the 21st century. Seems like nowadays you can have an affair with anyone or anything." Butch yawned. "I'd like to have an affair with a pepperoni pizza. Any body want to make it a threesome or a 4-way?" "Yeah, let's have a pizza orgy." * * * Chris, time for a new chapter and a new monster. Your turn. You don't have to name the monster in your first addition if you want to build some suspense. |
| "Tell me you know a trick to handling that dragon?" George asked, as he looked at Lilith. The demon sipped at her wine. "Yeah, a barrel of the good stuff." George raised his eyebrows. "A barrel of wine?" "Funny thing with immortal types; alcohol helps to clear our minds of another's influence," said Lilith. "Or, at the very least, make one fall unconscious, so that they can't be of any use to whomever is controlling them." "So, a barrel of wine, and they won't bother us, while we take care of whomever was controlling them," said George. The wolf sighed. "And here I was hoping that I might be able to enjoy my latest batch of Grape/Apple wine." "How much do you have?" Lilith asked. "Twenty gallons," said George. Lilith nodded. "That will do, for a while." |
| "There's only one problem though," Litlith said. "If you get this dragon drunk your next momster set loose may be a werewolf, a vampire, or something else. These creatures don't want to be destructive. They're influenced much the same way a puppeteer influences a puppet. Somebody is guiding them.." "So we have another mad scientist on our hands, is that it?," Butch asked. "Possibly,," Lilith answered. "The creatures have to be coming from Sammy's dimension. Could Sammy order them to get good and drunk? I know there are a few that will respond to that by becoming worse. We'll seal with them one at a time. The others need sedated though. Then we can try to figure out who is behind this." "You don't know," George asked. "No I don't," Lilith answered. |
| "It can't be anybody human behind it," Jerry said. "Nobody has that much power to command monsters from another dimension." "How can you be sure?" Petunia said. "They might have something to assist them." "Alright, I'm not 100% sure, but my intuition tells me it's a supernatural being doing this." "Does your intuition tell you who it is?" "Somebody big and powerful and not human." Petunia rolled her eyes. "That doesn't narrow it down much, Jerry." "Sure it does. My black book of evildoers." One of the things Jerry did in his spare time was chronicle everything the Monster Mashers did. He wrote up all their missions as though they were short stories. He kept lists of every monster they encountered and what their features were. He had a black book where he listed the most powerful mad scientists, wizards, warlocks, psychic gangsters, witches, and demons. |
| George rolled his eyes. "Any phone numbers in it? I'm looking for a blond with a redheaded sister." "It's not that kind of black book!" said Jerry. Butch and Lilith chuckled at this. "What kind do you keep?" Lilith asked, as she looked at George. "Physical diagrams," said George. "And wine recipes." Lilith looked at Butch. "And you?" Butch pulled one out, which was filled with battle diagrams. |
| "I have to agree," Lilith answered. "It must be somebody in the supernatural realm. It has all the hallmarks of a very powerful demon or sorcerer. It could possibly even be the source himself." "Wait a minute Lilith. You said the "source himself." What exactly do you mean by that? It sounds as if this source might be a person since you refer to him using a personal pronoun," Butch repliied. "Oh he's real," Lilith replied. "He's the vilest demon ever created and the source of evil for all who came after him. I know. He's my father." "But your father is..." "Lucifer,"' Lilith answered. "Beelzebub, Satan, he goes by many names and all of them are bad. This has his fingerprints all over it. Proving it will be hard and if it is him..." |
| "...if it is him," Jerry said. "We are in for one Hell of a ride." Butch chuckled. "Ever been to Hell, Jerry?" "No, and I don't want to visit. I hear the weather is hot and the service is terrible." "Well, if it's Lucifer behind this," Lilith said, "He is not going to come here. We would have to go there." "Fight him on his own turf? No way! That's always a bad strategy. We need to lure him onto neutral territory." "How do you lure the Devil, Jerry?" |
| "I wouldn't know," said Jerry. George looked at Lilith. "Any ideas?" "Luck would be good," said Lilith. |
| "The only One who has ever beaten him at his own game is the Creator," Lilith said. "Perhaps you could enlist the help of your clergy. If anyone has any way of contacting the arch angel Michael, Michael has defeated him." "I thought you said the Creator was the only one who has ever beaten him," Butch said. "I did but Michael was the weapon. There was a war in heaven and Michael was the Creator's general." |
| "There's not much chance of me contacting the Creator," Jerry said. " I'm a Taoist. For me there is no Creator, only the eternal Qi evoked as Ying and Yang." Butch stared at Jerry. "I didn't know that about you." Jerry shrugged. "Like how often do we ever discuss religion? Maybe never?" Lilith put up her hand. "Let's not get sidetracked because one of your group is unenlightened." "Are you talking about me?" Jerry said. "Maybe I am the only one who is enlightened and the rest of you are not." Petunia jumped up. "Stop it! This is why they say people should never try to discuss politics or religion. It just leads to a lot of arguments about people's opinions." |
| Butch says "One question, what can your father do besides run the hottest place on Earth Lilith?" |
| "That depends," said Lilith. "Mostly though, he's just the Warden of a rather large prison, filled with the worst souls imaginable." "And the fight with Heaven?" George asked. "Labor dispute," said Lilith. "The Creator wouldn't let the guards have time off, or sick leave, or paid vacations, or maternity leave. Hogged all of the nice places in Heaven, and wouldn't even let father put in a spa for his guards to enjoy." "Seriously?" Butch asked. "He fought Heaven over a spa?" "There were a few other things, but those were the big ones." |
| "That might be a way to get at Lucifer," Jerry said. "Turn his work force against him. If they go on strike, maybe he would be more willing to do what we want him to do." "And what is that?" Butch asked. "Cool it with the dragons. No more burning tire factories. What's up with that anyway? Did Lucifer have a bad experience with a tire? Blow out at 90 miles an hour?" "You think Lucifer drives?" "Are you kidding? He not only drives... he drives the hottest cars." ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| "If we talk to him we'll want you with us," Petunia said. "He's notorious for lying." "You don't need her with you," a voice said. "The stories about me being a liar are overrated." "I doubt that Father," Lilith said. "Now why don't you show yourself and let's talk business." |
| "If I showed myself you would all go blind," said the Devil. His voice was rich and velvety. "Oh, father," Lilith said. "Don't be so melodramatic. I've seen you." "Child, don't cramp my style. Half of being evil is making a bad impression. Now forget what I look like and tell me about this dragon problem." "He's burning down the Ohio tire factories," blurted out Petunia. "Are there no fire departments in Ohio?" asked Lucifer. "Of course there are, but the better question is why would a dragon care about tire factories? We think you're behind this. Possibly you have a grudge against a tire manufacturer?" Lucifer laughed. It was a deep hearty laugh. You got the impression he was someone who really enjoyed life. It did seem like a petty thing to do, burn down tire factories. "I think you're making more of this than it is," Lucifer said. "Sometimes a dragon goes haywire and starts randomly burning stuff. They aren't that stable mentally, you know." "Well, can you make it stop?" "Ho hum. I'll tell my dragon handler to do something about it. Lilith, when are you going to drop by for a meal? Mom misses you." "How about next Wednesday?" Lilith said. "I'll hold you to that." After Lucifer left, Lilith said, "Well? Are you happy now?" |
| "Let's put it this way, the reason he didn't show himself is because you'll probably think less of him if he did," said Lilith. "What do you mean?" Jerry asked. "You know the phrase 'Handsome Devil', or 'Devilish Good Looks', and all of those other similar phrases?" "Yes." "They'd immediately lose their meaning if you saw him," Lilith said. "By Human Standards, he's rather Plain Looking, and these days, is sporting a bit of a beer gut." "And by Demon Standards?" "Ehh..." Lilith wriggled her hand. "More or less on the Ugly Side of the scale. That being said, he's good with words, and he knows how to make Mom happy." |
| "The question is, will he keep his word and do something about the dragon," George asked. "He'll keep his word," Lilith said. "The problem is that if he does keep his word then there's probably going to be something twice as bad replace the dragon." "Like what," Butch asked. "It's hard to say. Somebody asked him to fix a fault in California one time. He fixed it by moving the fault." "If he moved the fault it would have created an earthquake,"' Jerry said. "It did," Lilith answered. "It caused the Big San Francisco earthquake." |
| "Well I don't know what else we can do," Petunia said. "Obviously we can't kill the Devil. That would disrupt the cosmic order of reality." Jerry looked at her with surprise. "The cosmic order of reality? Have you joined a cult?" "No. I like to read. Unlike you." Lilith said, "I wouldn't let you kill my dad even if you could, which you can't." "I'm back to my original idea," Jerry said. "Make life difficult for him so he has to do what we want. Let's organize his workers and have them go out on strike." "That sounds good," George said, "but I don't see any way to make it actually happen." |
| "Yeah, most of the workers are loyal to him," said Lilith. "Good wages, good benefits, Health Care, Day Care, Night Care, Parent Care, Vacations, Retirement, to say nothing about the spa he put in, at personal cost to himself." |
| "He put in a spa," Butch asked. "Yes," Lilith answered. "Why does that seem to surprise you/" "Well maybe because of the term "People in hell want water?" "That's ice water," Lilith said. "Father's spa gives people any kind of water they want." "And charges a fortune for it no doubt," George said. "Nobody said Father was stupid," Lilith replied. |
| Butch says "It looks like I need to consult my English/Japanese dictionary for this. But back in the matter at hand, I sure hope you have a plan to fight a giant anteater George, because I don't know any giant ants." |
| George looked at Butch. "No, but we all know a giant tiger-creature." Butch raised an eyebrow. "Do you think Sammy can get big enough?" "Might help if we had a photo of the creature we're dealing with, as well as something to use as a scale comparison," said George. "Besides, Sammy is usually hungry, and always looks forward to Tax Day." Butch and Jerry chuckled nervously at this. "Right, Tax Day." |
| Twenty-four hours later they were in Tokyo meeting with General Kamachi. "It is the type of anteater known as a Pangolin. Although in this case I guess you would say it was a people eater. Ha! Here is a photo." ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "I suppose those scales are very tough?" Jerry said. "Very tough. During the day it sleeps rolled in a ball. Unfortunately, it is too close to populated areas for us to us an atom bomb on it, but we have tried everything else. Not only is it tough but it seems to have a shield of some sort." Jerry studied the photograph. "So it's only active at night, eh? How many people does it consume during the night?" General Kamachi shook his head sadly. "Approximately 100 to 200 people go into it's belly every night. But there is no panic yet. Tokyo is a big place and many people know about the Pangolin only from seeing it on the TV news." "I wonder where it came from?" Butch said. "It walked out of the ocean one night," said General Kamachi. "How it got there I do not know. Just today we have discovered something very strange about the Pangolin. Inside it's brain there appears to be a hollow space, like a little room just big enough for a man to sit in." "That is odd," Jerry said. "Are you thinking what I am thinking, George?" George nodded. "That there might be someone in there controlling it? That it might be some gigantic bio robot thing invented by a mad scientist?" "It's a possibility, isn't it?" |
| George chuckled at the thought. "Well, no matter. We'll get a hold of Sammy, and he'll put this thing in its place." "And Sammy is?" General Kamachi asked. "I guess you could call him my godson, and he knows just how to deal with such things," said George. "That being said, if you hear about a giant gem-covered tiger, it would be best if such reports and recordings were conveniently misplaced." "Some sort of Top Secret weapon?" General Kamachi asked. "Not as such, but some things are known to happen." |
| "I'll see to it that nobody reports a giant tiger creature. After this anteater I'd say that should be easy enough. My people already have orders not to discuss this case." "That's good. Prince Sammy wouldn't like the publicity." "My people understand about royalty. Remember that our nation was once an empire." "Yes, as I recall that was prior to WWII." |
| But the attempt to use Sammy to conquer the Pangolin met with failure. The Pangolin had a Magic Shield that easily kept creatures like Sammy at a distance. Sammy tried several times until George finally said, "That's okay, Sammy. You gave it your best shot. We'll just have to think of something else." "I have thought of something else," said General Kamachi. "Our scientists are certain now that the Pangolin is a bio robot with a control room in it's skull. Almost without a doubt there is a control panel there and a comfortable chair and in that chair is sitting a mad scientist. Which one we don't know yet." "Yes?" Jerry said. "You already told us as much. What's new?" "What's new," said Kamachi "is that I have had Haz-Mat suits made to fit you three and equipped the suits with oxygen tanks good for 12 hours. The suits should be able to resist any digestive acids of the Pangolin." "Wait a minute," Jerry said. "You want us to let that thing swallow us?!" "Yes, once inside it's gut, you can make your way up to its brain, overpower the mad scientist, and take control of the robot yourself. Then you can walk it to a safe area away from people where we can destroy it." Jerry's eyes had grown wide listening to this amazing proposition. "But we have absolutely no experience with crawling around in a monster's digestive tract." "We'll be in radio contact," Kamachi said. "You'll have GPS and I can give you instructions about where to turn and which way to go." George had been nodding his head. "Strange idea, but I like it! And Jerry, did you forget I am a veterinarian? I know something about the insides of a creature, right?" |
| "Besides, it's not like this will be our first time inside of a creature's guts," George said, as he looked over at Sammy, who was now tiger-sized. "In fact, getting swallowed might just be what Sammy needs to bypass that creature's shield. He can grow inside of that thing, and bust it apart that way." "Basically, give that thing a really big stomach ache," said Butch. "I sure do know that feeling." "We'd best hope that the people that thing has eaten are still alive," said Jerry. "That thing has eaten, what, 3-400 people already." "I just hope it's not too crowded," said Sammy. "Size-shifting out in the open is one thing, or even inside of someplace that's empty, but, if there's people around, things might get tricky." "Of course, you could easily swallow them and keep them safe, right?" George asked. "Depends upon the number," said Sammy. "If it's over a thousand, it might get crowded inside me!" "At least we have a plan now," said George. "When we get eaten, make sure that Sammy is included." |
| Sammy, George, and Butch all put on the hazardous material suits, much to Butch's chagrin. He was not enthusiastic about the idea of being eaten by a giant anteater. "It makes me feel as if I'm an ant," Butch said. "I have a little more respect for myself than that." "I have an idea," Sammy said. "How about I swallow you both and then shape shift into a nice succulent ant. I'll bet the ant eater won't be able to resist a giant black ant. I'll make myself so tempting he'll think he's in ant eater heaven!" "Just get us inside Sammy," George said. I'll lead us to the things brain where I'm willing to bet we find Mad Scientist Farley's son!" |
| "Farley Crow's son!" Jerry said. "That would be a surprise. Whoever is in there must come out during the day. I mean, they have to eat, don't they?" "Maybe he's got food stockpiled in there," Butch said. "I'm taking a big gun with me. No telling what kind of parasites are in this thing." "I didn't think of that," Jerry said. "Think we might have to do battle with a giant tapeworm, George?" "I don't know. Listen! Is that it coming?" The four of them were standing on a street in the section of Tokyo where the Pangolin seemed most likely to appear. It was early night and no one was around. The citizens of Tokyo no longer went out at night. They could feel the ground shake as the monster grew near enough that they could hear his footsteps, then he came around the corner and saw them. "Wow!" Jerry said. "He's even bigger than I thought. What do you think? About ten stories tall?" His answer was a scream from someone, possibly himself, as the Pangolin's long sticky tongue came zipping out and swooped all four of them into the Pangolin's mouth. |
| The next thing the four knew, they were in a cavern of some sort. "We must be in the thing's stomach," said Butch. "If this is its stomach, I'm a robotic's engineer," said George. "Take another look at the bottom." The rest took a look, and saw that it was made of metal. "So, any digestive acids?" Jerry asked. George touched a pad on his suit. "Good news is, there is no digestive acids, but I am getting readings for both paralytic and knockout agents, so I wouldn't take the suits off just yet." "You can read Japanese?" Jerry asked. "No, but I can read the drawings that indicate chemical compounds fairly well," said George. "Also, the words are in English." "So, where are the people?" Sammy asked. "Actually, I just answered my own question; look at the walls." As the group looked, they saw the people locked in individual chambers, all of them unconscious, head to foot, to head, to foot. It was like they were - "This is reminding me of that scene in The Matrix movie, where Machines were using people as batteries," said George. "And that idea is scaring me. I'd rather see Lilith appear in front of me." "Do you want me to do that?" Lilith's voice came over their communication system. "I just got this lovely little black dress that's just-" "No, but thanks for the offer," said George. "That being said, I'll take a rain check on the little black dress." The group looked at the people. "So, you think they're being used like batteries?" Jerry asked. "Scary idea, right," said George. "In any case, what we might want to concern ourselves with is the who or what is putting them in these chambers anyways." "Something is coming," said Butch. |
| "If they are being used as batteries, then what powered this thing to begin with," Butch asked. "Solar panels," George said. "Or at least that's what I thought I saw as the thing was swallowing us." "You can thank Sammy for allowing us to become accustomed to being swallowed. Otherwise the shock may have killed us." "Speaking of me, let's figure out a way to lead this thing to a safe area so I can enlarge and destroy it," Sammy replied. "I don't want to do it in downtown Tokyo. It might cause more damage. Of course I could simply consume it from the inside and then separate the people from the machine." "If you can do that then do it already," Butch said. "We need to find out who's controlling it first," Sammy said. "When I destroy it they might escape." |
| "The quickest way to the brain is through the heart," George said. "The arteries on this thing must be more than big enough to walk through." "But how do we get into the blood system?" Jerry asked. "I can chew a hole in the wall," Sammy said. George felt along the wall until he found a good spot. "Do it here. If I remember my anatomy correctly, this spot is close to an artery." He was right and soon all four of them were splashing their way through the artery. The Pangolin's blood was green instead of red and Jerry found that soothing. "Red would have disturbed me," he said. They came to a branch off and George said, "Well have to climb up here to get to the head. We're in the neck now." The Pangolin seemed blissfully aware that explorers were in its bloodstream, but maybe it had no nerves in its gut, or possibly anywhere else, for that matter. General Jutjaw's voice came over the radio. You're very close to that hollow chamber in the brain now. George turned to Sammy. "Ready to do some more chewing?" Butch pulled out his big gun and held it at ready. There was a noise behind them and they whirled around to see a giant worm approaching. "Parasite behind us!" Jerry yelled. |
| Butch says "Crow's son or not, he certainly doesn't want us in there. How are we going to defeat that?" |
| "Yeah, we don't want to accidentally hit someone trapped back there," said George. "Sammy, do you think that you can take it?" "Let's see what happens." Sammy rushed the creature, and using his teeth and claws, the thing was soon torn to pieces. "This thing doesn't taste like a cow." George, Jerry, and Butch took a closer look at the thing. "A cybernetic organism?" George asked. "Uhg! Nasty piece of work. Although, seriously, who gives their own machine a parasite? A maintenance crew I could understand, but a parasite? You'd have to be an idiot to do that." "Unless this was the thing that was created to deal with intruders, and put them in those chambers," said Sammy. "After all, my people come in all sorts of shapes." "Yeah, but most of them are friendly," said George. "This thing, not so friendly." "Let's keep moving," said Jerry. |
| "You're next to the hollow spot," General Jutjaw's voice came over their headsets. "How on earth does he know that," George asked. "Did that old warthog put tracking devices in our suits? And what is he even doing here? I thought we were farmed out to the Japanese Army?" "I heard that com chatter Charlie Mike," Jutjaw responded. "Do your jobs and don't worry about me!" "Yes sir," George answered. |
| "Chew now?" Sammy asked. "Chew now," George confirmed. This time when Sammy chewed there were electrical sparks flying everywhere and after a while he stopped. "Taste bad." "It's electrified or shielded or something," Jerry said. Butch said, "There has to be some kind of door to get in and out of there." "Yeah," George said. "Sammy, chew a circle around whatever it is making the sparks. Stay just far enough away so you don't make sparks and go all the way around it and back to this place." Sammy began chewing and after a number of minutes he completed his loop around the room. "See anything?" George said. "Maybe door," Sammy said. "Come on, let's check it. Be careful. He might be sitting in there with a gun pointed at the door." "What makes you think he will open the door?" Jerry asked. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." The four of them crawled through the tunnel Sammy had chewed in the Pangolin's flesh until they came to a steel door that looked like a door on a submarine. "I don't think this is his main entrance to the room," Jerry said. "It looks more like some kind of emergency escape hatch." "Whatever it is, by now he knows we're in his Pangolin and he probably knows we're right here outside his control room." |
| "Perhaps I can help." "Who's that?" Sammy asked. George turned his head. "Lilith? Isn't the atmosphere supposed to knock people out?" The others turned, and saw that the wolf-demon was wearing no protective gear. She chuckled. "This stuff is nothing; you don't want to try some of the stuff my cousins can whip up." She walked up to the door. "Let me guess, electrified?" "Yes, and Sammy can't get through." Lilith chuckled, and extended her claws. "Let me try." She inserted her claws into the joints and ripped the door right off. "Welcome to Hell!" she yelled out. Sammy looked at George. "Um, who is she?" "Someone you don't want to piss off," said George. "Let's go!" |
| When they walked into the room they saw a man with balding head and and a pudgy pot belly sitting there. "Freeze," George said. "I would never freeze in this world or any other," the man said. George pulled his weapon to shoot and the others did as well. Red laser beams shot from the man's eyes and hit the weapons, making them red hot before any of of them could fire. "As I said I never freeze,: the ma said. "That's enough showing off Father," Lilith said. |
| Jerry did a doubletake. "What?! Huh? How?" "Meet the Devil," Lilith said. "Sorry he's not as impressive as your folklore claims." "He's just a weird old man," Butch said. "Uh, with Laser Eyes, Butch." said Jerry. Butch shrugged. "Other than that he could be my granddaddy." |
| George chuckled. "You were right Lilith; Devilish Good Looks and Handsome Devil just lost their meaning to me." The Devil chuckled. "Hey, I still got it where it counts. I can still give my wife a very good time, if you know what I mean." He stood up, and walked over to George. "So, you are the one who caught my daughter's eye." "Well, at least for the next few decades," George muttered. The Devil nodded. "Yeah, the whole Mortal/Demon or Mortal/Angel couples thing never lasts more than fifty or so years at a time; the blink of an eye when you think about it. Still, sometimes the most important moments are the ones where you sit in the garden, watch a plant grow, flower, produce seeds, and eventually dies, as it makes you reflect on events in your own life." "You put it adequately," said George. "You'd better take good care of my little girl, or I'll toss you in the hottest and most fiery lake Hell has, and I'll watch you burn," the Devil said. "Father!" exclaimed Lilith. "Well, maybe I'll hang him over it long enough to see him sweat." "So, just what are you doing here?" George asked. The Devil chuckled. "Just having fun." "What about the people you have in those battery-things?" George asked. "They are perfectly fine," said the Devil. "Most think that they are vacationing on a beach, or at an amusement park." "So, you're not tormenting them by making them thing they are trapped in some creature's stomach and being digested alive?" George asked. "I don't harm living people, not even mentally," the Devil said. "Of course, Devil Worshipers are an exception, but even they have to really piss me off." "And Biblical Stories just exaggerate things?" George asked. "Give a starving woman some fruit from a, quote, 'special', end-quote, tree, and folks think you're evil for helping them," said the Devil, with a sigh. "The tree wasn't even that special; it just made really good tasting fruit." "And the other tree the stories mention?" George asked. "The fruit on that one wasn't even any good," said the Devil. "It was like comparing a crabapple to a Delicious; the one I gave was from the Delicious, as it were, and the other one was the one that tasted like crap, if you get my drift." "So, you've never done anything Evil?" George asked. The Devil grinned. "I never said that; I just don't like seeing folks starve when food is available. I prefer to be more of a temptress anyways, and influence folks to do things that they probably shouldn't do, if they had honestly done some thinking." |
| "So the Biblical accounts about you being a tempter are correct then," Butch asked. "Pretty much true, yeah," Lucifer replied. "I love seeing people do stupid stuff. However I have never taken a person's life. Death does that. He's a demon the creator created to punish man for eating the fruit off that stupid tree. Man if I had had any idea how much trouble giving a hungry woman a bite of fruit would cause I probably would have let her go hungry." "Well what can we do to stop you from destroying cities like you're doing," George asked. "Well for one thing you can marry my daughter. I love weddings. As a gift to you I will award you and all of your dearest friends immortality. I will also restore the buildings I've destroyed. I didn't mean to destroy them. I made this giant anteater because I'm having an ant problem at home. The thing got away from me and emerged in downtown Tokyo. I've been trying to get it out of town without tearing up too much stuff." "Why do it after dark and why didn't you ask for help," Sammy asked. "Dah, Prince of Darkness and Pride..." |
| General Jutjaw didn't believe a word of it. "Can't you fools see that it's some mad scientist pretending to be the devil so he can beat the rap?" George sighed. "With all due respect, sir, his devil nature was verified by his daughter, a demon known to us. You'll just have to accept it." The devil kept his word about restoring the buildings and releasing the people. The Monster Mashers spent a few days touring Japan, a country of many wonders. They were in Kyoto, once the capital of Japan, looking at the numerous temples, shrines, and palaces, while elsewhere strange things were happening. * * * |
| George was touring one of the dojos, where swordsmanship skills utilized by the Samurai were still being taught. He was watching a demonstration when his cellphone beeped. |
| "George' General Jutjaw here. I hate to cut your vacation short but duty calls. I need you all to hop a plane to another beautiful tourist attrraction, which should please you. Something is terribly wrong in Jamaica. There's a storm sitting just off the island now. However it doesn't appear on weather radar and it doesn't look like a normal storm. Scientist's have analyzed it and they believe it is sometime of inter-dimensional rift, a sort of tear in time. We believe it is mad scientist Farley Crow's son." "Wait a minute," George answered. "Did we not prove that he aided his dad and did we not send him to prison for 30 years?" "Yes we did," Jutjaw answered. "You won't believe this but the correctional system paroled him two months ago and didn't bother telling us. He then violated his parole and escaped to Dimension 27, a dimension identical to Sammy's but not nearly as friendly." "I'm familiar with them," George answered. "We have no extradition treaty with them. Can we just blow them up like we did Dimension 17?" "No," Jutjaw answered. "Their technology is much better and besides we're still catching static about Dimension 17." |
| "How sure are you about all this?" George asked. "We're not 100% sure," Jutjaw said. "It might be something else we're dealing with, but we have to start somewhere, George, and this is the first deduction the analysts have made, that Farley Crow's son has something to do with that storm." "It sounds pretty far-fetched to me, General, but we are on our way to Jamaica." "Good. I'll keep you up to date with briefings. Call me whenever anything happens." |
| George and the group landed in Kingston, as they made their way through to their Jamaican contact, Butch asks "George, Who's Bob Marley?" George says "Only one of the greatest singer-songwriters who mixed reggae, ska and rocksteady. He's also from Jamaica. Why do you ask?" "There's someone back there who thinks I'm a reincarnation of him." |
| George rolled his eyes. "Then write a song, and if its a hit, make some money off of it." "Like you are with your wine?" Butch asked. "Saved the world with it," said George. "That's enough for a home-brewer." |
| "Who thinks you're the reincarnation of Bob Marley?" Jerry asked. Butch pointed at a man wearing sandals, jeans shorts, a loose, colorful shirt, and a straw hat. "That's him." Jerry approached the man. "Hello! Do you think my friend resembles Bob Marley?" The man grinned. "Mon, he be the spitting image. Where he be from?" "Not Jamaica. I'm not sure where." "Can he sing?" the man asked. "I don't know," Jerry said. "Do you want to talk to him?" "Yes! You be his bodyguard?" Jerry laughed. "No. Just a friend. Butch! There's somebody that wants to talk to you." George gave Butch a little shove. "Go on, see what he wants." |
| Butch went up to the Gentleman, "Do you really think I'm a spitting image of Bob Marley?" The Gentleman says "Yeah Mon, you look exactly like him." Butch says "The name's Butch Blackmane, me and my friends here are the Monster Mashers and we're here in investigate that storm just off the coast. I'm afraid I don't sing or play the guitar unless you have information about the storm, your wasting our time." |
| "Maybe the storm is what I know about, and I'm just using the Bob Marley thing as a means to distract people away from us," the Gentleman said. |
| Jerry looked closer at the man. His tan face was from make up, not the sun. "Okay, what's your story?" The man looked around. "Too many ears here. Meet me at the sugar cane sheds. Do you know what I'm talking about?" "Where are they?" "The next street over and down a block. Find the warehouse owned by Jilaxi Gupta. Got that? There will be a big sign with his name on it." Jerry nodded. "So you aren't Jilaxi Gupta?" "I didn't say that. Just do it. We've already been together too long out here. Good-bye." The man continued on his way. "What do you think?" Jerry said. George shrugged. "It's not far from here. We can at least check it out." |
| "Wish I knew who he was," said Jerry. "We'll find out in a bit," said George, as he lifted his phone. "I managed to record him." He pressed a few buttons. "Strange: Classified Beyond Classified?" "That has to be a joke," said Butch. "Our Security Levels are higher than anyone else's." "Not high enough," said George. "Then again, cousin Sam has had a number of strange things happen to him over the years, especially before formed that Felcanrod group of his. He might know something." He pressed a few buttons. Almost immediately, he got a response. "Anubis?" "As in the Egyptian god of the afterlife?" Jerry asked. "Obviously some sort of code name," said Butch. "There's more," said George. "According to Sam; this jackal is extremely dangerous, and can kill you with the least likely of things. Also, he makes Sam look like a Meter Maid." "This is the cousin Sam that took out a whole North Korean base to rescue someone he thought was a friend's nephew, right?" Jerry asked. "And this fella makes him look like a meter maid?" "Those are Sam's words on the guy," said George. |
They hurried to the meeting place. Once they got there they found that the man they were meeting had morphed into a woodchuck like creature. "You're a shape shifter?''" George stated as much as asked. "Yes," the woodchuck answered. "I'm a member of Prince Sammy's royal guard. Even he only knows of my existence through a few scarce records. He doesn't know I can change form and you are not to tell him per orders from your own General Jutjaw. Now you must commit yourselves 100% to the task ahead. General Jutjaw has assigned your team to me to me personally. My name is "Ghost" because I have no name. Our target is the one controlling that storm off the coast. You're correct in your observation that it's no ordinary storm. It's a combination of sorcery, nuclear reaction, and a controlled singularity. We're actually trapped inside of it but due to the gravity distortions of the event horizon it appears distant to us. If we stay here a week it will crush us. We must work quickly." "Wait a minute," George said. "I'm no expert in physics and quantum theory, but I know that a singularity cannot be controlled nor would we be alive if we were caught in one." "We're alive because the one controlling it wants us alive. He wants to make slaves of every known dimension." "Who," asked Jerry. "Major General Mitchell, my commander," the woodchuck stated. |
| "No offense," Jerry said. "But your story doesn't hold water. General Jutjaw would have told us himself if he wanted us assigned to you. I don't know who you are or who you are working for, but you can be sure we do not consider ourselves assigned to you." "What about the rest of you?" Ghost said, looking at George and Butch. Butch folded his arms across his chest. "It's like Jerry said. We don't jump ship just because some shape shifter tugs our sleeve in a sugar cane shed." "I'm sorry you feel that way," Ghost said and morphed into a Hellcat. "Look out!" Jerry yelled and yanked his little snub-nosed pistol out of its concealed holster. George also had a gun in his hand, but Butch had immediately charged the Hellcat with his own cat reflexes triggering him into action. The two cats twisted around in a ball of dust, snarling, biting, clawing. Jerry tried to aim at the Hellcat, but the two fighting cats were moving too quickly. He didn't want to accidentally shoot Butch. |
| Butch and Ghost are locked in each of them trying to clash with each other, "You think you can best me Ghost?" Butch says, and he responds "Not just you, your team mates as well." Butch noticed Jerry with the pistol and then overpowers and shoves Ghost, "Now Jerry!" |
| Jerry fired, but Ghost laughed. "Like that little thing even-" He found his mouth filled with the business end of a double-barrel shotgun. "Laugh this one off." The gunshot blew the shapeshifter's head off. The team looked at the one who had fired the shot. It was a jackal in a business suit, holding onto a sawed-off double-barrel shotgun. "He never learns," the jackal said, reloading his weapon. He looked at the group. "You are the Monster Mashers. I am Anubis." "What about him?" Jerry asked. Anubis looked at the body. "He'll be fine in half an hour, but he'll be very pissed off if we stick around." "How do we know we can trust you?" George asked. "Your cousin is Samuel Blacktail, and we've worked together in the past," said Anubis. "I'm the one who makes him look like a meter maid by comparison." "I thought he was referring to this guy," said George. "I sent him a photo." "Check it again." George looked, and saw the jackal at the very edge of the photo on his phone. "I guess Sam didn't know this guy at all." "He was right about me being dangerous," said Anubis. "Come with me. Also, delete the photo." |
| "Where are we going?" Jerry asked. "To the Blue Mountains National Park. I want to show you something and we need to be on the top of a mountain to see it properly." "What is it you are going to show us?" Anubis laughed. It was a dry sound like autumn leaves. "Here we go again, the human urge to hurry time. Time cannot be hurried. It marches at it's own pace and we can only wait for it to arrive." "I'm not asking time to hurry up. I'm asking you to at least give us a hint as to just what is going on." ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| "It's extremely complicated," said Anubis. "Here's a question," said George. "Is Anubis your real name, or some sort of alias?" "Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but that isn't important," said Anubis. "However, what I'm about to show you is." |
| At the park they took a tramway to the top of a tall mountain. Anubis pointed to the East. "There it is." In the sky the Jamaica Storm was brewing rain and lightning. From this height they could see it was a compact mass of dark clouds. Sheets of rain fell from it and occasional bolts of a red-colored lightning. "I've never seen lightning like that before," Jerry said. "It's supernatural lightning," Anubis said. "In the middle of that ball of clouds is a rift in time and space." "How did that happen?" "The important thing here is not what has already happened, but what is going to happen next." "And what is that?" Jerry said. "Did you ever blow up a balloon and then let it go so it went sailing around the room from the effect of the air coming back out of it?" "Sure. And making that sputtering sound." "Yes," Anubis said. "Imagine the earth being sucked out through that rift just like the air coming out of a balloon." "Sounds destructive." "Incredibly destructive. Everything would be shredded into dust-sized particles which would orbit the sun for millions of years until they coalesced into a planet again." "But what can we do about it?" "Find Farley Crow Jr." Jerry did a take. "Huh?" "That's right, son. That storm is manmade by one of your local mad scientists, the son of the infamous Farley Crow." Jerry groaned. "Anubis, can't you stop him?" Anubis held out his hands. "I'm not even here, Keemo Sabe. I'm a psychic projection from a million light years away. For me to try to grasp anything here would be like your shadow trying to shake your hand." "But you can give us information." "And I have done that. May the Force be with you. If I learn anything more, I will transmit it to you." Anubis faded away with the sound of tinkling bells. George and Butch and Jerry looked at each other. "That damn Farley Crow again!" Butch said. "Actually his son," Jerry said. "Well there would be no son without the existence of the father." "But why destroy the world?" Jerry said. George sighed. "It's what the Crow family does." |
| "Still, that doesn't explain how he was able to blow that other guy's head off," said Jerry. "I mean, he used a shotgun on the guy for Pete's sake." "Could be he has certain abilities, like the power to make small explosions, but that doesn't mean he has the power to affect the weather," said George. "I mean, Sammy has a number of abilities, and can withstand a great difference in temperatures, and can even cool, and warm himself, but I've never seen him affect the weather." "Still, we might want to have him here," said Butch. "Don't forget me." George felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. "Nice place for a vacation, and I've picked us out a very lovely hotel room," said Lilith. "One of those expensive hotel rooms, specifically the honeymoon suite, at one of those 5-Star hotels." "Um, we have the world to save," said George. "I know," said Lilith. "But afterwards, there's some things we need to do." |
| "Lilith can you stop Farley Crow's son. We now know he's the one behind this storm." "Yes," Lilith said. "I could stop him but it wouldn't be pretty." "I don't care how pretty it is. He's about th-o destroy the world." |
| Jerry tapped Lilith's arm. He had only recently become comfortable enough with her to touch her. It was almost like she wasn't a demon, except for her disappearing and reappearing acts. "Lilith?" Jerry said. "Do you know much about Anubis?" "Not really," she said. "I know he's not a demon, but it's not like demons are the only supernatural beings in the universe." "It bothers me that he said he couldn't affect anything here and yet he blew off that shapeshifter's head with a shotgun." "You answered your own question," Lilith said. " It was a Shapeshifter. If Anubis had aimed the gun at you and fired, you would have seen and heard the blast and yet felt nothing or possibly you would feel it but discover you healed unusually quickly. What he meant by not being able to affect anything here was that he couldn't affect reality. He can affect illusions." Jerry scratched his chin. "The Shapeshifter was an illusion?" "His shapes are illusions. He's not an illusion. But if you recall, Anubis said the Shapeshifter Ghost would be recovered from the shotgun blast in a half an hour." "Tyhat's true," Jerry said. "But I fought with Ghost," Butch said. "Yes. I said he's real, but the cat body of his was an illusion." "Then what does he really look like?" "A Shapeshifter?" Lilith said. "I don't know. They are always wearing an illusion for their appearance. Maybe without the illusion they are invisible. I really don't know. I guess I wasn't a good student at Demon School." "There is a school for demons?" Jerry said. "No, I'm just teasing you." |
| Butch says "You know, the last time we faced Crow Jr. He was trying to get his father back, do you think he's still doing that with his homebrewed storm?" |
| "I think he'd run into a bit of a Jurisdiction issue, where Sammy's folks are concerned," said George. "Farley Crow did a lot of damage when he opened the portals, to say nothing about bringing Sammy over - kidnapping royalty, accident or not, landed him in some serious hot water." |
| "Hot water isn't anything new to the Crow family," George said. "I doubt being in hot water even slowed the old man down." "I doubt it too," said Lilith. "However it would have made things a little more difficult. I'll tell you what. I have dinner with Father tomorrow night. Let me see if he knows who might be behind this." |
| Every week Lilith and Lucifer had a sit down meal together. Lucifer looked forward to it because all his other children ignored him. Lilith kind of dreaded it because the old man was as boring as Hell, which was why the other siblings ignored him. Lilith, being the most compassionate of a very uncompassionate lot of beings, felt sorry for him and so, every week, they dined together. "Well, father," she said. "How was your week?" "Splendid!" he said with his usual gusto. "I think we set a new record for souls inducted into Hell. We'll have to build an entirely new lava chamber, split the lava river into two branches, and send one branch to the old caverns and one branch to the new." "Fascinating," Lilith said. "Father, what do you know about Anubis and Farley Crow?" "Anubis was the jackal-headed ancient Egyptian God of the Dead. Presumably he vanished when the religion of ancient Egypt vanished. Unless you mean the one who walks today and claims that name for his own?" "I think that's the one I mean." "Sorry, don't know much about him except that he's not of this earth. Must be a dimensional traveler or a supernatural being or possibly a circus freak." "Father!" "I can tell you more about Farley Crow since his soul is right here in Hell. He's a hard worker. Want to talk to him? His work foreman is Tanzal. Just tell Tanzal I said you wanted to talk to Farley Crow. Care for some more shrimp? Fries? Cole slaw? Iced tea?" |
| "Oh, and your mother wants to know how things are between you and that mortal," said Lucifer. "You sleeping with him yet?" "Not yet," said Lilith said. "I'm trying to set things up so that they'd be romantic, but there's always some sort of distraction." |
| "That's the problem with mortals. They're always wanting things to be romantic. Whatever happened to a good old whoopie party?" I don't want a good old whoopie party Father. I think I'd like for things to be romantic between us too." "My, my. If I didn't know better I'd say my little girl has fallen in love with a mortal." "You're right Father. I have fallen in love with a mortal." "Now darling you know you could never fall in love with a mortal. You'd have to become mortal yourself to do that. Besides demons are incapable of love." "Well that's it then Father. Strip me of my powers. I love George." |
| "What?!" Lucifer said. "How can you even think of giving up your powers? You're my favorite child. It hurts me to see you going down this path. Would you trade eternal life for a few years with a mortal?" Lilith smiled. "You don't know how wonderful and powerful love is, father." "Translation," said the Devil. "Love clouds your mind. Maybe I should put this mortal out of his misery and then you can stop worrying about him." "Father! Don't you dare harm George in any way. I would never let you forget it and I would never have another dinner with you." "Calm down. I was just speculating. If you aren't careful with this love stuff you are going to lose your powers without any help from me." |
| "Would I really lose my powers?" Lilith asked. The Devil laughed. "Unlikely. Still, you must understand, the life of a person compared to us is like the life of a fly compared to them - a hundred years is nothing to us, but, to them, that's all they have. The odd fling is one thing, even angels have the odd tryst with a human on occasion, but a relationship that last decades, it can be difficult, for sooner or later, it will come to an end." "I know," said Lilith. "I offered him immortality once, and he turned it down." The Devil chuckled. "Smart. Living forever can be rather boring, as you know." "So, what do you recommend, father?" Lilith asked. "As a demon, I'd recommend that you leave him, and stick to someone your own age," the Devil said. "But, as your father, I'm going to tell you to pace yourself, and enjoy every moment that you are together, and treasure the memories afterwards." "Was there ever any mortals you were interested in?" Lilith asked. "Well, there was a time that I got pissed off because he went and got this woman, Mary, pregnant with this Jesus kid, and I decided to best him at his own game, although I soon found out that mortal fathers were fairly protective of their daughters," said the Devil. "But, there was this one woman, who plied her trade laying down. Turns out, she was fairly though herself, and it took me a while for her to let me lay with her. But, for some reason, I couldn't make myself to make her pregnant - just a snap of the fingers was all it would take to do the deed, but I found out that I couldn't justify it to myself to make her pregnant, like what he did to that girl." "What happened?" Lilith asked. "We remained close; I'd come to her as a client, lay with her, pay her, and then I'd leave," said the Devil. "Eventually, there was a raid, and she was killed. She got sent to Purgatory, so I still see her every now and then." "Does mother know?" Lilith asked. The Devil nodded. "Can't hide that sort of thing from her." "So, what's George's Fate?" Lilith asked. "I'm not sure," said the Devil. "I know he isn't on my list, at least not at the moment. Probably Purgatory, or even Heaven." |
| "Heaven would be a fate worse than Hell for George. I just can't see him going there. He would be bored." "I keep trying to tell people that," Satan said. "Your George is a good man. If you want I'll grant him eternal life along with all of his friends. Then he can run Purgatory for us." "You'd do that," Lilith asked. "Yes," Lucifer answered. "Anything for my favorite daughter." "I talk to George and see if that is acceptable to him. I think immortality for his friends and family might do the trick.' |
| Jerry listened along with George to what Lilith had to say about eternal life. He slapped himself. "Incredible! George, can you believe this? Tell her she's crazy." George shrugged. "If Lilith says it's possible, then it's possible." "I don't believe it!" Jerry said. Lilith smiled. "Why would I lie about it?" Jerry pursed his lips. "Uh... because you're a demon? And demons tell lies?" Lilith shook her head sadly. "You still don't trust me, do you, Jerry?" "No, I don't." |
| Butch says "Jerry, I doubt Lilith is lying this time and besides, what can you do for love?" |
| "The whole living forever sounds interesting," said George. "But, it would get boring. More importantly, we still got an uber storm to stop." |
| "That's right," Jerry said. "Lilith, I thought you were going to get us some information, not come back here with a bucket full of romance slop." Lilith rolled her eyes. "Calm down, Jerry. Just because you can't find anyone to love you doesn't mean you have to rain on everybody else's parade. Anyway, I did find out a few things. There may be a connection between this storm and the Bermuda Triangle." "Jamaica is not even inside the Bermuda Triangle." "That's true," Lilith said. "If you draw a line from Miami to Puerto Rico to Bermuda and back to Miami, then that's the Bermuda Triangle. But guess what happens if you draw a line from Jamaica to Bermuda?" "I don't know. What?" "It exactly cuts that triangle into two equal halves." Jerry scratched his chin. "Hmmm... interesting, but I fail to see how that leads to a storm with red lightning." |
| "The Bermuda Triangle disappearances are caused by a temporal rift. The rift was caused when Father rebelled against the powers that be. When Father rebelled a war broke out in Heaven. The archangel Michael and Father were arguing. Michael put a curse on Father and as a result Father was condemned to eternal exile. Michael literally bullied Father out of his rightful place in Heaven. Father was thrown out and when he fell to earth a great earthquake occurred. Father landed on Bermuda and the impact caused the rift. It nearly killed Father. Ever since planes and ships sporadically disappear into the rift. Father would be happy to restore them but each rift leads to a different dimension. The people are okay. They're just in a different dimension." |
| "Then what is the Jamaica Storm?" George said, "and how does it connect with the Bermuda Triangle?" "I think I see a connection," Jerry said. "The Jamaica Storm is a little bit of turbulence that broke free of the Bermuda Triangle and drifted south." "OK. So how do we get rid of it?" "Atomic bombs," Butch said. The others looked at him in surprise. "What?" Jerry said. "This isn't some old black&white monster movie where you drop an a-bomb on the monster." "I know that, but if this storm is a rift in space-time then that means energy is being twisted into unusual shapes. The only way to deal with energy is with energy and the only really big energy we can command is nuclear explosions. I say we bomb the hell out of it." Jerry sighed. "Well, it's onemore idea than I have. Anybody else think of something? OK, I'll call the warthog and see what he thinks." Surprisingly, General Jutjaw quickly approved a plan to drop a series of high yield nuclear bombs into the storm. "It's about time we got to use them for something," he said. Let's make the bombs be successful so we can move on to the next story. BBWolf, I believe it will be your turn to come up with a new chapter. |
| As the bomb dropped, the storm's vortex swallowed it where a explosion took place as it entered the vortex. The explosion caused the storm to expand then implode. As a result the storm is no more. |
| "Well, that's convenient," said George. "I'll say it is," said Lilith, as she wrapped her arms around him. "I still have that hotel room reserved." "You seriously want to go there?" George asked. "It's one of those rooms that normally goes for five thousand dollars a night," said Lilith. "Managed to get it reserved for just a total of one hundred dollars, for any time we want it." "How did you do that?" George asked. Lilith grinned. "Let's just say that the clerk was a huge fan of a certain movie star, who just so happened to get a flat tire right in front of the hotel, and she just so happened to ask him for a lift, and said lift got a flat in front of a certain restaurant, and since said tire repair would take a while, they had supper, and the pair hit it off. Needless to say, the clerk was in a very good mood." "You arranged for the guy's favorite movie star to show up, get a flat, pick him out of everyone, only for him to have a flat, and thus they had dinner together?" George asked. Lilith chuckled. "Had some help from my cousins, specifically, the one who represents Lust; don't worry, neither will turn into a Stalker-type - Lust tries to avoid those types, with some assistance from Chaos." "Well, I suppose spending the night in a good hotel room would be a welcome change of pace," said George. "Among other things," said Lilith. |
| George and Lilith headed for the hotel. "So tell me Lilith, I understand you're really jealous and possessive of your lovers. Some rumors say that you even become a stalker. I've seen that part of you a little. Does it get worse?" Lilith just grinned. |
| Meanwhile, the Devil was watching a bunch of monitors, sort of like a security guard, sitting back, and eating potato chips. He had an eye one of them. He scoffed at what he heard, and saw. Then, he was mildly surprised at what else he saw, just before the image was destroyed. "What is this place?" a voice asked. "This looks like Hell to me," said a second. "A fitting place for both of us." "No, I'm destined to go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins," said the first. The Devil chuckled, and turned around in his chair, to look at the latest arrivals. "I'm afraid that one of you is right, and the other is wrong; this is indeed Hell." He grinned, as he looked at the two; one had been a member of a biker gang, specifically the Hell's Angels group, and the other had been one of those Islamic terrorists that had tried to kill a large number of infidels with a suicide bomb, only for the Hell's Angel member to realize what was going on, and had managed to shove the terrorist into a spot that limited the damage, and thus only the two of them had died in the explosion. He looked at the Hell's Angel member. "I see you have a record, but you quite literally sacrificed your life to save everyone else in that airport, which looks really good for you. Thus, some leniency is to be given to you; a maximum of 500 years here, and then you get to go to Purgatory, with the possibility of an Early Heaven, in 200 years." "I'm going to be going to Heaven?" the Hell's Angel member asked. "But, I've done so many things; I know I killed two people." "You would have been stuck here for a thousand years before the possibility of getting sent to Purgatory," the Devil said. "The Heroic Sacrifice is why your sentence what not the full thousand years." "Um, good to know." "Now, please follow the guard, so that your torment can start." The man saw a demon, who seemed to be somewhat friendly. "We take it easier on those who did what you did." "And me?" the terrorist asked. "When am I going to Heaven?" The devil grinned. "Never!" The man screamed as he was dragged away by another demon. "I have explicit instructions about what to do with those who kill in the name of God." The Devil turned, and watched another monitor; a cult leader was preaching the following: "Kill all Monsters! They are the Devil's Spawn! Kill all Monsters!" The Devil frowned. "Not all of them - most of them aren't even related to me. Best let my daughter's boyfriend know about this." |
| Lilith told George, "...and it seems to be a cult that intends to kill all the monsters, the good along with the bad." "What was the leader's name again?" George asked. "Smiley Burnett." "Smiley?" George said. "That's a strange name for a cult leader." "What did you expect his name to be?" "Not Smiley. That's got to be a nickname." "He smiles all the time, even when he is preaching the worst kind of hate." |
| "And I suppose your father has his proverbial record?" George asked. "He has everyone's records," said Lilith. "And yes, that includes this guy." "Do they tell the future?" George asked. "No, but he's been making plans to bomb the Treaty Reaffirmation between Earth and Monster World, which your godson Sammy will be at, representing his parents, the King and Queen of Monster World," said Lilith. "It's not like Sammy would be bothered by an explosion; monsters don't die," said George. "But, a lot of innocent people could be hurt, and I know that Tabitha is planning to be there, and will be bringing her child, mainly to meet Sammy again, who will also be bringing his own newborn cub." "I'm glad you understand the implications of this," said Lilith. "And I see why your father didn't just drop it off on NYPD's doorstep; who would believe that the Devil is trying to stop a terrorist act?" "It's mainly because Smiley claimed that the Monsters were all my father's children; my father keeps track of that stuff, and most Monsters are not related to him." "So, what else has Smiley been up to?" George asked. "Lots of preaching, lots of advocating, and lots of assaults on Monsters by his group," said Lilith. "Actually, they'd be murders if the victims were mere Mortals, but Monsters don't die, at least not on this world, or even on their own world, at least not permanently." |
| Lilith laughed. "All villains are crazy comic book villains. Or do you subscribe to the belief that ordinary people are capable of monstrous acts?" "I know I'm not capable of monstrous acts," Butch said, "so I guess I don't believe that, but I think a villain can look like an ordinary, rational person and still be evil." "We'll call him Mister Ordinary when the comic book comes out." Butch looked away. "OK, you're just making fun of me now." Jerry yawned and stretched. "I read Little Lulu and Richie Rich. Looks like the first thing we need to do is make sure nothing bad happens at the Treaty Reaffirmation." "Agreed," George said. |
| Lilith talked to his father and he said "Hmm, usually I don't trust these outside sources but sense you're handling things, I'll let this slide." A demon come's in "Sorry to interrupt sir. but your 4:00 is here." Satan just nodded to the demon and then says "Now if you excuse me, I got work to do." As Lilith left, Adolf Hitler dressed like a French maid came in were Satan opens up a closet full of pineapples and Adolf picks a small one but Satan shook his head, then Adolf picked one big as a watermelon and Satan nodded "Seriously?" Adolf asked in a German accent. Satan just took the large pineapple, Adolf bent over and Satan shoved the pineapple up Adolf's behind where he made a painful groan. |
| Lilith rolled her eyes and left. What her father did for fun and games was his business. "Well?" George said when she met up with him. "Well what?" "What happened with Lucifer?" Lilith slapped her head. "I completely forgot what I went there for." "You are a dingaling," George said. Jerry nodded at the clock. "The Treaty Reaffirmation Meeting is today. We better do something about Smiley." "Now I remember," Lilith said. |
| "So, what happened with your father?" George asked. "He doesn't like Mortals running things he's interested in, but he understands," said Lilith. "That being said, he had an appointment with Adolf Hitler." "An appointment?" George asked. "Let's put it this way; if I told you what father does to that guy, you wouldn't look at pineapples the same way again," said Lilith. George raised an eyebrow. "Your father pelts him with pineapples?" "Adolf wishes that's what happened to him," Lilith said. She then looked at George. "By the way, ever drink a Pina Colada from a woman's bellybutton?" "Can't say that I have," said George. Lilith grinned. "Good to know." "You probably could have found that out from my records," said George. "True, but reading a person's life story gets boring after a while," said Lilith. "Of course, father is a real good speed reader; ten thousand souls end up in Hell on a busy day." |
| Jerry said, "Uh... the Treaty Reaffirmation Meeting?" They all piled into the Mashermobile. Butch drove. Brakes squealed. Tires hummed. Reckless speed got them there in time. They hurried into the auditorium. Smiley Burnett was speaking. "...and so I say to you that these abominations, these hideous creatures, these nightmare visions must be eliminated from our lives totally and forever. Only then will humankind know peace and tranquility!" |
| "Are you talking about just humans, or are you including the likes of us as well?" George asked, grabbing a microphone, thus interrupting Smiley's speech. |
| Even though Smiley's expression doesn't show it, he was furious with George's interruption, "How dare you interrupt my sermon!" |
| "How dare you set yourself up to judge people," George said. "And then encourage people to have negative thoughts and commit acts of violence. How dare YOU, sir!" The audience was stunned by George's interruption, but at the conclusion of his little rant a few claps of applause could be heard. George looked around. "I see a few of you know what I'm talking about. The rest of you should be ashamed of yourselves for following this rabble rouser and making him powerful." "Seize him!" yelled Smiley Burnett. "And toss him out of here!" |
| "You sure you want to try that?" George asked. "I've served this country for twenty years, including during the war against the Monsters. Lots of them tried to kill me, but as you can see, it didn't work. I killed a lot of them, not that it did any good; they don't die! For them, death is a nuisance, and they're back within the year, if not week. And, you know what, the war occurred because someone sent their Prince to our world. You know what's funny, I found that Prince, even funnier, that Prince was protecting some girl, because some building had collapsed on them, and he was shielding her with his body; does that sound like the actions of a monster or a person?" "He's leaving out a few details," Jerry said, quietly. "Yes, but they don't need to know them," said Butch, just as quietly. "I thought he was some sort of animal," continued George. "I had orders to kill the creature, and believe me, there was a lot of things I tried. I could write a book on the various poisonous gasses I exposed him to. Yet, after each attempt, once the room was safe, that little girl went to check on her 'Precious Sammy', and believe me, you have no idea how protective 'Precious Sammy' was to that little girl. I own a vet clinic, filled with sick animals from the local zoo, and once, while I was out, some poachers came in, and they thought that Sammy was just some big exotic cat, and tried to take him - they made a mistake though, and tried to hurt that little girl - they had to climb a tree to get away from him. And as for who that little girl is, that would be my stepdaughter Tabitha, and she's here with her child. And as for 'Precious Sammy', he's here too, with his own child, and I'm proud to call Sammy my godson." |
| Sorry I've been lax folks. I had a heart attack and triple by pass surgery. "If anybody would like to try to kill Sammy they're welcome to try but not here. We're the Monster Mashers and we're here to protect them today. Smiley you're under arrest." Just as George said that a bomb went off. Smiley had miscalculated the timer. Sammy and his cohort swallowed the explosion and protected the people. Nobody was hurt. |
| "Not cool, Smiley," said George. "Now we don't have to worry about getting you in jail on a difficult to prove charge of rabble rousing. Now we can just lock you up for attempted murder." George looked at the crowd who seemed to be wavering about whether to attack George or not for arresting their cult leader. "And you nice folks can thank Sammy for saving your lives. That's right, a so-called monster saved your life today." The people grumbled and mumbled and looked sheepishly at each other, but it was true. A monster saved their life. |
| George looked over at the large tiger-like creature. "Sammy, you alright?" George brushed his singed fur off. "Might need a new monkey suit, one that doesn't smell like smoke." |
| Smiley's expression changed to that of surprise. "A monster saved lives? This cannot be. THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!" |
| Sammy belched a puff of smoke. "There's your proof Smiley", George said as a police officer led the cult leader away. "I'd never have believed it", Smiley called out. |
| It's been weeks sense Smiley was arrested and the team is taking a little 4 week break sense there were no monster sightings. Butch decided to follow is roots to Africa as he put bags in the car and drove to the airport, two unexpected guests in form of grizzly bears, "Comrade Blackmane, General Klapton wants to see you." Butch says "Sorry boys, I would like to talk to whoever Klapton is, but my flight is in an hour." One bear pointed a berretta at Butch "He wants to see you now." Then he pistol whipped him knocking him unconscious. |
| George was in his garden, a bowl in one hand, and a pair of pruners in the other. He was standing before a honeyberry bush, or, as some folk called it, a haskap. The bush produced a blue conical bell-shaped fruit, which tasted something like a cross between a raspberry and a blueberry, and was tart. Setting the bowl and pruners down, he carefully lifted up a branch, and saw the fruit hiding under the leaves. He reached in, grabbed the darkest one, and carefully removed it. He pierced it with his claw, and saw how blue the insides were. He then popped it in his mouth, chewed on it, tasting the flavor, and swallowed. Then he said, "It's rude to trespass into someone's yard when they are busy gardening." "General Klapton would like to have a word with you." George got on his knees, and started picking the berries. "Tell him to visit himself, and I'll look at his dog, or cat, or whatever it is he wants me to look at." He then felt something pressed against the back of his head. He grinned. "Mind putting that away. My girlfriend doesn't like those who point guns at me." "You think I'm afraid of some wolf-bitch?" the person asked. "In fact, I might pay her a visit and - Uhk!" The gun was removed from George's head. "Let me go! Please! Just let me go! Don't kill me!" George chuckled, as he continued to pick berries. "Don't hurt him too badly; need him alive to tell us who this General Klapton is." He then looked at his would-be assailant, a human, who was hanging in the air, being held by Lilith. "I forgot to mention that she's very protective." "Say, those berries look interesting," said Lilith. "What are they?" "Haskap, also known as honeyberry, also called edible blue honeysuckle," said George, as he held the bowl to her. "Try one." Holding the trespasser in one hand, Lilith took a few berries, and popped them into her mouth. "Very tasty." She then looked at the man, and grinned wickedly. "I wonder how tasty you'll be." The man passed out, among other things. "I hate it when they do that," said Lilith. "Toss him in an empty cage, and get out here and help me," said George. "I'd like to get these berries picked before the birds eat them all." "Can you make wine with these?" Lilith asked. "Got some aging at the moment," said George. "Help me with these, and we'll have a sip to see if it's ready to be placed in actual bottles." "What about him?" Lilith asked, indicating the unconscious man. "Probably turn him over to the police if anything," said George. "Mind putting him in a cage until they arrive?" Lilith grinned. "Can I use my whip on him?" "I think the police might frown upon that sort of thing." "Uh, no fun." "Might be plenty of that later," said George. "Especially if the others are getting similar visits." |
| "Maybe they all need protection," Lilith answered. "I can't do it though and I wouldn't trust demons. I know some angels...". |
| Jerry and Petunia were sitting in the Ice Cream Shoppe eating Tiramisu Gelato. "I guess Butch is halfway to Africa by now," Jerry said. Petunia licked her spoon clean. "I'll be glad when he gets that out of his system. He's been obsessed with the idea of going to Africa for the last two years." "You don't have any obsessions?" "Not like that," she said. |
| Meanwhile Butch woke up and found himself bound to a chair in an office with Russian murals and a 4 star Russian General sitting at his desk, "Ahh, our guest is awake, good. Allow me why I summoned you here Comrade Blackmane, or should I call you Butch?" Butch says "General Klapton, I was about to catch a flight to Africa, why can't this wait until I get back?" Klapton says "This can't wait, you and your team are my ticket for revenge against your superior, General Jetjaw." Butch says "Revenge? For what?" |
| Back in the Vet clinic, George's prisoner awoke, to find himself strapped, face-down, on a cot. "Awake yet?" George asked "Why do you want to know?" the man asked. "Because you currently have a set of jumper cables attached to your big toes, and unless you're the sort that likes torture, you'd have been in for a rather shocking surprise," said George. "You're bluffing," the man said. "You're a doctor; you don't do such things." George stepped around, and lifted the man's head up. "You're right; I wouldn't do such things - but she does." At this, Lilith stepped in front of the man's face, in her demon form. "Hello, Tasty." She licked her lips. "I'm going to have fun with this." "Don't give him a heart attack, yet," said George, nudging Lilith out of the way. "Demons take great pride in torturing their victims; the agony lasts for a long time. So, I'll leave you here, until she's ready to start, or you decide to talk." "What do you mean?" the man asked. "There must have been a reason you held a gun to my head," said George. "Like this General Klapton person. Now, I have things to do, and Lilith is interested in trying some of my wine, so we'll just leave you here, while you think about all she'll do to you." George let go of the man, and he and Lilith left the room. They went to a room, where they could watch the prisoner, still strapped to the cot, try to free himself. "Now this, this cruel," said Lilith. "You didn't even tell him what I'd to him." "The imagination is a powerful weapon," said George, "Any idiot can pull fingernails with a pair of pliers. But, show the tools, and they'll be busy trying to figure out how they'd be used." Lilith grinned. "I'll have to mention that to father." George grabbed a bottle. "Now, let's see how this haskap wine tastes." |
| "Needs to age a little longer," George said. "I was afraid of that." "Our guest just crapped his drawers," Lilith said. "I astro projected an image of him on a spit. He'll cooperate now." |
| Klapton looked at Butch for a long moment. Then he looked away and drummed his fingers on the table. When he looked back, he said, "How much do you know about General Jetjaw?" "I know he was a war hero," Butch said. "I know he's got enough medals to start a mint. I know he's a good general and a good man." Klapton nodded. "What I'm about to tell you will surprise you and maybe at first you will not believe it, but I assure you that everything I tell you will be the truth." |
| General Klapton says "I was the founder of Monster Control not him, but due to my background with the KBG, I wasn't qualified to run such an operation. The U.S. president at the time needed someone to trust and appointed Jetjaw because he's a war hero." Butch says "Sounds like you were jealous because you didn't get your team." Klapton says "I got my team alright and right now, they're each gathering your comrades as we speak, where's agent Peteor? He should've got George here by now." |
| Butch grinned. "I'd hate to tell you this, but the fella you sent after George is as good as dead, if not worse." "What?" Klapton asked. "I'm sure you've heard the rumors about him having a demon lover, or some such thing," said Butch. "Superstitious nonsense," said Klapton. "He fell for someone who was ex-Special Forces, right? Someone with special skills?" Butch laughed. "She's special alright. Anyone who messes with George ends up wishing that they were dead." Back at the clinic, George decided to check on the prisoner. "What do you think will happen if I let her touch you?" he asked. "Before she met me, she tortured the souls of the damned for a living. Lots of practice, lots of experience. She could probably touch your toes, only for your hair to catch on fire, or touch your nose, only for your penis to rot off. Or, maybe she'll dissect you like a frog, only to let you live with your organs and such hanging just outside of your body. Or, perhaps she'll come up with something I haven't thought of - as in, it won't hurt you, but it will harm those you care about, and you'll wish it was you experiencing the physical pain instead." He lifted the man's head, and looked into his eyes. "Think about it." He let go, and left the room. "We don't harm the innocent," said Lilith, on the other side of the door. "I know that," said George. "But he doesn't." |
| As Jerry and Petunia were leaving the Ice Cream Shoppe, two men in trenchcoats suddenly appeared on either side of them. "I wouldn't try that," one of them said as Jerry reached for his gun. "Look at that car." Jerry saw a big black sedan parked at the curb. A man in the passenger seat had a gun pointed at him. "Get in the car," said the man. "General Klapton wants to see you." "Klapton!" Jerry said. As they got in the car Petunia said, "I don't see why we have to be kidnapped. Couldn't General Klapton just ask us to meet with him?" "You don't know Klapton," Jerry said. "He's a lunatic." |
| Just before the car pulled away, Sammy jumped out of nowhere and landed on the Sedan's hood, his sheer weight collapses the entire engine block, the two men yelled at it in Russian and tried to shoot Sammy with AK-74Ms but with one swipe of the paw and both guns ended up smashed on the pavement. The two men then ran, Jerry says "Thanks for saving us Sammy." |
| "George called me up, and told me that you might be in trouble," the large tiger-like creature said. "Someone tried to kidnap him, but you know very well that Lilith is always nearby. Seems that being threatened with torture from a demon was enough to make the man tell George that there was a plot to kidnap all of you." "Well, that's nice to know," said Jerry. "What about Butch?" "We might have a situation there," said Sammy. |
| "If I have my guess General you just bit off way more than you can chew. You see there's a reason the man you sent to George's hasn't showed up yet. My guess is that George's body guard Lilith has taken him out. She's either tortured information out of him and uncovered your whole plot or she's simply killed him. If I know George he'll be sending her or one of her friends after you. She may possibly even send her father and you certainly don't want to mess with him!" "Enough of your demon superstitions," Klapton said. "They aren't superstitions," Lilith said behind him. He turned to see Lilith and Lucifer standing there in their true forms. "I'll deal with you when you arrive in Hell," Lucifer said. |
| Klapton vanished. "What the hell!" Butch said. "Where did he go?" "Don't look at me," Lilith said. "I didn't do it. Daddy?" "No. Not me, either." In his secure room, Klapton observed the threesome on a monitor. "So that's the demon and her pop. I guess they aren't into high tech." He turned off the power to the 3-D Holographic Projector that had made his image seem so real to Butch. "I'll get my revenge on JetJaw yet, but I guess there is no use trying to fight the devil. I don't think I would have any luck recruiting angels to help me with my record." |
| Lilith unties Butches binds after used her claw to loosing the knot. Butch stands up messaging his wrists "Am I glad to see you two." Lilith asks "Aren't you supposed to be in Africa?" Butch says "Yeah, but Klapton's goons says that he wanted to see me, and they don't take no for an answer." Lucifer says "Do you need help getting there?" "No thanks, just needed to get home and get my car. My bags are in it. Where are we anyway? I was knocked out when they brought me here." Lilith says "An abandoned airfield, we followed two of henchmen after they failed to take Jerry and Petunia." |
| "I think we're going to have bigger problems," said Lucifer. "Like what?" Butch asked. An explosion occurred, and soon, the building they were standing in was nothing but debris. There was a number of tanks pointing their guns at them. Lucifer looked at Butch. "Do I need to state the obvious?" Lilith looked at the tanks. "Do you want me to destroy them?" "Personally, I'd love to, but it's not their time, and you know the kind of trouble you get if you kill someone before their time," said Lucifer. "That, and I don't want to piss Him off yet." "What?" Butch asked. "Him as in God," said Lilith. "Very strict rules regarding him and daddy." "So, what are we going to do?" Butch asked. "Lilith, get the mortal out of here," said Lucifer. "I'll stay here, and stall for time." "How?" Butch asked. Lucifer grinned. "I'm the Devil, Duke of Deception, Lord of Lies, Master of Mischief, and those other titles priests like to toss on me. I have a trick or two up my sleeve." At this, Lilith grabbed Butch, and ran as fast as a speeding car. Lucifer looked at the tanks, and snapped his fingers, causing a comfortable chair to appear behind him. He sat down, and snapped his fingers thrice more, causing a personal table to appear before him, with a large pizza with every topping on it awaiting him, along with a cold beer. Picking up a slice, he took a bite, and enjoyed it. He then took a sip of his beer, to wash it down. He looked at the tanks, which still had their guns pointed at him. "Any of you boys hungry or thirsty?" The crews of the tanks talked to themselves. Was this thing with a balding head and a keg-gut, eating pizza and drinking beer, really the Devil? Or just another monster? |
| "Well, there is sure a hell one way to find out!" said Sergeant McAllister. "Tank squadron seven, aim your guns and fire!" There was a series of booms as the big guns sent projectiles hurtling toward the devil. He caught them like they were footballs and grinned. He held up one in a cocked arm like he was going to throw a football. "Anybody want to go out for a pass?" "Holy Bat Crap!" said McAllister. "It's him! The devil himself." |
| While Lucifer is busy with Klapton's men, Liliith took Butch home, "Thanks Lilith, now I'm off to Africa." "I wouldn't go to Africa just yet," says a familiar voice, Butch saw General Jutjaw, "You saw off hand how relentless General Klapton is, he'll hunt you down there quite easily." Butch says "He said he founded Monster Control, is that true?" |
| "Well, it was during the beginning days of the conflict with the Monsters that we worked together," said General Jutjaw. "We had a difference in tactics though - he was in favor of sending massive waves of soldiers, while I was more in favor of sending in highly trained squads. My plan won in the end - mainly the idea was that you might only lose a few soldiers at most, as opposed to hundreds, if not thousands - if worse came to worse. Now, we were working with the Russians, as well as everyone else, but then he started doing some illegal things involving the creatures, and I don't mean what George did, by taking one of them and turning them into a pet!" "Excuse me?" Sammy asked. "No offence meant," said Jutjaw. "I swept that whole bit under the rug as Scientific Studies. I didn't like it, but it wasn't like what Klapton did - he was trying to create super-soldiers from the creatures' D.N.A., which is against fifty or so laws all over the world, after all, you might end up with a race that decides that it doesn't want to be used as a weapon or something." George chuckled. "Sounds like history trying to repeat itself." "Well, this particular project didn't work at all, and backfired in a bad way, unlike the project that created us, which backfired in a good way," said Jutjaw. |
| Jerry strolled in from the kitchen. "What's going on?" Butch said. "I leave for Africa and suddenly everybody is in my house?" "Relax, I just got here. Came in the back door. I've got a key, remember? We were worried about you after we discovered General Klapton was making trouble." "Still hard to believe he would send goons to kidnap me. I thought he was a patriot." "I don't know what he is now," Jerry said. "Question is, what do we do about him?" |
| "The end solution is simple - arrest him and have him court-martialed," said George. "Kidnapping is a crime after all. The tricky thing is everything between now and the arrest." |
| Guys I apologize for ducking out so much recently. I'm still in the hospital recuperating from heart surgery and working while I;m here so.... Meanwhile Lucifer was hell with Klapton's men in a literal sense. He pitched the artillery shells back at them totally destroying them. Then he told their spirits "You have a new commander now and there will be hell to pay!" |
| Rest and recover, Chris. "I guess we have to find Klapton first," Jerry said. "That holograph thing was pretty slick. I wonder if he thought of it himself?" "He's no scientific genius," Jetjaw said. "He's probably stealing secrets from government laboratories." "You two never have liked each other , have you?" "Klapton has always been an unpredictable maniac, but no one believed me when I told them." |
| Suddenly a sound was heard outside, Butch peeked out and saw a large tank, "Uhh General, I hope you arranged a mobile position to guard the place." Jetjaw says "Huh? What are you talking about?" Butch shows him as he draws the curtains, "You know I don't arrange for tanks to go out on the streets, it'll scare the neighbors. That's a T-90 battle tank." George says "You're right General, Klapton can be unpredictable, let's leave before it starts firing on us." |
| "Let's leave out the back way," said George. "That being said, let's make sure it's safe first." |
| "It's safe," Lilith said. George looked and the tank had been turned into a cartoon character. |
| "Th-th-th-that's all, folks!" it said. George said, "I've seen that pig somewhere before." "I wonder where Klapton is right now," Jerry said. Petunia said, "He's probably got a secret, hidden lair. These lunatic types always do." "We need to find it." "Or else trick him into coming out of it." |
| Somewhere within the sewers, Klapton gotten very upset on what just happened, "How did that just happen? I was about to level Jutjaw's forces with a remote-controlled tank, then it turned into some cartoon pig." One of his men says "That's got to be the devil." "WHAT?!!! THAT GUY IN RED TURNS TANKS INTO PIGS?!!!" Then he calmed himself, "Nevermind," He tuned to a musclebound Russian "Boris, I have a job for you, go out there, find a wolf, a lion, a gecko and a pig, then eliminate them any way you can." Boris says "It shall be done General Klapton." |
| "Um, boss, you might want to specify which wolf, lion, gecko, and pig you want him to kill," said another henchman. "We don't want him to kill the wrong target." |
| "Dammit!" Klapton said. "You know which wolf, lion, pig, and gecko I mean. I'm not talking about the Yellow Brick Road. I'm talking about Team Mango of the Monster Mashers." "Oh, right, Chief," said the henchman. "Probably we would have got the right ones anyway because what's the odds of their being TWO groups each with a wolf, lion, pig, and gecko in it?" "I don't pay you to do probability calculations. Get out there and kill!" |
| Meanwhile Lilith was trying to figure out the best way to flush Klapton out. She knew her father would know his whereabouts but Lucifer had done about as much as he could to help Team Mango. After all everything he did was suppose to be evil. Doing good would ruin his reputation not to mention his business. "Let me put out some feelers," Lilith said. "I may be able to track Klapton." |
| Jerry and Petunia had assembled a map that showed known incidents involving Klapton along with times. Then they constructed a timeline and estimated how far Klapton traveled based on the map and times. Jerry scratched his head. "If I knew how to program a computer it could probably take this data and give us a rough area where Klapton might have his secret lair. Petunia put her hands on her hips. "Well, you don't have to program the darn thing yourself. I'm sure General Jutjaw will give you some computer guys to help out." "You're right. I'm just used to doing everything myself. I'll call Jutjaw right now." |
| George takes Butch to his clinic for safekeeping, Butch just sighs "I guess my Africa trip will just have to wait until General Klapton is dealt with. That guy's worse then bad borsht. Are you sure this place is safe from that mad Russian?" |
| George laughed. "Probably not, but given he's sent one of his goons here, he might not be too eager to send another." "You don't have a whole lot of patients here," said Butch. "The zoo's vet hasn't had too many sick or injured animals to deal with," said George. "Still get the odd cat or dog though." "So, what do you do?" Butch asked. "I work on my garden," said George. "Been picking honeyberries, although I've been watching the strawberries, and a few other things." |
| "Is it hard to make wine," Butch asked. "It takes patience. You don't want to rush it or it doesn't taste right. Want to try some wine? I have a bottle of wine I was saving for a special occasion but I think we'll celebrate General Klapton's surrender. Believe me he will surrender too. He's done gone and mad Lilith angry. So she's gunning for him. She's liable to turn him inside out and let him suffocate on his own flesh." She wouldn't do that would she?" |
| The computer geeks that Jutjaw sent were a gecko and a turtle. The gecko was a ball of nervous energy while the turtle was lethargic and never said more than a word or two. The gecko's name was Reckless and the turtle's name was Saul. "Here is what we calculated," said Reckless. "As you can see, it's an area centered on Hard Rock City. It's quite possible he's in the sub-basement of one of the buildings." "Interesting," Jerry said. "And difficult to check. We would have to try to get into the basement of every building." "So?" Reckless said. "It's not like there are an infinite number of buildings in Hard Rock City. What do you think, Saul? Maybe a hundred buildings with possible sub-basements for a lair?" "Maybe," Saul said. |
| Butch says "If that's the case, it'll take us days if not weeks to find him." George says "We can rule out government buildings and police departments, I doubt he is any of them, but we still need an edge." Meanwhile the man General Klapton hired is just outside, "Boss, I found the place the wolf works." Klapton says over the radio, "Careful, the last person I sent ended up M.I.A." "Don't worry Boss, no one get's the best out of Boris. I'll call back once I slayed him." |
| "Hey, who's this guy on your security cameras?" Reckless asked. George looked, and saw the figure in the trees, just beyond the edge of his property. "Don't know him. That being said, he isn't coming through the front door with a sick puppy or kitten." "Do you want me to take care of him?" Lilith asked. George chuckled, as he picked up a pair of pruners. "Let me have some fun with him first, before you come out to save him." "Those only have one blade, and it isn't very long, only an inch and a half at most," said Butch. "Long enough to tear out the jugular and those other veins and arteries," said George. "Have some popcorn." He then picked up a bowl, and went outside. George walked over to his honeyberry bushes, and began picking them up. "Siniye zhimolosti," said a Russian accented voice. "Or, in English, blue honeysuckles. My mother used to grow them." "Let me guess, you like them?" George asked. "Oh yes, first fresh fruit of the year, a little tart, but you can't be too picky for first fresh fruit of the year," the voice said. "Tell me you were going to ask me for some," said George. "No, but I might have some, after I killed you," the voice said. George set the bowl down. "Mind leaving? I mean, everyone else that has come after me, they tend to fail, horribly." He then looked at the person, and found himself looking at a man who'd make Arnold Schwarzenegger jealous of his muscles. The man grinned. "I'm not like them." He pulled out a large knife. "I'm going to kill you and your friends." "Klapton send you?" George asked. "He did," the man said. "And he told me to kill all of you." "Nice to know," said George. "Oh, and thanks for the confession." "Confession?" George grinned, and pointed at a security camera. "I work on rare and endangered animals, and insurance requires me to have some of those things. Granted, the ones in the lobby don't record sound, but the others do." "And your friends are watching?" "Of course." "Then your death with be a warning to them." George grinned, as he pulled out his pruners, and opened them up. "Let's see you try." |
| Boris and George circled around each other. Boris was not one to make a foolish mistake. He was willing to wait for the perfect opening, but the wolf seemed amazingly alert and quick. Inside, Petunia turned away from the monitor. "I can't watch. That guy looks like the incredible Hulk and he is twice as big as George." "George can handle him," Jerry said, but he wasn't all that sure about it. |
| Butch, Jerry, Petunia, Reckless and Saul watched, George's battle with the Russian assassin. Butch says "Leave it to Klapton to send this brute to kill us." Reckless says "Can George handle him?" Jerry says "Oh yes, if it was a fair fight." Petunia says "I got a feeling that this fight will be anything but fair." Butch says "Knowing George, he always has a nasty surprise for his enemies, like Lilith. Just in case we better arm ourselves." |
| George looked at the knife that Boris was carrying, and looked at the pruners he was carrying. "Tell me; are you gentleman enough to let me go and get my combat knife, or at least a hunting knife? I mean, it would be unsporting of you to fight me while I have this thing, and it wouldn't be any fun for you." Boris grinned. "Nice try; you'd get a gun, or wait for the police to arrive." George chuckled. "You're right." At this, the wolf ran. Boris chuckled. "Smart." He also ran, but in the opposite direction, around the house. He soon came around one of the corners, and found George. Problem was, George was holding onto a shotgun. "Clever." The wolf grinned. "I keep Remmy here locked in a storage locker on my back porch, along with some shells." He pulled one out. "Remington 870 12 gauge, pump-action. Civilian model, 4 plus 1 shells. Oh, and these are deer slugs, meaning it's like getting hit with a large rifle bullet. Of course, I'd do everything I could to keep you alive, but I'm still not certified to work on people, meaning I don't have access to the drugs you'd actually need. I mean, I can patch you up, stitch the wound, keep you alive for the paramedics to get here, but I couldn't exactly use any drugs to dull the pain." He then placed the shell in his pocket, and pointed the shotgun at Boris. "Now, not to rip off Clint Eastwood, or Dirty Harry, but, you need to ask yourself one question; did I have enough time to load this thing with at least a single shot?" "Good question," said Boris. "And for all I know, you already had it loaded, for some other reason." "So, are you going to take a chance?" George asked. Boris chuckled. "I'm smart enough not to." He sheathed his knife, and started to walk away. George narrowed his eyes, and fired the shotgun. Boris screamed in pain as he fell to the ground. He then grabbed his leg. "You shot me! You shot me!" "I'll shoot you again," George said, calmly. "Move your hands away." "I'm bleeding here!" Boris exclaimed. "You blew my knee away!" "Teach you to go for the knife," said George. "I saw just enough of your arm move - you were going to spin around and throw the knife into my stomach or something, right?" "What are you going to do?" Boris asked. At this moment, the others came out, armed. "You have him covered?" George asked. "Yeah," said Butch. "Shoot him in the head if he tries anything," George said, leaning his shotgun up against the wall. He got out a first aid kit. "Petunia, let the Emergency Dispatch know to send an ambulance here." "You're going to help him?" Jerry asked. "We need him alive to tell us where his boss is," said George. |
| "Oh he'll tell you," Lilith said as she materialized in front of the man. "If he doesn't tell you here he'll tell father and father will inform me. However I think he's going to be quite cooperative aren't you?" She put on her scariest face, hiding it from George and the others. "Yes," the man said when he saw her. "I'll tell you anything. I'll even draw you a map. Just don't hurt me." "Lilith laughed. "You're going to die. You can't even imagine pain before you do. Father has a hot place waiting for you." |
| Jerry studied the map they had forced Boris to draw. "Interesting. We were totally wrong about the lair not being beneath a government building." "Which one is it?" Butch asked. "Something obscure like the Department of Agriculture?" "No, it's the police department." "What?! That's impossible." "Which is why he chose it, I guess. The question now is: Is the police department corrupt? Or do they simply not know the lair is there?" "How could they not know? Something is rotten here." Jerry rubbed his chin. "So maybe we better not ask permission to go into their sub-basements. That would just tip them off if they are really corrupt." "Either way they aren't going to let us down there. They have sensors everywhere." Reckless grinned. "Me and Saul might be able to help out there." "You can neutralize the sensors?" "Give us anhour to study the problem. Saul, you still have the passwords to get into every government computer?" |
| An hour later, Reckless says "Hmm, interesting. According to this. The police department doesn't have a sub-basement. That means Klapton's lair is in the sewer underneath the Police Department and they don't even know it." George says "How can he pull that off?" |
| Reckless said, "I meant how can he do it without the police knowing it?" Jerry snapped his fingers. "He's jamming the police sensors. We should send an anonymous tip to the cops that their sensors are being jammed and there is a mad scientist in the sewer underneath their headquarters doing the jamming." "You know," Petunia said, "if I got a tip like that I would think I was being pranked." "Hmmm, yeah, they might not believe it." "Or they might. Won't hurt to try, will it?" |
| At the police station, one of the police officers knocked on the Commissioner's door. "Commissioner. I got a tip that General Klapton is jamming our sensors and right now underneath us." The commissioner says "Take a squad and check it out." |
| "Say, what if Klapton was to try to run to the Russian Embassy or some such thing?" Butch asked. "I mean, all of that diplomacy could tie things up." "That's why you use the loophole of sending in another ambassador, who is more likely to listen to us," said George. "In this case, we'd send in Sammy." |
| Sergeant Gatlinburg was in the sewer with five other officers. He spoke into his comm. "Chief! There is definitely something funny going on down here. A steel door where no door should be. Tracks in the sludge. Someone has been coming and going down here." "What will it take to get through that door?" said Chief.Scowler. "More than we've got. It's thick steel like a safe. It will take either a blowtorch or explosives." "Come back then. We'll use one of our bomb squad robots to place an explosive charge down there." 'Chief, if you blow up the sewer underneath our building then our building might collapse." "That's you, Gatlinburg, always looking on the dark side. Don't worry. I'll make sure explosive experts handle this." |
| One of the officers says "Chief, I have a suggestion." The chief says "What kind of suggestion?" The officer says "During my high school days, I was in a science fair and came up with a project that earned me 1st. Place. Instead of explosives, we'll use a blowtorch with Thermite composition. Twice as powerful as a regular blowtorch. I guarantee it will cut through that door like a hot knife through butter. Without risking collapsing the building." |
| "Make sure the explosive expert is there, nearby, to cover you, just in case," said Chief Scowler. "And make sure that there's at least a dozen SWAT officers there, again, just in case. Last thing I need is to find out that some terrorist cell killed any of my officers because I didn't send the right kind of backup." "I'm surprised you haven't called the National Guard," said Gatlinburg. "I mean, these are renegade military types." "I'm sure some special forces operatives are being sent," said Chief Scowler. Meanwhile, an ambulance had arrived at the veterinary office, to pick Boris up. The paramedic looked at the report George had given him. "Shot in the knee with a high-powered rifle, tourniquet applied, along with disinfectant, plus some Tylenol. Very basic stuff here." "Can't legally operate on people," said George. "Trying to get certified though." "YA dumal, ty skazal, chto ya umru!" Boris said with a growl to Lilith. The wolf-like demon grinned. "YA vral." She then looked him in the eyes. "Cherez 37 let. Rak prostaty." The man's eyes widened, as he was taken away. "Strelyay menya! Pozhaluysta!" he yelled out, as the doors closed. Lilith chuckled. "He wishes." "And what was that about?" George asked. "Oh, he's going to die of cancer in 37 years," said Lilith. "Prostate. He'd rather die from a shooting apparently." George chuckled. "Cancer of the prostate - a rather fitting death for the likes of him." "Say, those other guys," said Jerry. "What did your father do to them?" "Screwed with their minds," said Lilith. "Just like I did with that tank." "But we saw-" "The deception works best when witnesses are also affected," said Lilith. "That being said, the police will be picking up some people who are obviously high, or drunk, on something." |
| "Only your father would think of such things," George said. "It's what I do best," came Lucifer's voice. "After all I am the deceiver." "And I always thought that was just folklore," Jerry said. "Maybe we better get to the police station,," Lilith said. It seems Klapton has placed an almost impenetrable steel door down there. I'll transport your team there andd then rip the door to ribbons." "I love seeing you inn action," George says. "It makes me want to howl." |
| They got there at the same time as the blowtorch team. "Trust me," George said. "She's better than any blowtorch." "Aw, come on," said a cop. "I know some women have strong fingernails, but that's ridiculous." As a demonstration, Lilith drew a line with her finger in the concrete at their feet. It left a groove three inches deep. The cop's jaw dropped. "OK, I don't know what's happening here. Am I in the Twilight Zone?" |
| Lilith made a cross draw on the steel door. The door has a big scratch in form of a big X on the entire door. "Butch? Can you do the honors?" She said. Butch rushes the door and with a swift kick, and the door collapses, Sergeant Gatlinburg says "Impressive, Okay squad move in!" |
| "Piece of advice," George said, as he looked at Gatlinburg. "Don't make her angry." |
| After a quick search of the lair, one of the cops said, "No one here, sir!" "Damn!" Jerry said. "He escaped somehow." "Probably more than one way in and out," said Gatlinburg. "We'll keep searching. And while we're at it we'll destroy all his equipment. He's got enough electronic gadgetry in here to launch a space missile." "Let's be glad that wasn't one of his dreams." "At least he won't be able to pull that holographic projection trick of his on us anymore. The next time we see him we'll know it's really him." |
| "That's good," said George. "Maybe he'll be dumb enough to come after us himself next time." "So, what would you recommend?"Jerry asked. "I'd suggest we go back to my place," said George. "There's some wine I'd like to taste-test." "Is that all you think about?" Butch asked. George grinned. "No, but if Klapton is dumb enough to attack us at my place, we'd have home-field advantage, because we know my place, and he doesn't. Besides, my neighbors are far enough away that it's unlikely they'd be in any real danger." "And you still have some berries to pick," said Lilith. "There is that," said George. "Of course, that's just my idea. Anyone got a better one?" |
| Butch is on a flight back from Africa when he heard to passengers discuss rumors about a new monster on the attack. "What kind of world do we live in where Kaiju monsters attack cities?" "You see too many of those Godzilla movies." "I'm serious, they exist. There's one attacking San Francisco, looks like an ape but more reptilian due to it's scalely body." |
George was looking at his computer. "What are you doing?" Jerry asked. "Checking on something," said George. "Mainly I'm cross-referencing the times the portal has opened up in Monster World, and closed, according to them, and comparing the various legends and mythologies for unknown creatures, whom our friends seem to be the basis for." "And, what have you found?" Jerry asked. "Twenty years of activity, followed by fifty years of no, or minimal activity," said George. "Minimal activity?" Jerry asked. "As in a straggler that got trapped here," said George. "Fifty years is nothing to them, although for us, well, hopefully Tabitha will be able to see Sammy again, or at least their kids will see each other again, and maybe their great grandkids will be able to play together." |
| "I forgot about Sammy and Tabitha," Jerry said. "Yeah, the portal closing would be rough on them, but like you say, they live so long they can wait until it opens again. Meanwhile, General Jutjaw has revised his opinion that there are no bad monsters left to mash. There is a reptilian ape attacking San Francisco right now." "Then why are we sitting here talking about it? Four hours later the Monster Mashers were stepping off a military jet at San Francisco International Airport., 13 miles from downtown San Francisco. You could almost taste the fear in the air as people scrambled to leave the city. |
| As Butch was getting the arsenal ready, Jerry asked "How was Africa?" Butch answered, "It was great, exploring the Savanah really eased my stress. I feel positive that we can complete this mission." |
| "Savor it while you can," said George. "It will probably be our last." "Are you serious?" Butch asked. "George says it won't be for another fifty years until the portal opens up again," said Jerry. "And here I was liking Sammy's involvement with our team," said Butch. "We won't be able to see him again?" "Let's hope that the Monster Mashers after us are smart enough to work with him and his kin," said George. "That being said, I hope that Tabitha's grandchildren are on that future team." "You know, we could always open up a portal ourselves," said Butch. "Let's not go down that road again," said George. "We had trouble the last time. Better to let it open up naturally." |
| "I don't know George," said Butch. "It seems to me that opening a controlled portal so we can see Sammy and Tabitha makes perfect sense. We would know where the portal was and could monitor what was about to enter it. We've monitored portals before you know." "I know," George replied. "We could possibly do something like that. We're all going to miss Tabitha and Sammy. I just want to be sure we know what's coming through the portal." During the meantime they got into an armored personnel carrier and made their way downtown to where the national guard was fighting a reptilian ape who was currently trashing a skyscraper office building. Fortunately it had been evacuated so there were no casualties. "Team Mango reporting sir," George told the commanding officer. "I'm Colonel George. I'll be assuming command here. I know General Jutjaw already briefed you so I won't rehash all of that. I will take command now." George saluted the relieved Colonel who saluted him in return stating "I stand relieved. Thank you Colonel and happy hunting Team Mango." |
| George rubbed his hands together and grinned at the rest of the team. "It's showtime!" "Any ideas?" Petunia said. "It's armored, Jerry said, "so that eliminates bullets, rockets, and explosives from our arsenal." "But it doesn't eliminate steel cables and trickery," said Butch. "I say we trip him and make him fall over. That fall for something so big might do some internal damage and then while he's still struggling to get back up, two of us jump on his head and smash out his eyes. There is no armor on his eyes." "Why can't we just shoot out his eyes?" Jerry said. "His reflexes are too good," George said. "There's a shield that drops down like an eyelid, only it's very much faster than any eyelid ever was. Radar tells him when anything is headed toward his eyes and when it will get there." "But he'll drop his eyelids when we are on his head." "I don't think so. We'll just be standing there. He can't keep his eyes closed forever if there is no incoming threat." |
| "Then again, we just might force his eyeballs open, and shove a really big spear in them," said George. "Didn't they do something like that to the Cyclopes in The Odyssey?" Jerry asked. "Nothing wrong with borrowing from Greek Mythology," said George. |
| Butch's cable idea was put into action. Sure enough, when the monster mechanized ape came lumbering around a corner it tripped over the cable and fell heavily to the pavement with a loud crash. Jerry and Butch and George jumped on it's head. Petunia remained behind to monitor events. She called them: Everything OK? "Yes," Jerry answered. "We're on board and Butch is going for the eyes now. After we blind him we're going to enter the skull through his nostrils." Won't his breathing blow you out of his nose? "I hope not. " |
| As the team entered through the nose, the noticed circuitry that's familiar to them "I recognize these circuit boards," Butch says, "These are the same circuit boards Crow uses." Jerry says, "Could Crow or his son built this Mechanized Kong?" |
| "It would be very fitting," said George. "End our mission by catching the very nuts that started this whole mess." Jerry nodded. "Something symbolic about that." "I couldn't agree more," said Butch. |
| Author's note: I've had a death in my family. My brother was killed at work the other day. I'll do my best to keep up. "I believe the operator of this mechanized beast would be either in the skull behind the eyes or else operating it by remote. Let's go to the brain." "I agree George," said Lilith. |
| (Sorry for your loss, Chris. No need to be burdened by the campfire right now. I'll temporarily remove you from it and you can email me after the funeral.) Meanwhile, the giant robot ape began it's struggle to stand back on its feet again. This involved much whirring of motors and a lot tilting this way and then that. The Monster Mashers found themselves tumbling around and grabbing hold of whatever they could to keep from getting hurt. "Hang on, Boys! We're in for a ride!" Jerry said. |
| Once the giant ape was back on its feet, things inside settled down and they could walk easily again. "This passage way should lead somewhere interesting," George said. "It's got the optic nerve bundles and a bunch of sensory cables in it. Should go straight to the control center of this monster." "I can hardly wait to see who is sitting in that chair," Jerry said. "Yeah, well he might be observing us on monitors right now and planning a nasty surprise." |
| Out of nowhere, they are met with laser fire, everyone ducked. Butch stated "Now that was a nasty surprise." |
| "That it was," said George. "Keep your heads down now; can't fill in those holes." |
| "It could have been automatic," Jerry said. "Maybe we triggered sensors that set off the lasers." "Could be," Butch said, "or maybe somebody deliberately punched a button." "There's only one way to find out," George said. "Get into that control room. That hatch up ahead is probably the entrance. Butch, what do you have with you in the way of explosives, preferably something that won't give the three of us a concussion in this enclosed space?" |
| Butch takes out a small cube which looks like it's brown sugar, "How about this little baby? Not enough to blow us up but enough to open that hatch. Place 4, one on each corner and a push of a button, we're in." |
| "I'll do it," Jerry said. "I'm the smallest." Crawling on his belly, Jerry reached the hatch and quickly slapped the cubes on four corners. They were self-adhesive. He slithered back to the Mashers' hiding place in the skull of the ape monster. "OK, set and ready." |
| As butch pushed the button, the cubes blew up, surprisingly no explosion is heard but the hatch fell open, "Impressive Butch, muffled explosives." Butch says "Don't want to alert whoever is in there. Great for stealth missions." As they entered the control room, the found that the room was empty and loud clang was heard from their entry way, Butch turned around an saw the hatch is sealed shut. A voice was heard "It seems that I have visitors, sorry to disappoint but this robot is controlled remotely at a outside location outside the city I was about to tear apart the city but now you resoted to other means. A panel falls from the wall revealing a digital clock set for 7 minutes and it starts to counting down. The voice says "A de-atomizer explosive. In seven minutes, San Francisco will be a smoking crater and Team Mango will be no more. So long fools, forever!" the voice lets out a menacing laugh. |
| "Someone is being dramatic," said George. "Seriously though, seven minutes is more than enough time to disarm most bombs." "I agree," said Butch. "Unless it's a tamper-proof bomb." "Then check on it," said Jerry. "I just hate these crazy-prepared types." |
| George looked at Butch. "Well? Better get moving to disarm it." Butch made a face. "I specialized in arming bombs, not disarming them." "Be that as it may, you know ten times as much about it as me or Jerry." Butch rubbed his hands together. "OK. Wish me luck." Jerry rolled his eyes. "No, we hope you fail." "That's good," Butch said. "Sarcastic humor as you stare your possible death in the face." |
| As Butch open the bomb casing, "Oh boy, this is no ordinary bomb, what did he say a de-atomizer or a mini-nuke, that means if I cut the wrong wire, we all will be vaporized." From the countdown timer there are 5 color wires. Red, Green, Blue, White and Black. |
| "In that case, let's find the plug and yank that," said George. "Might be easier." |
| "No way!" George said. "This thing is like those emergency lights that come on when the power goes out. It has battery back-up. And not only that, any good bomb builder is going to have safeguards that will set the bomb off if it's tampered with." "Then how the hell are we going to disarm it?" George said. "Very carefully... Jerry, what's your favorite color? Red, green, blue, white, or black?" "You're scaring me," Jerry said. George pounded his fist against the wall. "Butch! You've already wasted a minute with chit chat. Disarm the damn thing!" |
| Butch looks at the bomb carefully, "Ahh, now I see how to defuse it." As the bomb counted down from one minute, Butch cuts the following wires, Red, Black, Green, Blue then White causing the digital clock to stop at 5 seconds left and the display went black. The team lets out a sigh with relief. Then the voice went back on "What? No boom? There was supposed to be a mushroom cloud over the city by now." George says "Sorry to disappoint you, but we have the best bomb expert on the team, not only can he set them, but defuse them too." Jerry says "I got a feeling that he's on his way here to kill us once we set foot outside this robot." Petunia says "How do we get out of here?" Butch holds up a small vial labeled H2SO4. "No problem, I have a key right here." |
| "Good," said George, as he removed a short-barreled shotgun from his bag. "This should give us a leg-up in a conversation." |
| "Wait a minute," Jerry said. "Maybe we can control this thing ourselves and just stomp out of town?" "No, you heard him say it's remotely controlled." "Then we better get out quick," Jerry said, "before he walks us into the river." |
| Butch poured the contents on the vial on the sealed hatch and the liquid eats through the thick metal, waiting for a minute and Butch says "Quickly, let's get out of this robot." |
| Jerry said, "Butch, you better blow off this ape's foot. Otherwise he'll be able to keep rampaging." "No problem," Butch said. "Let me see what I have left in my pack." "Okay, going down now." Using a length of rope they had with them, they descended from the head of the ape to the ground by the mountain climber style called rappelling. |
| As the reached the bottom, Butch took out some granades and then put it on the heel and toes of the ape, tied some stings on the pin and as they ran to a safe distance he pulled the stings tied to the pins. |
| "It would help if we knew who it was," Jerry said. George looked at him. "You don't think it's Crow or his son?" "According to Lilith, Farley Crow is in Hell." "But what about Farley Crow, Jr.?" "Okay," Jerry said. "I'll admit it's not impossible that it's him, but where is he? We don't know that either." |
| "Got an idea," said George. "Although I think we're going to hate it." "Open the Portal and have Sammy help?" Jerry asked. "Yep," said George. "You remember what happened the last time?" Butch asked. "Might be able to reconfigure it to work like a door, especially if we made a device that channeled the energy to a certain location," said George. "Be useful for other reasons to." |
| "I don't like it," Jerry said. "I get bad feelings thinking about the portal. We're like children playing with matches. I didn't mean to burn the house down, daddy." "I think I agree," Butch said. "Portal equals bad stuff." "You guys are too cautious," George said. Petunia walked up and showed them her tablet screen. "Ahem," she said. Jerry looked. "Farley Crow Jr.'s address and phone number?" "Ever heard of the phone book, boys?" "It can't be for real," Jerry said. "I called the number and got an answering machine. It said you have reached the residence of Farley Crow, Jr. Please leave a number where he can return your call. Or something similar to that." "Maybe he's not home," Butch said. "Let's get over there right now and see what's what." "Even better if he is home," George said. "Is anybody going to thank me?" Petunia said, but the boys had already left the building. |
| As they made it to Crow's estate, they found that the place is up for sale an they recognize Crow's butler, "If your here for Farley Crow Jr," the butler said, "I'm afraid he has been missing for months." George says, "What's going on here?" "Due to tax issues, the Crow assets has been frozen by the bank and everything has been re-possessed. Now I must sell the estate." Butch says "So that's not Farley Jr's robot that attacked San Francisco?" the butler says "As far as I know, he doesn't own a robot of any kind, even if it's giant reptilian ape. I do watch a little TV, especially the news." |
| "Always something up with that stuff," said George. "Well, let's see what else we can find." |
| "It still could be Farley Jr.," Jerry said. "What does a butler know? Anyway, he said Crow had been gone for months so maybe he was in San Francisco, eh?" "Maybe," George said. |
| Just then General Jutjaw called in, "We just analyzed that Giant robot you all managed to disable, good work men. I'm afraid that's not all the reason why I called. We found some disturbing evidence about it from an enemy we thought was dead, do you recall your first mission?" George says "Remember it, it's hard to forget. Hoover dam a giant robotic beaver we managed to disable it before it destroyed the dam and it was created by,,," George, Jerry and Butch all say "LOUIE KLONDIKE!" Petunia asks "Louie Klondike? Who's Louie Klondike?" |
| "And I'm a dumb broad who wouldn't be able to follow the story?" Petunia said, tapping her foot. "I'll try to explain it," Jerry said. "In 1896 in the Yukon country of Canada, gold was discovered by Skookum Jim and George McCormick on the Klondike River. Skookum Jim was a native of the region and when his wife had a baby, they named it Lawrence. "Lawrence was sent south to the USA to live with a family in Idaho. The reasons why are murky but some speculate the child was not fathered by Skookum Jim and it was a way to get rid of it short of leaving it in the snow for the bears to find. "Since the child had no last name, the folks who cared for him called him Lawrence Klondike. Lawrence made his way in the world and during the boom years of the 1920's became quite wealthy, but still a bachelor until he married in 1929 at the age of 32. A few months later his wife became pregnant and a month after that the stock market crashed. Lawrence lost all his money and committed suicide. "The child was born, a boy, and named Louie Klondike. When he was 8 years old, his mother died from pneumonia. There followed a period of years where Louie, now an orphan, bounced from foster home to foster home, but not being defeated. Instead he became tougher and wiser and developed an interest in the new marvels of the age, the airplane and the radio. He was 12 years old when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and 16 years old when the war ended. "Despite all his difficulties and the upheavals in the world, Louie managed to pick up some knowledge about mechanical engineering and electronic engineering. He was an avid reader of sci-fi pulp magazines and his dream was to build a robot, preferably a big one." |
| Butch continues, "Somehow, he went crazy. Not only was his robots animal-like, but they are remotely controlled. When MonCon first started, George, Jerry, Tina Tigress and I first started as Team Mango and our first mission was to stop a robot from destroying Hoover Dam. I wonder what ever happened to Tina?" |
| "She got married I think," said George. "To Peter Puma if I remember correctly." "I remember him," said Butch. "Demolitions engineer, right?" "Sounds about right," said George. "Now-" Suddenly, a portal opened next to them. "I thought that those were supposed to be done!" said Jerry. "So did I," said George. Then a figure appeared, actually, two of them. "Sammy? Tabitha?" George asked. "Hi dad," said Tabitha. "I thought that the portals were closed for good!" George exclaimed. "Our scientists figured out how to open them at will, and with no environmental damage," said Sammy. "Me and Tabitha decided to test them ourselves." "And, how did you end up right here?" Butch asked. "I mean, it wouldn't have surprised me if you popped up at the Clinic, but this isn't the Clinic." Sammy held up a device. "Tracking beacon. George has one on his watch." "Nice to know," said George. "Why are you here?" "To let you know that we can visit each other without having to wait fifty years," said Sammy. "Also, we've been listening into your radio conversations; want any help?" |
| "Sure," George said. "We like to have help." "Amen to that," said Jerry. "What do you think of our Louie Klondike theory?" "Sounds interesting," Sammy said, "but we haven't tried to check anything like that. We can only hear your radio conversations when you talk to George and we can track George's location. What happened to Louie Klondike after Team Mango stopped his Giant Beaver robot from destroying Hoover Dam?" |
| Butch says "After we stopped his robots. he tried to shoot us. He didn't see where he was going and fell of the Dam into the Colorado river and drowned, and so we thought." |
| "Guess he didn't drown, or someone is following in his footsteps," said Sammy. |
| "Yeah," Jerry said, "but which is it? I can't think of anyone who would follow in his footsteps. As far as we know, he was a loner and his only friend was his Dad." "Was his body ever found?" "No," Jerry said. "It's him, isn't it? Farley Crow, Jr. Somehow he must have survived and built another giant robot." |
| Butch says "Can we discuss this back at the base? We can't talk out in the open and besides, there's no telling if either Crow Jr. or Klondike will attack us here." As they made it back to George's Clinic, they found a small package without a return address labeled 'Team Mango' at the front door. As Petunia is about to pick it up, George says "Careful, it could be booby trapped." |
| "Yeah, so let's walk back to the vehicle, and have Sammy pick it up, and take it to the old Testing room, and see what's inside of it," said Butch. "Fond memories in that room," said Sammy. "Liquid Nitrogen and Napalm, among other things." "Yeah, well, in this case, it's just in case there's a bomb in that package," said George. |
| "How about your xray machine?" Jerry said. "Good idea," George said. "Sammy, put the package in the xray machine and listen carefully while I tell you how to turn it on." |
| As they turn on the machine as instructed and put the package in the machine, but much of their relief, No bomb was inside only what it looks like a disk and a slip of paper. |
| "So, what does the note say?" George asked. "The note says 'Play me'," said Sammy. |
| "Is it a computer disk or a DVD or a CD?" Jerry asked. "I don't know," Sammy said. "How do you tell them apart?" "Just put it in the computer," George said. "The computer will know what kind of disk it is." |
| As George loaded the disk, the media program loaded and played the video on the disk. It showed a slightly older Louie Klondike and he says "bonjour vieil ami, oui I'm still alive, when I fell off the dam I ended up diving to a deep end of the Colorado River and I bided my time until I get my revenge on you and your team. You might've disabled my new robot but but my grudge, remember these two?" The camera turns to and shows Tina Tigress and Peter Puma tied to a chair. "And old teammate and mate no? If you want to see them alive you have to find me, I left a riddle on a separate program on this disk that reveals my whereabouts if solved." |
| "You got it," Jerry said. "Now I'm curious. What is the riddle?" "Let me look at the disc contents... Hmmm, this might be it. OK, everybody pay attention. If what Louie Klondike said is true, then he has conveniently left us a clue to finding him." "Providing we can solve the riddle," Jerry said. |
| As George called up a program and it contained a text, "Start at a mountain that's presidential, drive south for 25 miles then 15 miles eastbound then up until you're blue." |
| "Not so fast there," Jerry said. "Rushmore was a businessman, but I agree that is a presidential mountain. However, turns out there are a dozen mountains named after presidents: Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Jackson, Taylor, Grant, Arthur, Washington, Lincoln, McKinley, and Pierce. Any of those mountains could also be considered presidential." George groaned. "We'll have to check the map on each one, then, and see if we can figure out what that blue refers to." |
| Butch says "I believe it means he's on the mountain so high, that the air on top of it is too thin to breathe. That's my guess." |
| "Isn't Denali, formally known as Mount McKinley, the highest mountain in the US?" Tabitha asked. |
| "It is," Jerry said. "I just Googled the map. It's 20,000 feet high. Looks like transportation in the area is by canoe. I haven't been in a canoe since I was in summer camp as a kid." "They have summer camps for Geckos?" "Sure. Why not?" ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| As they made it to Denali, they found an old friend waiting, it's Kali. Jerry says "Kali, I thought you moved to Samoa.." Kira says "I did, thought you might use a little extra muscle on this. Jutjaw filled me in on the mission, and besides, I bought some special mountain climbing equipment, especially warm clothing and a light breathing aspirates for higher altitudes." She points to a pile of backpacks in her canoe. |
| "Good to see you again," said George. "I'm sure you remember Sammy and Tabitha." Kira looked at the pair. "I remember them." |
| Jerry pointed at the three canoes. "Any reason we can't get started right away?" "Fine with me, " Kira said. "I packed enough food for three days." "Will that be enough time?" "If it's not, we'll catch some fish or shoot something. Don't worry, you can't starve in this country." |
| "Yeah, and some of the local berry bushes should be getting ripe," said George. "Might get some for my garden." |
| Jerry had his smart phone out. "Here's the next clue," he said. "You can chase me but can you find me?" "Wasn't there something named Chase on the map?" George said. "Yeah, but there doesn't seem to be anything there. I zoomed in on the map and saw nothing." "I've got a feeling that's the place," Tabitha said. Jerry shrugged. "Well, maybe it's a native settlement or something. Let's check it out." |
| (Steev, start planning for MM3. Getting near 500 Additions - twice that of the first.) "Or even the name on a Memorium marker," said George. "Why do you say that?" Jerry asked. "People die while hiking, and it's not unusual for others to leave a marker for them, even if the body isn't actually buried there," said George. "You see them along the roadside all the time, from some accident." |
| (Um, this chapter is called "The Last Monster" for a reason. Will email everybody a new campfire idea shortly.) "That's true," Jerry said. "I've seen those. That's going to be disappointing if there is nothing there but a death marker." "Maybe. What if something is buried there? And I don't mean a body." "Good point. OK, let's go there." |
| Butch says "Hmm, could it reference it to Arthur Chase?" Kira says, "I remember him, wasn't he some kind of show off on that reality show 'Arthur dares'?" George says "Yes, up until he died on a mountain climbing stunt on.,,Mount McKinley before the name was changed." |
| "Let's take a look," said George. "That being said, we'd better find this guy soon - as much as I enjoy Nature Hiking, I hate wild goose chases." |
| "Same here," Jerry said. Kira said, "Guys! Leave your big city impatience behind. You are in the great outdoors now. Let what will be be. Everything in its time." Jerry rolled his eyes. "Uh oh, New Age philosophy. Kira, we don't have time to let what will be be. We have to hurry it along." Kira sighed. "It is why I would rather be here than in the city. I do not like all that hurrying." "Don't let that slow down your paddling speed." |
| Soon everyone was climbed high on the mountain and they spotted an abandoned campsite with the sign: In memorandum of Arthur Chase. They heard Klondike's voice "Bienvenue Team Mango, and I see you bought friends. You have solved my riddle and here's another, I am the kind of home bats and bears live in. Solve it and you'll find me." |
| "It's a cave," said George. "Easiest riddle ever. We have tranquilizers, right?" "Why do you want to know?" Kira asked. "We'll be going up against bears, but it's not hunting season," said George. |
| "You will put them to sleep?" Kira said. "That is not nice, George. Suppose something happens to them while they are sleeping?" "It's not exactly sleep," George said. "It's more like feeling so calm you don't want to hassle anybody. It will remove their desire to attack us." "I just don't like meddling with Mother Nature." "I guess the cave must be near by," Jerry said. "Why don't we each pick a direction to search." After a while they heard Butch yell at the top of his lungs, "I found a cave!" |
| They entered the cave. At first it looked like an ordinary cave, but as they went deeper in, it became obvious that someone lived there, or once lived there. There was a chair and a table and a bed and shelves and a little kitchen and cans of food. Jerry went into the next room and called out. "Um, guys? I think I found Farley Crow Jr." George and Butch and Kira joined him. At a desk sitting in a chair slumped over with his head on the desk was a man, or the body of a man. he was obviously dead. Jerry pulled a sheet of paper out from under him... I feel confident you solved my riddle and found me. Why am I dead, you ask? Not long ago I realized I was evil. I never really knew it before. My father raised me to be evil and he was evil so it was just something I didn't even think about, but now I know. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about the people who died because of me. I cannot bring them back to life. But I can give their families some money and I can pay for the destruction my giant robot caused. Use the money from the sale of my book to pay for these things. I am confident if it is wisely marketed you can make millions with it. Again, I am sorry, and now I say good-bye. Jerry put down the paper. "Poor fool killed himself. Well, he would have spent the rest of his life in prison, so..." Butch said, "What's this book he is talking about." George picked up a stack of paper. "I think this is it." He read the top sheet: "Why I Did It by Farley Crow Jr. I think he's right. If marketed properly it will make millions." "I know I want a copy," Jerry said. "The saga of the Crows, father and son, is one I will never forget." * * * |
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