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 |  A running blog on a real newbies adventures with the WDC website |
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I became a newbie writer just starting to learn the tools of the trade. Silly me thinking, I could just jump right in, and start swimming, with what I remember of my six grade English. After all what use did a professional computer repair person need of grammar, to fill in blanks, dot “I’s”, or cross his “T’s” with. I was forced into early retirement. Because of Agent Orange encounters from Vietnam, and a bad hernia repair. You cannot learn anything being a mugwump. What is a mugwump you say? It is a person sitting on a fence; with their mug on one side of the fence, and their wump on the other side. One day I received this interesting email from the Newbie Academy Group. They recommend I engage in contest activities. I thought to myself why not! I went to the contest list and found the writer’s cramp contest. At the prompt: here's a new restaurant in town with an interesting theme. What's the theme, how is it expressed, and how's the food? I read this and get all excited. I started thinking of all the Chief Gordon Ramsey shows I had watch with my wife. Out of nowhere pops a memory of a silly menu I had in my funny joke collection. It was a road kill menu for Uncle Roberts fine cuisine dinning. I decided to use my hillbilly name. I and my wife had a moment in our newly married life, when we were teasing a neighbor friend. We started calling our redneck friend Deny-Bob. He called us JoVonna-Bob and Brett-Bob. I decided to call my contest entry “Brett-Bob’s Road Kill Express” to me the whole idea was a joke and after all what a great thing to write about. To me the trick was to keep it rated ‘E’ as this was a requirement of the contest. I had in my mind decided to keep it as a fake road kill diner they would serve real food as fake road kill using the out of season as the excuse to use their specialty dishes for them. When I wrote it as with all my writing I am becoming world famous for run-ons and miss spelling. Part of the problem is MSoffice I blame its terrible spell checker, and the horrible grammar checker, since it cannot even do second grade error correction. Like I told one of the Newbie Academy Ladies I’m a senior citizen writing as a first grader. And even a first grader has trouble reading my work let alone the poor teacher. Beside whom else can I blame? None of us want to point that finger at ourselves. We might get ashamed and do something about it. One of the funnier parts to my story is I didn’t read it had a thousand word limit. I just assumed that they wanted whatever you could produce in a short time. Just like Nanowrimo. It had a twenty four hour dead line. I figured you didn’t need to worry, if it was a rough draft, or a finished work. This was probably my misreading of the contest rules. I’m betting the judge expects to judge finished works by more experienced authors other than newbies. Basically I’m trying to say, I set myself up for failure. But the best part of the story, and funniest is the judge’s comment: “You met that goal with an interesting piece. However, since I'm a vegetarian, it was unhappily a bit unappetizing in both humor and description. Sigh.” I know I thrive on rejection. But my very first contest. When I am trying to fit in, and receive that comment. It was about the funniest thing to happen to me. Being a new writer I understand not everything I write is golden or is going to make me incredibly rich either. I did install the sense of shame. I went visiting my email and asked the kind judge for help with run-ons. She took pity on me and provided a link to myenglishteacher.net. She also recommended a class from WDC’s own recommended school. She also recommended asking for help in my groups forums. The truth is I really don’t see even the kindest writer here, having the time to teach me sixth grade again. Then I realized I don’t need the whole lessen. I just need to learn to recognize what I do in my writing, and fix that issue. As I write I can auto correct instead or totally relearning English. So I went to some of the forums in the Newbie Academy Group. Since I have no life anymore I sometimes expect the same of everyone else. But the sad truth is it’s the week end, and all the nice people are out being nice people. I am going to have to wait until Monday to get my help. My contest entry received eight reviews; of the eight, two actually showed me areas to improve it, and of course one judge’s review. I think the poor lady felt sorry for me and I got the newbie prize of 250 gp with the review or it won third place. I in my vanity like the third place idea; the truth is I’m just guessing. I hope I haven’t offended any one with this story. It is another attempt at a funny story. I don’t have any hard feelings with the judge she was honest, truthful, and even extremely helpful. Some points of interest; only one person didn’t find it funny, the judge. Only the judge and one retired teacher gave me a link. They both gave me really helpful reviews with writing style help. I am still holding on to three reviews of the eight. I still get a laugh every time I read the third email. I just love her closing line: This story is fun, and I still have a silly smirk on my face. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I'm building at "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise"  Great place to read.I'm docked at "Blog Harbor from The Talent Pond"
, a safe port for bloggers to connect. |
 Welcome to My Reality1. What are your favourite type of blog prompts to write from? A=The ones that my muse finds interesting. Since I am creative my muse likes to put a twist on things. So I never form day to day what triggers it. Sometimes it just wants to write about anything else but the prompt. I do like the off topic ability as well with prompts because who knows what your muse is in the mood for. I have seen where the prompt inspires the muse to write something not even close to the original prompt is why I like the ability to do a non prompt post. 2. What are your favourite type of blog posts to read? A=Well, um, ah, 'cough' women’s lives 'cough'. Being a male writer, it helps to see what female opinions are on different things, because it helps in character building. And as a male, we are voyeurs about anything female. 3. What topics do you like to explore in your blog posts? A=Me, I have some old fashion viewpoints, some religious ones, and some off the wall, way out, weird ideas on some things. That is what makes me, me. 4. Suggest blog prompts that we can use in "Welcome To My Reality" A=Well you asked for it: 1 What is some of your favorite parts to the movies that you like and will like to watch over and over? 2. If we break the answer to question 1 down what does it tell us that the writer of the movie did to make it so memorable to us? 3. Can we write something that memorable that people will love to reread it over and over? 4. My wife tells me that I fart, there for I am. This is my only excuse for being alive? 5. Is she right that all males are full of gas? 6. Am I right in exercising my ability to clear the room with a single blast of air? 7. Is there more to life then the release of gas pressure? 8. Males find more humor in gas attacks then the females do. Why is there such a difference in reactions to a normal body function that men find funny and women find offensive? 5. What types of prompts inspire you to write your best blog posts? A=? The ones that hit a nerve of something that happened in the past in my life as I grew up to be the “man” I am. Or It enables me to spout off my opinion without a lot of feedback. I hope I have not offended anyone. I answered the questions honestly. Sometimes honesty is very offensive and a lot of people get offended easily. This is also a problem with using interesting prompts is who in your audience will be offended by the honesty. Some subjects and prompts have to stay generic so you get generic answers because we really don’t want to deal with the truth. |
 BLOG CITYPrompt: From a book description: “In the belief of the Gond tribe [in India], the lives of humans and trees are closely entwined. Trees contain the cosmos; when night falls, the spirits they nurture glimmer into life.” Have you ever watched the trees at night, and can you imagine if they have a night life and which secrets they are hiding? Hummm. Well if it is a human village. What I imagine is all the people using the dark of night and the cover of the trees to hide their love making. The first timers and the last timers after all who wants to waste a beautiful night under the stars hidden by the trees? Oh what sights the spirits could tell you about. Me, I don't want to know after all it was meant to be a secret. I'm not perverse enough to want to know about it. I'll bet the spirits are smart enough to keep those things a secret anyway. I learned once you start getting up in age there things best kept covered. After all no one really wants to see it either. Back to the spirits. What colors would the glow at night the colors of the cosmos? Having never seen a cosmos I really wouldn't know. To me space is black with spots of light that glow in it called stars. This makes more sense to me to see them glow like the stars above and maybe move around and form patterns and shapes to blow our minds with. That would be more interesting to watch a light show then some remote blinking light that could be explained as a twinkling star. |
| BLOG CITY Prompt:Write about the "Worst Visitor" who ever darkened your door. The day this DCFS can took my children away. My one child likes to run off one day he took off when one of the older children left the front door open. It didn't matter that I couldn't chase him and sent an older child to go catch him. According to the Judge it was because I allowed him to escape. That was the day I learned how to hate this states child care laws and it forced me to learn them to fight back because the judges and lawyers have a thing going to get the state as much money as they can from any father. Needless to say I went after that DCFS lady and her boss because this shouldn't have ever been a issue I had a child get him and bring him back in less than five minutes. Now lets discuss ages the runner was a four year old. The catcher was a ten year old the same one that left the door open. Now the reason I went after them was what does this do to a family and the children who once thought they were safe and happy. It didn't matter that me and my lawyer brought quite a civil case to the same judge and pointed out all the damage done all the cost to the state and to the children. This was not done in their best interest and all it was is a quota fill. Yes a quota fill. She made quota after taking my children. Course she wasn't a very good person either because it was easy to get her co=workers to rat her out. When I showed this lawyer my case and what I intended to do to the state for this offense. His eyes saw dollar signs and he excepted this case and came up with even more dirt. This case never went further then the judge. He released my children to me told DCFS they will pay all expenses and they will provide thearpy for everyone for two years and dismissed the case. The lawyer and DCFS and the Judge all went to his chambers and had a long meeting none of which I was party to. After a few weeks went by In the news there was headlines about DCFS abuses and how the state was cracking down on them and regulating it so the abuses can never happen again. I just know since I had no case I couldn't counter file so my beef went away. But what ever that lawyer had caused a lot of stink and the loss of quite a few jobs. Even today DCFS plays a quiet role in the public eye. They only remove children if your a child abuser, molester, or drug abuse. Even then you have three tries to get it right before they remove the children permanently. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The Run-on King PDG Member ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| BLOG CITY Prompt: St. Andreas Fault, Jurassic World, an American Heroes movie and a Mad Max movie. Which one of these movies coming out this summer do you want to see? I'm going to try and see them all mostly they are in my genre sci-fi, action/adventure and fantasy. Gotta love the movie makers. They don't flood us with all one genre all the time. They mix it up and keep them coming so their movies is always something some one wants to see no matter what your tastes are. |
| BLOG CITY Prompt:What is the most difficult task for you in living your life--day to day, or if you wish, in general? Day to Day: The most difficult thing in my life is moving to get out of my lift chair. Mostly I wait until hydrolic pressure builds in my body, and I am forced to move out of the chair and go potty. Then once I start moving I can then get online and join WDC, check my e-mail and continue my research in online gaming. After all I am writing a game, and I need to keep up with all the innovations and pick out the good things over the bad to program into my game. Life in General: Some days I even wonder if it is worth getting up at all, not that I have a death wish. Just don't see the point in it. After all, who cares if I write a game or not, Who would even play it if I did, besides me? Man what a piety party I can have at times. When I'm done eating my whimpy-whinies, I still have to get up and go potty, because I don't like the idea of wearing it all day either. Those times in my life are like book title jokes we used to make. "Fifty Yard Dash to the Outhouse." Written by "Will E Make it?" And illustrated by "Bet E Don't." "Fields and streams." By "I P Freely." "Antlers in the Tree." By "Who Goosed the Moose." "Piles in the Desert" By "Squat and Leave it Lay." |
| BLOGCITY Prompt:Some people feel an intense need to sit on the ground and run their fingers through the grass to feel connected with the earth. Have you ever been compelled to do this yourself? Why was it important to you? Are there other ways to make a connection with the earth? My wife and I came up with ways we feel compelled to commune with the earth. As many a gangly male knows, introduction to the earth is hard met while trying to impress a girl and experiencing the folly of an untied shoelace or a twig on the sidewalk. Many a farmer has found his relationship to the earth by tripping over a cow pie and falling face first into the pig pen. Our first introductions to the earth is as we are learning the elegance of movement. As parents we are so thank full for diapers to soften the fall. I personally had a very hard lesson in tree climbing when the branch I was climbing up on broke and I tumbled from branch to branch then the abrupt stop when the earth wrapped me in her stern motherly embrace. You know that cows sleep standing up and as a prank we used to go into the pasture and tip the sleeping cow over introducing them to the loving embrace of mother earth. |
| BLOGCITY Prompt:Ann Bradstreet said, " if we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant." Would you agree with that statement? Do we need to have the unhappy side of something to fully experience its happier side? Why or Why Not? I had to take time and actually think about it. Now in a rational thought if there was no winter then there wouldn't be a spring or a summer mostly because it was stuck in either spring or summer or autumn. Since it is stuck then no spring or any other season changes wouldn't be noticed at all because there would be no change. I know I would miss the changes. I know they must happen for life to exist on this planet. I love the turning of brown into green in spring time I love seeing my world in color under a beautiful clear blue sky in mid summer. I enjoy watching our none fruit bearing grape vine leaves turn purple in autumn. I enjoy a white Christmas instead of a brown one. |
| BLOGCITY Prompt: The smoke seen in the dream now rises. Hawaiian Proverb See what you can do with this. As a writing exercise I fell challenged to write this: The smoke seen in the dream now rises. Reveling you are in a room filled with hungry Blog readers and they are screaming at you to finish your Blog as fast as you can! They warn that if you ever miss another day they will all have roast blogger for dinner. |
| BLOGCITY In his book, titled Consolations, David Whyte says, “Heartbreak is how we mature.” What does heartbreak mean to you? Do you agree with the author that heartbreak is necessary for us to mature? You know I think it is all about how we describe heart break. Do you remember writing your first story and all the work you did to make it work. Then have the first person to read it tell you it stank? Talk about heart break or when you send in a story to a sure thing and get a rejection slip. I know life is full of rejection. I do agree that being married and have your spouse and mother of your children tell you she doesn't love you any more and wants a divorce is a great heart breaker. Or you come home and catch her in bed with another man. Or the lady of your life comes home to find you in bed with another women. It is heartbreak city for you no matter the cause. I understand we all do stupid things and part of life is learning form our mistakes. But I will never understand infidelity because I would never cheat on my wife. I can always picture the scene of her asking me where did her clap come from or one of the scenes above happening. I have too many children to ever do that to her, that is the excuse I use to tell me that, that is a big no, no. However, life is full of heart break, the loss of parents, a dog, a cat, or other pets. Our children and their learning lessons. Nothing like getting a knock at your door at 3:00 o'clock in the morning. Having a police officer telling you that your child was caught with a bunch of friends sniffing paint. I think we all have our share of "Heartbreak." I think that this is only a part of life that molds us as a person. I think we also react to approval and acceptance as well as heartbreak. |
| BLOGCITY Prompt: Many different people have very unique sneezes.  Which one of your friends has the loudest and most boisterous sneeze? Actually My ninth of 11 son has the loudest sneeze it is so loud and obnoxious that we make him go to his room and close the door just to keep from needing hearing aids. Think about that friend for a minute, would you say that sneeze fits with his or her personality? Yes I would say so in his case.Why or Why not? He is ADHD and always looking for attention and his sneeze does get him that.How would you describe your own sneeze? Quiet because I hold in all the volume, just because I don't want to be more of an example to my kids then my son is. The problem with my sneeze is the violence that comes with it. One day I was being rewarded with cat attention I had all four cats on me and the big long haired cat flicked his tail under my nose and started the sneeze reaction. I sneezed so hard it scatted cats in all directions and blew my socks off. Mostly because they were on the rug and I jerked my feet back hard and they slid right off. Now days only one cat will venture back in my lap and the minute she feels me start to move she jumps off. |
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